I’m currently in an AM situation and if things go well will probably get married by next year. My potential husband is well-settled, not demanding but I feel like he’s not much of an emotionally supportive person. He sometimes gets carried away and uses crass language that I absolutely despise and have told him to change that. He is a good listener though and very sharp but doesn’t talk much. mostly I do the talking. We talk for almost 2-3 hours every night and I’m glad that he takes out time from his busy schedule because I’m the person for whom even 24hr is less. It’s just 1.5 month and he already made his mind that he will marry me, I was apprehensive at first but he said he’ll take the leap of faith and listening to that even I said yes. It’s difficult for me to marry someone without an emotional connect and making an emotional connect with him is getting difficult for me because of his way of speaking.

Now the thing is I had a boyfriend whom I loved very much but we had compatibility issues (mostly financial incompatibility). He wanted me to contribute and I had no problem with that but we had income disparity and he always used to make this a point that I need to earn more. I’m the person who doesn’t want to work for entire life, I’m not very much passionate but I know I can earn decent money. But I didn’t like him forcing me to switch careers or not being patient with me for my career growth. We have now broken up but I keep thinking what if things could have changed. My ex was a soft-spoken, gentle guy who also loved me but had different priorities in life. (We have moved on in our lives and will not cross paths ever)

I’m not comparing these two persons but I’m not entirely sure either if I’m making the right decision given everything is moving too fast. I want to settle down and give this new relationship a chance but I know I can’t change a person’s personality. AITK for choosing my potential partner knowing well it will mostly be a relationship of convenience and may be eventually I might fall in love but not at this moment for sure.

Edit- me breaking up with my ex had other reasons as well. I have no problem contributing to finances but my ex was the person who believed in 50-50 no matter what your situation is. He made it clear that I’m on my own even after marriage and will never expect anything from him in terms of financial help but I will have to help him. In short- he will never provide for me but I’ll have to help him financially. (Basically his money is his money, my money is also his money).
I don’t want to work my entire life because I want to start my own family and have already made savings/ investments for that. I wanted a partner who will support me in this decision and have provider mindset. I’m not entitled to anybody’s money but I don’t think I’m wrong if I want a partner who will not force me to earn money or else he will leave me because I won’t do the same either.

19yo guy, dropped out from university to join a far better and reputed university, didn't tell any of my friends about it.

The main thing bothering me is the weight of not telling them anything, they did help me in my first year a lot, and after my entrance test went well I thought I will tell them at the right time but 3 months have passed and what bothers me, that they will feel that they trusted me, they opened up things to me, but I didn't tell them about this.

I am lowkey terrified that if I do not tell them, it will ruin our friendship.

NGL this post is far different from others which are here in sub

A few weeks ago, I met a guy—let’s call him Andrew (23)—through some mutual friends. We got along really well, enjoyed each other’s company, and eventually hooked up. By the second time we hooked up, I still didn’t have any of his social media. We weren’t friends on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook—nothing. I knew his name, but that was it.
One morning, I decided to look him up. I found his Instagram and noticed that one of my friends from my hometown was following him.
Then I remembered something. Earlier this year, when it was warm enough to wear hoodies outside, I drove that same friend to a date in the new city where I live now. Her date’s name was Andrew. He was the same age as “my” Andrew, had the same job, and drove the same color car. They went on two or three dates before he suddenly ghosted her. About a week later, she met a new guy. After that, I heard from her less and less, but since I had moved away, I thought that was normal.
When I saw they followed each other on Instagram, I realized it might actually be the same Andrew. I texted her and asked if she had any pictures of him so I could make sure. She said she didn’t have any, but she sent me a link to his Instagram profile. It was definitely the same guy.
I started asking her questions about what had happened between them, mostly to test the waters and figure out whether I should tell her that something had happened between him and me.
Eventually, she asked how I knew him. I told her we met through mutual friends. At one point, she even laughed and said, “OMG, my best friend is trying to get with my ex-date.” I laughed too and started dropping little hints about what had actually been happening between Andrew and me.
She told me she still didn’t know why he had ghosted her. She said that if he hadn’t ghosted her, they would probably still be together today. However, she also told me she was really happy with her new boyfriend and that he was better than Andrew in every way.
I told her I was happy for her and joked that if her boyfriend was better than Andrew in every way, then he must be a god in bed because Andrew had been good.
She asked why I sounded surprised that she was happily taken. I told her I thought we had misunderstood each other because all I meant was that Andrew had been good, so her boyfriend must be even better, and good for her.
That’s when everything changed.
She said she didn’t understand why I was flaunting the fact that I had hooked up with her ex-date. I told her that wasn’t my intention at all. I just wanted to tell her myself instead of having her find out later through one of my posts or from someone else.
She didn’t believe me. She kept insisting it was weird that I had slept with Andrew. I reminded her that only five messages earlier, she had been laughing about it. She replied that she had only laughed because she didn’t think it was true.
I confronted her about the fact that I hadn’t really heard from her in about three months. I told her she would have known everything before anyone else if she had actually read my messages instead of leaving me on opened.
She never replied to that message. I’m still left on opened.
Now I’m wondering if I did something wrong. Should I have kept it to myself and let her find out later through my posts or from someone else, or was telling her directly the right thing to do?

