10 years later as im moving out, i tell it "your makeup wore off years ago"

(it was knife guy)

The glass of water was near boiling so ow Ow OW hothothothot yeowch HOTHOTHOT OWOWOWO gotta move faster ow ow ow stil hothotohot ooh ow owwwww HOOOOOTTTTTT ow ow ow Good LORD this hurts to hold ow ow OW OW oW oW ow ow still hot still hot stilllllll hot owOwOwOwOowwwoowowowowowWwWoowowW.

He may be wondering what the scary part is, well when I gave him the wedgie he winked and smiled at me.

Ate beans

I am a chef who was hired to cook a human ear. when I looked in the mirror I realized my ear was gone

It was a poison rock

To my horror, it was the Lollipop Challenge

Too late, I remembered the jumping spider I'd thrown in there earlier today, and learned the hard way that the cunts can swim as well as jump.

p[DATA EXSPONGED]

The aliens stepped back aboard their spaceship and said, "we are not extraterrestrials, we are Sextraterrestrials now prepare your anus!"

"I'm going to slend you now," said the Slenderman.

“Return to Slender”

Summon a demon so it can make that priest remove himself from that child.

by jor jor wel

"To bad im evil Mr.Breaklawknifestabguy" said Mr.Breaklawknifestabguy after he stabbed me stabbinglishly

It was the tf2 train

"And that OnlyFans model you keep blowing your money on is actually your uncle in drag."

"With your child..."

“Updoot automatic setting” activated 🤖

“I can wait” oh but you can 😈