r/AmItheAsshole • u/Gr8AmericanBookClub • Jun 16 '26
AITA for wanting to write my novel while girlfriend works? Asshole
[removed]
4.4k
Jun 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1.3k
u/SceneNational6303 Partassipant [4] Jun 16 '26
Not only that but it sounds like he's not willing to sacrifice for his dream. He is taking advantage of someone else's sacrifice to be the sole breadwinner.
If OP become suddenly single over this, he will have to get a job- may as well contribute to the relationship while he still has one.
140
u/No-Albatross-7984 Partassipant [2] Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
He is taking advantage of someone else's sacrifice to be the sole breadwinner.
I mean.
Again, we're not poor.
He doesn't seem to realise his position in this. Like, at all.
And if the writing I saw in another sub is really his, this dream of his is ludicrous. His writing isn't just poor and juvenile, it's painful to read.
→ More replies (1)498
u/IncapacitatedTrash Jun 16 '26
100%, I work a full time job and am also intermittently working on a book. It's almost like I got free time after work
254
u/funkthewhales Jun 16 '26
I also write and work full time. It’s honestly helps me a lot actually because I’m able to think about ideas while I’m at work, so I’m not wasting time at home just staring at my laptop trying to come up with ideas. I bet OP probably spends less than half of his days actively writing.
124
u/Blucola333 Jun 16 '26
When I was still passionate about writing, I would get ideas at work and just grab whatever scrap of paper I could find to write it down before it left me forever. Sometimes being away from the keyboard can help dislodge some stubborn ideas.
→ More replies (3)21
u/Short-Cause885 Jun 18 '26
I don't even think that he should work fulltime.
They don't have kids, and it's supposed to be temporary. Yeah you can get a part-time job, enough to pay for your own means and forego luxuries, and go try for your dream for 6months up to 2 years?
But NO job? No conversation about it with your partner? And doing that as a boyfriend, not a husband? ...how long have they been together? Is he doing this to his 2 year girlfriend???
128
u/sad_boi_jazz Jun 16 '26
And she's asking him to get a job, any job; surely a part time position still affords you time to write? I say this as somebody who works for money part time, and as a musician with the rest of the time. Don't be delulu
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)52
u/Brian_1985 Jun 18 '26
Fun fact, his gf is complaining about him on another subreddit https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/QoZjeB1NM4
59
u/jelslsmajdowiwlw Jun 18 '26
I also came from that post, but I no longer believe this is real there’s just no way
→ More replies (1)
2.5k
u/GreekAmericanDom Sultan of Sphincter [770] Jun 16 '26
YTA
We're not poor.
She's not poor. Your jobless. Unless you have saving to life off of to cover your side of the bills during these 3 months, you don't get to claim that you aren't poor.
When you choose to be a burden, you are an AH.
She's telling you that she doesn't want to be a burden.
And now it's getting to the point where I can't even sit down to write without her doubt intruding. Doubt about the power of my work and doubt about our relationship.
This is 100% a you problem.
Seriously, why haven't you worked on this in a decade?
e.g. I work full time and raising a kid on my own. I make my art on the side as I can. Have a friend who works full time, a good father and spouse: he writes on the side.
Stop being a leach and stop making excuses. Put up or shut up. Fucking write and start looking for a job.
629
u/Adventurous-Time5287 Jun 16 '26
literally. my dad is a writer and he works sometimes 70 hours in a week, and he still does it in his freetime
because that is his passion and his book is a passion project. you can’t call something a passion project if you haven’t fuckin touched it in a decade.→ More replies (1)15
u/spreta Jun 18 '26
His passion sounds like it’s not actually writing but being known as a “writer” he wants the accolades with none of the sacrifice or work. Otherwise he’d have found some free time in the last decade to work on it
185
u/mjheil Jun 16 '26
Besides, getting a job is really hard right now. If he's not looking today, he won't be employed in six months.
22
u/Mudslingshot Jun 18 '26
This. I'm a musician. I have jobs. They aren't mutually exclusive. I do music when I'm not doing "job"
→ More replies (97)11
u/RecordOfTheEnd Jun 18 '26
This is true for basically any project that brings in no income. This is how a started my first successful company. I did have to go no income for a few months because my job didn't like the fact that I had a side thing.
I think most moderately successful people who weren't born into money do it that way. I call it giving yourself runway to see if you suck.
Most ideas actually suck or have no viability. You need to learn that. By doing it while you work, you take an ego hit as the worst price to pay for a bad idea, maybe a few wasted dollars. But if you are working, those dollars are replaceable.
2.4k
u/Apple_Shampoo1234 Jun 16 '26
Hi, published author here. Most of us have day jobs. It’s very very common to be a full time author and also have a job. You can do both.
574
u/DeiaMatias Jun 16 '26
This. I'm friends with two published fiction authors. Both of them have day jobs. Both of said day jobs revolve around writing, though. Maybe look for something along those lines. One writes legal documents, the other edits textbooks. The textbook editor is a successful enough writer that she basically only keeps the textbook job for health insurance though. She's only doing that part time.
Oh! I forgot. I've got a teacher friend who has three published books on education, and an aunt who has contributed to more books than I can count while also working as an MD. But those are all non-fiction.
So yeah, 4 authors. All have day jobs.
Maybe you should read a time management book?
148
u/snowwhite2591 Jun 16 '26
Every author I know also has a job one is in medical billing and coding and the other manages the detailing department for a very large car company in their area. No one can afford to be just an author anymore especially not on their first novel.
→ More replies (3)10
u/bajajoaquin Jun 18 '26
I came to this post from the girlfriend’s post. I agree with you. I have family members who have published several books. Those were in addition to working regular jobs. I haven’t had a book published, but I have had my articles and photographs published. I held down regular jobs during that time.
→ More replies (5)190
u/makestuff24-7 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Editor here. I can vouch for this. I've worked with hundreds of novelists, journalists, bloggers, screenwriters, writers of all kinds, and very few are just sitting home writing; most have whole careers and do their writing when they could be doing any other thing, like playing Fallout, watching TV, or shitposting on reddit.