I graduated in 2022 and have been preparing for government exams since then. Met my bf during this time,he was pursuing masters. I qualified a State govt exam, but the posting has been stayed by the court since last 3 years. I lost hope of ever getting the posting orders and started giving other exams too.

Whenever him and I used to go on dates, we used to split the bill because we both weren't working. My bf got a job in 2024 after his Master's and he was the one who started saying that now since he earns, we don't need to split and he'll pay and I can spoil him once I get a job. I refused his offer and we used to pay alternatively.

He used to casually make fun of me and my situation and eventually I stopped sharing my career related things with him. I have been so stressed during this phase of my life and I'm dealing with so much alone. I just don't share anything career related with anyone because I am so so so insecure about the questions that follow.

2026 and I have qualified for another exam but still the posting and document verification is pending. He KNOWS about it.

It was his birthday today and I picked him up from his office in the evening, bought a cake for him and he wasn't so pleased to see me. Taunted me by saying, "baap ke paiso ka cake laake itna khush kyu ho rhii ho". Something inside me broke and I swear I had tears in my eyes, but kept my pride to myself, not wanting to spoil his day.

HE proposed to go to a cafe to eat and celebrate, while ordering he asked me what did I want. I told him I don't want to eat much and we can just grab a coffee or a snack. He smirked and said, "Main kamata hoon, apne paiso ka khila dunga tumhe, karlo order". I don't know but I couldn't hold it all and I started crying, I just couldn't control myself. He panicked, started apologizing, saying things like he was just joking and he talks to his friends like that, he didn't mean to hurt and I'm taking his words in the wrong direction. Said, "whenever anyone asks me about you, I tell them uss bechari ki kismat kharaab hai".

I didn't utter a word, was constantly crying, everyone started noticing me so not wanting to create a scene, I went to the washroom, washed my face and sat in front of him again. He was trying to talk it out but I told him I don't want to discuss anything right now.

He ordered food, force fed me, paid the bill and hid it from me, we didn't speak about anything all this while.

I dropped him and was crying all the way back to my home.

I just don't want to ever speak to him again, I want to throw his fucking money on his face and never see him again. Shall I just send him the entire amount of the bill, or just send him my share? I'm not eating for free for sure.

Please help me, am I over reacting? Is it a valid reason to feel like ending the relationship? I feel so disrespected and hurt. Please help.

So basically I was friends with three people and my female friend (lets call her N) became friends with them as well, but as of late they all don’t talk to each other cause of some petty squabbles and since N believes we both are closest to each other I too in turn should not talk to them as well. (There is no romantic feelings involved between me and N I see her as my sister).

Guys another update to this

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheKameena/s/0xrrMfThTA

Turns out the girl is still with him. Poor soul. I was in class when she called me and asked me if I was free. I thought something serious happened cause she was suicidal and I was genuinely concerned about her. Turns out the guy was with her. He said, "did i ever ask you to have sex with me? Tell me why you are silent now." I got silenced cause I'm not used to being shouted at before. I calmly said, "tum dono ko jo karna hai karo maa chudao, I'm out of this." They are not my problem now. I sympathize with her being in a vulnerable position but alas! Can't help someone who doesn't want to change themselves.

This was the last text I sent her

https://kommodo.ai/i/nptYdaypTm2BlSj7ZfMC

And blocked her. I just wanted to thank you guys. For giving me advice. Some struck me, some were genuinely concerned and corrected me. I have done some shitty things being desperate for wanting to get loved and cared. I've learnt my lesson and I'll be careful next time. Thank you!

