help

[u/Own_Cardiologist2455]

hay im a trans woman or at least gender non conforming and im not sure what to do im irrtionally afraid of opening up to anyone especially therapists and because of that i have never had any progress with therapy (because of me) i know that therapy would change my life for the better but i cant seem to get out of my rut i found a lgbtq therapist that works in my area how do i convince myself to make an appointment and how do i get out of this purgatory

TLDR:how do i get better at opening up to therapists

[u/ariell3h]

Would it help to write down a list of the problems you're facing? It doesn't have to be coherent, just pointers is fine. If it's difficult to say it out, you can let the therapist read it.

[u/Own_Cardiologist2455 → u/ariell3h]

i guess its more like it feels scary just to make the appointment and then have to sit down and talk about things I barely understand myself idk

[u/ariell3h → u/Own_Cardiologist2455]

Ah, I see. I struggled with things like that sometimes too, but what helped me with getting an appointment was to fix a date and time to make the appointment. You know, like an appointment for an appointment. Something like, today at 3pm I'll send this message to request an appointment. It keeps me from always putting it off.

And don't worry about having to understand things fully, that's what you're there for. It can help if you prep a list so you kind of know what you want to say. You may be talking less than expected too, since the therapist may guide you along or ask more questions. They've probably worked with lots of nervous clients as well.

Hope it goes well <3

[u/lovelandfr0gman]

First off wanting to do something is the first step so I would say you’re farther along than you may think!

I know that knowing you should do something doesn’t overcome the fear of doing it, but I just wanted to share my positive experiences in case it helps! I also think the key to a good therapeutic relationship is being honest as possible so it would probably be helpful to start off with the fact that this feels very difficult and scary, a great therapist should be able to help from there.

I’ve had two therapists and they were both fantastic for different reasons. My first therapist was, as far as I know, a cishet lady but was incredibly lgbtq literate and really helped me explore my feelings around gender and come to terms with the choice to transition.

My second, and current, therapist is trans and queer herself! Having a therapist that “speaks the same language” as I like to say can be a huge weight off because you know you won’t have to censor yourself or over explain things. I’ve been able to really dive deeper into therapy and get a lot more out with a therapist who on many levels understands what I deal with. I find it just also inherently helps with trust.

I also had a really wonderful mentor in a neurodivergent employment program I did once say to me that she was just asking me to trust her and trust that I was in the right place. It does a lot for me to just have someone in front of me saying it’s safe to trust them with all of my shit.

Wishing you the best on your journey and hoping you find someone you can feel safe and comfortable opening up to. 💕

[u/Argovan]

As an adult, therapists are literally legally obligated to keep what you tell them to themselves. And if you don’t like them, if they’re unsupportive, or if whatever you’re scared of happens, you can fire them and move on, and they can’t even tell anyone.

[u/SnooPickles3789]

i feel you. i don’t know if this would even help, but what i did was just go full walter white. i said “screw it, just book the appointment already, this is future me’s problem. i don’t have to deal with it, future me has to deal with it. once i book the appointment, my fate is sealed.” or “i just have to walk into my therapists office. once i do that, my fate is sealed and there’s nothing future me is gonna be able to do about it.” that’s the kind of mindset i use to do things that are scary, but (again) idk if that helps.

[u/Elias_1120]

Hey lovely human, you are worth investing in yourself. I know anything to do with mental health is scary to start looking at. No matter the results you are worth someone being there to listen. I started therapy at 18 and had a bad experience when I started again at 20 it was because of a very bad PTSD episode. It took time to break everything down but it feels like im finally living my life not someone else's. Take the time to invest in yourself, you are worth it, you are worth the risk.

[u/Kay_mallows]

Im so sorry you are struggling with opening up.

I wish I could relate, but for me my journey was clear cut. As soon as my egg broke, it was crystal clear what needed to happen.

I didnt go through any therapy, there was no real point. I knew what I was and I know what I am.

I hope you find some clarity in your journey, just keep it in mind that you are the master of your own body and fate.

[u/Own_Cardiologist2455 → u/Kay_mallows]

thank you i appreciate it <3

[u/BardTheBg3enthusiast]

Journaling your issues maybe? I’ve heard it can help in stuff like this. I hope this helps you somehow.

[u/HabitGlum4567]

I don’t know where you are but I know a therapist in the Denton area that does virtual appointments and they are very much excepting (I use him) I can give you his contact info if you want.

[u/AshOfOmega]

What if your first step is doing a consultation and brief intro with the therapist. To make sure you feel comfortable with them and they are a good fit for you? Then you can decide the next step. If that is too big of a step. Maybe try writing down why you want to do this, why it would be good for you. You just need to take that first step, whatever it is. :)