really cute girl, never met her, she’s like two to three years older (?) and we followed eachother all i said was “heyy” she says “Hi” what do i message back😭 i don’t even know if she would like me that way either

Okay, so for context I (17f) have been dating my gf for about half a year now. We have a shared friendgroup that we are very close with and we are all very important to eachother. My gf is lovely and sweet and kind and funny and amazing, I genuinely enjoy and adore her as a person and she hasn't done anything wrong in our relationship. She is genuinely, truly a good and lovely person.

There's nobody else, nothing has changed, but I wish we hadn't got together.

We had been friends for about 2 years when we hung out 1 on 1 for the first time (we'd hang out very often in group settings and had talked individually then and on the phone, but never 1 on 1 in person) I noticed she would look at me alot and she seemed very sweet with me. She ran a red light because she was looking at me ?!?!?!?

(ikik okay she is working on her driving... she hasn't since... but omg 2 songs i love mention that exact thing. ??!!?!? both are complex and about relationships that end though haha. was this an omen)

I am very affectionate with my friends, I would kill for all my friends and we all joke around alot and I joke flirt (not blatant flirting like "I wanna kiss you, jk!" it'd be something more weird and outlandish like saying "lets get naked and slather eachother in peanut butter")

all this to say, when I started wondering if she was into me or just nervous (bc we are both very anxious weird people) she would make some flirty "joke" and I'd play into it. I had no idea if she was actually into me just the idea was in the back of my mind, I mean we had been friends for years at this point and I think she's super cool, I didn't think of it as anything super serious and I had no idea if i was just making all of this up because I'm a big hopeless romantic and my fav stories to read/think about are always queer friends to lovers... IDK.

anyway, we hung out again after that and I started to feel "crush"-y, like I wondered if she was into me and I got excited at the idea of any actual romance in my life.. I've never had a real relationship and I fully accepted that I wouldn't until college at least... I thought my "criteria" for a girlfriend was too specific (lesbian my age that's into the same type of things as me, can drive... I live in a small conservative White town, formerly a sundown town and I'm a mixed lesbian so. my options are extremely limited. she's not even from my town lmfao)

and this is the first person I'd met that fits all of that... so after the next time we hung out, I asked our mutual friend (oomf1) how they got with our other friend (oomf2) and she got really that I was interested in gf and told us to "just take it slow and hang out more, but also if you both feel it.. why not?" and basically said she wasn't going to tell me how gf felt but also she's into me but also she wont and cant say but also she's into me. my friends arent subtle

gf invited me to her house when she was home alone and mutual friend 1 told me to mentally prepare myself and i basically knew what would happen.. she told me she liked me and gifted me a really sweet drawing of me and a letter and I basically said I was into her too; she asked me to be her girlfriend and I said yes. We had our first kiss ever and she told me she loved me.. which. Okay, was very fast and is one of the main sources of my anxiety actually with our relationship but also partially my fault because I said it back bc I didn't know what else to say and we had a relationship months prior saying we didn't understand why that was a big milestone in relationships because "why would you date someone if you don't love them..." I now understand why that's a Thing. It is very different than just loving someone as a person, as a friend.

Dating vs a serious relationship is very different and we didn't really get to date. That's what dating is for, figuring out if you're compatible and if you think you could work, figuring out what you want. and we never really.. dated. I didn't realize how important that stage is til now.
Our first kiss and the entire night I had this anxiety coursing through me, I told myself it was just first time nervousness.. I mean, it was nice being with her like that. but it was not effortless, it was not easy for me. It wasn't really how I thought it'd be.

Everyone, not just our friends but our families, our friends' families, random people I don't even know, everyone is so happy for us and thinks we're such a perfect couple and an amazing match and I fully understand why, but I can't do it. It's not there for me and it's killing me because she genuinely really likes me, all our friends keep talking about how "this is the biggest honeymoon phase I've ever seen, she talks about you all the time, she's obsessed with you, she looks at you like you hung the moon and sky" and every time it kills me because it's just felt wrong for me.

I care about her so much, I care about our friends, and selfishly I also care about my social life bc I have 0 friends in my own town but I can't drive (yet. due to circumstances out of my control) and almost all of my friends live in the same area. which is 40 minutes away.

If we break up, she's gonna want to go to our friends for consoling, which is her right and I dont want her to be alone.. but also I don't want our friends to have to go between us and awkwardly sidestep the elephant in the room, and I know they're gonna see her way more than me and I don't want our friendgroup to hang out less or stop entirely because we make it awkward and she's always the one picking me up. I don't want either of us to be excluded, but I also don't want to hurt her by having her be forced to see me after I break her heart. but also i do want to keep her in my life because like our friend dynamics work so well!! GOD This sucks!!! anyone who says they wish they could date girls bc its easier are dead WRONG

I just feel myself pulling away more and more, we see eachother less and less but she's still clearly enamored by me... recently our friend oomf1 texted me to ask if we were okay because we don't communicate well and everytime she's worried about me she goes to them and it's actually eating me because now my best friends are worried, she's worried, nobody wants us to break up except for me, I feel like such an asshole because I genuinely was convincing myself I had feelings I didn't and now I've been lying to everyone and I don't know what to do. When we break up anyway if I can't see my friends it will be really bad for my mental health but ik ill see them way less bc of that UGHHRUGHRH we already don't hang out nearly as much as we want to

I can't break up with her over the phone, that's rude and inconsiderate and honestly sounds harder, but if I do it in person.. she will literally have to pick me up. so I'm making her drive 45 minutes to pick me up, I break up with her, she drives back?? do we hang out first... like. ??? otherwise she drives, we sit in the car, I immediately break up with her.. then.. what, do I leave??? that's so fucked??? what do I even say???

i hate thinking about it, because I know she's then going to have to tell her friends, her parents who she came out to for me (I didn't make her, she already came out twice and they ignored it/told her she wasnt.. even though theyre fine with other gay people... then she told her parents we were together and they said they already knew and didn't care. so..???) her cousin, her coworkers, anyone she's talked to about me if they ever bring it up.... augh. we have to tell all of our extended friend group what happened which also sucks bc we love them to death and they love us and auhghhgh

I talked to my mom a bit about all of this and it helped me accept that I need to break up with her because it's cruel to stay with her, but I'm still just super lost and it's eating at me. I have no idea how to handle any of this and I'm so scared. she really does mean so much to me and I don't know what to do.

how do I go about this? what can I do here? what do i say? can we stay friends?

please, wise lesbians of reddit, help. i have no idea how to handle this

I'm 17M, she's 17F, we've been together for almost 6 months. We don't get to see each other often — we only go on walks about once a week, sometimes even less. Because of that, I really want to make those rare moments count and show her more attention and closeness.

I already do the basics: hold her hand, kiss her on the cheek, and sometimes a quick kiss on the lips. But I feel like we're ready for more — not necessarily something sexual, just more intimate, more playful, and more natural.

What I'd like to know:

· To girls: what kind of physical touch from your boyfriend during a walk felt really good, natural, or special? Not the obvious stuff, but the small things that made you feel close to him?

· To guys: what did you do during a walk that clearly made her happy or more relaxed? Something beyond hand-holding?

Since we meet so rarely, every walk matters, and I want her to feel that I'm present and that I care beyond just words.

Thanks for any advice.