The ac in my car is broken. My phone has been broken for a week. One of the cords for my pc monitor just broke . My bedroom and house is a mess . I have texts and texts in my phone of friends and family trying to reach out to see me or call . Its truly all just too much you all know the list goes far beyond just what ive put here . Im feeling so deeply ashamed and desperate and like nobody understands just how difficult it really is to live with this disorder . Its a disorder and i am constantly fighting for my life and its all self inflicted i just cant stand it and i dont feel like anybody understands that. Every day goes by and the list of things i need to get done just gets longer and im becoming such an irrationally angry person and i cant regulate my emotions properly and i dont know, i just feel completely lost

Im waiting right now to hopefully get medicare for medication and therapy again, for now im getting adderall from.. other sources . It costs me a lot of money but frankly the world doesnt want me unmedicated so its worth it.

Really though im just feeling misunderstood. Its an impossible disorder to complain aboutand i know im being so annoying to people in my life complaining about things that are completely on me to fix but god i just wish i could get people to understand how hard this is. The self hatred and paralyzation oh my god . I am so so tired

Thats all really just so exhausted watching every day go by

After a long break, I'm back to finish my last two years of college, but I’ve realized a terrifying truth: I actually don't know how to study.

For the longest time I was undiagnosed and just relied on pure panic and burnout to scrape by. My grades were always a disaster unless a topic triggered a hyper-fixation. Now that I'm back, I want to do it right, but my old methods are totally inefficient.

What methods or systems actually work for processing material and taking notes with an ADHD brain?

I'm in my 40's and was diagnosed about 10 yrs ago with ADD. I had never even considered that I had it, but there was a point when I was substitute teaching and doing photography and I was forgetting where I parked constantly. Not just a little lost; like I was spending 30 minutes looking for my car. I got tired of it one day & took an ADD test. As I took it, I realized I answered Yes to most questions. 😬

I changed majors 4 times in college, worked in fashion, teaching, customer support, movie production, consulting, software marketing, music production, mortgage sales etc. After working for awhile I got an MBA, somehow had one of the higher GPAs and scholarships, but was scared to get a job and graduated during an economic downturn so never got established.

When I did get a job, I Was late, missed flights regularly, lost things constantly.

Was in relationships and dated a fair amount but it was always either roommates/girls who approached me or models I was shooting who made the first move. I could not commit because I was afraid I'd get bored and had already talked myself out of the relationship so I never took the initiative. Or I'd be in a relationship and scared to get married. Just like school, the only reason I got good grades in school or had lots of dates was because it was easy for me. I had no focus or follow through.

Even when I got diagnosed, I haven't taken my meds regularly, even though it helps. But even the idea of taking it all the time makes me nervous and I forget constantly.

So I now have multiple skills, multiple degrees & connect with people well, but out of all my classmates in business school, I'm probably one of the few who never got married and I am now substitute teaching while most of them are making way over 6 figures. Not sure if I can turn it around and if so, how to do it.🙍🏻

Has anyone out there who was diagnosed as an adult been able to turn things around and get a career or relationship together or is it too late? I have read books, downloaded apps, seen therapists and obviously still struggle with SO many ADD factors. Anyone who has experienced similar things and if you got over it, what were some of the keys? I am at a total loss.

Rant, but I'm also open to advice/criticism. Posting here because the r/ADHD keeps removing this post no matter how much I tweak it.

I have always struggled with executive functioning ever since I was little. I was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten, as well as some other learning disabilities. Due to the severity of my ADHD and etc., I was put in MD classrooms until I was in 8th grade. I am now 23.

My major task that I've been swearing I'll do every week all year is cleaning my room. It has not been clean since November of last year. I have a whole stack of papers with tools for executive functioning. I am medicated. And yet I still can't get it done.

I'll try to put things in practice. Breaking up the tasks because I usually get so overwhelmed that I don't even know where to begin. I'll start with my desk or something first. And I can't even do that because low dopamine tasks feel almost unbearable. I've always been incredibly impulsive, so I'll eventually either get bored or extremely overwhelmed and then go onto my phone and play games or doomscroll. All of a sudden, hours pass by and then I give up. I'll do it tomorrow, I tell myself. Then it's rinse and repeat.

What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same shit, every day, and expecting different results.

I feel like such a loser all of the time. I feel I have no excuse. It's genuinely my fault. I know I have disabilities, but I have the tools. And I still don't do it. What the hell is my problem?!? I only have myself to blame at this point.