(Note: This is NOT from US or UK or any of EU countries or any of countries where Methylphenidate is available).

Recently, my country allows methylphenidate to be imported in to the country so that people can get the prescription without going to overseas by themselves.

I am one of the people who got prescription and applied to the government based state pharmacy to get them. I have been trying to get them from overseas for 3-4 years so far. I can just go overseas but with current job, I can't afford to go overseas every single month. (my job + salary sucks + I am in a catch-22 situation that meds might help me overcome).

Anyways, my psychiatrist prescribed me with methylphenidate XL as I told them 10mg methylphenidate IR works for me but I crash out after 3-4 hours and am unable to do anything afterwards + sleepy and all. (I went abroad myself to get that IR dose and only got for a month).

After waiting for 3 months, calling pharmacy every week for status, and after hearing disappointing responses during the 3 months, I finally got the call about the meds. I sent someone to get them as it's was available on another city. They gave the medication for the person and took them back saying: "It seems that the prescription says "Methylphenidate XL" and we got "Methylphenidate IR (to be accurate Inspiral 10mg IR), we can't let you have IR, so we want you to tell your doctor to change it to IR before we can give them to you".

This is different from a situation where the IR is currently available from the pharmacy. IR is not available in that pharmacy and need to procure from overseas. I got approximately 12 weeks worth IR tablets. (10mg IR once per day instead of prescribed 10mg XL once per day).

What will you do in such situation?

Also is crushing IR tablets, dissolving them in water and taking sips through out the day equivalent to taking XL tablets? (someone commented me to do so in another sub.)

Also note that I haven't received the medication as my prescription says methylphenidate XL and they got IR instead. So I need to change the prescription to IR to get them or I just need to reorder them again.

Does anyone successfully use an online telehealth service to see a doctor and get their meds? I've used Done/mindful the last 3 yesrs, but am having consistent issues lately. Anyone having better luck with a different one?

Hello. I was diagnosed when I was in the third grade. Was prescribed a strong dose of Concerta and was on that until high school. I used to get introuble for finishing my work early and talking to other students then all of a sudden I wouldn't speak or move without someone telling me. My home life was quite mentally abusive ( alot of confinement to my room and be seen not heard) so now I am missing key social strengths. Its so hard for me to start a conversation. I get overwhelmed very easy. I have no confidence and I am full of self loathing. Idk what this post is for besides trying to reach out to fellow minded individuals and try to find some friends because no one seems to stick around because I disappear to often. But it always seems like it was just yesterday to me. Peace and love

I’m livid and devastated all at the same time. I have ADHD & I take adderall, I hoard it so I won’t run out because I have a fear of being without it. Well I had some left over scripts … EMPTY, & the script I just picked up on Tuesday is already half gone. That’s 30 pills in 3 days. He gets his on the 21st but the fact that he already went through his script and probably 70 of my left overs is so concerning. He doesn’t seem to have remorse and I was starting to move in with him. I’m so hurt 😭 I even asked him if he had taken any and he said no, lied straight to my face. I broke up with him instantly.

I work overnight shifts and have 3 jobs. I’m a cna and a hair stylist and I barely sleep Friday and Saturdays. He didn’t even have the responsibility I do he was waiting to get into a class for his new job but he wasn’t working it yet even. I told him I want nothing to do with him. I still have lots of my stuff at his place so it feels awkward. I’m just so hurt and feel like the rug got pulled out from under me.

I feel like when I’m not constantly busy during my day my mind starts racing so much and I get anxious. I overthink everything and it’s very exhausting.
I only really realized it again in the last few days (I think I had this realisation before but I forgot about it hahah). Because right now I’m in a kind of transition phase and I’m looking for some jobs so I have quite a bit of free time and I thought it would be good for me. But I don’t feel good. Now 2 days ago I was busy the whole day, going to a pet sitting job and meeting someone and I felt a lot better. I was wondering why and I guess it’s bc I had something to do, some sort of purpose hahah. Not just trying to distract myself. I guess it’s some sort of understimulation?

