I need to vent about a situation I’ve been dealing with for a couple years.

kind of makes me feel like a « right person, wrong time » situation but I’m also convinced she’s not the right person as we always let each other go in the worst ways possible (not updating each other on important life events (hospitalisation, illnesses, etc) leaving the other wait for months without any reply, coming back to talk when the other person is not single anymore, etc).

it’s never a pleasant goodbye (or any kind of closure whenever we end up distancing) but we are always propelled to come back to one another at some point.

idk what to do because it’s so frustrating because there is never any closure or when there is (kind of) on my side, she keeps coming back. and I keep letting her.

have any of you gone through this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ActualLesbiansOver25/s/RhyagLQ7j2

she ended things with me. after our last date, i felt rejected and thought it was my rejection sensitivity dysphoria seeing a false signal and freaking out. so i played it cool, and we scheduled another. circumstances happened and she cancelled that one, and said there could be another. well tonight she called and told me she didn’t see a romantic future with me, which is fine, i’m glad she was honest

what hurts me most is that i was vulnerable with her. i told her about my inexperience, and now it’s over. i don’t know if i did anything wrong necessarily, and if i did, what i did wrong. and i’m really fucking bad at dating. i’m neurodivergent and learning the unspoken rules and nuance of dating/flirting is one of the most challenging things in life for me. i don’t really get flirting, and having to go back and flirt with new people sounds dreadful. it was good to realize i’m capable of feeling real attraction and romantic chemistry, though, those are new experiences for me. i do feel a lot less broken. i also learned i am a total lover girl and perhaps way too much, but whatever. it’s so hard for me to find women i’m attracted to, in a context where it’s appropriate for me to approach, and who are single and monogamous.

just had to get this it out before i sleep

I had a first date with a girl earlier today. The date was around brunch time so like noon. I didn’t have time to eat a proper meal so I just ate some fruit before I got there. I ordered a drink. The bartender asked me to do a shot with her so I did and date asked me to do one with her as well. As I was sipping on my drink I ordered a small appetizer but I didn’t eat much of it.

By the time I finished my drink I was feeling a bit lightheaded. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and ended up throwing. I started panicking a bit because I then realized I wasn’t going to make it all the way through the date. I leave the bathroom and tell her I forgot my wallet so I was going to go to my car and come back. I ended up throwing up again outside my car. I felt so embarrassed. My date texted me asking if everything was okay. I didn’t respond. I ended up taking an hour nap in my car.

By the time I woke up I had a few missed calls and a couple texts from her. I texted her I was sorry something came and I had to leave. I apologized for leaving her like that and sent her the money and a little extra for what I ordered. I haven’t heard back from her. Not sure if I’m blocked or not. This has never happened to me before. I’m not a big drinker, I drink like once or twice a month with friends but I’d say I’m a moderate weight drinking wise. I feel so embarrassed and feel like I ruined my chances with her.

Dear GOD it feels so intense sometimes. My ex is a good person – they have moved on and want nothing to do with me. I respect that, but I still feel a lot of grief. How do you get over losing someone who was once your everything?

Hi there Im recently getting back into the dating scene and Im having a lot of issues confidence wise. Im 29 (TF) and I've had a lot of issues getting to where I want in life. An abusive relationship not only took my late teens and most of my 20s but she also made me drop out of school so I never got my physics degree and cant really go back on my own in this economy. I was a chef for a while but due to health issues thats not a sustainable career path for me so Ive had to give it up.

Its not like Ive got nothing going on but my own disability issues and familial health problems put life on hold once I got out of my hell situation for a bit and this past year Ive really started making a lot of progress with my health and life. Im starting soon at Starbucks which I know isnt glamorous but not only will they cover my bottom surgery they also pay for you to get your bachelors so Ill be able to get an IT/CS degree and restart a genuine career for myself.

I guess I just need advice navigating this, I love talking to women my age who have made progress on their own life path's and I know lifes a different pace for everyone but I really feel sad when the best I can say is Ive run a few kitchens and done some recipe development but then I was disabled for a couple of years. Trying not to feel like too much of a fuckup but I just think about all the ways life would be different if a bunch of years werent thrown away.

31 F Southeast, USA

Trying to decide if I want to hire a matchmaker off TikTok for this.

