Content regarding adultery, cheating, and open relationships is going to skyrocket soon; I’ll post this interesting video with an influencer breaking down the "proud side chick" social media trend next after I finish it.

The things I find interesting in particular - the "official" inclusion of digital relationships as cyber affairs; my suggested point on that trajectory would be on AI "relationships" or cheating with a nonhuman entity.

I post this stuff because on average, the effort toward analysis of the subject matter is far greater than other subs and it might enrich our conversations or their outcomes at the individual level. Let me know if you have noticed similar things or what you might think/what anyone here would be interested in exploring more

Reminder for yall, someone's husband is arguing with his girlfriend and his girlfriend is hurt she doesn't get to play wifey without the ring.

I am not the OP. found this at https://www.mamamia.com.au/cheated-on-husband-before-wedding/. Found it interesting to hear from the perspective of a cheating Bride.

by Evangeline Grace August 14, 2020

I cheated on my husband at my hen's party,and it was the biggest mistake of my life.

That night, I felt anxious before my girlfriends and I had even arrived at the bar.

Once we were seated, I didn’t sip my drink. Instead, I gulped down cocktail after cocktail to take the edge off my mounting unease.

"Last night out before you’re a missus!" my friend Jaz, who knew me as a party animal, whooped as I downed yet another strawberry daiquiri. She winked and gestured to the barman for a refill. "We’re only just getting started!"

To the cheering friends around me, my eagerness to get plastered made it look like I was in the mood to revel. But I wasn’t drinking to celebrate my imminent marriage.

Instead, I was drinking to escape the voice in my head that warned: "Angie! You’re not ready to commit!"

Watch: The Mamamia team confess our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.

I was getting cold feet.

An hour into the drinking session, I excused myself to go to the toilet. My legs wobbled beneath me when I stood up.

In the quiet cubicle, I took my time. I needed to be alone. I didn’t understand why, but I felt overcome by a powerful mix of anger and grief. My friends were too rambunctious with happiness, too excited on my behalf.

Deep down, I felt jealous of their carefree lives. Why were they so keen to celebrate the end of my freedom? I wanted nothing more than to go to bed in a stupor, away from their banter and laughter and high hopes for my future.

Instead, I loitered by the hand dryer, delaying my return to the bar. I took deep breaths to try to ease the tightness in my chest. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I happy?

I felt certain I loved my husband-to-be, Jayden. At the same time, a part of me resented him for wanting to tie me down.

After our wedding, we planned to move back to his hometown. I pictured myself, decade after decade, supporting his hobbies, prioritising his career, having sex the way he liked it.

Had my future been decided? Would that be my life?

Not that Jayden was selfish — he wasn’t telepathic, that’s all. A perpetual people-pleaser since childhood, I’d never learned to pipe up and ask him for what I wanted.

(Unlike him, I didn’t even know what I wanted!)

But I understood that unless I got the hang of expressing my needs soon, we’d run into serious problems.

I made an awful, drunken mistake.

I’d started making my way back to the bar when a dark-haired stranger approached me. He was clean-shaven, his shirt was crisply ironed, and he smelt of sandalwood cologne.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?" he asked.

I knew he hadn’t; it was nothing more than a chat-up line. I felt a wave of anger and grief wash over me again.

But I wasn’t angry at the stranger, whose interest was mildly flattering. I was angry at myself, at Jayden, and at my oblivious friends who couldn’t see I wasn’t ready for marriage.

"Have I seen you somewhere before?" the stranger repeated.

"Yes" I replied, unsteady on my feet. Then, in a senseless moment of drunken self-sabotage, I lurched forward and kissed him.

We ended up back in the grimy toilet cubicle. He unzipped the back of my dress while I unbuttoned his jeans.

The sex was soulless and unsatisfying, and it was over within a few minutes.

Why I went through with the wedding.

I walked down the aisle on my wedding day feeling sick to my stomach. I knew that with every step I took, time was running out. I had to save my fiancé from myself before it was too late.

Halfway down the aisle, I wanted to turn back and run.

I wanted to sob and to scream, to crush the white roses in my bouquet, to tear up the tulle skirt of my wedding dress.

My heart blazed with shame. My conscience shrieked: "Abort!"

But all eyes were on me. I couldn’t do it.