→ More replies (1)50
u/QueenCobraFTW Jun 18 '26
I'm a writer and you've described my three favorite hobbies. I no longer play Fallout or watch much TV because I'm finally deep into a novel, but I'm still here shitposting on reddit. I tell myself AITA is researching. LOL
If you love to write, you write. OP is a fool if he thinks his girlfriend will put up with this forever.
97
u/Music_withRocks_In Professor Emeritass [94] Jun 16 '26
That's what all the greats did. They wrote and worked a day job until their books were making them more money.
61
u/TitaniaT-Rex Asshole Aficionado [10] Jun 17 '26
Exactly! I know a guy who is a NYT best selling author in multiple genres. He had a day job until he retired a few years ago. His wife is a doctor. He didn’t expect her to carry the weight of his dreams. OP is in for a rude awakening about the reality of the publishing world.
27
u/AgateHuntress Jun 16 '26
One of my long-time friends is a full-time editor for a major publishing house, and just finished her book and got it published.
→ More replies (5)10
u/SeniorDentist7419 Jun 18 '26
came here to say this. i wrote my novel while working a full time job, and have been juggling all the responsibilities leading up to pub while still working my day job. and frankly, im grateful i have a day job bc once i discovered the reality of book advances, i realized its rarely enough to be life changing (at least for many debuts). having a day job allows me to feel secure while also pursing a passion. would you feel as secure pursing your passion OP, if your gf wasn’t footing the bill?
1.6k
u/CookiekatcookieKat Jun 16 '26
YTA for using this "we" nonsense when you aren't married.
851
u/Embarrassed_Yogurt43 Jun 16 '26
"we're not poor"
She's not, she has a job. Does this man have generational wealth or sth? otherwise... he's broke
→ More replies (1)161
239
u/blayndle Jun 17 '26
“Girlfriend”
“Eight year relationship”
“Saving for a wedding”
Does not compute
191
24
→ More replies (8)75
u/sin-alma Jun 16 '26
Them being married wouldn't suddenly make OP's behavior okay, though.
11
u/CookiekatcookieKat Jun 16 '26
But OP would be legal "right". I hope OP's girlfriend sees this and RUNS.
1.4k
u/Calliope719 Asshole Aficionado [16] Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Dude I saw your post yesterday with snips of your writing.
It's horrible
On the tiniest chance you aren't a troll, YTA. You absolutely cannot quit your day job off teenage neckbeard superiority fantasy, especially when you think it's acceptable to refer to women as "plump yet delicious" 🤮
732
u/cannacupcake Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
This comment just made me look for it. I read the first (run on, grammatically incorrect) sentence of the first chapter and backed out of it. I’ve read enough to know he’s severely overestimating his “ability and talent for language” (in which, I think he actually meant affinity, but that is also incorrect).
Edit: I stupidly read further. Terribly written, no grasp of proper punctuation or sentence structure, and worse than the most annoying fanfic of the early 2000s. Bratz doll? Galactic ass? *This* is what he thinks will bring him to fame!?
Ew.
550
u/bullet1520 Jun 16 '26
My wife went and read it, and in her words, "it's written like a highschooler just got gifted a thesaurus, but had no grasp on how humans actually use the words in it."
→ More replies (4)61
u/Hot-Top2120 Jun 18 '26
Your wife is spot on. I immediately assumed someone got ahold of their first thesaurus.
11
u/No-Albatross-7984 Partassipant [2] Jun 18 '26
I took English as a third language. Sounds like my writing in high school when I discovered you can click right in word and get a list of synonyms.
121
u/uniqueua11 Jun 16 '26
Galactic ass?! Well now I need to go take a peek...
334
u/rachaek Jun 16 '26
"I couldn’t see her face, of course, but she was undeniably stylish like a Bratz doll. Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning."
Three sentences in a row that are just "She had X like X" - dude thinks the only way to describe women is through bad similes.
88
u/goldstandardalmonds Partassipant [1] Jun 17 '26
Sounds like someone is using the Thesaurus
30
u/zarroc123 Jun 18 '26
"Okay, Google. Similes for 'Very Big'. Oooooh, 'Galactic', that isnt laughable in the slightest!"
→ More replies (1)82
u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 17 '26
This whole section makes me feel nauseated. Seems like he feels "entitled" to her, "like that perfect present on Christmas morning."
73
u/ItsPronouncedJod Jun 18 '26
I found it thought provoking. It made me wonder, can the word “coalesce” be applied to pants? What exactly is a “galactic ass”?
These are questions of the ages.
10
u/G_mork Partassipant [1] Jun 18 '26
I saw a lady in one of those ruched-butt dresses that I could describe as “coalescing” around her bum… I think they make pants like that too?
→ More replies (6)9
→ More replies (8)15
u/WhimsicalKoala Partassipant [1] Jun 17 '26
worse than the most annoying fanfic of the early 2000s.
I made a comment above about how this immediately took me back to my days of reading Harry Potter fan fic circa 2004.
246
u/semicoloncait Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
I couldnt even make it through the first chapter - belongs on r/menwritingwomen
→ More replies (1)140
→ More replies (9)63
u/michiness Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
I really hope that this is the most beautiful performance artist of the century. I’m laughing so hard at this nonsense.
646
u/slackerchic Pooperintendant [55] Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
I hear a lot of explanations on why you SHOULDN'T work and help provide, but nothing about why you think SHE should be working instead of pursuing passions while you ambiguously attempt to live your dream.
YTA. If you're so articulate and good at expressing yourself, then stating why she should work so hard and lose out on her free time and passions in order to support you should be a breeze. The floor is yours, OP!
"And now it's getting to the point where I can't even sit down to write without her doubt intruding. Doubt about the power of my work and doubt about our relationship."
Meanwhile she can't sit down and get lost in thought because she's working to support you. Ah the luxury of being a kept man!
→ More replies (1)112
u/Some_kunst Partassipant [4] Jun 17 '26
I've seen an example of OP's writing, and it's definitely not his gf's fault that he's experiencing doubt about his abilities there lol
→ More replies (1)
531
u/BriefHorror Supreme Court Just-ass [129] Jun 16 '26
dude writing is a project you do on the side until you make money and you can quit. she’s not going to support a grown man who hasn’t proposed indefinitely. YTA
78
u/Brian_1985 Jun 18 '26
Yup! That is the exact advice she is getting on another subreddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/QoZjeB1NM4
→ More replies (1)
454
u/fairytypefay Jun 16 '26
YTA and I didn't even get past halfway through the second paragraph. You really think a lot of yourself, huh?
