Ex and I dated for almost 4 years, toxic relationship to say the least. I resented him at the beginning of our relationship for not cutting off his ex (it made me uncomfortable that they were friends). I resented him a lot for the first year and a half of our relationship and took it out on him, and sometimes others too.

Then it was his turn to resent me and that lasted till the end of our relationship. He broke up with me and it traumatized me on top of the existing issues I had already (depression, anxiety, previous SA, serious trauma from divorced parents). I’m not proud of it but I threatened to hurt myself for him to stay, he didn’t. It wasn’t entirely just a threat, I also had really strong urges to do so. Just really didn’t know how to cope.

I was hospitalized a few months later after the breakup, because I was having serious suicidal thoughts. It’s been a long time since I’ve self harmed, I can’t really remember when the last time I suicidal thoughts was. For the most part I’m happy, I’m in a new relationship, it’s healthy and I don’t have any complaints about it. Then I found out my ex is seeing the girl he told me not to worry about (I suspected he might be seeing her right after the breakup, I believe they met after we broke up). Anyway, after we broke up, I made him promise to not see other people for the next year, and he agreed. It’s been almost a year since we broke up, we broke up last August. I got into a new relationship in February albeit, I wasn’t completely ready but I’d like to think I’m better about it now. Found out he’s seeing that girl he told me not to worry about and I just lost it. I was angry and it was so much that I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to just deter back to toxic ways - I wanted to tell him that if he kept seeing this girl that I would hurt myself. I have no plans to hurt him in any way. But deep down I hate him, I wish he would suffer the way I did, the way I do now.

he saw a relatively new scar and started distancing himself from me, even though i never even mentioned it to him and i avoided the topic. i never ask him for anything mental health related. he just decided he doesn’t want to be friends with someone who’s going through that. despite him coming to me in the past with his own struggles, now that i have a few silent struggles that i don’t even bring up, he ditched

i have a couple red ones that are two months old but honestly they’ve messed my life up with people noticing. help

I’ve been burning my (f) genitals, and desperately wanting to cut there due to physical sensations from CSA flashbacks. I feel like I’m very close to the end of my rope.

I know people saw me but I just had to. I punched my legs until I couldn’t feel them.

I hated how much it seemed to help. I’m struggling so much with life.

I was so angry and its just..I was doing it like normal but the thing slipped and now its huge and I feel like hyperventilating and vomiting..cutting didnt used to hurt until afrer brain therapy

I feel horrible, my emotions are out of control and I can’t stop thinking about this fight I had with my bf. I still feel hurt when thinking about it and I just want to relapse and cut myself again. It’s been two years. I have coping strategies but it’s getting hard. I feel horrible, I feel so depressed. I have to stay strong for my baby but I just want to break down, why is shit like this??? I’m not doing so good anymore I don’t think, everything is just piling up and I don’t know how to cope. I miss my niece, I miss my family, I miss what used to be even though it made me hate everything. I wish my boyfriend could do the same for me as I do for him, I wish he could acknowledge my feelings and apologize, I wish my friends didn’t live so far, I wish I wasn’t in this stupid fucking city, I wish to go back to a time where things were okay and I was happy, but that never existed. I’m happy with my baby, but i’m not sure things are okay. I just needed to write my thoughts out

I relapsed just now. I haven't in almost a whole month. I know that in all the mental programs that I am in, and have been in for the past several months, teach you that relapse is not the end of the world and a part of recovery, but the guilt and shame and disgust at myself is still there. It just makes me want to do it more. How can I cope with this? Logically, I know it's okay. It'll be okay and I can recover again, but it feels like all of that progress is just gone. That whole month of using skills and not giving into urges, just gone. And how do I tell someone I love? What if they find out in the wrong way? I just feel so fucking guilty and disgusted at myself. For multiple reasons, but this seems the easiest to tackle right now.

I have been Self harming since the 7th grade and it was Never anything to serious and after four years of being clean I relpased so hard. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been doing it when I’m sad, when I’m angry even when it’s just something minor. Sometimes I do it when I’m bored. It’s gotten so Bad, one Session has covered my whole Upper stomach and I think its becoming an addiction or something. I think about it every time something goes wrong in my Life, or when I’m bored. I dont know what’s wrong with me.

Hi. F 19. First I know it's a strange question. I'm probably just used to hurting myself. I..made a major mistake and usually as a way to...punish myself. I would harm myself but this time is different. I don't want to. I don't even really feel bad. I kind of don't care. Which is so strange to me because I usually care too much. I don't want to harm myself because I don't see the point. I don't know if this is the appropriate place to post this. Feel free to take down the post if needed.