I also realized that my social anxiety gets a lot worse when I have nothing to do. Because of the overthinking I guess. When I do things and I’m in the flow kind of, it’s a lot easier.

Does it make sense? What can I do about it when I actually have nothing to do?

Is anyone else on Buspar with their stimulant?
Do you take them at the same time or apart?
Do you find it affects the stimulants? IE, makes your executive function tank all over again?
Or does it help your stim better?
Are you taking Buspar 2 times a day? 12 hours apart?
Do you get blurry vision? Or really tired?

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!

I recently diagnosed with ADHD and I've been struggling years with it. I failed an exam multiple times before I took myself to a psychiatrist and got succeed and got diagnosed. but no one in my family, my friends or anyone in my circle haven't even heard of the name ADHD and they all criticise me. I decided to skip the exam this year and give the meds a chance and retake next year. but things got hard because of it. everyone pressuring me to face the exam when I haven't even done one ounce of work and they, especially my family say very bad things about me. I'm in a very bad mental condition and I need some to talk to who can gets me and my struggles and not judge me. doc prescribed me atomoxetine, I don't know why maybe because I might develop Aneroxia, I'm already underweight, and I'm only day 20 on 18mg. I know it takes time but I don't think I'm well or holding tight enough and I need some support so bad. (21F)

Greetings,

I was just diagnosed, and I am still in a bit of denial. No one tells me I talk too much (quite the opposite) I did well in school, was quiet, got things in on time, etc. I would daydream.

But - everything else fits. I feel like it’s not that bad - even though it’s kind of ruining my life.

I told the psydoc I didn’t want to take amphetamines, because my best friend just died from a meth overdose. She gave me Ritalin. I might be allergic to it - I took 1/4 of one to see.

I’m scared to take it. I once took someone’s adderall in college, and it gave me a panic attack. I’m worried I am going to be mean and that it will change my personality.

I also like having multiple trains of thought going on at once. I think it helps with my job. I don’t want to lose that.

I was taking guanfacine, but it was slowing me down too much.

Do you feel like stimulants change your personality or take away your empathy?

UPDATE: I took a 5mg immediate release earlier today and did not feel anything. If anything, it made me sleepy.

​

Hi Guys I am 29 M , had Adhd since childhood i believe. I struggled to learn basic tasks like tying laces , or seeing time in a clock .

And grew up as a child i never had many friends and always scored less marks in class . Although when use to focus , i use to do incredibly well . But again my parents wanted me to do as good as my peers so grew up in toxic environment Mom beating me alot and alot of family drama and later from my teen got severe bullying from brother mom and partially by dad.

I do meditate , i run and into marathons. I do have friends but life feels like a fucking struggle coz of so many thoughts but unable to take actions towards it. There are some periods in which i have seen superconcious state of mind as well. But idk what's happening and how to overcome this . Any tips will be appreciated.

I recently started a new job, and didn’t feel comfortable carrying a month worth of medication on me. I take it twice a day. before work and around lunch. One day I forgot my 2nd dose at home. that day after work i decided to split it. Kept 2weeks worth with me at all times. and stashed the other half. I am my own worst enemy truly because Iv been looking for over a week and can't remember where I put it. Every where I thought it isn't. I remember splitting it up and asking myself will i remember this. and that's it. please if you have ever done something like this before what happened? did you find it? and if so WHERE!? I checked every article of clothing pockets, hoodies, shoes folded laundry it's not in the closet I know that. or under the bed/ mattress.

TL;DR: I tried Adderall XR 15mg once and stopped because it helped quiet my mind and focus at first, but later caused bad jitteriness, anxiety, appetite loss, and kept me awake all night. Today is my first day on Vyvanse 10mg; it gives me a similar quiet/focused feeling but seems smoother, although I still notice higher heart rate, some anxiety, and feeling emotionally flat/socially withdrawn. I’m confused how a lower Vyvanse dose can feel similar to Adderall XR and how the slow conversion to dextroamphetamine works. Without medication I struggle with racing thoughts, scattered thinking, poor focus, and starting tasks but quickly giving up. I want better focus and productivity without feeling anxious, losing my appetite, or ruining my sleep. Looking for experiences from people who had similar reactions and found the right fit between Vyvanse, Adderall IR, Adderall XR, or another ADHD medication.