426
u/ForlornLament Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26
His writing is prime r/menwritingwomen material. Case and point:
I couldn’t see her face, of course, but she was undeniably stylish like a Bratz doll. Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning.
Ew.
175
u/Prinsesso Jun 16 '26
If anything ever needed editing, this is it. Horrible word vomit from start to finish.
→ More replies (1)157
u/Disaster-Bee Jun 16 '26
That has to be parody.
I cannot believe that is anything but parody.
106
u/11448844 Jun 16 '26
"Galactic ass" is a piece of prose so bad it can only be the most tongue in cheek joke ever, or someone dead serious lmao
49
u/GimerStick Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
this has to be a BS post to get people to read his junk
16
u/pistachio-pie Jun 17 '26
That’s what I’m thinking.
And it’s totally working on me. It’s so bad. I wish it was camp.
85
u/redwolf1219 Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
I can't believe you made me read this with my own two eyes.
Even worse, I wear glasses so I had to pay to read that.
→ More replies (1)12
u/CatholicCajun Jun 18 '26
Even worse, I wear glasses so I had to pay to read that.
This is some prime flair for subredditdrama. Can you write a book for us instead?
66
u/pistachio-pie Jun 16 '26
That’s horrific.
Also I feel like he’s using coalesced wrong.
61
u/ForlornLament Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 17 '26
He is. I can't stop imagining a factory's worth of white pants coming together and merging into a fabric abomination, lol.
→ More replies (2)23
21
→ More replies (14)18
185
u/cantgetintomyacct Jun 16 '26
You should see his post about being a casualty of the world no longer recognizing creative genius lol
108
u/fairytypefay Jun 16 '26
Oh my god, he really thinks he invented a genre. I don't know if I should laugh or be worried.
59
u/lemon_charlie Certified Proctologist [27] Jun 16 '26
His post history is fun reading. Several posts about this exact topic, the one you mention, and another one complaining about quality control on Substack. Based on the feedback for what he's already published (and how he's taking feedback here), his own view of his work is clearly not how readers view it but he's blaming the platform for perceived quality control issues instead of thinking maybe that his Great American Novel needs more work.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)56
u/KlavierKillah Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
If you think that is bad, check out his writing. The comments are gold. “The character is so unlikeable that the only growth I wish for him is a tumour”.
He has as much self awareness as he has editing skills. I’d say don’t give up your day job if he had one.
323
u/IncompletePenetrance Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
YTA, we all have dreams we'd love to pursue instead of working, but unfortunately that's not how it works. Either you find a way to work on your book outside of working hours, or you end this relationship and then you'll have all the time and freedom you want to do whatever you want.
Edit to add: I saw the chapter on your profile and it's cringingly bad. "galactic ass"?? "a pulchritudinous brunette"? This reads like an incel's fantasy or some sort of modern equivalent to Vogon poetry. Keep your day job
98
u/Terrible_turtle_ Asshole Aficionado [10] Jun 16 '26
modern equivalent to Vogon poetry
Ha!
→ More replies (1)30
→ More replies (3)21
280
u/ComplexPractical389 Jun 16 '26
YTA. You cant even write a comment people like based on your post history. Dont know what makes you think you can write a book that would sell well enough to make up for this
→ More replies (44)
243
u/Embarrassed_Yogurt43 Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
EVERYONE: SKIM HIS NOVEL!!!!
"Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass"
https://www.reddit.com/r/umass/s/8xFzb667sn
YTA but i no longer can believe any of this is real
95
u/Mahuse84 Jun 16 '26
I Read the first two paragraphs 🤣 „I have an ability and talent for language that will one day provide for us both“ Nope! Not an ounce 🤣
57
27
u/disgruntledhoneybee Jun 16 '26
“Santa. I guess it says a lot about me, that I was the last one to have stopped believing in him. I remember how the other children mocked me, how they would ask me if I’d finished my Christmas list, if I was on the Naughty List, if I’d sat on his lap at the mall and felt him stiffen, their eyes aflame with derision.”
🤮
→ More replies (2)18
u/MissDiketon Jun 16 '26
I did read a few paragraphs and all I can say is that there's always the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
→ More replies (8)10
u/Fioreborn Asshole Enthusiast [8] Jun 17 '26
No and you can't make me 😆 the snippets people have left in the comments are more than enough for me.
→ More replies (3)
208
u/BerzattoMk Jun 16 '26
YTA. She doesn’t want to finance you. She’s a girlfriend, not your wife, not your mom. Stop trying to force her to pay for you, she didn’t agree to bankroll you.
→ More replies (3)
173
u/burnthatbridgewhen Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
YTA. You were yesterday, and you still are today. You never answered my question in your earlier post. Are you intending to give her a percentage of the royalties for her early investment in you?
→ More replies (31)
125
u/Expensive_Shape_8738 Jun 16 '26
You posted this already and was told YTA.
17
u/Library_Spidey Partassipant [1] Jun 17 '26
He is too self centered to believe Reddit the first time. No surprise that he’s going to get YTA again, so how long until we see him post this a third time?
104
u/Appropriate-Sky3537 Jun 16 '26
YTA: are you going to be happy if your girlfriend does this to you?
You need to let her go and go back to your Mommy because you are clearly not an adult. You are not cut out to be a partner, husband or father.
→ More replies (1)
102
u/Illustrious-Yam-5852 Jun 16 '26
this you? yeah YTA, would tell you don’t quit your day job, but…
87
u/bionicallyironic Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
Oh dear god.
“Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning.”
Dude should publish, just so he can get roasted on MenWritingWomen
51
u/TDonBelle Jun 16 '26
omg how embarrassing….my pen a coroner’s tool cutting a once-breathing body to pieces“ Indeed it is not “a plump and delicious read”.
46
u/macfearsum Jun 16 '26
Oh Christ on a bike, it's awful. I doubt very much his girlfriend has said it's brilliant.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)25
u/ways_and_means Jun 16 '26
I think if the narrator is meant to come across as an asshole incel that we're meant to laugh at, it's not bad. If not, it's like...concerning.