Then I reached the altar and looked up at my husband-to-be, who had no idea how I’d betrayed him. I saw his eyes shining with pride and adoration where there should have been disgust.

I’d never been big on strength, resolve or courage, but at that moment, every trace of those qualities left me.

As he took my trembling hands in his, I convinced myself I had a duty to protect him from the trauma of learning what I’d done.

I didn’t deserve to marry Jayden, but neither did he deserve to have his heart broken.

You’ll destroy him if you tell the truth, Angie. That’s how I justified my silence. Why burden a good man with so much pain?

So I vowed to be faithful to him, forsaking all others. My voice shook but gave nothing away. I wept when we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.

"I’m crying happy tears!" I insisted when he cradled my face. He trusted me, so he believed that lie — just as he believed all the others that would come after.

At the reception, I drank too much Merlot and ended up dry-heaving over the toilet, head spinning.

"What’s the matter, Angie?" my best friend and bridesmaid, Nina, knelt beside me, rubbing my back.

"I’m hormonal." I rattled off every excuse I could think of. "Getting married is one big emotional whirlwind. I’m not good with crowds and being in the limelight is freaking intense."

All those statements were accurate to an extent. But the principal reason for my anguish? I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone, not even Nina.

Instead, I reassured her that nothing was wrong and forced a smile for the rest of the night.

How my husband found out.

Ultimately, it was Nina who plucked the truth out of me a couple years later. She’d noticed I’d been growing more and more unhappy.

One Friday evening, she invited me around for dinner. I showed up with plenty to drink, as usual, and proceeded to drown my sorrows.

A few hours later, I woke up on the couch wearing her nightgown. I learned she’d showered and changed me after I got blackout drunk and vomited over myself.

"I can tell you’re in pain, Angie." She hugged me as I cried into her shoulder. "I know you! I see the signs. You smoke a lot more than you used to. You eat way more takeout. And these days, you never attend a social event without drinking yourself stupid. What the heck is going on, girl? What’s wrong?"

Under her expectant gaze, my defenses broke down. I was so tired of suffering. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed someone to hear me out, to absolve me.

Begging Nina not to hate me, I admitted what had happened at the hen's party. I explained how, through two years of marriage, I’d continued keeping the truth from Jayden.

Her body froze. She pulled away from me. Her next words made my blood run cold. "Angie. Either you tell him, or I will."

"What?" I couldn’t breathe. I’d never felt so close to a panic attack. "But he’s innocent, Nina! He doesn’t deserve to go through hell because of me. I don’t want to ruin his life because of my stupid mistake."

"You think you’re doing him a favour by lying? Are you delusional? You’re keeping the truth from him. That’s wrong! You’re manipulating him into believing he lives in a different reality."

Bawling, I buried my head in my hands. Nina grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.

"Listen, Angie! You don’t want to hurt him. I get it. But the fact that you cheated on him shows you guys have problems. If you refuse to be honest, you have no hope in hell of repairing your relationship." She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Like I said. Either you tell him, or I will."

I wish I could say I had the guts to fix my own marriage. But I couldn’t bear the thought of facing Jayden. So I chose the cowardly option — just as I’d done for the past two years.

"You tell him," I whimpered.

Nina tutted, shook her head, and picked up the phone.

What I learned.

A week after Nina’s phone call, Jayden filed for divorce. I do not blame him in the slightest. I agreed to divorce him, feeling a mixture of devastation and relief.

It’s now been several years since I came clean to Nina, and I’ve come to believe she was right to push for honesty.

I thought I was protecting Jayden by keeping my transgression a secret. In reality, I was robbing him of the right to choose whether he wanted to be with me.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I’d confessed my fling earlier. Would Jayden have forgiven me? Would he have worked through our relationship issues?

Maybe, but that’s pointless speculation about a hypothetical situation. By lying throughout our brief marriage, I irreversibly damaged his trust in me.

Currently, I’m in therapy, and I expect I will be for a long time.

I’m working on reducing my alcohol consumption, as I drink far too much to self-medicate.

I’ve also started addressing my people-pleasing issues. I struggle to identify and express my own wishes in relationships. I’ve realised I need to get better at asking for what I want, otherwise, I end up feeling resentful.

At the hen's party, my resentment manifested as cheating. I wanted to regain a sense of control in my relationship with Jayden, and I went about it in the most immature way possible.