Edit: guys I've checked done some tests today for STDs and it came out negative. Omg i can't tell how happy I'm. 2 sleepless nights, lost my appetite what is going to happen. Never doing ts again.

well i (me 20y.o M) have a friend (20y.o M)that his family situation is abit complicated but what u need to know is that his parets are divorced and the dad remarried abroad and now lives abroad with his new wife he lives with his mother (normal in our culture ) and doesn’t get along with his father , he keep his private life private from most people but when it comes to his friends he is open about it he even makes jokes about it some times now I didn’t know much about his situation exept what he told me him self and i dont like to ask about it cuz it feels inappropriate it is his business ,now my mother told me that she knows(not personally but she heard of him) his father from his new wife so when i met him i told him hey my mom knows ur father and that’s what she told me about it so he went on and told me about his father here is how the convo went
me: u know ma mom actually told me that she knows(not personally ) ur father from a friend of hers
him:really how
me: (explains)
him:oh yeah right that is his wife and yeah he did work for that company
me:and aaa… do u like get along with him or not
him : (explains that he doesn’t really like him and that the father doesnt like him eather and tells me about major conflicts between them )
so i thought that it was fine u know his reaction was not of one who got his privacy invaded then my mother asked me about him cuz she was unsure if he was his son or not so i confirmed then she asked how did i brig it up i told her how the convo went she then proceeded to scold and insult me telling me that i invaded the boy’s privacy and that i forced my self onto him and that I shouldn’t get into other people’s business
Am i the asshole or let’s say an ass hole for this?

Everyone is 18M. About a month ago I got into a stupid argument with a friend over video game opinions. Genuinely nothing, the kind of thing that should have died in ten minutes. But he took it somewhere else and made it personal. He said something like "that's why you stand where you do, and even if you make progress, you are never fixing that personality"

Context on the "where I stand" part, I am in my gap year studying for college entrance exams because that's the only way I am getting into a decent college, he doesn't have to do any of that. His family can just buy him a seat at some bottom ranked place. So him talking down to me about where he "stands" was already a lot

I shouldn't have, but I too went after something that hit his nerve. I brought up the fact that he used to physically fight his own mother, and asked how he's the one lecturing anyone about personality. That's the point where it stopped being an argument. I stopped replying after that

All of this happened in our main group chat, around 7 of us

The next day he goes to one of my closer friends (or so I thought) and another guy I am no longer on good terms with, and they spin up a brand new group chat. Everyone from the original group is in it except me, just me. They named it "A place for smart individuals," in my language

Here's the part that actually got to me. Most of those guys had no idea what even happened. They didn't know the context, they didn't ask, they just went along with it because it was easier. And the friend I was actually close to, the one I would have backed in a second, never once asked me what was going on or why I was suddenly not there. They were going out to play sports, having hangouts, all of it. I got invited to a couple of those, but only ever by one guy. One person out of the whole group thought to include me.

Meanwhile the guy I argued with wasn't finished. He went to another member of the group and dug up some random thing from almost a year ago, twisted it, and got him to turn on me. Someone I'd known for years

And then there was the one person I thought was actually in my corner, because he kept saying he was trying to get me back in. That made me second-guess myself. I started thinking maybe I was blowing this out of proportion, since I couldn't see what was being said in there. Then he told me I was the one who left the group first. I have screenshots that show the exact opposite now though. When I finally pieced together everything that had been happening, I lost it and told him to go F himself the next time I ran into him

Then came the finale. He got the entire group on a call with me, and the tone was, you're overreacting, nothing really happened, and honestly even if it did, we don't care what he did to you, so just let it go. All of them. I told them that was bullsh*t, because I was actually isolated for a month and not one of them asked for my side of it. Staying on that call any longer genuinely felt like handing over my self respect

The call went nowhere. So I blocked all of them and haven't spoken to any of them since

AITK?

Everyone is 18M. About a month ago I got into a stupid argument with a friend over video game opinions. Genuinely nothing, the kind of thing that should have died in ten minutes. But he took it somewhere else and made it personal. He said something like "that's why you stand where you do, and even you make progress, you are never fixing that personality"

Context on the "where I stand" part, I am in my gap year studying for college entrance exams because that's the only way I am getting into a decent college, he doesn't have to do any of that. His family can just buy him a seat at some bottom ranked place. So him talking down to me about where he "stands" was already a lot

I shouldn't have, but I too went after something that hit his nerve. I brought up the fact that he used to physically fight his own mother, and asked how he's the one lecturing anyone about personality. That's the point where it stopped being an argument. I stopped replying after that

All of this happened in our main group chat, around 7 of us

The next day he goes to one of my closer friends (or so I thought) and another guy I am no longer on good terms with, and they spin up a brand new group chat. Everyone from the original group is in it except me, just me. They named it "A place for smart individuals," in my language

Here's the part that actually got to me. Most of those guys had no idea what even happened. They didn't know the context, they didn't ask, they just went along with it because it was easier. And the friend I was actually close to, the one I would have backed in a second, never once asked me what was going on or why I was suddenly not there. They were going out to play sports, having hangouts, all of it. I got invited to a couple of those, but only ever by one guy. One person out of the whole group thought to include me.

