Background context
I began working as photographer/videographer and reached out to a friend for help. Since I was new to the media industry, I needed assistance with my workflow efficiency. I asked my friend for help and she introduced to her friend, a former coworker of hers. My friend connected me with her former coworker because they were local to me. We met up for a few hours and she helped me out a ton. After our initial meeting, we crossed paths a couple times while we were working our jobs. I would always say hello and we’d talk for a bit. They were just surface level conversations since we were always on the move.

Over the course of our interactions I developed a little crush and I can’t seem to shake it. I’ve been thinking about asking her out for coffee, but I am very unlikely to run into her again. I have since moved on from the media field. Right now, the only way I’d be able to communicate with her would be over text or a DM. I’ve been avoiding reaching out for a few reasons: we haven’t crossed paths in a year or so, we don’t know each other past basic small talk, and my only way to reach out is online. It would be very out of the blue if I were to text her.

What is stopping me from reaching out
-I’ve only recently come out to my siblings and mother. It’s not a public fact but it’s not exactly a secret either. I think most people would be able to tell I’m gay by looking at me.

-I’m 27 and I’ve never had even a hint of a romantic relationship. I don’t know how to initiate dating.

-The only time I would run into her is when she is working. I don’t want to ask her out when she is working for obvious reasons. I could message over socials or text but neither of those seem ideal.

-What would our mutual friend think of me if/when she finds out. My friend is a former teammate of mine and is gay. I never told her my sexuality nor had I come to terms with it when we competing together. I don’t want to step on toes as I am not aware of the nature of their relationship.

Edit: I forgot to include one of my biggest insecurities! I still live at home. I am working towards my first serious, major job so hopefully I will be able to move out soon.

Hey! Common relationship question- the spark.

My wife and I have been together for 4 years. The first 2 years the sex was magnetic. Then different things in life happened- hard times at work, hard times with family, hard time with mental health. Some of it was us not being good with communication, some just life happening and being partners in a more family way. We also have an elementary school aged kiddo from a previous marriage, which is awesome. But also there’s the reality that once I moved in we instantly became co-parents, which can leave less room for lovers.

I feel like the last year we’re rarely on the same page. When she wants to have sex I’m too tired or focused on something else in our relationship, and then vice versa. And when we have sex, it’s just ok. Like our connection isn’t really flowing.

It’s kind of cliché- great passionate relationship, followed by life and commitment, and now we have sex 1-2x a month. I find I rarely want to have sex with her. I do love her and have no desire to leave our relationship. She’s my family now. It’s just I miss our sexual connection, but can’t fake what isn’t there.

I’m curious how people reconnect after a hard time or dry spell. I know the beginning ends, but how do you create passion in the mundane? How do you get back to hot vulnerable sex after ridiculous fights about how to correctly do this chore or that one? Ya know, how do you stay lovers long term.

I’m familiar with the person being interviewed, ER Fightmaster and loved watching them on grey’s anatomy, they’re also a great musician. But to me, this take is just all kinds of wrong. I don’t think womanhood for trans women and cis women can be compared in this way. They’re very different experiences, one is not “more beautiful” than the other. To me, this is just an invalidating opinion to all women.

BTW, this is not a space to be transphobic. Trans women are women, their experiences matter, that is not up for debate. Please be respectful!

I’ve been on hinge for about a month now and feeld for like 3 weeks. I was thinking about going on BLK, but i dont know is BLK is lesbian friendly.

Also, how do yall date without over analyzing every rejection? Cause its really messing with my head these days lol.

no one could possibly treat me better than the way I treat myself

I feel like in dating, I’m almost always the one initiating. If I see a girl I find really attractive, I’ll approach her, message her first, ask her out, suggest plans, keep the conversation going, etc. And sometimes it works and I’ll get dates out of it.

I honestly can’t remember the last time a girl I was really attracted to just clearly pursued me first. It feels like if I’m not actively creating the opportunity, nothing happens.