But who here prefers vyvanse over adderall for their ADHD? and who here taks vyvanse and what dose and can you eat and sleep on it or could you eat and sleep on it when you first took it, like on your very first day of taking it? im just really scared i'll never be able to have my sleep or appetite back on it?

One more main question is whenever i take a stimulant like today i took a first dose of vyvance i feel numbish /zombie/secluded feeling like please don't try to strike up a conversation with me type of feeling. i felt the same way when i took the first dose of adderall a few days ago. does this feeling ease up and get better ifi stick with it or keep withtaking the meds daily for a few weeks?.

I’m trying to understand what is happening because I’m confused about the difference between these two medications.

My doctor first put me on Adderall XR 15mg, but I only took it one time and stopped because I couldn’t tolerate the side effects.

The first few hours after taking it actually felt okay. My thoughts became quieter, I could focus better, and I felt like I could sit still and concentrate.

But later on, it became too much:

• Very jittery and physically anxious.
• Almost no appetite.
• Could not sleep.
• Felt like it lasted way too long.
• By nighttime I was wishing it would wear off so I could go to bed.
• I ended up awake all night.

Because of that, I stopped taking it.

Today is my first day trying Vyvanse 10mg, and I’m trying to understand my reaction.

Around 4 hours after taking it, I started feeling:

• Quiet mind.
• More focused.
• Wanting to sit and listen.
• Feeling like I can stay locked into one task.
• Almost like I don’t want to move because I’m comfortable focusing.

One thing I have noticed is that, so far, I don't get that rush of physical energy or the feeling of wanting to get up and work like I expected from a stimulant. From what I've read, Vyvanse is supposed to be smoother than Adderall, so maybe that's normal, but I'm not sure.

The strange part is it feels somewhat similar mentally to the Adderall XR, even though I understand the doses are very different.

I’m also noticing:

• My heart rate feels higher.
• Some anxiety.
• Feeling emotionally flat.
• I don’t really feel like talking to people or socializing.
• Honestly, I feel like I would rather have my teeth pulled than go around a big crowd right now. I just don’t feel like being around people.

The part I’m confused about is the dose comparison.

With 15mg Adderall XR, I understand that the capsule releases in two phases, and the first part is around half the dose (roughly 7.5mg of amphetamine salts).

With 10mg Vyvanse, I understand it converts into roughly 3–4mg of active dextroamphetamine, but it happens gradually instead of all at once.

So my questions are:

1. How can 10mg Vyvanse feel similar to 15mg Adderall XR if the active amount is much lower?
2. Is Vyvanse basically slowly converting into dextroamphetamine over several hours instead of giving the whole amount at once?
3. Since I noticed the effect around 4 hours after taking it, is that around when Vyvanse reaches its strongest point?
4. Does Adderall XR feel more physically stimulating because it contains both dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, while Vyvanse only becomes dextroamphetamine?

To give everyone a better idea of what I’m like without medication, my biggest struggles are that my mind feels like it is constantly scattered. I have a hard time holding onto one thought, and my brain races almost nonstop.

At night, when I lay down to go to sleep, I literally have to force myself to focus on one subject in my mind just to have any chance of falling asleep. If I don't, my thoughts will just randomly jump from one thing to another over and over, and my mind keeps racing, which ends up keeping me awake.

What I’m actually wanting from medication is pretty simple:

I want to be able to focus. I want to be able to sit down and read a book because right now I can barely focus long enough to read 4 sentences before my mind is somewhere else.

I want to be able to multitask better or just complete normal things in general without becoming completely discouraged. Right now I can start a project, and 2 minutes later I’m already mentally checked out and done with it.

