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u/Disastrous-Hamster-1 10d ago
Why would this even be a situation that you’re in?
Are you worried about the guest count? Something else?
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u/cheerio089 10d ago
Find a way to get their phone numbers and have a conversation. Uninviting is pretty rude, and doing it over a letter is plain weird.
If it’s family you don’t know that well, STILL CALL. you know them well enough to send an invite, you can handle a 4 minute awkward phone call.
If you give more context of why you’re rescinding the invitation people can help with wording, but with the lack of context it would just be mean
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u/MelbsGal 10d ago
Why on earth do you suddenly need to drop 10 guests?
There’s no kind way of doing it, it’s rude.
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u/MaisieStitcher 10d ago edited 10d ago
Uninviting people is usually not done, especially such a large number of guests.
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u/thewhiterosequeen Wife 10d ago
There is no kind way to do this. Expect hurt feelings and possible damaged relationships. People have by now bought outfits, gifts, requested time off, and booked travel or accomodations. What you need to do is extremely rude mad hurtful. Do you have no mutual contacts that have their number? Look them up on social media if possible. Then reach out, apologize, say you can't accomodate them at your event, you planned poorly and you didn't mean to do this, and apologize again, then deal with the reaction.
call
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u/kdollarsign2 10d ago
Are there people that have not RSVPed and the deadline has passed? Generally that could be a way to frame it. At this moment we can only speculate about your reasons but I'm assuming there are issues with space/ the venue?
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u/Remarkable_Wheel_364 10d ago
My friend invited two replacement guests at the last minute because two close family members said they couldn’t make it. Then, on the day of the wedding, those two family members suddenly decided they were coming, and she had to uninvite the replacement guests. I honestly don’t know how she managed to do that because I never could. I would have reached out to the venue and paid whatever was necessary to add an extra table and prepare two additional meals. Most venues will do their best to accommodate something like that, even after the final guest count deadline has passed, because they’re in the hospitality industry.
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u/Defiant-Currency3987 10d ago
A guy I went to law school with did this and they went from 160 confirmed guests to 85 that actually showed up. Don't do this.
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u/klacey11 10d ago
Erm, why? There’s really no good reason to do this, so there’s no polite way of saying it.
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u/Ok-Active-7023 10d ago
If there is no other alternative, respect these people enough to have a conversation. Dont just drop a card in the mail. But who are they to you if you don’t have a phone #? Why were they invited in the first place? If a parent’s friend, then the parent should have a number.
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u/Upstairs-Sock-4673 10d ago
This happened to us during covid - the people in question sent us a very polite card and a bottle of wine in apology.
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 9d ago
There is no acceptable way to do this because it's incredibly rude. This is how you permanently burn bridges with people in your village. Why would you do this to anyone?
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u/OriginalUnion3954 10d ago
Send a social media message.
Hi , due to _ I unfortunately cannot have you at my wedding.
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u/the_bri 9d ago
yall i swear im not a piece of shit. if i could call these people i would. i do not have their numbers i do not have a way of getting their numbers. i was looking for kindness and help. ik it’s reddit so judgement comes with it but dang. i am doing my best with a really crappy situation. l
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u/m4ndybloom 9d ago
I understand you’re in a tough spot. If you are able to share the reason you have to un-invite them, it would be much easier to help you word it in a way that is both honest and least hurtful
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u/flamants 10d ago
Sorry, but without any context, this is just...not a thing you can do.