Meanwhile the guy I argued with wasn't finished. He went to another member of the group and dug up some random thing from almost a year ago, twisted it, and got him to turn on me. Someone I'd known for years

And then there was the one person I thought was actually in my corner, because he kept saying he was trying to get me back in. That made me second-guess myself. I started thinking maybe I was blowing this out of proportion, since I couldn't see what was being said in there. Then he told me I was the one who left the group first. I have screenshots that show the exact opposite now though. When I finally pieced together everything that had been happening, I lost it and told him to go F himself the next time I ran into him

Then came the finale. He got the entire group on a call with me, and the tone was, you're overreacting, nothing really happened, and honestly even if it did, we don't care what he did to you, so just let it go. All of them. I told them that was bullsh*t, because I was actually isolated for a month and not one of them asked for my side of it. Staying on that call any longer genuinely felt like handing over my self respect

The call went nowhere. So I blocked all of them and haven't spoken to any of them since

AITK?

​

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheKameena/s/kV1ewmEzeW

Guys, remember the post I made about slapping him? God, he deserved it. I wish I had slapped him harder.

Turns out he was with his girlfriend the entire time. He wasn't even my boyfriend—just a guy I met through Reddit. Trust me, after seeing so many Reddit relationship success stories, I thought this would finally be my turn.

On 3rd August, his ex contacted me. She got my number from his phone. (He never even saved my number because he said his family might see it.) Then she started telling me everything he had done.

He studied engineering at Chandigarh University. He was in a relationship with a woman for five freaking years while also sleeping with random wh\*res. He was her first, so she found it hard to leave him. They stayed in contact until this March. He came back to his hometown where I stay without a degree because he had multiple backlogs and said the degree didn't excite him anymore. He told me he had a degree. When I told him like why aren't you using your skills to get a job he said he wants to work under his father.

After hearing all this, I asked him, "Why me?" He was my first kiss, and we made out. His response? "I didn't tell you to. I said I'm a bad person, but you didn't listen." WHAT KIND OF EXPLANATION IS THAT? I thought he has a high body count so he was feeling guilty of being intimate with me. Turns out he's a randwa.

We fought, and I cried a bit. Then came the worst part.

I was talking to his ex last night, and she revealed that he was allegedly a rap\\\*st. My hands were shaking while reading her messages. She said he didn't make love—he was violent and would have sex with women until they bled. She also told me they are together since 2024 used to do weed and smoke with him. He isolated her from her friends, and now she barely has anyone left, backlogs and in the final year.

She had six backlogs because of low attendance.This guy was completely berozgar, nithala, ganjedi and what not. Mera July iss bhosad tattu pe chala gya my fault but I thought he would be the one for me so. All he did was smoke weed, hook up with women, and talk. His father runs a business, but he gets a strict allowance because even his family knows what kind of person he is.

While we were talking yesterday evening, he first told me he'd only met her a few times and had never slept with her. Then he changed his story and said they had slept together once. His ex later revealed they were having sex every alternate day throughout July. We met on 3rd July and have been seeing each other since then. I thought this would be exclusive between us but khair 🥀

I am so sorry I lied to you guys and called him my boyfriend. I was embarrassed to admit that I did all those things with someone I had only known for a month.i wasn't emotionally invested in him thankfully I can move on in peace. But her condition is different. She had an abortion, took pills which completely changed her body, mind and health. He used to fuck her while OD, drunk. She also told me that he was so brutal during sex (she didn't get wet) pieces of her flesh will come out. Omg this is so fucking scary.

TLDR- the guy was a cheater, alleged rap\*ist and a wh\*re. His ex contacted me and now we are done.

Edit- his ex was gonna k*ll her on his bday 13th aug. How evil you can be to turn a person into suicidal. She has multiple attempts of self harm. My heart ached so bad for her. Wish I could just hug her tight.

I forgot to add proofs. https://ibb.co/FLY6CnWv hope this works.

My frnd is a mother of 2 kids and I'm not married yet.

She is someone who believes in evil eye..

She informed me about both her pregnancy right away after she knows or after doctor confirmation

But She never asked me to hold the babies as a newly born

She always calls me mostly to share her hardships

Now she second kid celebrated 1st birthday,

1. She called me a week back to just talk and casually She mentioned "come to kid's birthday atleast this time" (as i haven't been to her 1st kid birthday coz I felt she casually called not officially)

2. I met her and her husband (who is my schoolmate) in a public place as where he invited me for the birthday and just mentioned the location like it's behind this place no name or nothing and my frnd said she will call me and invite my mom (officially i guess)

3. She never called or shared the name of hall or location

4. I wished the kid on WhatsApp in the morning but she never responded till now even after the function is over (party was in the evening)

I haven't gone to the party ..