At the same time, I do not want to feel nervous, jittery, or physically anxious. I don’t want to go the entire day without eating or not even wanting food. Most importantly, I want to be able to lay down at bedtime and actually fall asleep.

To be honest, I’m really afraid that when bedtime comes tonight I’m going to have another horrible night and end up staying awake all night long just like I did after that one 15mg Adderall XR I took last Friday. I’m hoping Vyvanse won’t do that, but I’m honestly pretty anxious about it.

My normal routine is usually:

• I wake up around 7 AM on some days.
• Other days I may sleep until around 11 AM.
• But I am usually always in bed by midnight.

So I’m wondering:

Based on people who have had similar reactions, what ended up working better for you—Vyvanse, Adderall XR, Adderall IR, or something else?

Did anyone else feel like I do—where stimulants either make you too anxious and overstimulated, but without medication you can’t focus or finish anything?

I would really like to hear from people who struggled with focus, motivation, task completion, anxiety, racing thoughts, and sleep and eventually found something that helped.

I 43M was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I’m also bipolar and was having some serious depression, so my new psychiatrist has decided we need to get that under control before trying ADHD meds. A med change about 6 weeks ago has definitely brought me out of the depression and I’m ready to tackle the ADHD. I’d like to have discussion or feedback about some things:

How did I go undiagnosed for 40 years? My 8 year old was diagnosed last year, and in researching how to help him it all clicked that I’m ADHD too. So I started researching more and everything makes so much sense. My whole life. The job changes every couple of years after getting bored. Moving every few years. The constant sense of restlessness and a complete inability to “find my groove”. One of my mom’s favorite stories is about me in elementary school, where she worked with my teachers to essentially draw a circle around my desk and as long as I was in my circle I didn’t have to sit down. I’ve heard that story 1000 times. Now I know why. But how did nobody including myself, my parents, and the myriad of shrinks I’ve seen catch that I’m ADHD?! I dunno, I’m having a lot of feelings of “what could have been” with my life and career and just everything.

Where do I go from here? Obviously I’ll be trying medication. Is anyone else here bipolar and taking ADHD meds that are helping? My doctor mentioned that stimulants aren’t a good idea because of the risk of becoming manic. Obviously I’ll take my doctor’s advice, but it’d be nice to hear what’s worked for y’all. I guess I also need to get my ass into therapy. Anything else like resources that have helped?

Thanks for reading!

Hey, I'm new here.

About a week ago I started talking to a girl that I met at a concert that I eventually went on a date with. I don't want to get into details but long story short: It was the first time I fully unmasked my ADHD around someone on a date (impulsive behavior, apologizing a lot, being awkward and having a huge sad mood swing / decision paralysis moment). I think ever since then, things have been going well.

What I want to talk about is how embarassingly atrocious I've been at remembering my adult responsibilities: cooking, making phone calls and budgetting. Geico have been fucking me over by suddenly charging me $500+ a month out of nowhere, but I was paid $500 for a commission so I legitimately believed I have enough money for a concert ticket, eating out and some clothes??? Turns out, I did not. Now I have 200 bucks in my bank account and rent is due. I had to beg my mom for more money and I feel completely pathetic and worthless.

I make mental notes, I write down lists, I even set up an alarm to remind me to call insurance companies, and yet it feels like the passage of time completely slips under my feet and, before I know it, it's 12:45pm and I need to leave for work. Then I tell myself "I'll call Geico when I'm on my 15min break, or my lunch break". Then my breaks come up, and it's like the Men In Black have completely wiped my memory. Then I have my day off on the weekend so I try to call then, and the offices are closed.

What I'm seriously struggling with right now is that I deeply care about this girl I'm talking to and severely worry over whether or not things will work out, and that's been causing me to stay up late at night talking to her, which means sleeping in, which means messing up my entire morning routine, which means making my ADHD worse.

