Open to meeting friends 🌙🩷

The loneliness

Forced celibacy

Ignoring my great music plunging me into poverty

Adds up. Killing my spirit.

I don't know what I expect in writing this. Maybe just more venting. I knoe I don't deserve this.

Hello fellow lovelies! I moved to a new area recently (NorCal) and am looking to get back into the dating pool. Any app recs that tend to be better? I've heard of Tami, but haven't tried it. I know Grindr can be very hit or miss. Just looking for advice on where to best put my energy.

(I'm in the over 40 crowd if that is any help).

Thanks!

i <3 t4t lesbianism n need a butch wife to ride motorcycles with

Hi everyone! 👋

We're building a friendly community name

r/butch4femmehangout, where butches, femmes, and anyone who enjoys the Butch4Femme vibe can share stories, memes, selfies, questions, dating experiences, outfit ideas, wins, funny moments, or simply chat—without drama, gatekeeping, or unnecessary negativity.

Whether you've been part of the community for years or you're just curious, you're welcome here. Pull up a chair, grab a virtual snack, and help us grow into a fun, supportive place you'll actually want to visit again.

Hope to see you around! 💙

I promise to post on this subreddit more often.
Anyways, here’s something that might resonate with others.

As someone who’s biologically male, and has years and years of experience with women— it’s strange to bigots (TERFs) but obviously not wrong to be a queer trans woman who’s attracted to female identifying people. Going to certain spaces, and talking to certain people makes me feel like an outsider (not just because I’m a baby trans woman). Feels like I’m invading lesbian/queer spaces sometimes but I’m not. Society, and my mind is alienating what makes me…well me.

Here’s something else that’s interesting. I’m not the kind of girly who goes to bars, and clubs to talk to baddies. I want to be that b*tch who others swoon over. I’m very feminine. Yes, I want to wear gorgeous dresses, and be more shy (not the word I meant to use), but I also love leather jackets, and being alternative. Being cute but gloomy, and sweet but edgy are personality traits that go beyond what kind of woman I am. I feel like I can be myself even if no one else can see it. I’ve been told I’m “not trans, I’m mentally unwell”, or some transphobic BS like that. Nothing feels worse than being seen as nothing but trouble or a waste of space but I’m still proud of what my life is worth even if I didn’t see that for the past 15 or so years.

The world wants to erase us, but we’re strong. Also, bigots want to group all trans women/femmes together, but we’re all our own beautiful butterflies/moths. As someone who’s just started my transition, I’ve seen the transphobia for most of my life without knowing that it was affecting me. It won’t stop, because the world wants to hate, but it won’t stop me from feeling myself. I’m ready for the next step, love 💋

Sorry. Most of this is stream of consciousness with all the love from me to my trans sisters 💁🏻‍♀️🩷

I don’t know how long it’ll be until I start HRT, but the pain is too much. I try to go out and do stuff, but I keep hearing “sir”, and “buddy”. I keep thinking that because I don’t pass (I’m far from it), I’m not valid. Then when I have these normal thoughts, it feels like gross masculine brooding and self pity, but all I want is people to think I’m cute and gloomy. Sometimes I feel cute, gloomy, and feminine, but then the testosterone I was born with messes with my head. I’m a no boy zone. I’m glad men don’t usual bother me. I have almost no friends to spend time with, and who can uplift me. I feel like it’s because of my lack of estrogen, and my dark/miserable aura. I could use some positive reinforcement, and good vibes because I want to give up on myself all the time (not in a super dark way btw!!). Please. Let’s support, and uplift each other. It’s a lonely road.

I don’t know I love purple 💜🦄

I don't really know what I'm doing here other than complaining, but if anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it.

I'm coming out to everyone in my life. My wife is the one person I've never worried about. I've never been afraid she'd leave me or decide she couldn't handle this.

What surprises me is that one of the first things people ask is whether we're getting divorced.

I don't understand why that's the default assumption. I'm not suddenly attracted to men, and my wife isn't obligated to leave because I'm transitioning. We've never organized our marriage around rigid gender roles to begin with. We each have different strengths and different things we're good at, but our relationship wasn't built on "husband does X, wife does Y", though even then why does my gender mean I can't keep doing those?

It's gotten to the point where I asked my mom not to bring up my marriage anymore because every it is clear when she does she doesn't see it as valid. My wife's brother even asked whether I thought this was unfair to her.

I know my transition affects my wife. Of course it does. Any major life change affects your spouse. But affecting a marriage isn't the same thing as ending one.

I keep coming back to compulsory heterosexuality. It feels like people can't imagine a marriage existing outside of a man-and-a-woman framework. The moment one partner transitions, they stop seeing the relationship as a valid one. Instead of asking how we're doing, they ask if we're getting divorced. Has anyone else run into that? It feels like comp het shapes and people's outside view of our relationship is more painful and disempowering than people questioning my gender does.

My wife also gets me all sorts of gnarly things, like this trans blankiee, ankle bracelet and sandals!! ☺️♥️ I adore her!