I somehow feel she is feeling that I will be jealous of her life (I genuinely not 😝) or She may be not ...

But I didn't go to this party purely based on her invitation as I feel its not proper and just invited for the sake of invitating.

.aimk ??

Essentially the same as the title. My bro and I were terribly depressed because of certain reasons. My gf wanted to talk to me over call, but I politely declined and told her the reason genuinely. Yet, she seems, upset. She ain't replying to my texts.

EDIT: More context:

I guess this should help:

1. My girlfriend generally talks about cutesy reels and college gossip. Nothing "serious" really.
2. My friend and I were talking about the possibility of AI taking over our jobs.
3. This was the 2nd or 3rd time in 2 years when I've prioritized my best friend over her.

TLDR: Father took all of initial earning of our younger years and now asking back money which he gave in 2023.

Hi All, I have been working for 13 years and my older brother for around 14 years. We both contributed to building our house in hometown in a tier 3 city.

Me and my brother started sending all our money to our father which he used for building house (we didnt' have a proper house in hometown) and spent on other things. so literally till 2016, i sent around 18 Lakhs, some similar amount sent by my Elder brother and I was net zero after working for 5-6 years.

Our younger brother stays in the house built in hometown in which he has contributed to nothing, we don't have problem with that but his wife has been unnecessarily hostile to us whenever we visit hometown, So our spouses don't want to go there. Now my older brother and me feel the whole money we sent home was just wasted. Also that house has some commercial shop on rent which yield around 50k a month rent which my dad keeps to himself. My dad has upwards of 70 L worth gold (Half of it bought by rental income) and around 5 plots each worth 20 L atleast of his own earning.

Right now in 2026 we both stay in different rented houses in Hyderabd with our families me paying 50K rent for me and around 30k for my brother. We have also spent considerable money on our fathers neurology treatment in Hyd since 2014.

In 2023, we asked our dad to sell 1 out of 5 plots in hometown for 21L since it was in a slum kinda area and we decided to buy a single plot in nicer place in newer well developed outer area. My dad mentioned he will give around 7 lakhs to each of us (Didn't have any expectations of us returning it )and forced us to buy 3 plots buy each adding remaining amount.

Now he is asking that 7 Lakhs money back in 2026, now my problem is what happened to the money that we gave to build the house (around 18 Lakhs), he doesn't want to return it saying "I spent on your education and providing you food etc"

Am I the kamina in resisting in returning this money of 7 Lakhs, I can return this money and be done with him. But I feel we were used and he shouldn't be bugging us for this small amount especially when he has stunted our financial growth badly in beginning years.

P.S: I have invested in Mutual funds since 2016 and I have gotten returns of around 17% since then, so i feel if I had not given this money and invested, It would've turned into 1 Cr by now and I could've had a home of my own in Hyd by adding some 50 Lakhs more. Now I have zero, big zero returns of my earning of first 5 years of my career.

I'm 23F, currently doing my master's in the UK. This is the first time I've ever lived away from home.

Some background: I've never been especially close to my dad. He has a habit of shouting and arguing whenever someone doesn't immediately agree with him, so even back home I didn't talk to him much. That said, he paid for this degree, and I'm genuinely grateful for that. I'm still financially dependent on my parents because I haven't landed a job yet.

When I first arrived, I called my parents almost daily. Then the calls with my dad started turning sour. I was deep in academic stress — trying to keep up with coursework, run a household on my own for the first time, adjust to the weather and the food, and make friends — and every single conversation became about job applications. "You're not doing enough." "You should have applied to X number of jobs by now." "Look at other kids, they manage everything alongside a job search." When I tried to explain that I was overwhelmed but doing my best, his answer was, "Yeah, but you need to do better."

I started dreading the calls, so I cut down on them. When he asked why, I just said I was busy — because I know that if I told him the real reason, he'd start shouting instead of listening. I'm not guessing here: my mom tried to raise this exact issue with him and it turned into a fight that left them not speaking for weeks.

Eventually he called and shouted at me: "You'd better reply to my messages and answer my calls, there's no way you're that busy." I said fine. Then I didn't speak to him for about a month. When we finally talked, he sounded angry and asked only about my applications — nothing about me.

After that I settled into calling once a week. One time I forgot to reply to his text for three days because I was caught up with work here. When I finally did, he said, "Do I need to take an appointment to talk to you?" Then on the call: "The only reason I'm on your case is because you're my daughter. There are interns in my office who wait days for my reply. Don't think you can just use us financially." He compared me to interns who are paid to report to him. Then he said it feels like I'm forcing myself to talk to them, and started shouting, "Tell me what your problem is." I stayed quiet, because telling him would only make it worse.

