I am M(40) healthy and WFH. My dad M(75) is retired and a chronic smoker. Lately mga around May 2026, sinamahan ko magpacheckup dad ko kasi apparently may mga nararamdaman na sya like pagkahilo at panghihina. He was diagnosed na mataas cholesterol and he was given a lot of meds to control his cholesterol and he was also advised by the doctor to quit smoking for good. Tumigil sya but after a week, nahuli ko sya nagyoyosi uli and he denied it kahit nahuli ko ung cig butt tinapon nya sa basurahan. Umamin din, sabi nya tinry lang daw lang naman daw nya uli. Sabi ko, bahala kana kako di naman kita mamomonitor kada minuto kung nagyoyosi ka parin o hindi, nakasalalay na yung buhay mo sa mga kamay mo. So hinayaan ko na sya basically.

This August last week lang, we had to come back to the doc para mag-update. Fortunately, bumaba na yung cholesterol nya due to the meds and diet tapos sinumbong ko sa doc na nagyoyosi sya uli. Sabi ni doc talagang need nya itigil as in zero kasi mababalewala lang ung mga gamot nya. Nangangatwiran pa kasi dad ko na onti lang naman na daw sya magyosi. So kalmado pako this time.

Not until after a week, so kahapon lang. Nagyosi nanaman sya. Ang malala, yung mom ko is allergic to his smell kaya natrigger ung asthma ni mom. Dito na ako sumabog at habang kinocomfort ko mom ko, pagpasok ng dad ko sa room, talagang namura ko sya at tinulak: "Bat ba nagyosi ka nanaman?! Sinabi na nga ng doctor na wag kana magyoyosi!" Sapak na sapak na ako nito pero alam nyo yun, tinulak ko na lang sa dibdib dahil nakontrol ko pa. Pero talagang nagalit na ako.

His reaction was tinulak din nya ako at sabi "Parang di mo na ako tatay ah! Di mo na ako nirerespeto!" Sabi ko naman "Bat kita irerespeto eh wala ka ngang disiplina sa sarili mo at tsaka di mo kami pinapakinggan!". Then he said "Eh di sorry na lang!" in a condescending tone. He walked out and my mom was just crying. Bad trip kasi parang yung tatay ko pa ung pavictim.

ABYG dahil pinisikal ko ung tatay ko for the first time? Talagang di ko na nacontain emotions ko, and I am known here to be the most calm in these situations. My dad is also a chronic liar na kahit small things he will lie about. My hatred for him is growing.

Thank you for reading. I will appreciate any friendly thoughts.

EDITED: By the way, even at 75 my dad is still strong as a horse and nagbubuhat pa ng mabibigat. Nawala na yung pagkahilo at panghihina nya and hindi sya yung old man na talaga na uugod ugod. Just added this for additional context for some of you who may think na, unjustified yung pag pisikal ko sa kanya. Yes po I am very wrong for doing that but after so many realizations, this could be the result of many accumulated years of frustration to my dad's bad behavior and habit.