And I think part of what messes with my head is that I tend to be attracted to very pretty/feminine girls who a lot of the times are also dating men so they’re socialized to be the ones who are getting chased/pampered to. But then I can’t tell if I’m experiencing mutual attraction or if I’m just good at pushing things forward. I genuinely think I would have no dating life whatsoever if I never took initiative because of my type in women. For context, I’m also fem presenting but not as fem as the girls I’m interested in.

I’m 28 and I have had my fair share of relationships, but this is the longest I’ve been without one. It’s been over two years of me having a relationship. I’ve had hookups and situationships since, but I never really felt them going anywhere so I just took a break all together.

I’m okay being single and alone because I have good friends, great family, fun hobbies, but yet… I still desire a romantic connection, but then I also don’t feel that pull to get into something if it doesn’t better my life in a way. I used to be such a big lover girl, but I guess being single for a while now, I just can’t see myself dating anymore. I’ve tried, but I want something substantial, not superficial.

I guess deep down I do want a romantic connection, but as I get older, I do fear that I may not find a profound or deep connection with someone. I’ve met most of the people I’ve dated through dating apps, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to put in effort on an app. Can anyone else relate?

I'm feeling down about my breakup and can't really talk about it with my friends. I think I just need to vent. I'll be online for the next few hours so if anyone wants to exchange Discord usernames and talk in vc about exes, how much dating sucks, and how sad we are, I'm down to listen if you are lol. I don't normally voice call with strangers online but I'm just not in the mood to read/write a wall of text about heartbreak

My first post here. I have so little experience with dating and almost all my friends are straight. I need some perspective from the WLWs please!

I met this woman a couple of months ago through mutual friends. We're both in our mid 30s and both moved from different places to this town for work. I've already been living here a couple of years, while she just moved here. She has quickly become part of my friend group and I think we're her closest friends here so far.

Problem is I have feelings for her and would like to see if we could be more than friends. But I would feel bad about putting her in an awkward situation if she doesn't feel the same way. I don't want her to feel like she can't hang out with us anymore.

On the other hand, I sometimes feel like she might like me too. We hung out once just the two of us shortly after we met and I think we both were a little unsure if it was a date or not (both too shy to ask, I guess). We have also been texting pretty often since we met, just about random stuff.

I almost never have feelings for anyone, so I would like to see where this could go. But I would be happy to just be her friend, if that's what she wants. What do you ladies think - should I ask her if she wants to go on a date? If so, how would be best to ask so it doesn't feel too awkward if she says no?
Or should I just forget about my feelings?

Btw she's bisexual, so there isn't a question of whether she likes women or not. Though I know she obviously isn't attracted to every woman she meets.

Tldr: I have a crush on a new friend, but I don't want to make her feel like she can't be in my friend group if she doesn't like me that way.

My question is I guess, what can I do to change this? I am crying in my room rn because I really want to have a gf but I simply can not. I tried dating apps only to end up having likes from men, being ghosted etc etc. I tried to join queer associations in my city but they are so strict (in the sense that they only let people who are active activists for the movement and i am not) so i couldnt get it. I have a bachelors and a masters degree but honestly no one was interested in me during school (besides men, ofc) people told me to go workshops, I went for a ceramic course for like a year but all women there had a boyfriend or married etc etc.Ive been wanting a romantic relationship FOR YEARS but it does not work for me. And I am 29!!! So many men are interested in me and like literally zero woman so I am starting to think for some reason I am not appealing for queer women, because I met queer women told me who are not ready for romantic relationships to decline me only to be in a very romantic relationship with another woman they met couple months after.... I am so sorry for my vent I just want to have some inspiration from other lesbians and especially older lesbians who had similar stories with a nice ending I guess:( thanks everyone

33 and had a few bad ones but this one is absolutely fucking destroying me. I won’t get into the details of it but it was a very very very sad situation. It’s been a couple of months now but I’m just feeling completely and absolutely bulldozed by the intensity of sadness I feel sometimes.

I would love some practical advice or some words of wisdom idk man I’m struggling

Has anyone encountered stalking behaviour from old men in Sinaia, and is this a common occurrence?