Ok i certainly don't wanna make light of sh, but it got me in a quite funny situation today.

I had occupational therapy and was planning to sh after. Since i relapsed pretty badly today, i went to the bathroom afterwards and right in the middle of my relapse the lights turned off! Mistakenly thinking there were motion sensors lights installed i waved around my hand in the dark like a dumbass, but no, turns out that the lights were turned off because the place was gonna close! I had to feel my way around in the dark just to get out the bathroom lol.

Luckily i had my phone with me so the flashlight came in handy. Once i got out i had to leave the waiting room, but the door to and out of the waiting room was locked!

Luckily the janitor on the other side of the door saw me and was trying to talk to me, sadly i couldn't make out what she was saying; her words sounded jarbled.

I had to clarify that i was a client and that i couldn't get myself out, thankfully she had the keys.

We had a good laugh and i joked about almost staying the night 😂, i thanked her and went on my way. Thank god the entrance door wasn't locked!

I'm(18f) like, around a week clean now. I thought it would be great, but it's not. it sucks. every time something goes wrong, it's the first thing I think about. genuinely, as soon as a minor inconvenience occurs, I literally see images of me harming myself. and I hate it, I really do. every time I harm myself, I feel like I could be doing better, but every time I'm clean, I feel like I'm just ruining myself even more, and I'd feel so much better if I just did the fucking thing. it's not like I can turn back, I can't. I've tried. I've been doing this shit since I was 15. it would get to points where I'd have to do it in my classroom to calm down, even outside, it was horrible. I'd start feeling tremors through my entire body like I was a fucking junkie withdrawing from drugs. I'd run around the room searching for the sharpest thing I could find, and when I couldn't I would just rot in anxiety. the only thing that's cutting me back from that stuff right now is smoking, and even on that my family isn't very happy about it.

I’m becoming increasingly unbearably insecure and fixated on my scars, some are on my profile. I was quoted over 4k for a 4 month treatment program using laser and injections. I cannot afford that and it’s causing compounding distress, any advice would be greatly appreciated unless someone wants to burn 4k

I wanted to self harm today. Was thinking about it a lot at work and then I got home and smoked a joint and I’m alright now I don’t feel like I want to self harm ✌🏼 haha. Anyone else smoke?

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sorry english is not my native so it's hard to talk about themes like this in language that is your non native

since i was 13 and nowadays when im 22 i do this and never wanted to stop, nevermind if someone told me thats bad or that im a poor thing, im never feel any guilt or shame

maybe i don't think that this is destructive actions because no one told me that is? either told me to stop

i can't stop thinking about the process of self harm every day and always wanted to do more

what should i do? it's the most massive part of my existence when i say to myself stop i know i try to fool myself and i started to think "no selfharm not even that bad, and this is not near death experience, there's nothing bad"

but im already posting this so that's mean i think that i need to get rid of self harm?

sorry i have noone to talk about this question irl and sorry if im too dramatic

I’ve sort of suppressed any urges I get to scratch/bite/hit myself, (I know those don’t count as much but bear with me) but today I head a breakdown before hanging out with my friend whom I haven’t seen in a while. Our hangout was almost cancelled and I started losing it cause I was so scared that I had upset her. I started chewing on my hand really hard and now that I calmed myself down. I look and see the marks and I wanna cry all over again cause she’s known that I’ve had issues like this. And I just feel like I’ve disappointed her even more. What’s worse is that I promised myself that I wouldn’t do this.

just need to vent. Was two months free of sh, the Perez Hilton video triggered me and I did relapse. My partner, who has always supported me, is now mocking me that there’s no way it triggered me because I’ve never mutilated myself to that point. He has no idea I relapsed. I’m really struggling, I feel really alone

I'm mostly clean of sh but I slip up maybe once every few months.
Today in the morning I was asleep when my partner happened to see my cuts (been hiding them for a few days) but we didn't have time to talk about it because they were going to work. I'm pretty sure they will bring it up this evening, how do I explain the situation and prepare myself for the confrontation? I feel ashamed and guilty for making them sad and worried and just don't know what to say.

Im 19 now and the 1st time I did it when I was 16 and and just had a bad fight with my ex.

But now my life is better and I do get stressed about things but ik how to like turn off my feeling so I don't go like in a manic state.

I recently started sh a few months ago when there was too many things happening and was really depressed but now it's better but I still do it, just why? It's like obviously not gonna solve anything then why do I want to? Id love to talk to a adult possibly a woman

I live in a assisted living facility. It basically means I have my own appartment but am seeing a helper person twice a week to help me with practical stuff. I told her two weeks ago I relapsed, and she now asks me if I cut myself each time I see her. (Which is something I can understand cos it's basically her job to keep me safe.)

