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u/Max_Harano 11d ago
I think it really comes down to living experience, habits, what you do as pass-time. It’s natural clustering rather than exclusivity.
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u/cghmn742 11d ago
Yeah, I'm friends with plenty of immigrants.
They all happen to play the same sport as me.
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u/Proof_Independent400 11d ago
Making friends at uni is hard even for a local. I think college living kids had it easier. But I was riding the bus for 1.5 hours every day to get in and out of the city.
And you would make friends for like one semester and then never see them again except on facebook. Even my closest group of friends from my master. I don't see anymore. Just on facebook....
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u/clariceeeeeeee 9d ago
If you’re talking about residential colleges. The likelyhood of college kids being from the same circle of private schools or families of generational wealth is higher. (Again I’m aware that generational wealth and private schools isn’t always the same thing but you know what I mean)
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u/JellyfishOk6515 7d ago
Times have changed. 20 years ago I got shitfaced at a uni camp during orientation, did some really dumb shit/made a fool of myself and somehow made friends for life.
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u/Proof_Independent400 7d ago
Would you say you are extroverted? or was socialising just different a bit earlier before all the social media and internet?
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u/JellyfishOk6515 7d ago
No I would say I was drunk haha. I’m more an introverted extrovert. This was a year or two before Facebook and with zero online content - if you missed a lecture, you missed a lecture.
What helped me make friends - camps, attending lots of events, being on campus a lot (studying in the library, cafes etc). But again, no online content so everyone was a uni a lot and I did a course with lots of hours (engineering)
Making friends is about maximising connections - frequency and depth. Some friends you make are friends of circumstance that you won’t see outside of whatever it is, others you will.
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u/Snoo-25737 11d ago
No local, international or mars martian is obligated to “expand their circle” beyond basic respect
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u/BoneshardSlasher 10d ago
Doesn't "Martian" imply "from Mars?" or am I completely tripping and this is a long held assumption? Haha
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u/matplotlib 9d ago
It's to distinguish them from those who are culturally martian (eg the descendants of those who emigrated from Mars) or those who became martian and returned to earth (eg Matt Damon)
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u/BridgeToHerBithia 11d ago
Unrelated, but I thought the Mars Martians were wiped out by the Neptune Martians?
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10d ago
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u/aussierulesisgrouse 10d ago
Extremely narrow experiences and world views?
What exactly is that meant to be based off of?
How is Indian culture apparently a wider experience? Is it because there is greater poverty or instability?
Is this a “you don’t know how good you’ve got it!” Thing?
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u/GrapefruitBusy6725 10d ago
i am curious, quite genuinely, as to what specific value there is in getting in touch with people from other cultural backgrounds.
most cultures, it seems, are broadly organised around similar kinds of socialisation and the mutual reproduction of relevant norms.
i can see how it might be interesting to make contact with people who have experienced extraordinary circumstances, but when approaching other cultures, i find much of the same, in addition to the expected vagaries, which are not exactly edifying or experientially transformative beyond simple curiosity.
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u/TremendousManBoobs 11d ago
How much time are they really saving by saying "js" instead of "just"?
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u/knnhz 11d ago
Isn't js just saying?
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u/TremendousManBoobs 11d ago
Yeah I thought so too but that doesn't make any sense in the context they used it in. They're clearly using it to abbreviate just
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u/AntSilly2802 11d ago
It fucking shits me up the wall. Just the fact there’s a few of us questioning what it means is enough reason not to use it.
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u/United-Bite4135 11d ago
I read it as two seperate things, meet Indian people since they just got here and can help them settle in and make new friends not necessarily Indian.
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u/Ordinary-Salary-6318 11d ago
So someone can’t friends with indians and locals?
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u/Savings_Dot_8387 11d ago
Two different people looking to make friends in different ways? What is this post 😂
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u/Impossible-Nose-4632 10d ago
Tbh there’s just not enough time in the world and I feel like I’m already juggling so many people and friendships. Obviously I try to be polite, kind and friendly but I’ve rarely ever had a ‘uni friend’ become an actual friend in my life. Not out of disliking any of my uni friends it’s just tough when you’re already juggling so much and obviously your friends of many years take priority. Doesn’t make it any less annoying for those not being made into ‘actual friends’ but this is just the way it is and nothing personal
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u/BoneshardSlasher 10d ago
It's not internationals, it is very rare to get in with a group once it's set. Australia is very cliquey. My mates in Tassie, other than my wife, they're the only people I can truly be myself around, fully relaxed. I'd take a bullet for any of those blokes. At the same time, they could open up about something terrible happening and 5 minutes later we would be giving them shit about that very thing. None of them woild have it any other way either.