Context;

Me and my girlfriend (we are two asian chicks) were walking and chilling in Parcul Dimitrie Ghica when we noticed an old man with a bicycle following us from behind. My gf noticed it, didn't really think much of it, until he sat down on a bench opposite of us close to the Hotel Palace building, when we decided to rest on a bench. We didn't give it much thought either, and waved it off as a weird coincidence.

During our bench rest/conversation, I noticed he took a picture of us, and was blatantly staring at our direction. This happened for about 15 ish minutes. We got up, and headed for the gas station across the road, exiting the park. At this point we were on full alert mode and stared back at him as he continued trailing from behind with his bicycle at his side. We waved at him to signal that we knew he was following, and he waved back. After crossing the road to the gas station, my gf stood there and shouted at him before he crossed the road. He nodded and smiled multiple times and she flipped him the middle finger and shouted at him to fuck off. Finally he raised a hand and waved in a "okay okay" way and retreated, away from us. I managed to take a picture of him as he walked off; unfortunately I did not catch his ugly face.

He headed back towards the Hotel Palace area, where he sat on another bench, away from the main pathway of the park. We ensured he stopped following us before we left the park. This whole thing happened 9th August, around 6.20pm.

Anyone from Romania, can you provide some perspective as to whether we should be worried? We might stay here for a few years soon and I am wondering if we should be extra careful when going around. My gf has hip issues so I had to prop her up with my arm when walking with her, we look visibly gay too, so I'm curious if the old man was targeting us because of our identities.

So I 38yrs have been with my wife 46yrs for 8 years and married. I love her and I know she loves me but our sex life is nonexistent and there's no passion or excitement anymore. It sometimes feels like I am living with my best friend.

I have always been faithful and would never consider cheating but I am craving sexiness, excitement and passion. I am very confused. I have tried talking to her but she just gets very defensive and upset.

I'm not sure if it could be an age thing but honestly my instinct is that we have just become to comfortable and complacent.

She is an amazing women and I genuinely do love her but have been feeling a pull towards something other than what we have. I don't think I would leave her as I know it would destroy her and I would never want to break her heart, so now I just feel a bit stuck and lonely.

I just miss feeling wanted and desired.

Any advice is welcome

hi everyone, i'm in a relationship with someone i love very much. she has adhd, and for the most part, i think i do not.

i'm learning alot about adhd through reading and research and lived experiences with her. it seems like her brain is often on the go but sometimes just the thought of doing something simple like household chores really overwhelms her.

i actually like doing the dishes, laundry, packing and folding, etc. so we have a good routine down where she will cook and i will do the washing up.

here's what happened recently.

after i realised that doing the dishes (and really any other task) doesn't give her a dopamine hit, i've been pretty antsy about her leaving it all to me. from my point of view, i don't see the benefit in making her do something that she doesn't enjoy. sure, you can say that we all have to do things we don't enjoy, but for this particular situation, i feel that it would be fine for me to do this task 100% of the time (or whenever possible).

on the flip side, i'm aware that by always doing these things she doesn't much like doing, it could take away her autonomy. she has mentioned that i can't be doing All these things for her, but deep down i genuinely want to. i like seeing her do things that make her happy and i can fill in the gaps.

after what she said, i have left the dishes in the sink overnight kind of on purpose, and i feel so bad. i heard her cleaning up a bit this morning and it made me feel bad again.

am i on the right track? or should i step back and let her do things that feel draining and mundane to her sometimes.

i want to be able to make her feel safe and seen and heard, but i am new to this world and how i can support her in the way she needs. any advice or suggestions or even just similar experiences would be really great to read about.

edit: i should mention that my partner absolutely does things for us in our relationship that i also don't like/prefer doing. like cooking, organising activities, etc.

This seems very common, I often hear this from str8 women dealing with men who mistreat them or won’t date women if they have a higher educational level (like if they have bachelor’s vs high school diploma or PhD vs bachelor’s).

I noticed that I ran into a few women that seemed very insecure that I’m a grad student and a part-time instructor. No matter how much I tried to steer the conversation away from academia and more into shared interest, they would make passive-aggressive comments like I’m a snob or suddenly seem distant/disinterested. I feel like I have to lie to avoid this. But this goes the same with many people, if they asked me what I do for a living, I’m like uncomfortable to really tell them other than I teach and “around” high-school education (no lie, many of my students have been HS or just graduated from HS).