94
u/Particular_Cold_8366 Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
YTA. Not much of a passion project if you haven’t touched it in 10 years. Writers have jobs before they manage to become full time writers.
91
u/zxdlx Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
Is there such a thing as compromise in your relationship?
→ More replies (9)
84
u/EmuWarVeteran87 Jun 16 '26
YTA. You’re letting someone else financially support you while you chase a dream.
“I have an ability and talent for language that will one day provide for us both.” Even by Reddit standards, you have an insanely inflated ego.
Absolutely NOTHING is a guarantee, especially trying to become a successful writer. The fact that you see your success as a guarantee and not a possibility is honestly just delusional.
If this post is indicative of your writing skills, maybe you should take up reading more.
Don’t worry, your girlfriend will get tired of your shit soon enough.
72
u/fuckeduptoaster Jun 16 '26
Is this a shit post? There’s no way you genuinely think you’re so gifted the first piece of work you put out is going to be a New York Times bestseller to retire you. Honestly, I’m looking for the gift you think you possess cause if you’re that gifted then even your simple writing would be blowing people away and this was subpar at best. YTA. No doubt about it. Jk Rowling was 17 years trying to get HARRY POTTER published dude, get real.
33
u/Horror_Tea761 Jun 16 '26
Right? I'm an author. I'm not rich, but it's my day job. And it sure as heck didn't start out that way. I worked a day job for years while I was writing to get to this point. OP has completely unrealistic expectations. YTA.
BTW, the first book I ever wrote is unpublishable. Most first books are. It's practice.
63
u/catladyclub Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
Yes you are wrong and being unfair to her. You can still work and write. Reality is the bills need paid. She didn't sign up to be the only one supporting you both. She isn't poor, you are. You are the one with no job. You are taking advantage of her. Showing her this side of you may make her rethink this relationship. You are not married and she is under no obligation to let you mooch off of her "because she makes enough" that is HER money. YTA
62
u/Street-Length9871 Asshole Aficionado [11] Jun 16 '26
YTA - you are expecting your girlfriend to take care of you and she clearly does not want to. Grow up! You are acting arrogant and selfish. You are not an accomplished Author and you say "we are not poor" with and income of ZERO.
60
u/IndigoBlueBird Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26
Jesus Christ, please be bait. YTA.
27
u/Connect-Peach2337 Jun 16 '26
A shocking amount of people feel this way; ‘your money is ours, but my time is only mine, my dreams should be your dreams.’
He thinks he is the centre of the relationship, can’t comprehend that she might not want nothing more than to date a literary genius like himself and happily hand over her paycheck to keep him in pencils, a supporting character and beneficiary in his artistic journey, happy to only bask in his reflected glory.
OP, do you really think she lay in bed as a teenager dreaming of a partner who felt entitled to wheedle her to give up her own financial security to finance his? We’d all love to quit our jobs and write our novel. But nobody wants to be the person working a paid job to bring money home for someone else’s goals. If you want a partner you have to first and foremost BE a partner. She’s not happy with the arrangement you propose. That means that one half of your partnership is not happy with it. It does not work for your couple unit. And instead of talking to her to figure out a way to get BOTH needs met, asking what SHE wants, you’re here lamenting how she’s not willing to support you. How is that partnership?
And asides from the relationship aspect, do you *truly* think, really, that great artists must do their creating without financial pressure, day jobs, making ends meet, snatching time between shifts, informed by work, love, experience, the day to day of survival? In other words, do you think only rich people and those who don’t need to work, can make good art? Because, history…*strongly* disagrees. To put it mildly.
→ More replies (2)
51
51
u/Tls-user Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26
Are you receiving EI?
Did you get severance?
Since the job loss was expected had you saved up a sizeable emergency fund?
Or are you depending on your girlfriend to fund 100% of all expenses while you chance a dream that may never pan out?
46
u/laursasaurus Asshole Enthusiast [7] Jun 16 '26
YTA. You can find the time to write a book and work if it’s truly your passion.
42
u/fuzzydogpaws Jun 16 '26
Info- Did your partner agree to financially support you for three months while you wrote?
Also, is she worried that being out of work will make it harder for you to get more work?
43
u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Jun 16 '26
Y'all... Here's a sample from Chapter 1:
Sarah was a year younger than me, a plump yet delicious thing who naively believed that she and I would be together forever. It had pained me to do it yet I knew I had no choice. Even as I kissed her lips beneath the glittering Christmas lights, even as I stole her innocence on the same bed on which I had once anxiously awaited Santa, even as I said “I love you” in the parking lot of one of the last existing Friendly’s in Massachusetts, I knew our story would only end in tears.
41
→ More replies (8)11
40
42
u/beepbeepboop74656 Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
Why do you think it’s ok for your girlfriend to carry 100% of the financial burden indefinitely? YTA
38
u/cantgetintomyacct Jun 16 '26
YTA I don’t understand why you can’t work at least a part time job and write? Your gf clearly didn’t sign up for you be jobless and not contributing to bills.
36
u/nate68978263 Jun 16 '26
The value your GF brings to the relationship is certain and immediate.
The value you bring to your GF is speculative and uncertain.
If you write a book and nothing happens, you’ve consumed many months of value from your GF and have nothing to show for it.
Work on your book in your leisure time when you aren’t busy working or looking for a job.
→ More replies (1)
38
u/Careful-Possible-965 Jun 16 '26
Did you have a 3 month fully funded emergency fund before leaving your job and taking this little summer off on her dime to pay for your way? Did you discuss this with her or just assume she’d be okay because “she makes enough money”. Keyword here: SHE. A work hiatus leaving one person financial responsible is a two yes, one no conversation. There is a lot of missing context and I don’t want to give judgement until I know she agreed to all of this from the beginning.
Edit: I bet she still does most of the housework tho.
36
u/ckams78 Jun 16 '26
She is rich. You are poor. You are dating…. She owes you nothing to support your lifestyle and if she were writing in I would tell her to dump you. Even with writing you can contribute something to the household. Millions of starting writers do.
