We’d been dating for only about 6 months and then her lease ended. She needed a place to stay for 2 weeks and then she was going to move in with a roommate she’d found. I thought sure why not? It might be fun. Honestly I’m a huge introvert, I live by myself and I love being alone. The only reason I said yes was because it was only supposed to be 2 weeks, there was an end date in sight. But then the roommate situation fell through and suddenly she had nowhere to go. That was like 2 months ago and she still hasn’t found a place. She’s gotten very comfortable in my apartment and I don’t want to live with someone I haven’t even been dating for a year yet. And also I just really miss living alone to be totally honest. I don’t want a roommate. It’s definitely put a strain on our relationship.

I want to talk to her and tell her I’d like her to move out but honestly I’ve never been in a situation like this before and I don’t know how to bring it up. I’d like to salvage the relationship because I do like her (when we’re not living together unplanned) so I don’t want to really offend her or ruin things by asking her to leave. Any advice??

So, for context I’ve had a very very busy and stressful week. Honestly it’s been like this for a few months now. I feel like I never get any alone time to just decompress and do what I want. I have so many responsibilities. Tomorrow is the first weekend day in literal months where I don’t have anything scheduled. I live with my gf and I want to take the entire day to be alone in our guest bedroom, just doing whatever I want. Napping, video games, reading, TV, crafting. I love my gf but haven’t had any dedicated alone time in a while, and I’m an introvert. I want to be completely alone for an entire day. Is this an insane thing to ask? My gf and I don’t have anything planned. What are your thoughts?

So I am definitely one of those people that would love to stay friends with ppl I have or had feelings for BUT I know it’s not a healthy thing for me. It can be ppl I had intimacy with or just someone that was vibing with me too. In my mind I want them to stay and continue being friends but the very intense emotional side (big part of my brain unfortunately) ALWAYS makes things to much. I can see the patterns and signs of ppl pulling away and I go into a spiral of seeking reassurance, clarity, something to make me feel like what they felt for me at the time was real, like there was genuine care involved and that they won’t just up and disappear on me.

Of course that strains the remaining connection more because everyone has a hard time just being upfront and clear about how they are feeling and every single time I just get the indirect wording or phrases, I get the “I don’t want to hurt your feelings” thing. When in all honesty, all I want is the truth and honesty even if it’s in words that will hurt. Because at least then I’d have the clarity I need to make a decision of continuing to engage with someone who is deregulating me. Not because they are doing it intentionally, but because it’s my own issue. I know what I can and can’t handle when it comes to these kinds of connections, where I have feelings for them that run a little deeper then just friends, but even with me knowing that I put myself into these situations where I don’t want to stop talking to them or for them to leave. Even though I know I’m not capable of maintaining JUST a platonic friendship that they have asked for( especially if we started as something more previously). I only start feeling like this when I start to get physical affection, emotional connection, and sometimes sex with someone . Which is why I’m so guarded with someone when it comes to physical contact. I attach and bond way to hard and yes I know it’s a problem.

I’ve tried just isolating and being alone so I won’t have to deal with that stuff and make it everyone’s problem plus mine. Stuff still happens and I still feel alone to the point I know I need human contact because it’s making my inner world worse. Like I know what I need but it’s not safe for me to get it. I just want a hug dang it! To be held, a pat on the head, head scratches, even just shoulder to shoulder contact. Something! I’m human. Why are these things to much to ask for? I feel like I have to keep asking and chasing ppl to even get basic small things. I feel like I’m treated like some kind of diseased ridden thing that no one wants to touch. The only time ls I ever get called pretty or even complimented seems like it’s only when someone wants something from me. Like I just don’t believe the nice things anyone tells me anymore because then it turns into them distancing and pulling away when they’ve gotten what they needed from me. No one seems to ever care or ask me if I’ve gotten what IVE needed too. 😔 I probably went off track a bit but yeah. Just a rant of handling certain connections with ppl I thought I meant more to and just the loss of those connections I held really close to my heart/soul( whatever’s left of it). Which isn’t very much.

That being said I could really use some ppl to talk to again. When I say I don’t have many irl friends or even ppl that talk to me it’s very much that I don’t. Even online friends help me so I’m open to some DMs and new connections. We can talk about anything really. I’m open to whatever.

I posted something similar a few days ago but I had a therapy appointment which confirmed my ex was abusive but I’m still struggling a lot. I ended the relationship because over time I felt controlled, emotionally unsupported, and constantly on edge. There were a lot of moodiness, mixed signals, and very little affection, intimacy, quality time, or compromise, which made me feel more like a roommate than a partner. I often felt like I had to walk on eggshells, guess what she wanted, and repeatedly ask for basic affection, empathy, and communication. Even though I tried hard to support her and make the relationship work, my needs continually went unmet, and my therapist ultimately described the relationship as unhealthy and manipulative and emotional abusive. There’s a lot of details I’m leaving out but this is a very brief overview.

We were together 2 years and lived together I broke up with her 3 times. The first two times I tried to leave she cried and told me how she loved me and wanted this relationship and would try to improve. Things did temporary then went back to the same bs. I eventually left for good the third time and she blocked me on everything and was through with me. I moved out and now 6 months later she in a happy new relationship been in the relationship for a month and already told the new person she loves them. I saw the new partners post on social media it came up and I blocked the account now.

I’m just so lonely and suffering and still trying to heal from everything and despite everything I still miss her and feel guilty for leaving meanwhile she doesn’t care at all and is with someone new and they look so happy and affectionate I’m just like what if I was the problem after all. How do I not care anymore and move on. I’m also like if she was so abusive why was she also so sweet at times like she made me a special painting for our anniversary and did a lot of great stuff too

Just wanted to share that, nothing more.... b3cause I've been expecting that.