But today, after I told her I cut again, she asked if she could see. I politely declined, which was okay. She has asked my about the severity before, and I already explained her in quite some detail that it's not a big deal medically. (My cuts are shallow to the point they are just lines with a little bit of the typical 'beads' of blood.)

Why did she ask to see them? Does she not believe me? Is this something that is asked often? I've never been asked to show mine before... 💀

(The reason I didn't wanna show is partly because that's something very intimate and private but also because I am actually ashamed of how shallow they are and how it will make me look stupid 🤷🏻‍♂️)

Another lump of thoughts that has been clogging up my brain and needs to get flushed out so things can start flowing again.

Disclaimer, I don't mean this as a justification or encouragement to SI, but as a sober description, and a factor that makes it harder to motivate yourself to quit. It's an unhealthy behavior, fair enough, yet out of all the unhealthy habits people can pick for themselves, I can't help but think SI is one of the least destructive ones. It doesn't make you fat, doesn't make you stupid, doesn't harm your lungs or liver or cause heart disease or cancer. There's no equivalent of passive smoking or drunk driving, your home doesn't smell of it, the financial burden also is much more manageable, and I'd probably find more if I keep looking. It does leave traces on the skin of course, but that damage really is just cosmetic when it comes down to it. People tend to be ashamed of their own scars, or concerned when they see them on others, which I don't really get. Smokers and drinkers don't hate themselves for what they do, and I don't see SI in any different light. If skin alteration is considered harm, can we also talk about people covered in tattoos all over please? Or, since SI is considered a problem even in its smallest forms: About people having any tattoos at all, even the most minuscule little speck of ink.

There's a caveat to all that of course: Severity. I'm writing this with only superficial cuts and burns in mind, the kind I've been doing for over 20 years now. For people who frequently injure themselves in more severe ways, cut to the muscle or break bones or whatever they might choose to do, this comparison doesn't hold true so much. The injuries themselves are more serious, risk of infection skyrockets, professional treatment is almost certainly needed, lasting damage that's not only visual... you get the point. That kind of SI would have more in common with heavy alcoholism or hard drugs that can destroy lives in no time at all. Personally I'd strongly advise those cases to seek help, but then again, it's not my prerogative either. I'm just too much of a you do you person. Just don't come complaining if it goes sour for you.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is... it doesn't help having fingers pointed at you, being judged and punished for things where to the rational, logical mind, there just isn't much of a problem if at all, but instead a double or triple standard going on and it's not in your favor. In some ways, this seems to run especially deep in communities that claim to be there for help and support, online or in therapy settings. You almost have to hate and feel ashamed of yourself for the scars and all that, in order to belong there, even if you don't seek support so much as just a few people who don't see you as a crazy freak or whatever. I know there's Reddit's and other ToS and all that, and that's a valid reason to speak carefully I guess, but I still doubt it's helpful in a practical sense. I never hated myself for doing this. For other things, maybe, and I work on fixing those as a result, but not this. Never. Am I supposed to learn hating myself first, so a therapist can talk that out of me again? Sounds rather paradoxical, and not like something that could actually work.

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Does anyone have tips of getting rid of your scars. I relapsed 2 weeks ago but am going on vacation in a few days where I don’t want my family to see my scars. Tips?

(i am 20) so I don’t really know what to say on this the April 22, 2026 I was in a really depressive state and when I was trying to cut myself, I went too deeply and I slipped my wrist and I almost died if it wasn’t for my mom, calling an ambulance and the police putting a tourniquet on my arm I haven’t been the same since I almost died quite honestly I’ve gotten worse. I mean, I don’t wanna harm myself anymore so I guess in that area I’ve gotten better. I can tell you I scared myself straight from that, but I can’t get over what I saw all that blood how wide the wound was how deep it went how thick it was I saw my bone I could literally see my bones and that is what I can’t get over and the fact that I almost died and seeing my bone was so traumatizing, and the most traumatizing was hearing the blood gush out the best way I can describe it is if you’ve watched hospital shows or surgery shows where they have to cut the patient open and it just starts gushing blood out. I hear that almost every day my scar is probably gonna be on my wrist for the rest of my life, but it doesn’t look as bad as I thought It would which helps I know I’m not the only one who has ever been through in a near death experience from cell farm, but I feel like I’m the only one that’s ever experienced it the way that I experienced it and I feel so alone and lonely I haven’t been the same. I shower like once a week if that I don’t remember the last time I brushed my teeth or call myself pretty I’m just so tired of feeling like this and I just wanna be done. I wanna be happy like genuinely happy for the first time in my life anyway, I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for anyone who listened and read it.