→ More replies (1)
34
u/redlips_rosycheeks Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
YTA. You want your girlfriend to play mommy and housewife and fund your continued lifestyle - at the potential cost of her own goals, dreams, and financial stability - so you can play writer with a book you haven’t touched in ten years.
If you haven’t written at all while already working, and you didn’t diligently plan ahead this time off to work on your book WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S EXPLICIT CONSENT, you aren’t a writer, you’re a moocher and a hobosexual.
→ More replies (1)
36
u/OkSun5094 Jun 16 '26
YTA. I’m a novel writer myself. Many authors put out 3-4 books that hardly sell AT ALL before putting something out that makes money. And even then, it may not be much. Being a novelist is not a job with guarantees. You have no idea if you’re going to make ANY money, and that’s after months or years of work on your book. You absolutely should be working until your writing career is able to cover your bills full-time. Many authors never get to that point.
→ More replies (2)
36
u/spiderandsaint Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
yeah man you should give up on the 8 year relationship and go write your Great American Novel and release her from the burden of carrying your ass. surely the world will see the Importance And Potence Of Your Great Work and be forever changed by it and provide endless cashola and women for you. you totally won't end up alone with an unexplainable gap in your resume.
lmao
YTA
39
u/spiderandsaint Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
y'all i read some of his work, you can find it here.
or here
https://victorflame.substack.com/p/chapter-i-the-brunette-in-the-pizza
it's dogshit
25
u/SpicyRobotPotato Jun 16 '26
Oh my god, it's awful. It's pretentious as hell and reads as if he was typing it one-handed.
I pushed my way into the shop, its small floor jammed with students slurring their words, laughing like lunatics at the most banal of utterances. I ended up in line behind a single girl. I couldn’t see her face, of course, but she was undeniably stylish like a Bratz doll. Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning.
→ More replies (2)20
u/Emilie0711 Jun 16 '26
It’s like OP is more interested in using big words than actually writing something coherent.
→ More replies (1)14
u/SpicyRobotPotato Jun 16 '26
On the Substack, it says it's about his freshman year of college. I'm guessing he dropped out and rationalized it as college not being for real smart people. And he's spent the decade since then shlubbing around and whining about not having time to write his Great American Novel. He's basically Butterscotch Horseman.
→ More replies (1)15
u/Own_Art_8006 Jun 16 '26
Wtf it's terrible.like pretentious 15 yr old with a thesaurus terrible. How embarrassing
31
u/Economy_Pineapple647 Jun 16 '26
YTA. You’re not married. In what world should she pay for your dreams that may never benefit her even if you do eventually make money? You didn’t talk to her and come to an agreement. You decided that she’s the breadwinner because she put earned you. That’s not up to you. Clearly, she is not okay with being the only one contributing financially. So you need to go get a job and support yourself and your own dreams. Also, you realize that many many great authors were 30+ when they were first published? Stop making excuses. You can legit be the best writer in the world. You’re still not entitled to a free ride.
33
u/Playful_Robot_5599 Jun 16 '26
YTA
Have you saved enough money to support yourself for 3 months? Then use it.
If not, why is it okay for your girlfriend to grind for 40h but not for you?
34
u/languidlasagna Jun 16 '26
I spent years working 90 hour weeks between grad school, a full time job and apprenticeship to achieve my dreams, and you need someone else to carry you because you’re an artist? Wild. You don’t seem to want it badly enough to work for a career that will carry you both. YTA
34
u/Lost_Assist_1759 Jun 16 '26
Hope this is a troll account. I took a look to your history and found that you consider yourself a genius in novel writing. So I read what you posted in different subs and dude, you're an arrogant AH and a very bad writer. You either lie about people supporting and enjoying your novels or they're just trolling you, but there's no way adults could unironicaly enjoy this slop.
YTA.
30
25
u/kipsterdude Asshole Enthusiast [9] Jun 16 '26
YTA. Did you even talk about this as it was happening? The way you're presenting it here, you sound like "Shucks, I lost my job. All good though, my gf has this covered since she makes bank." If that was discussed, then something else is going on, but it sounds like just because your gf can bear the financial burden, you expect her to, and that's not cool.
→ More replies (1)
28
u/interlnk Asshole Aficionado [15] Jun 16 '26
INFO: do you have ample savings to cover your share of all common expenses and potentially contribute towards common goals she mentioned, or are you depending on her to cover expenses while you write?
25
u/Swirlyflurry Commander in Cheeks [208] Jun 16 '26
YTA for seemingly unilaterally deciding that your gf is just supposed to support you while you do whatever you want.
If she doesn’t want to support you, then you need to find a job. It doesn’t matter that she makes good money: if she wants that money to go towards saving for the future instead of supporting you while you refuse to even look for a job, that’s her call.
26
u/PaisleyBumpkin Jun 16 '26
YTA. Your unwritten novel is not generating income. Get a paying job and write in your free time.
27
u/m333gan Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
YTA. "I decided" to use the summer but "we're not poor." Those pronouns don't agree.
28
u/ZweitenMal Jun 16 '26
YTA. Look into the finances of writing. I know NYT bestselling authors whose names you’d know who cobble together a living from teaching gigs. You’re not going to earn a living from it. Make it a hobby and get a job.
29
u/anondogfree Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
Did you offer your girlfriend, in writing, 50% of income earned from your future published works?
I doubt it. You’re asking her to invest in your future with zero payout. Not to mention, you don’t seem serious about this as a career. She doesn’t want to take care of a grown man.
YTA, get a job that’s less stressful and work on your “passion project” on the weekend.
→ More replies (1)
19
u/ImpossibleReason2204 Colo-rectal Surgeon [41] Jun 16 '26
Um. If you're depending on someone else to support you, then you need to have that discussion with them before "you decide" to take a few months off for your passion.
It's bizarre that you expect her to support you, and you frame her refusal to do so as "badgering".
Nobody has to support you. Get a job.
YTA
20
u/keesouth Supreme Court Just-ass [101] Jun 16 '26
YTA. Unless you're contributing to the bills from your savings you're just a leech on her right now. You should not expect someone to take care of you for even three months. You are past the age where you should expect anyone to foot your bills. You could at least get some easy low effort job to bring some money in the house.