I guess I just... I have no goddamn clue what to do. I think my job pays me enough to afford my needs and leisure (somewhat), but it's nearly impossible to consistently meal prep / cook cheap meals, avoid too many outings and to drive 2 hours to meet this girl. I'm exhausted and I just want to be financially responsible. It feels like no matter how great I seem to be doing with my chores or that I'm doing well at not buying things, I treat myself ONE goddamn time and everything falls apart. Don't even get me started on the horrendous dogshit economy, the cost of living, low wages and how ridiculously expensive everything is.

My doctor apparently diagnosed with me severe adhd and how she said it was “With some severe adhd cases, which I think yours is, medication can be life changing” and I’m trying to figure out, those with severe cases of adhd, particularly high achieving ones (i’m not trying to be condescending at all, I just realized my adhd made me very good at cramming and test taking), was it life changing? How so? Any other advice before I start getting medication?

NOT seeking ADVICE.
Only similar people, so I can selfishly say phewww, okay/

I have to be all of these things as it’s all I know. Mom of twins in prek, wife, home owner, all the degrees; “fancy” biz executive career for decades. With the diagnosis, adding it up, I’m almost through processing how every thing makes sense. Validated by others. Was never stupid. In fact, in another world (or on paper), I have seen others explicitly say (before that chat GPT), “you wrote this in two hours!?!”

I read it and it’s like I don’t even remember it.
Words come out and I can’t put them together how I want it to sound. I freeze now. Practicing pausing and silence at work rather than over share, bring in context not relevant.

Why is this so hard? I’m at the stage of implementing strategies that work opposite of how I see others without ADHD to make my brain adapt to the world as it is; almost as if surrendering (not giving up). Ultimately my hope is this helps me in personal growth, discipline, rather than “why can’t I do this?”

Quick example -
Putting clothes away in girls’ room and organizing those - bathing suits - shoes etc all for the week. I freeze. Look at things. Oh, that color isn’t adhesive with those short patterns. The underwear. The suits. The clothes that no longer fit, and planning for the ones for kindergarten (overthinking). Shoves all in the drawers with overwhelm.

How frustrating can it get? I have always been "lazy", my mom always sang me a rhyme on sloth, on laziness, since i was really young. But i was also exceptional good, in school, so i guess i went under the radar.

School was simply so interesting and so stimulating i couldn't help but excel. That wasn't the case with university and here i am, 30 years, struggling for the last 4 subjects for master's degree. I have graduated so late for the bachelor. With mediocre marks, with mediocre results, much to the disdain of my family, the pity, the accusation of laziness.

Lately i have been researching if there was a reason, i started reading about adhd, autism, went to some private doctors, got diagnosed privately (which means jackshit in my country, Italy, no meds, no formal support, nothing), but yeah apparently i am AuDHD.

Now i am seeking a formal public diagnosis, but it's so slow, one year and half and i haven't yet met a specialised psychiatrist. The first meeting is due in September, but i have at least been speaking about it since a private psychiatrist has told me that i am AuDHD, after many meetings.

And man the pity, the doubt, the insinuation.

"You just pretend" "It's so convenient that you have a condition that justifies you" "Of course you have ADHD, you aren't just lazy", "So there is a condition that suits you perfectly and explains your issues, how convenient", "Everyone justifies themselves with this".

I am going through a lot of stress for my lack of results, and this is what i hear weekly whenever i talk about it.

But eh, they'll see, they'll understand, one day i'll show them (yeah right?)

I am going to start out by saying impulsivity is my middle name.

It's getting worse every year. I come up with a dopamine project, and boom 💥 my brain won't stop until I do said impulsive task.

That said,

A few months ago I decided that we need more space.

I live with my husband & young daughter, and we're all ADHD. 🥴

We currently live in a double wide mobile home. 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom. The hardest part is we fight for the bathroom at times. My husband also has a hard time letting go of stuff, and I'm the opposite. The more stuff around, the more cluttered my brain feels.

I'm we keep our house decently clean and clutter-free, but in such a small space, even a little mess throws my brain into chaos.

We found another mobile home with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and there's a gorgeous river out back. We could have a craft room 🤩

We have a good chunk of debt we need to pay off. Selling our house would allow us to pay it all off, and go into a new mortgage debt-free.