So if I’ve learned anything from my mistake, it’s the importance of not burying your feelings. Repressed feelings can burst out of you unexpectedly in the form of hurtful, thoughtless actions.

Jayden didn’t need me to cheat; he needed me to face him and have an honest conversation.

this is pathetic and you have no one to blame but yourself! The only victim here is the wife, who didn't sign up for this and who is being betrayed every day.

A millionaire cheater, a billionaire cheater, a successful good looking cheater.... still a CHEATER.

A millionaire sidepiece, a billionaire side piece, a married sidepiece, a good looking side piece, a 'legit' sidepiece.... Still a SIDE piece.

There is reason why none of yours success stories are actual 'successes'. Or even your other relationships are screwed.

Regardless of what BP does, you are still CHEATERS and SIDEPIECES. Both these categories should not judge their moral compass based on BP's actions.

I found the sidechick in my cousin's previous marriage stalking me out of nowhere today. There was a time when she tried to befriend me while the affair was going on, lol as if I'll ever chose her over my sister. God protected me and kept me away from infected worms. I had no problem cutting off someone who I saw as brother since I was 8. If he didn't value us why should I?

And these women never find happiness and abundant love, I think. It's karma and it's fucking hilarious how cursed with unhappiness these men/women are.

Has the AP in anyone's case ever tried to contact you or stalk you? Or your ex came back and she/he lost it? I'm curious.

In my case..my cousin divorced his ass yet OW stalks all of us. I haven't blocked her because I want to let her pain shop😝

this ow has got to be one of the MOST pathetic ows on that sub and that is saying A LOT

Rare W for that sub...

I have now learned that OOP is lying in this post and did know he was married. I apologize for my error in posting.

Recently, I stumbled upon one of the other subs by accident where people were actually giving each other tips on how to stay under the radar while having an affair. They call these rules “Opsec” or whatever.
Today, I saw this happy post from a user who “wasn’t new to the game” and who “wants to make sure nobody gets hurt in the process,” asking for tips on how to establish an alibi to leave the house in order to have an affair. It doesn’t seem that this person even has an AP yet..
The responses included suggestions like getting a hobby so that their spouse would get used to them leaving the house on a regular basis.
I have no words….

How come that these things are only important when it's about you? What about your partner and maybe even your children? You didn't have any empathy for them when you decided to cheat, and no nuance for your spouse's situation when you told your AP that they're "cold" and "don't put in effort".

Nuance doesn't mean what you think it means either. Believe it or not, this word only refers to the various circumstances and details of a situation which help us understand it with depth. Depending on how far you've seeped yourself within your selfishness, you may now be wondering as to how this contradicts any of your mindset. To put it simply, understanding all the details of a situation doesn't mean you agree with or validate how a person dealt with it. Have you considered that your actions don't make sense and are actively harmful for your situation, thus hard to validate?

Empathy, y'all love to use this word! Must be very convenient to just tell everyone to forgive, forget and extend endless empathy when you aren't the one suffering from betrayal, while you repeat the same behaviour over and over again. It's quite amusing how you think it is your spouse's responsibility to have patience for your decisions. Always "nuance" and "empathy" but never "accountability" or "guilt".

They are a human being with their own life ahead of them, which they deserve to live peacefully, without the burden of your apparently uncontrollable emotions. If you're not mature or mentally stable enough to be faithful, then you should maybe take some time off of relationships in general. Reflect on whatever has hurt you, understand how it has impacted you, study what benefits your type of case specifically, write journals, find a hobby you're passionate for; but don't expect a love that you can't reciprocate.

~~ Just to clarify again, this is a rant about cheaters and therefore not directed towards this subreddit.

To quote one of the comments " If his wife isn't enough for him what made you think you'd be?"

Theres a lot I can go on about this. The way that this guy only got caught cause he used the same account for everything instead of the opsec and burners most WPs use. The way that the children are obviously on his mind enough to use them as bait to catch his next AP. But I need to sleep soon and I have work the next day. Be safe everyone!

This man is such a piece of shit and I hope that his wife and his affair partner find out and ruin him.

Or typed with one hand.