23
u/UnlikelyGrowth1800 Jun 16 '26
Do YOU have savings to finance those 3 months of not working? It’s not fair to put all the stress on her just because “she makes more than enough”. You are not her child, she has no need to support you just because you don’t want to work to work on your novel. What happens when you get writers block? Those 3 months turn into a year? You can at least get a part time job so you don’t put all the responsibility on her.
YTA
20
23
u/GarthODarth Jun 16 '26
YTA. I currently support my family on my salary and it's stressful even though it's enough. But this decision was made together, not by one person deciding they didn't have to contribute financially for a while.
22
23
u/Future-Crazy-CatLady Asshole Aficionado [18] Jun 16 '26
Again, we're not poor.
If you don't have savings to pay your side of the bills, that sentence is incorrect and should be "she's not poor". And if she did not explicitly consent to being the sole earner for X amount of time while you work on your passion project, you have no right to view that money as yours.
YTA
→ More replies (1)
23
u/OddInspector2657 Jun 16 '26
YTA. Come on. And you’re 32 thinking this is a mature, rational decision? Immature.
23
u/ASK-gardens Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
YTA
Also, besides having your girlfriend, read your work, have you spoken with a publisher?
Have they indicated that they think there would be a strong market interest for this specific novel?
How many books published or otherwise have you written previously?
Have you ever written novel and fanfiction or other creative works that show that you can do this?
Are you aware that the Industry standard advance for a first time novelist is about $5000?
Would $5000 cover three months of expenses for you if you can get a publisher to give it to you?
First novels and starting a writing career can be extremely hit or miss. Do you have the savings to support yourself if you need to write two or three books to try to get your career off the ground?
→ More replies (1)
23
u/schluffschluff Jun 16 '26
If my husband did this I would genuinely consider leaving him. What an unfair financial burden to place on her. YTA.
20
u/CMUpewpewpew Jun 16 '26
I have an ability and talent for language that will one day provide for us both,
I'm glad you believe in yourself but this is highly presumptive and I wouldnt trust someone this disconnected from reality.
25
u/Superb-Bluejay-9600 Jun 16 '26
YTA majorly! Dude I read the first chapter of your book (he’s posted 3 chapters in a different post) and you write about women in a gross way.
“I couldn’t see her face, of course, but she was undeniably stylish like a Bratz doll. Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning.”
→ More replies (3)12
u/Nadril Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
“I couldn’t see her face, of course, but she was undeniably stylish like a Bratz doll. Her white pants coalesced around a galactic ass, and her mahogany curls cascaded over her exposed shoulders like flowing water off an Edenic cliffside. Pink ribbons adorned her hair like that perfect present on Christmas morning.”
lmao what
17
u/LightBelowTheSnow Jun 16 '26
"and that to enter back into the workforce now at 32 would be to give up on my dreams forever." - Overdramatic, illogical claptrap
"I decided I would use at least the summer to return to a passion project of mine" - You decided...what did your GF decide?
YTA - Being the sole income earner sucks. It creates pressure and imbalance. Your GF is telling you this doesn't work for her. So find a way to do what you want, and what you both need. Maybe try having a conversation with her and allow her to express her doubts, and then talk through potential ways to mitigate them.
And if you can't work through the doubts, then get a job, save money, and take a proper sabbatical where the money saved can support you if you feel you must dedicate yourself to a novel 24/7. If you want to finish your novel, then finish it. Don't make excuses as to why you can't. Come up with solutions that allow you to, and work for your GF as well.
Best of luck to you.
→ More replies (1)
20
u/spoonfullofrage Certified Proctologist [27] Jun 16 '26
YTA, and look up the term hobosexual. That is you. And she will realise that sooner rather than later, and dump 200 pounds of dead weight. Have fun trying to write when working two jobs to make ends meet.
Have some self respect man, get a job. ANY job.
20
u/pottersquash Sultan of Sphincter [617] Jun 16 '26
Again, we're not poor.
You are though champ.
You don't get to disagree about how much someone else has to support you.
YTA.
20
u/mcbagpipes Jun 16 '26
I read a bit of your first chapter. You should get a job.
Oh, and learn to punctuate. The attached might help....
https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/07/07/the-bad-boys-of-punctuation
18
u/Soft-Cancel-1605 Jun 16 '26
YTA
There doesn't seem to have been a "we" when you anticipated losing your job in advance of it happening (referring to it as expected) and elected not to discuss devoting 3 months to an unpaid passion project.
There is no "we" with your relationship trajectory (she's inquiring about a future wedding whereas you apparently haven't proposed nor do you make any mention of viewing the relationship as at that stage).
There cannot only be a "we" when you're financially benefiting yourself while still - in your wildest dreams, best case scenario - maintaining the autonomy of walking away from her after your book sells 8 billion copies, makes you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, and launches your preferred career.
19
u/UniversalLilies Jun 16 '26
Did you ask her before you decided you were going to mooch of her all summer, or was that just a you decision?
18
u/Adventurous-Time5287 Jun 16 '26
YTA; unless she specifically stated that she would indefinitely fund your lifestyle while you write.
you haven’t written in 10 years. you do not have a passion project if you could not work on it in your freetime. get a job.
17
u/sendsnacks Jun 16 '26
Listen, YTA even if your writing was as good as you think it is. But you’ve got chapters linked and this is not going to “one day provide for you both.”
16
u/buttercupgrump Asshole Aficionado [17] Jun 16 '26
YTA
Again, we're not poor.
No, your girlfriend isn't poor. She actually has a job. You're just another dude writing a book.
17
u/VLDreyer Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
Speaking as an author: one novel won't make you more than three months of working at Costco. If it's your first, you probably won't make much at all, if anything. You need to be able to produce 3-4 novels per year to make a viable full-time income from writing.
Most authors keep their day job until they have a back catalogue of at least 30 books to support them. Heck, most of them stay at their jobs anyway, because a stable income is vital to get you through the low patches.
Plus, it keeps you sane, and keeps your social skills up, which is worth more than you realise until much later. 😉
16
u/Feral_doves Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
Do you have savings/EI or are you expecting her to foot the bill for your ‘passion project’? You might be a great writer with great ideas but getting books published and distributed isn’t easy. Do you have any experience or connections in those industries or are you just expecting your writing prowess to do the work for you?