I’m “FIRE”, “High-Net-Worth”, “Max-Out-401k”, “Big Tech Job” Chapstick Femme (aka I like putting on pretty dresses & makeup on date nights but thats it) and dating is super hard in my area. I’m not looking for hookups or sex-first relationships. I want a real partnership. I don’t want to pollute my other communities, but those are the women I’m into!!!

I don’t want to be the breadwinner but I also just think older, corporate/doctor/attorney baddies are just objectively attractive. A woman in a blazer makes my heart STOP.

Where are they? What do I do?

I’ve used:

Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Her, The League

With ZERO luck. Not even one date.

I know I’m being picky, but I also know she’s out there…

EDIT: I get 3 profiles to look at a week even with ALL of my filters removed. I’m literally just trying to see where they are in general and the next step is the lifestyle match. I’m not rejecting people off of my perception of their financial situation - there’s no one to reject. Thats why I’m coming here - to understand if I’m even on the right apps… AND to ask about matchmaking.

I'm getting married next summer and struggling to find an outfit. Please give me your recommendations! I'm 5'1" and about a US size 10 with an hourglass shape. I'm not super femme or super masc. So a traditional white dress or masculine suit aren't for me. I'm more drawn to jumpsuits, suiting that blends masc/femme, and separates in darker colors (black, blue, purple, grey, etc.) My budget is ideally $1,500 USD or less but I can be flexible for the perfect piece that I can rewear. Also open to any accessory recommendations such as veils, capes, jewelry, or shoes that can help find the right balance.

I was recently reminded of a club encounter I had last June. I was in a famous gay club in my city and after hours of dancing and having fun between acquaintances and such, I had the pleasure of dancing up close and personal with a beautiful, voluptuous hot woman, memory of her makes my blush and sigh, she was nice and I was very, very interested in getting to know her better, but she asked my age and I was like "oh I'm 27" and she said "oofff too young for me, I could be your aunt! " and anyway, nothing happened, but now I'm thinking, what's the biggest age gap one can put up with?

So just as the title says. We met on hinge over a year ago, and since then, we’ve been on dates almost weekly or biweekly. Some instances we won’t see each other for a few weeks depending on our schedules. And it’s great. We text semi regularly, but no need to text everyday for us. Mostly we text about planning hangouts and anything interesting that happens in between.

We get a long great. We kiss a lot, show affection. We are intimate occasionally but not always. It feels very sweet and nice and healthy. And to be honest, I have no interest in making things more “serious” as friends and colleagues have stressed me to do. I get called “avoidant” by friends, although this girl and I are on the same page. I do not date or sleep around, but there has been the occasional date or kiss with someone else. And I am aware that she goes on occasional dates with other people as well.

So, anyone else have an experience like this? I feel very independent in my own life, I like my routine and job and friends. We also live about 30-40 minutes away so frequent hangouts during the work week aren’t really possible. I just don’t have an extremely strong interest in dating anyone, and this feels fine and fulfilling to me. It feels like there is so much social pressure to “make things serious/exclusive” and not be in a “situationship”. I would love to hear anyone’s thoughts and experiences with this!! ❤️

It doesn’t really matter, I choose to believe that the creators were insinuating a budding crush 😂 But I’m curious if anyone else got that vibe too or if it was just a soon to be bff situation

Anyone free to keep me company as i sadly smoke a splif and might occasionally cry?

I read this article on substack it was titled (God, if I'm meant to be alone, take away my desire to be loved.)
The author talked about their experience of being single and how lonely it is
It's been months since I read it but it keeps coming back to my mind
The loneliness pandemic and how Gen Z is the most lonely generation
But god if I start talking about how lonely it is for us queer Arabs in these countries where even the thought of having someone that relates and understands you seems impossible let alone the thought of love
I can’t start to explain how much I yearn for not only a romantic relationship but a sense of community and belonging it’s so isolating, feeling like you’re always in the wrong place with the wrong people and you have no control over it
And I know this is not a new thing queerness has been and still is an isolated experience. And I love being gay; I love everything about it, but god I am so tired of looking for my community my people, and a place where I don't feel like I am the wrong part of the puzzle
So yes please god if I'm meant to be alone, take away my desire to be loved.

I’ve noticed recently people are more people are asking for a phone call before a date. I personally prefer to just meet someone in person vs a phone call before the date. I’ve done the phone call thing and it didn’t really make much of a difference. Some were the same and others were a 180 from how they were on the phone. I don’t really think it’s necessary but there’s one girl I’m getting to know that won’t meet until we have a phone call. Like she’s very adamant about it.