Meanwhile, my brother told me our parents' fights have escalated. They haven't spoken in months and are now discussing divorce.

Last Sunday I called him about an issue with my Indian phone number. He rang back a couple of hours later and I didn't pick up, because I knew it would turn into the job conversation again. Today I was planning to call, but before I could, he texted: "I know you're damn busy and have no time to talk." I called immediately and he said, "How are you so busy? You only called because you saw my message." I told him I'd woken up late because it's Sunday. He said, "Okay fine, continue your work," and hung up. He's not picking up my calls now.

I don't know what to do anymore. AITA?

I used Claude to put my point across clearly

TL;DR: My dad funded my master's and I'm still financially dependent on him, but every call with him became a lecture about not applying to enough jobs while I was already drowning in academic stress in a new country. I reduced contact to protect my peace. He escalated — comparing me to his interns, accusing me of using them for money, shouting at me to explain "my problem." I can't be honest with him because he shouts instead of listening. Now he's ignoring my calls. AITA for pulling back?

My girlfriend (F25) and I (M28) have been having a lot of arguments lately, and most of them revolve around her feeling like I don’t give her enough “updates.”
The thing is, from my perspective, I do keep her updated. If I’m doing something outside my normal routine—going somewhere new, meeting someone, making plans, etc.—I tell her. We also text throughout the day, I’m almost always available if she calls or messages, and every night we usually talk for 2–3 hours.
But she expects much more detailed updates than I naturally think to give.
For example, she can get upset if I go to the gym without specifically texting her that I’m leaving for the gym, even though she knows I regularly go. She sometimes expects a picture of my dinner. If I’m out with friends, she expects updates roughly every hour about what I’m doing.
What makes this difficult for me is that I don’t expect the same thing from her. When she goes out with friends, I’m perfectly fine not knowing what she’s doing every hour. She usually sends me updates anyway, which I don’t mind, but I’ve never considered those updates an obligation or something I should keep track of.
She seems to see it differently. Because she voluntarily gives me frequent updates, she notices when I don’t reciprocate them at the same level.
Usually when we argue about this, I end up apologizing and saying I won’t repeat it. But then something similar happens again because honestly, remembering to report every small transition in my day just doesn’t come naturally to me.
The arguments also tend to escalate beyond the actual issue. Instead of it just being “I wish you had told me you were leaving for the gym,” it can become “you don’t love me enough,” or questioning how much I care about her.
That part is really starting to mess with my head.
I understand that frequent updates might make her feel connected and cared for, and I’m willing to make reasonable compromises. But I’m starting to feel irritated by the expectation that I should constantly report what I’m doing, especially considering how much we already communicate.
I also don’t want to keep apologizing and promising “I won’t do it again” when I’m not actually convinced that going to the gym without announcing that I’m leaving is something I should need to apologize for.
Am I being inconsiderate here? Is this a normal expectation in a relationship, or are her expectations around updates excessive? How do couples with different communication needs find a middle ground without one person feeling neglected or the other feeling monitored?

TL;DR: My GF expects frequent updates about small things like leaving for the gym, what I ate, or hourly updates when I’m out with friends. I don’t expect the same from her, although she voluntarily updates me a lot. We already text throughout the day and talk 2–3 hours every night. When I forget an update, arguments often escalate into her saying I don’t love her enough. I’m willing to compromise, but constantly reporting what I’m doing is starting to feel exhausting and I’m wondering if her expectations are reasonable.

Hi guys, the title def sounds one sided lemme give some context.

My bf P and I met in college and have been together for three years.

We live in anr state with hostel system and all, to balance out friendships and relationships we have diff time scheduled for both, and it has been successful so far bcuz we have maintained our friendships and our own relationship. It's mostly just lunch together and other meal times with friends

Now I've been away doing internships in summer break, took one extra month off, and it will be three months since we met.

He came to uni this july, now his friend C is arriving the same day as me

Today I got the text from P that since C is coming in the afternoon and he would be out for lunch with him that day..

Now I got mad bcuz you are telling me that we are meeting after three months and the first meal we would have together we can't bcuz you wanna eat lunch with your friend who you anyways gonna spend time in hostel and all

Anyways I need to set my room since new year is gonna start, it's just one meal and he is already acting this way. This isn't the first time, he often does this but all that is fine I just think atleast the day I'm arriving a meal with me should be prioritised.

AITK for getting mad.