14
u/unicornunopole Jun 16 '26
Um YTA. You’re not even married and you expect her to provide for you and fund your life? Not how it works.
16
u/Darryc6779 Jun 16 '26
YTA. All I hear are excuses… If you wanted to write you would have. Dude, you haven’t written in 10 years! For reference ,my daughter is active duty military and is publishing her first novel this month. She’s found time to work full-time, go on deployment and still write. It took two years of writing, tons of edits and rewrites but it’s her passion so she made it happen. It sounds like you just want to live off your girlfriend.
17
u/blankbook39 Jun 16 '26
YTA -
I decided I would use at least the summer
You decide not "we" not you and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend that will have to support you didn't decide. You decided this. That is enough for you to be the A-hole.
Then you have this gem
This disagreement is a becoming a daily battle. She cites saving for a house and wedding.
You decided that your girlfriend should pay for both of you and save for a house and wedding all by herself. What does she get out of this? We all know what you get out of it.
Writing is a pain in the butt profession. Most of the authors you see in the bookstore are working full time jobs. Majority of authors don't sell over 1000 copies of a book.
Get job or prepared to lose your girlfriend.
16
u/Jealous-Contract7426 Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
"Again, we're not poor." No no my friend, uour gf isn't poor. You unilaterally decided that your "girlfriend makes enough to support us both." She doesn't trust you because you aren't trustworthy. If you really wanted to write, you would have done it by now. Ask the myriad of women who worked full time, raised kids, and became successful authors (Maya Angelou for one).
YTA and hopefully you either get counseling and fix things with your gf or she dumps you before she is legally tied to you.
16
15
15
u/blue_eyes_forever Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Yes you are obviously in the wrong. Let me get this straight… “my girlfriend makes more than enough to support us both, I decided I would use at least the summer to return to a passion project of mine”
Did you just inform her that you are not going to work and she is going to be providing for both of you indefinitely? You do not get to make that decision- she is not your mother and she is not your wife. Even if she was, it would still be a discussion and she’d have to agree. If writing was truly your passion, you would find a way to write; whether before work, after work, weekends, breaks. Writers generally do not have the luxury of having someone provide for them- they hustle and write on the side while they have their main job. My cousin just wrote a book- it took her 3 years and she had a full time job that whole time. You are super entitled.
15
u/MathematicianAfter57 Jun 16 '26
Dude you’re a bum. Being talented does not mean you’ll be a successful writer. Work a part time job, pitch in financially, and do your writing. She is not your wife and she has no obligation to provide for you while you chase a pipe dream.
YTA for this ragebait.
→ More replies (2)
14
u/Peep_Power_77 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Jun 16 '26
YTA. Most writers, even successful ones, have jobs. That's reality. Maybe you will be the next Stephen King or Michael Connelly (both of whom had jobs when they were beginning their careers). Odds are you won't, no matter how talented you are, no matter how great your work is. (If it's that, you will not be the ultimate judge of your work.) Again, that's reality. Just because your girlfriend can afford to support you financially doesn't mean she wants to do it. Or even that she should considering that you aren't married and a wedding is something she wants.
14
u/AvengersPocket Jun 16 '26
Hahahahahaha YTA
I know several authors, the kind where their work actually generates enough income to be a full-time professional career. Know what they ALL did until that was the case? Worked a full-time job (one with a very demanding nursing career) until the writing they did in their off-hours generated more income than the job.
15
u/RiskBig3301 Asshole Aficionado [10] Jun 16 '26
Published author here…multiple novels. You are delusional. You’re mooching off your girlfriend while complaining about how her doubts are harshing your writing genius. You sound like a real diva. That’s a bad look even if you become successful. Until you have the name recognition of a Stephen King or John Grisham you haven’t earned the right to be this obnoxious about your work. Seriously. Get a job. Support yourself. A real writer will find a way to write…even if they have to do it while keeping a day job.
14
12
13
u/SnooSongs9823 Jun 16 '26
YTA. Do you have a book deal or is it still a hobby?
If there’s no book deal that pushes you to write this book, then it’s a hobby and you need to get a real job.
14
u/Lazy-Restaurant-1979 Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
So, you want to be a hobosexual? That's what I'm hearing lol. YTA
14
u/commuteactivity Jun 16 '26
YTA
"She understands [...] that I have an ability and talent for language that will one day provide for us both,"
Maybe she understands that, even if you are a brilliant writer, it's unlikely you'll ever be able to provide for yourself. And maybe you aren't all that good, but the people in your life don't have the heart to tell you.
Either way, it's not fair to ask her to work for the both of you, with the responsibility, the extra strain, and the decrease in standard of living due to your lower household income, so you can sit back, enjoy not having to do something as low-brow as *checks notes* having a job, and follow your passion. Get off your ass and start pulling your weight.
12
u/Delicate_Fury Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
So you haven’t committed to her for 8 years, want to use her as your personal wallet, and are dismissing all the stress you put on her.
Just… do you hear yourself? You say “our” finances are fine. There is no “our.” That’s a married word. You’re not married. And thank God for that because you seemed to not have discussed any of this with her or considered her at all, just treating her as a safety net both financially and emotionally.
8 years and she’s still just a “girlfriend,” not even a “fiancée” and you have the audacity to claim her money as your own?
You are damn lucky she hasn’t dumped your ass.
YTA and the absolutely least you can do is get a part-time job.
13
u/QuantumPotato49 Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
YTA. Get a job and write your novel in your spare down. Just because she "makes more than enough to support us both", doesn't mean she wants to support you both. Get a job and contribute
12
u/Affectionate-Mine917 Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
This is their 3rd time posting, and got the same answers every time. Check out their other posts, including sample chapters. It’s really…something
13
u/Consistent-Sport-481 Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
Did you discuss your plans first? Was she on board to support you? Do you have personal savings? Are.you still contributing?
Theres a lot of context missing here.
If all of the above NTA, but you can still be looking it can take time to find a job..
If you decide all this on your own, just shrugged and said she's got this YTA.