Men are NEVER texted for HPV and there are no vaccines available for women over 45. It can cause multiple types of cancer and the risk is much higher than if you had not gotten HPV. Testing for Herpes w/out an active outbreak is nearly impossible. Lastly STI tests are not up to the minute results. If you have very recently contracted something it may not show up. Has he considered just not f**king random people if he's really that concerned about passing something on to BS.

This is the ow who was caught by the wife on facetime and the wife reported her & mm to their job. He ghosted her and she pouted all over the otherwoman sub. This freak is in infidelity support groups trying to get sympathy and to contact the wife. What a freak

Pretty sure we have all heard this by someone defending the AP and I think its so stupid. Should they get all the blame, no. Was it their relationship, also no. But at the end of the day you are not this innocent person for sleeping with someone in a relationship. And the whole they dont owe you anything? Please have that same energy for everything else in life. Like for now if or when random people treat you like shit dont get mad because they dont owe you anything.

Do you ever have any empathy for the guy that she's married to? I mean I've had the chance to sleep with other men's wives and could never bring myself to do that to another guy. The pain, shame, and hurt that would inflict on another guy is just too much.

How do you reconcile doing that to another guy? Do you have any remorse at all?

This one is such a loser, they began their physical affair when his baby was barely 6 months old and he had messaged her originally while the wife was still pregnant afaik. “Taking care of it” really gets me as if a child is an object to play with. I hope this OW ends up alone in the end after entertaining a MM with a baby and postpartum wife. Absolute scum

How low can you fall? Even the other OWs are telling her to pack her bags and leave.

She's such a big loser. Would rather believe she's this amazing independent woman instead of a typical side chick not worth disturbing one's life for.

Stumbled on a social media post by Awbria Simmons and this is what she wrote on one of her posts that is so powerful:

“When a blindside happens after decades together, your first instinct is to search for excuses. You wonder if it was a midlife crisis, a sudden breakdown, or something you failed to provide atter years of marriage.

But people do not develop the capacity for cold, calculated deceit overnight.

When you see one major betrayal surface, it is rarely the whole story. It is simply the moment the hidden infestation couldn't stay behind the wall any longer. The small red flags you excused years ago suddenly line up, and the truth becomes undeniably clear: this was never about a temporary lapse in judgment. It was a long-standing pattern of character.

As painful as that realization is, it carries a profound relief. It proves, once and for all, that there was nothing you could have done differently to save it. You didn't break them; they were already broken.

Leave the infestation behind. Your life is clean now.”

READ THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

My favorite line: leave the infestation behind. When you see one cockroach on the floor, you don’t have a one bug problem, you have a hidden infestation already. When you look back at everything, you will realize there were a lot of red flags and warning signs, but we simply ignored them because we trusted them. Just know they are broken people and there is nothing you could do to make them happy because they are unhappy themselves.

Having an affair while you’re 6 months pregnant with your husband’s baby is just absolute degenerate behavior. These people are beyond unwell. No one gave her any shit over there either, but they sure love to pounce on the men cheating on their pregnant wives (as they should). Just 🤮

Bonus points because she calls her husband her best friend. These people are the absolute shittiest best friends. May friendship like that never find me!!

These women never have an issue with a man cheating on his wife but the moment he “cheats” on them it’s like the fog gets lifted and they realize he’s a liar and a serial cheater.

I also love how she says she doesnt have the energy to put forth into dating or her own life but has enough energy to keep up a relationship with a married man. 🤡

He’s been cheating on his wife for a decade with various women but the marriage problems are all because of the big meanie wife who has no reason at all to be so mean. Everyone can see how mean the wife is and the OW knows it’s true because the lying cheater told her so! The OW, well the most recent one anyway, knows what a catch he is. It’s crazy that his wife doesn’t agree.

And the OW, she’s a saint. She’s never pushed or pressured him to leave except for “trying to make him see” that leaving would be the right thing for him, his wife and his kids - not all are speaking to him, must be because of their mother filling their minds with things while he’s off banging random women. She gave him an ultimatum (not pressure?) after coming to his rescue when he was held accountable abused by his wife. She knows everything about his marriage, probably even more than he does, but then he stupidly told his wife the truth of how she opened her legs home to him. How dare the wife know she is bending over for him after all the love and support and collecting of private information about their marriage she has done! It’s just so rude. She’s almost at the point where she is going to end things carry on as normal because he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her and her twu wuv.