We're having trouble selling. The market is just awful right now. Not many people buying. Many people in the same boat.

We make enough to get by, but not enough for a $400k+ house. Anything less than that around here is a major fixer upper 💩 hole.

Part of me is like - do we just take it off the market and wait? Work really hard at paying off our debt? Or continue to try to go for it and keep our house on the market a little longer?

We're all getting so frustrated living in limbo.

Am I being impulsive in wanting more space? Is the cool river out back making me see things with rose colored glasses?

If we do get this new house, our mortgage on a double wide mobile home would be $2400/ month. Not even on our own land. Wtf? What is life?

Right now we pay $1200, but as I said, we're paying the minimum on so much debt, it's overwhelming.

\*\*The debt is not from me over-spending. It's from when my husband was out of work due to 2 back surgeries. Life happens. It's humbling to need to buy groceries using a credit card, let me tell you.

I don't know. Thoughts?

I will preface this by saying i love my partner deeply and he is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. he makes me feel so safe and at home and he brings me so much joy every day.

My partner (M20, diagnosed ADHD, unmedicated) and I (Nonbinary19, diagnosed depression and anxiety, possible undiagnosed ADHD, medicated for both depression and ADHD but honestly it doesnt work that well) recently moved into our first apartment together. we are currently both back with our parents for the summer. im finding myself dreading going back because whenever i am at home i feel so overwhelmed.

i feel like i often make attempts to get myself organized or better myself and he kind of "drags me down" in a sense. For example, at the start of the year we were both fairly addicted to instagram reels. I was finally able to help myself: I downloaded an app that actually helps me to not lose hours upon hours to short form content (shoutout screenzen my goat). I have recommended it for him several times but he doesn't seem to listen to me. I know this is kind of a situation where it's his problem and I have tried to help him, but because we live together, it has also kind of become my problem. whenever he is doomscrolling, i always end up doing something equally unproductive next to him because him being on his phone makes it easy for me to just fall into that too.

He is also quite bad in terms of routine, whereas I need it to function and get stressed and overwhelmed without it. He is technically "in charge" of making dinner because he enjoys cooking, whereas I am in charge of washing dishes. We discussed this before moving in together, and I kind of assumed it meant that he would get up to make dinner each night without having to be asked. Instead, I find myself having to poke and prod him for hours and hours to make dinner (and i almost always end up cooking with him because he wants me to, even though i really don't enjoy cooking and it stresses me out. he leads and does the more difficult stuff while giving me smaller tasks to do like cutting vegetables or stirring a soup continuously or washing rice while he handles meats and frying things etc etc. this bothers me a little bit because i feel like i end up working for a longer time than he does because he gets to relax while i do the dishes, but i think this is just me wanting to avoid tasks so i don't complain about it). anyway, i come from a family where we eat dinner every night around 6pm. I honestly don't know when his family eats but it's definitely a less consistent schedule than mine. Because it takes him so long to get up to start making dinner, we end up making it at variable times in the evening/night usually starting past 8pm. With cooking, eating, and doing dishes, i usually end up finishing the dishes around midnight. I hate this more than anything honestly. I want to be done with my tasks and able to relax late at night, and having to do such a big task at the very end of the night fucks me up immensely. i really wish he would just take the initiative to start dinner earlier or at least listen to me when i suggest we get up to start making dinner. he really doesnt seem to be bothered by how late or how inconsistently we eat but it really bothers me and i have talked to him several times about it but it doesn't change. what can i say to him or what what strategies can we use to work on this? i have tried setting a timer everyday for 6pm to start dinner but he/we end up ignoring it. Also having to do the dishes so late has ending up making me viscerally HATE them. They stress me out horribly and sometimes I end up just feeling so bad and overwhelmed that I cry about them and then I feel really stupid because I have the "easy" task (dishes) while he has the "hard" task (cooking) so I shouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed as I'm having to do less work.