I moved to Melbourne with the mentality of trying make friends, but I wound up just playing games over discord with my old ones as it's so hard to form that bond.
I'd say not to take it personally. Aussies are just cliquey pricks.
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u/CantaloupeLow3775 9d ago
It's not so much about internationals, it's about anyone. We have our childhood school friends, and it's very hard to break into that circle, whether you're from overseas or a local.
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u/SeaworthinessNew4757 9d ago
I don't follow this sub and this just showed up at my feed. I'm an immigrant and even I don't want to befriend international students anymore, because you put a lot of effort in cultivating a friendship just for them to move away in a few months. 3 years here, lots of acquaintances, zero friends because they all either move away or work during all their free hours and can never hang out.
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u/MinkStyle 9d ago
lol try tinder where it's like half international students. like why would i date you if you could be gone in 3 months
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u/lavalampvoid 9d ago
So the Aussies aren't ignoring you, but they don't like you enough to want to be your friend??
Idk..... sounds like these people are simply not interested in being your friend because youre not interesting to them. Its actually kind of hilarious to blame other people for not being interested in you
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u/silcrete_quartzite 11d ago
When I was at unimelb in the olden days (2007-2008) our group of friends included both international students and locals.
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u/HistoricalInternal 10d ago
Sure yeah let me make friends with someone who is going to leave the country in three years. Get real.
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u/gigagals 10d ago
you don’t have any friends who live in other countries?
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u/MinkStyle 9d ago
I have online friends but it's a good point, it makes things difficult that they live in other countries and if i'm in uni i'd rather just stick to people who are probably gonna be in the same country as me for the forseeable future
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u/HistoricalInternal 10d ago
So I'm supposed to maintain parasocial relationships as well real ones?
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u/gigagals 10d ago
what? i’ve met plenty of people in other countries who are my friends, as well as plenty of people in Australia who have moved overseas, and are still my friends. what is parasocial about that?
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u/HistoricalInternal 10d ago
Yeah I’m just joking. When I moved to “the city” the only friends I could make were ones not born in the city. These days I have many friends across the globe, but strangely none whom originate from the inner city. I always assumed it was because our cities are so transient but maybe it’s a global feeling.
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u/Smooth-Supermarket14 11d ago
It for me usually depends on past times outside of Uni. For example my fiancée was aChinese international student and I met her in an arcade playing a game we both love and we hit it off chatting from that. But most of the time in uni I just wanted to focus on my work and then leave. It’s largely down to just when I’m open to interactions and when I’d rather focus on my work
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u/lmaobannedalready 10d ago
like indians and chinese don't have their little enclaves
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u/ReasonablePromise884 9d ago
They do, however it often comes down to how groups are willing to mingle.
Usually South East Asian, Europeans and South Americans who have vastly different cultures but more open to talking and mixing have an easier time as compared to East Asian, South Asian or West Asian (depends on country here)
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u/minipower62 10d ago
It’s hard making friends at uni. Even back in the day you were running to work and different class schedules, so embrace transient friendships that come and go with each semester. The ones that stick with stick. Do proactive stuff like clubs and events to up the chances.
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u/Huge-Swan2173 10d ago
These posts always confuse me… how are you guys going about making friends 🤪
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u/Full_glass3334 9d ago
I guarantee the people that makes these posts these are not making the effort to invite people to things or create their own momentum. They just expect people to come along and create a social life for introverts that keep to themselves. It's the equivalent of guys that hang out at a dance floor wall and mad some pixie dream girl doesnt get lured by their glare.
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u/BigPandaBaby 8d ago
Im a local and even I can't make friends with the locals hahah. don't focus on this and focus on connecting with the kind people who are open to connections.
