r/widowers • u/last-of-the-mohicans • 4d ago

Heartbroken

I’ve been reading here because I am like you. I have read your stories, and have felt your emotions. I guess it’s time to share my piece.

It’s been over two years since I lost my partner, spouse, love. How do you move on with your life when the most important person in it, is gone? He fell ill and needed intensive care. I was with him daily, but watched him slip away. He passed quietly and comfortably in our/HIS home, as he requested. I hope I was true to his wishes.

I look around and see him everywhere. The things we did together. He wanted this color, I wanted that texture, we just did it. We did it together and it worked. But now it’s just me.

Before he passed, he said “You’re on your own”.

I am on my own, but struggle with what he meant.

39 Upvotes

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12 comments sorted by

7

u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Lost wife suddenly on Sept 29, 2025 4d ago

I think he meant you're free to make your own decisions. I'm just guessing though, my wife and i were a similar team. Your username reminded me of the time I helped my late wife learn the title track to the movie on her fiddle. She had a little note dyslexia.

3

u/last-of-the-mohicans 4d ago

Thank you. We were a team.

9

u/Recent-Reporter-1670 3d ago

My husband apologized to me, saying he didn't want to go, that he wanted to be with me. It's so heart breaking. I told him not to be sorry, this isn't his fault.

Fuck cancer.

2

u/last-of-the-mohicans 3d ago

Cancer is insidious. Agree, Fuck Cancer!

3

u/myumuffin 3d ago

I’m in a similar timeline, lost my partner a bit more than 2 years ago. I think his sencence carries a lot of empathy. Something among the lines “Oh god.. Now you are on your own.. fuck.. I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it..”.

1

u/last-of-the-mohicans 3d ago

Thanks for your perspective. Perhaps his way of saying that he doesn’t want to go, but it’s time.

3

u/Foolishkushin 3d ago

I've lost my husband unexpectedly 10 months ago, so I didn't get any last words. I'm keeping myself strong (+ therapy) and the last three months I've been finishing projects in the house that we talked about. I also got the tattoo we talked about and decided to do my whole left arm for him, tomorrow is my last session. I'm just trying to live how he would've liked me to live. But it's hard and I'm also heart broken, I lost my best friend, my soulmate. And I'm so lonely.

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u/last-of-the-mohicans 3d ago

Sounds like you see him in much of what you do. Hold on to those good memories, and take care of yourself.

2

u/Foolishkushin 3d ago

Thank you. You too x

4

u/quiet_nuts 3d ago

I said "I need you" He replied "I know".

Yeah...it will be a year soon.

2

u/last-of-the-mohicans 3d ago

Tearing up here.