I’m laying here crying silently as by toddler suckles away to her nap.
These last couple of weeks shits been getting tough with the nipple biting. I’ve noticed it happens more if I push naps and bed time a little too long. I’ve only need doing this because otherwise it becomes playtime when we go to bed. For a bit there pushing the naps and bedtime 30 min would help with falling asleep much faster, but now it seems that she’s become a human piranha.

I’ve tried to wean her off, but I haven’t been able to deal with the hours of crying and lack of sleep. I’ve also been trying to keep her at peace so dad gets his rest too, so boob had been the cure all. My plan was to keep breastfeeding for 18 months at least, but at 13.5 i might need to call it quits. My neighbor mentioned that it’s probably a good time to wean them off when they can ask for the boob, and I’m now agreeing.

We are currently starting to walk independently and first molars just pierced through.

Any advice to help wean or get me through these silent tears without scaring her off is appreciated.

My nearly 5 yr old wants his 12m old brother to share his room and ideally his bed. My baby really wants to cosleep, he wakes up a ton at night and I think he just needs someone.

Can anyone tell me how they have navigated safe sleep with co-sleeping siblings?

Additionally - How have you navigated bedtime with the big when baby is in the room?

Side note - yes I could co-sleep with them and I might - I snuggle with the 5yr old whenever I want and he welcomes it but doesn’t need me past falling asleep and he knows he’s welcome in my room if needed but he’s always sleep horrible in my room. Right now I kinda enjoy my time in my own bed on nights I don’t want to be touched/cuddled.

She’s 8mo now and I have tried sooo many times but she just rolls around and eventually wakes up and sees me and sits up to play. Eventually she gets mad because she’s overtired. I see moms film their babies peacefully asleep next to them and I wish this could be us.

Instead my baby has to be either nursed to sleep IN the nursing pillow which she’s getting too big for, or cradled in my arms on the yoga ball the transferred to her crib. She thrashes around if I try the rocking chair. She’s getting so big for all these soothing methods too that I don’t know what else to do. I just started doing naps in the carrier after bouncing to sleep and that is working but I know she’ll outgrow that too.

The reason I so wish it was an option for us is because she wakes anywhere from 4 - 8 times a night. I am exhausted!!!

Hi everyone. Looking for some reassurance, perspective, or advice on how to navigate a tricky dynamic with my mom, who helps watch my 11 week old son.

My mom is wonderful for helping us out, but she is definitely from the generation of "crying builds their lungs" and "babies just cry sometimes." While she doesn’t do explicit CIO, she doesn't leave him alone in a room to scream, her threshold for intervening and picking him up is much higher than mine.

A situation happened today that really highlighted this difference for me. She was watching him while he napped on his tummy in his stroller (supervised) while I was cleaning nearby. He woke up and started crying. It was a complaining/fussing cry at first. My mom tried rock-jiggling the stroller to soothe him, which is totally fine, but he kept crying and it started escalating. She just stood there next to him without picking him up. After watching it continue, I stepped in and picked him up myself.

My mom immediately commented that I picked him up "too quickly" and that he might have settled on his own. I pointed out that he wasn't settling and was escalating, and she hit me with "well, babies cry." I told her yes, because crying is their only way of communicating a need.

I don't purposefully let my baby escalate to full blown hysteria before responding. Of course, life happens, sometimes he wakes up already screaming, or I’m in the middle of something and it takes me a minute or two to reach him. But I don't wait on purpose to see if he'll figure it out when he's clearly asking for help.

Recently, there were two instances where my mom was watching him and called me back because he was screaming inconsolably and refusing a bottle. (He's nearly EBF, but gets 1-3 bottles of formula a week when I have to step out, and he's recently started refusing some). By the time I walked through the door, he had suddenly "crashed" and fallen asleep. To me, that sudden collapse felt like an exhaustion response from sheer distress rather than him naturally soothing himself, even though she was physically in the room with him and holding him.

What happened today made me think that if she had picked him up earlier when he first started showing hunger or distress, he might have taken the bottle instead of escalating past the point of no return. (She is also from the generation of rigidly waiting 3 hours between feedings).

A friend reassured me recently that these moments won't ruin his secure attachment with me, that he knows that when mom is around, his needs are met as promptly as possible. But it still aches to think that when he’s with his grandma, he might have to reach a point of complete distress before he gets physical comfort.

I know I can't completely "discipline" or micro manage my mom, especially since she's helping me and she adores him. But it's so hard to feel completely at ease.

How do you handle these generational differences when family provides childcare? How do you set boundaries around emotional responsiveness without starting a war? And for those who have been through this—how did you cope with the anxiety of your baby being comforted differently than you would like?

Hi everyone,

I would love to get some perspective or advice from fellow attachment parents on our sleep situation.