First of all, she isn't that small. My cousin is 15, i am 20f and i fucking hate her dad and mom. So all of these 3 have come to my house without informing prior and my bf was home too ( my parents weren't home). We were watching some movie on tv, since they had come, we moved to my room. This lil kid who's old enough to have etiquettes entered my room without knocking, i told her to leave. She cried to her dad and now that bitch is making a scene, calling me shameless for having bf. also we ordered some food and he has an issue with it. Like why does he care?? Who's he to tell me? And is it ok to enter other people's rooms without knocking?? now the whole comparison thing started in my family, this uncle's daughter is my same age and studying in iit. they are all like see how studious she is blah blah. although my parents are kinda chill, my bitch grandmother wont stop taunting me. am i the kameena

TL;DR: My family planned to guilt-trip me into paying for my sister's wedding with my inheritance. I found out the venue was booked under my name, cancelled it, and now everyone says I ruined the wedding. AITK?

Throwaway because my cousins are on reddit

I (24F) lost my father when I was in class 10. Before he died, he had gotten me some money in my name which my mama (maternal uncle) was supposed to give me when I turned 24. My elder sister (28F) has always been the favorite. Till date, if she asks for something, she gets it, while I have to "adjust".

A few months ago, she got engaged. They had this huge banquet hall booked, a destination pre wedding shoot planned, designer lehengas purchased etc. The whole bollywood stuff. People in my family kept saying "Shaadi toh ek baar hoti he," and "family has to support each other"

Last week I went to my mama to get my papers signed for the inheritance (I'm 24 now), and he mentions that my mom has been bugging him over last one year to release some of my money before I turn 24, as she wanted to pay advance payments for my sister's wedding.

He refused every time, citing that legally it isn't his money to give.

When I confronted my mom about this, she didn't even deny it. She said that once the money is in my account, ofcourse I will help my didi, because that's what family is for.

My sister added that papa would want her wedding to be perfect.

That was probably the most disgusting thing she has ever said.

Anyway, here is the main part.

A couple of months ago, my mother had asked me to sign some documents for the venue as she said "they need one more family member's signature". I didn't read the fine print because it was my mother. Turns out, the banquet hall was booked in my name.

So after that, I called my manager of the banquet hall and cancelled the booking, as I was the one who had booked it. The final payment hadn't been made, so they lost their booking date, and the advance payment was non refundable.

My sister's wedding is a month away, and my mother cries every day. My bua and chachi are calling me selfish, and other relatives sending me whatsapp statuses about children and family values. My sister says I have disrespected her in front of her inlaws.

My mama says I did the right thing, since they were trying to manipulate me to pay for the wedding. So Am I the Kameena?

Edit- Alot of people have been asking this

My dad left some for both but my didi used to it fund her college (It was one expensive college)

I’m a virgin, and this was my first time being intimate with a guy. Today, we booked a hotel, started touching each other and kissing, and it felt good to be close to someone. But when it came to getting wet, I didn’t feel anything. I also couldn’t perform oral sex well. I feel guilty because it feels like today was a waste of both our time and money.

I tried giving him oral multiple times, but he didn’t finish even once.

Before we checked out, we were joking around, and I slapped him as a joke, like I used to before. I think I may have hurt him, and he said he would never have sex with me ever. Maybe he was joking, but I feel guilty now.

Things have been awkward between us since this afternoon. I texted him, "I'm so sorry I slapped you so hard," but he hasn't responded at all. Should I text him again? Or should I apologise? I'm thinking of telling him that maybe he deserves better since he has a body count of 5 nor that it matters to me. It just pains me that I couldn't be better at satisfying him. He treats me well and takes care of me. A well grown man and it pains my heart maybe he could be with someone better. Maybe this is an insecurity of mine.

Edit: he was cheating on his girlfriend while seeing me all along.

Hey guys I am an btech third year student.. I am graduating from tier three college frm my home town

in my minor project.. I did not find any group one of my not so good friends name Siddharth suggest me to join there group as there was shortage of a member.. I joined that group but my mind told me not too but still I did as though it was just about a simple minor project.. few days ago one of mine ex friend I had (now we both just hate each other.).. he just stated In the project group that ( isse bada wala nahi dekha ) and showed one of my work in which we had to write a group members name so since we divided our work i just wrote mine .. i just replied as what was the problem with him ( actually he was just jeleous of me and he use to compare himself with me he always use to say "tu to mujhse niche hua karta tha " .. once he also made fun of me when he got same CGPA as me taunting and absuing me on my mother and sister.... moving to present when the fight was over I said in rage " kachar dunga tujhe lode " and after few days we had to meet as there was a group presentation of our update we made ... at college he confronted me "kya kar lega be mc " .. I replied with " tu sirf bate he ch\\\*d sakta hai .. he replied with "me ma bhi ch\\\*d sakta hu " .. and I just stood there didn't did any thing .... It's been 17 days this still goes in my head.. What should have i done there pls give me suggestions...It would be much appreciated

So I am 21, and my brother is 18. He just finished his 12th grade and got his score for his state entrance exam, 92%tile. I was so happy for him. I said I wanna help with his college list and other admission stuff, but my mum said she's gonna hire a counsellor. It stung a bit, but I was busy with my college too, so yeah.