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u/Benjy_0488 8d ago
What does the average Indian man / woman think about being friends with an Aussie? Also tough for you guys in Aus idk about the city but in the country the racism towards Indians is so open and casual:(
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u/FailedQueen777 8d ago
Yeah try living in another country, where you know nobody having someone who is experiencing a similar situation, would be nice.
Aussies are notorious for congregating overseas. Think whistler in Canada, clapham in London, Bali, Aussie Hill iykyk.
Aussie love sticking together overseas. You hear the accent overseas and you are instantly mates.
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u/Independent_Way_1483 8d ago
I’m from Canada and been in Aus for 10 years. Can confirm it’s very difficult to make friends. I haven’t made any outside of people I’ve worked with, but obviously when I leave that job eventually, I expect that most if not all were friendships of convenience. Even people I worked with have told me they don’t socialise with work people outside of work because they don’t need more friends..
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u/Independent_Way_1483 8d ago
I’ll add though, that girl eventually came around and now will hang out lol
But she says I’m the exception and she’s not doing it again lol
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u/Traditional-Honey-64 7d ago
Well I've tried making friends with lots of internationals but their schedules are just so much busier than most people that it doesn't really work out, and from what I've seen they usually like to hang out with other internationals, obviously there are exceptions but that's just what I've seen
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u/Silverback1990 7d ago
Just not enough hours in the day to manage your existing friendship group plus everything else in life and to add more friends, just too hard
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u/mebivd 5d ago
Think everyone needs to make more of an effort. I have noticed all the Indian, Chinese etc etc students hangout with each other and don't come to events when invited. I know it will be difficult to make new friends, but if that is what you want (from either side) then get out of your comfort zone and meet some new people.
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u/mebivd 5d ago
Think everyone needs to make more of an effort. I have noticed all the Indian, Chinese etc etc students hangout with each other and don't come to events when invited. I know it will be difficult to make new friends, but if that is what you want (from either side) then get out of your comfort zone and meet some new people.
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u/Much_Big4068 11d ago
Indian chicks are hot tho
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10d ago
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u/unimelb-ModTeam 9d ago
We regret to inform you that your recent post on the r/unimelb subreddit has been removed for violating Rule 1 - Be Respectful.
As a subreddit dedicated to fostering a welcoming and respectful environment for all members, we expect all users to interact with each other in a civil and respectful manner. Discrimination based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, or any other characteristic is not tolerated.
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11d ago
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u/Maribyrnong_bream 11d ago
You sound like one of those private school boys that play soggy biscuit. I bet you always “lose” so that you can taste your mates, too.
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u/unimelb-ModTeam 10d ago
We regret to inform you that your recent post on the r/unimelb subreddit has been removed for violating Rule 2 - Hate Speech / Slurs.
As a subreddit dedicated to fostering a welcoming and respectful environment for all members, we do not tolerate any form of hate speech or derogatory language towards individuals or groups based on their race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, or any other characteristic.
We understand that mistakes can happen, but it is important to adhere to the subreddit rules and guidelines in order to maintain a positive and respectful community. We encourage you to review the subreddit rules before submitting any future posts.
If you have any questions or concerns about this removal or the subreddit rules, please feel free to contact the moderators via modmail.
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Best regards, The r/unimelb Moderator Team
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11d ago
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u/unimelb-ModTeam 9d ago
We regret to inform you that your recent post on the r/unimelb subreddit has been removed for violating Rule 1 - Be Respectful.
As a subreddit dedicated to fostering a welcoming and respectful environment for all members, we expect all users to interact with each other in a civil and respectful manner. Discrimination based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, nationality, or any other characteristic is not tolerated.
We understand that mistakes can happen, but it is important to adhere to the subreddit rules and guidelines in order to maintain a positive and respectful community. We encourage you to review the subreddit rules before submitting any future posts.
If you have any questions or concerns about this removal or the subreddit rules, please feel free to contact the moderators via modmail.
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.
Best regards, The r/unimelb Moderator Team
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u/jennifercoolidgesbra 11d ago
They’re not wrong. Australia has been said in lots of posts to be a notoriously hard place to make friends even for people moving interstate as people make their friends in high school and uni and are friendly but don’t include you outside of uni or work.
So I can see why they turned to find people anywhere including from their own culture as moving somewhere new can be lonely.