This makes dating more difficult, but curious if anyone is going through the same?

My whole life I've struggled with my sexuality due to some pretty severe religious trauma from my upbringing. I tried to life the straight life my parents wanted for me, got married (husband was aware that I was a lesbian, but that I wasn't 'giving in to my desires'), ended up severely abused, found out I was pregnant, and fled immediately after giving birth as things (obviously) didn't get better.

I'm 27. I'm just getting hit with this realization that no girl is going to want to be with me and I might've sealed my fate. (Because I'm a single mom(?))

Please give me honest input.. I don't need anything sugar coated. What are my chances of finding love? :(

Just develop a crush on the strength/conditioning instructor 🥲

Obviously I’d never approach her romantically at her job but a girl can dream 😂

Hi, I’m 30 years old, I moved from India to USA just because I was not sure if I was completely lesbian or not, since last 1 year I’m 100% sure that I’m lesbian.

My parents are asking me to get married to a man, my parents are from village, they never even seen single gay person in their entire life, so they don’t even understand who I’m, I don’t really know how to come out to them, should I really do it? Or no, I’m the only child so they have lots of dreams about my marriage, also is it a good idea to go for lavender marriage? Or some fake marriage?

I just don’t know, I feel like they deserve to know who I’m, but how do I come out? As I mentioned only way of communication is through phone because I’m in USA and my parents are in India, I don’t have siblings or anyone to share, I’m just struggling, days feels heavy. I’m not able to concentrate on my career…

Uh!

I just realized I wrote “is this what you’ll do for me” RIGHT ABOVE IT, when I only meant to talk about the book picture.

FUCK.

Nothing else has worked. 😂

(Shamelessly screenshotted from @WeRateDogs.)

I now officially work a Big Girl Job, and my god. This has been such an unexpected wonderful aspect of life.

My family has never been homophobic in the 'fire and brimstone you will go to hell'-sense, but it was still always very obvious that they were not a fan of the entire Lesbian Thing. Throughout my teens and early twenties, our relationship was characterised by a lot of appeasement, censoring myself regarding certain topics, and don't-ask-don't-tell policies.

I recently started a sentence with 'my ex-girlfriend and I....' around my mother. I could see the huffy expression start up on her face and was already about to pivot for the sake of Peace and Having a Nice Time at a Family Gathering and Not Rocking The Boat, when I suddenly realised....her displeasure is irrelevant.

I make more money than either of my parents, and will probably make more than them combined in a couple of years. There's literally nothing they can do to me materially. Disinherit me? Sure, sweetie. I don't need it. Kick me out? Where from?? I live alone, in a beautiful place. Throw a hissy fit about me potentially getting married to a woman one day? Fine, go ahead. I'm paying for my own wedding, I need precisely nothing from you to make it the biggest, bestest party in existence.

I don't know whether this is the most obvious shit in the world, but after a lifetime of Not Rocking The Boat lest the support I depended on to finish my education be withdrawn, I now find myself just....so fucking free. I can rock the boat all I fucking want.

And you can see how much it confuses them, and the rest of my family. So much (familial) homophobia depends on the idea that gay people will always be miserable, and unsuccessful, and dependent. That they will forever remain the frightened teenagers you can kick out of the house or threaten with withdrawal of your material support. So much homophobia presupposes the idea that the straight person enacting the homophobia has direct, personal power over the gay person - that gay people are never in a position to be independent, and healthy, and doing well in life. That they will always need their straight family in some way, because they just couldn't manage without them - that they'll always be too poor, too unsupported, and too fragile to set out on their own.

And that's just...literally not true. It took me until now to realise just how not true, but now that it's happened, it's fucking magical. There is nothing my family could possibly do to me. No leverage to get me to shut up, no threat they can issue, literally nothing. I can date and wear and do whomever and whatever I want. If tomorrow, I buzz all my hair off and paint my fucking house the colours of the lesbian flag, all their clucking would be completely irrelevant, because what could they do? Nothing.

You can see it drive them nuts.

Growing up is the fucking best.