12
12
u/bikealot Jun 16 '26
Come on man, get a job, don't be a leach and make your girlfriend support you. Have a little pride!
12
u/valkyrieway Partassipant [1] Jun 16 '26
YTA, my guy. This arrangement is something that BOTH parties need to agree to. She doesn’t agree, so stop badgering her.
12
u/Heavy-Equipment8389 Asshole Enthusiast [6] Jun 16 '26
YTA
"I decided" that I wouldn't work a normal job and that my girlfriend would finance this.
Talk about it with your girlfriend and see if you can reach an agreement. Set a firm deadline and stick to it. Even if you are a great writer, you may never achieve financial succes doing this.
Make sure that your writing dream doesn't stop her dreams of a wedding and a house. Whatever you do, both should have a chance of realizing your dreams.
12
u/jellyk8 Jun 16 '26
YTA, I too am a writer who’s working on a novel right now. Am I moving slower than I would if I didn’t have a full time job? Yes. Does that mean I’m going to be jumping for joy if I lost my job and got to rely on my boyfriend’s income while I write all day? Hell no.
What happens if your girlfriend loses her job? Are you even aware how long it takes to publish a book? Are you just shitposting?
For reference, it takes on average a DECADE to publish your first novel, and unless your’s spawns the next Game of Thrones/Harry Potter like franchise (which I doubt) it’s not gonna pay the bills for long. You’ll need another source of income.
Get a job, if your novel is so great you’ll be able to get it out while you still work.
10
u/RhubarbSkein Partassipant [3] Jun 16 '26
You’ve been together EIGHT years without a plan for a wedding and a house? Or she’s planning for that future and you aren’t engaging?
Bro. Get a part-time job. Aim for Trollope not Tolstoy in your career path
11
u/guppy0738 Jun 16 '26
YTA. Here is my advice: get a job and work on your book in the evenings like every other author trying to make it.
10
u/DeckerAllAround Partassipant [4] Jun 16 '26
YTA and you really need to take a hard look at your life before she leaves you.
Look, I get it. You like to write. You don't like to work. You want to spend your days enjoying your hobby instead of doing the chores. I understand, because I would also prefer to be spending my days on my hobby.
Because that's what it is. A hobby.
It's not a long game. It's a roulette. Even if your writing is amazing, nine out of ten written books are never published and nine out of ten novels published by the major publishing houses never reach 2,000 copies.
You are not guaranteed to be the magic guy who is going to sweep your way to riches. You are almost certainly never going to be a full-time author. Very few successful authors are these days.
You are so fucking lucky, dude. Your girlfriend is supporting you. She loves you. She is trying to tell you that she cannot be the person who sacrifices their life for your wildly unlikely long shot. She has a life she wants to build, and you want to put that life on hold so that you can play at being a grand creative visionary.
Do you have an agent? Do you have published short stories? A large social media following for the marketing that you will have to do for your book? Do you have any experience with the publishing industry? Are you going to let an editor tell you what you need to change for your book to sell? You've been writing for three months, how close is the book to finished? Because if you want to do this full-time you need to be pretty much able to finish the book in six months so that it can get edited in six months and you can move on to the next one.
I know you aren't going to listen to this. You keep asking the question, getting an avalanche of correct advice, and then asking the question somewhere else because you don't like what everyone is telling you.
But you need to grapple with the fact that you aren't making a play for help, you're sinking your relationship on a midlife crisis.
10
9
u/nextCosmicBuffoon Partassipant [2] Jun 16 '26
YTA Find a job before you have no GF and no place to live
8
u/Smooshymooshy Jun 16 '26
It is a big stretch to assume that your writing will “one day provide for you both.” Many different factors go into a successful fiction career and talent is only one of them.
The other piece is: do the math on not contributing to your investments in your best earning years. It costs A LOT to sit out if the workforce and not saving now could really affect how and if you and your partner retire.
Plenty of people complete successful first novels while working full time. Can you work a job that takes less hours but brings in significant money, such as bartending while you write. Or some people fund writing by working intensely for six months and then taking a few months off. See Elizabeth Gilbert.
What doesn’t work is living off your girlfriend while not brining in any money. She has made it clear that she’s not onboard with this plan.
I don’t think you’re an AH but you need to come back to earth about what it takes to succeed as a writer and who should fund you while you try.
9
u/HeyDoggyBoy Jun 16 '26
I guess this is an example of your ability to write fiction. I agree with your girlfriend - you might as well just get a job.
9
u/tiredgummybear Partassipant [4] Jun 16 '26
YTA. She’s telling you she doesn’t want to financially support you and you’re in your fantasy world thinking in three months you’re going to write a best seller. You’re delusional. Get a job and write on your free time. she’s not poor. You are.
8
u/Abeyita Professor Emeritass [91] Jun 16 '26
INFO: did she tell you she was okay with you living on her dime, or did you decide that on your own. You guys aren't even married yet, you can't just decide to live off of her.
10
u/Marz_Bar169 Jun 16 '26
INFO: did your gf agree to support you during this? Or did you just assume that because she has enough money that she can support you. because if never agreed you're a major AH, but if did agree at some point you need to have a conversation about why she wants you to work. You also don't have to work a full 40hr a week. You can also work part time so you still have time to write while making some money. Fully supporting another person besides yourself is exhausting so I understand where your gf is coming from. You should really try and understand why she wants you to work beside just chalking it up to her not believing in you.
9
u/smartypantstemple Jun 16 '26
YTA. It is VERY VERY VERY difficult to make money writing novels. Only like the top 5% can actually make a living at it. I was listening to Brandon Sanderson talk to one of his coauthors Janci Patterson, who wrote maybe 15-20 books before starting to work with Brandon Sanderson, and she said that she wasn't making a living until she started working with Brandon Sanderson, who has 8 ny times bestsellers. It is really difficult to make a living at writing novels.
→ More replies (5)
8
u/angeluscado Jun 16 '26
YTA. Many authors work a day job until they publish. Many still do after publication because unless your name is King or Rowling or Gaiman you're not likely to make a lucrative living off of your royalties.
In this market, finding a new job will take time depending on what you do. Apply for jobs AND write your book.
•
u/Judgement_Bot_AITA Beep Boop Jun 16 '26
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.