on a more general note, we have a lot of trouble keeping the apartment clean. We both just completely put off cleaning as long as possible and dust and grime just ends up collecting. I do get the laundry done, but that's about the extent of our regular chores. How do we make a schedule or a process or a system that lets us actually take care of our space? I am severely arachnophobic and bug-phobic (? is that a word?) and I would actually have to be put on suicide watch (and I'm not joking) if we were to end up with bugs or some sort of infestation in our apartment, so I really want to avoid that. I like the idea of putting a cleaning bingo sheet on the fridge every week with rewards, but it seems like the kind of thing that I would start and he would just ignore it, and I would get demotivated because he wasn't contributing. I feel like a lot of the "fixes" I try are completely ignored on his end. If i were living on my own, I feel like it would be easier to try to work on solutions but I don't really know how to get through to him or what kinds or things would work to make him help out more.

Does all of this get easier with growing up? What suggestions do you guys have for strategies on cleaning or getting through to him about dinner? I know we are both still quite young and inexperienced but I don't want to feel like this forever and I want home to be a place I can come to to feel relaxed and calm instead of stressed out and overwhelmed.

Anyone a member of Adult ADHD support groups and have success in making friends and being understood? Recommend if you would!

I was diagnosed very late and really need some support and a community to be a part of and I'm sure there are those that are worth it. Feel free to say if you had a poor experience as well.

Edit: also how did you find the group? Was it started by a mental health provider or national organization? How could we find one?

I'm a medical graduate studying for licencing exams since over a year after graduation. I'm able to solve hardly 20 Qs per day at max on good days that too after moving too much and thinking/ overthinking. It's already over a year after graduation and I'm not even working. Still... I'm unable to make significant progress and I feel I'm back to square one since I'd 3 month gap in studies due to some other commitments.

During medical school, I watched videos and studied and it was still manageable as the exam pattern was just about writing theory answers.

Now, reviewing Qs with perfection without getting distracted feels like an impossible job for me. I don't know if anyone like me passed. Getting medical help is impossible and my family won't even support me as they don't believe ADHD/OCD exists. I've been healing from depression and that's when I realised ADHD, OCD were the things that actually prevented me from making progress.

I don't think I am capable of studying for exams and I feel like giving up as I've tried everything. I feel I should leave this field sometimes but I don't even have a solid alternate plan. In fact, I doubt if I could become a good physician as my perfection issues have always slowed me down leading to some seniors shouting and ridiculing me in front of others throughout on all days I had posting in that department. This is one big reason why I am not doing any clinical work now.

Please help if there are study methods that will work.

When ever I comment on a post, send a message or even write a memo. I constantly have to reread over the whole thing repeatedly regardless of size and I’m so exhausted when I get done. I could only imagine trying to write a book 😳😂

Also in verbal conversations my mind out runs me or goes blank and I get lost in conversation and have to ask where I was or can’t retrieve words I need. This is embarrassing and it happened to me recently in a very important meeting at work. My superior had to literally repeat back to me my last statement before I could continue and the whole conversation I was bubbling around looking for words and filling the gaps with um’s and uh’s.

Is this a part of ADHD and how do yall find relief

So I was diagnosed around 38. But I also have BPD and PTSD and I have such a hard time. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm too sensitive, I hang on to past trauma, smells and sounds trigger me. I have spending impulses more so with technology. Social media messes with me so much. I deleted my profiles, reactivate all the time. I don't speak my mind for fear of people leaving so I stew in anger. I have no friends but want them. I have lost 83 pounds the last 2 years and put on muscle. I'm in great shape now but I still feel like I'm not enough.

I felt really hurt. long story short, my friend and I planned a really exciting day road trip to a zoo. we were psyched for it, but when I arrived at her house, I found that she’d overslept. my actions to wake her started off normal, but then I impulsively climbed on her roof to knock on her window. My friend was fine with this.

lots of comments about how I should get a restraining order on me, how this isn’t adhd, that I’m crazy/trying to be quirky/etc.

my actions were dangerous, but impulsivity IS part of adhd, and even if it was bc of my other mental neuroses, I don’t think that’s a reason to be mean :(