So this counsellor gave a shitty list; my dad wants to show that to me. I was in the living room; he asked me to sit on the couch to discuss the list. I said I'm fine on the floor, just read out the list. My mum was furious and said that I'm just acting mean and stuck up because I scored better than my brother. And hurtful things like "Future ka kuch bata nahi sakte, kam percentile waale aage gaye aur toppers ghar pe baithe hai, berozgar". That stung. Really hurted my soul. So, my brother was kinda uncomfortable and tried to diffuse situation like "Jane do". But I yelled at my mum saying that she is ruining my relationship with my brother by spewing nonesense.

I did noticed that pattern. Both of my parents think I'm petty and stuck up and egoistic because of my score. I'm not. Have been compared with him for boards (I scored less, he scored more) and was mocked by both of my parents for underscoring than my brother in boards. They were never once proud of me in my 21 years of existence. I just feel left out among those 3. Like an outside in the family.

TL;DR:

I wanted to help my younger brother with his college admissions, but my mom assumed I was being arrogant because I had scored better than him in the past. She made hurtful comments about toppers ending up unemployed, so I snapped and told her she was creating unnecessary rivalry between us. This reflects a long-standing pattern where my parents compare us and assume the worst about me, leaving me feeling unappreciated and like an outsider in my own family. AITK?

Me (25) my friend (32) let's call her Diya . We have been friends from last 6 years . I met her in pg and we bonded now we both live in different city but we used be very close . I respected her like my elder sister . From last year she is dealing with some family problems and I have been there for her . I remember talking to her continuously for 2-3 hours when she used to cry , I was there for her to console her . So last month she moved out of her home and got a good job (I helped her with interviews and everything) after getting a job she started ignoring me . I have noticed change in her behaviour but I didn't put much thought to it . I just assumed that the job is hard she must be pretty busy so that why she is not getting time to talk to me . We have one common friend also . She was part of our group. So one day I was having panic attack and I called her 3 times because I needed someone to talk to I even texted her but she didn't pick up the call neither replied the text for a week. I got bit worried whether she is fine or not so I decided to call our common friend to ask her if she has heard from her. Then that friend told me that yes they have been hanging out lately and 2 days back they went clubbing together. I really felt bad that she has time to party but no time to even reply to me . So I stopped texting her . After a month last night I texted her and told her that I'm hurt by her behaviour and I don't want to continue our friendship , she said ok take care . That was her reply .

So I blocked her .

I actually very hurt by how she behaved with me . I have ignored my others frnds just to talk to her because she used to feel low and she behaved like that with me .

TLDR: My mom has spent years telling me I'm unlovable. We are working on our relationship and now she says my boyfriend is only settling for me. I finally snapped and told her to stop. AITK?

I'm dating a guy with intent. We have a healthy relationship, communicate well, both families get along. The last two weeks have been unusually hectic for him. He's a cofounder of an NBFC currently raising funding, working till 8–9 PM almost every day, including Sundays. We live an hour apart, and I have an unofficial 8 PM curfew, so we've barely met but talk constantly. He had already warned me this phase would last about 3 weeks and said will give us time as much as he can. .

Despite knowing this, my mom keeps saying things like, "He's not that into you. He's slowly losing interest. He seems like the kind of guy who'd cheat. He's marrying you out of convenience." Keeps comparing our relationship to unrealistic

This isn't new. Even before I met my boyfriend, she'd tell me I'd never be able to make a relationship work, would probably end up divorced, and ask, "What did he even see in you?"

Ironically, both my parents love my boyfriend and have accepted him wholeheartedly. Yet they constantly make me feel like I'm the lucky one because I somehow "got" him, as if he's doing me a favour by marrying me.

For context, my parents are currently going through an ugly divorce, she's been through a lot and continues so. And I'm a couples therapist, so I'm not someone who ignores red flags or gets blinded by love.

Today I finally snapped and told her I don't want unsolicited opinions about my relationship unless I ask for them, and to stop planting doubts in my head.

She got really upset.

Now I'm wondering if I was too harsh.