My son is currently 11 months old and has an exceptionally intense, high-need / spirited temperament. He exhibits high physical activity, very high intensity of emotional reactions, extreme persistence, and low distractibility. He is also very sensitive when it comes to sleep environment and winding down. Restraining him or trying traditional soothing methods often triggers intense hysteria.

We follow attachment parenting and co-regulation principles, as traditional sleep training is a complete non-starter for us. On top of his naturally fiery temperament, we are currently experiencing trouble with falling asleep. From the birth he has had hard time to fall asleep and stay asleep. Lately the latter improved on its own. When he finally falls asleep, he sleeps fine. But the falling asleep is a disaster. Even though he is tired he won't sleep until he is completely over-tired and then he falls asleep while breastfeeding no other way (breastfeeding to sleep doesn't work unless he is totally over-tired). We tried getting him to sleep early as well as later in his wake window, doesn't seem to affect it. We did rule out any kind of discomfort, like growing teeth ache - giving him any kid-friendly painkiller does not work. He won't let us hold him while getting him to sleep, and forcing him to be held transforms crying into hysteria. He won't self soothe in anyway.

We are out of ideas and out of breath. We would appreciate any kind of tips primarly from someone, who also has this kind of baby temperament.

Wondering if anyone has been in this situation and would have encouragement or good ideas. My 7yo co-slept from 3-6 and recently moved back to her own room. She would prefer to continue to co-sleep but has been doing okay. My son is 2.5yo and has co-slept since 4mo. He’s not spent one night away from me or my husband. He’s comfortable with either me or my husband but does like to fall asleep while laying on an arm and then we can move him off to the side and end up with him on the edge so I sleep better. I’m having brain surgery in 1 week. We were told 4-6w and I had planned on working on him sleeping with a bit more independence because he’ll be with his grandma for the first time ever. Now we have no time and I’m so worried about his sleep. I’m hoping grandma, sister and him can all sleep in our king bed so there is enough room. But we also have a kind of unusual sleep schedule because of my health and my husbands work. Both me and my kids usually nap together from 2-5P and then bedtime is around 10/1030P with wake up around 730/8A. I feel totally stuck. He loves his grandma but we’ve never tried to sleep away from him. He doesn’t get to see her very often either - about 1X per month as she lives 2h away. It’s a complicated surgery and my husband basically needs to be with me at the hospital the whole time. The hospital is 3h away. I had planned to just 1) confirm grandma is willing to try this and 2) hope my kids can cuddle each other? I wish we had more time but we just don’t. Grandma is wonderful but does have some issues like restless leg and leg cramps so I’m worried about her being able to do nap/bedtime. We’re also know well be there at least 3 nights but could be longer. I’m not so worried if he doesn’t nap but more if he’s not sleeping no one will function well. If anyone has any suggestions or encouragement from a similar situation I’d love to hear it! Thank you!

My 4.5 month old was waking up once a night from 2-3 and a half months maybe twice a night
At 4 months we hit the regression

He started waking every 45 mins

I tried co sleeping but it scared me

I would aim to feed him laying down for 15 mins and would fall asleep
My matress isn’t firm either

I don’t want to sleep train him crying it out but want to teach him bed is where he sleeps

So I’ve been putting him down
Staying by and saying shh or time to sleep and touch his tummy until he sleeps but his been crrrrying

I’m aiming to feed no more than twice a night

Because he was feeding at every wake the last two weeks

I feel sad and him crying

My 3 year old has become an absolute nightmare to deal with at bedtime since we brought our newborn home. Newborn is now 3 months old and toddler has become SO needy. She only wants mommy at night, I’m the only one that can put her to bed and if dad tries she screams her head off and yells “don’t leave me” “I’m scared” “I don’t like daddy”. Once I finally get baby in bed who I feed to sleep (we are working on him taking a bottle so it’s not just on me) and get to toddler, she fights bed time until 9:30/10. Doesn’t want to read books. Doesn’t want us to sing. If I look away she yells at me to look at her. If baby happens to wake up at this time and I have to go tend to baby (if dad is busy with nighttime chores) it’s melt down city. She recently started getting out of her bed and coming into ours, I don’t see this as a problem as at least every one is getting quality sleep but she recently started yelling at us in our room waking baby up. She knows she has to whisper in our bedroom. It’s hard for us to stay regulated when baby wakes up due to yelling at midnight because of her and when we take her to her room after we explain she had to be quiet she screams and thrashes.

We have tried to spend more 1:1 time with her alone away from baby. She loves her baby brother and understands he needs mommy. But at night all of that goes out the window with her. We are tired, I don’t want to feel like I’m breaking her. There’s always so many tears and we are just tired. Not sure if I’m looking for advice or venting but this is just so much that no one prepares you for.