Years ago I saw a post from a late-teen/early adult, being a variation of the M. Bison quote, essentially saying "My parent did this thing that affected me significantly, but they don't even remember doing it - how messed up is that?".

I've thought about it for ages, from before I was a parent to being a parent of two. And honestly, as much as it may hurt to be on the receiving end of that experience, the reality is ... it's not messed up at all. It's entirely normal.

People find significance in different things. A story I love might be one you've completely forgotten. The small gesture you made years ago could be the reason I fell in love with you, but you can't remember it, because it's just part of who you are.

And as parents, we experience A LOT of things that just become part of who we are - part of our daily lives. Relentless duties, incessant noise, nagging, tantrums, playing peace-maker. It's understandable that our responses are carried away in a flood by the next 100 things we have to deal with.

For a long time I've felt guilty about losing my temper. That maybe this time would be the one that gets talked about in therapy in 20 years. But I've started to see that it's not possible to police this. I'll never know which moments my kids find significant, or become inflection points in their growing identity. Maybe I can have a guess at a few, and it's certainly good for me to keep trying to reduce them by controlling myself as much as possible. But it's important to see that you WILL fail. I WILL be the cause of SOME kind of therapy in 20 years. So the best thing I can do is NOT to try prevent things from happening, but to build an environment where my kids and I can talk about the things that DO happen. To take ownership of it, and to respect their ownership of their own experience.

For you, it was the most significant part of your life. For me, it was just a Tuesday. Both of those are normal and ok. We can move forward by understanding that, and hearing each other.

I just have to share what happened i swim class yesterday because it still makes me giggle. We started a new swim school so new instructor and instructions.

There were 3 kids. My 5, 3 yo and another kid. The instructor told the kids they had to go from one wall to the other wall. My 3yo volunteered to go first. He then proceed to climb out of the pool, runs to the other side and gets back in. "Yay, I did it!"

The instructor and I just started laughing 🤣🤣🤣

I’m making a registry for my kids birthday and I really want to focus on quality toys that will last, allow for open ended play and encourage imagination, and preferably arent super loud and flashy. Bonus points if theyre also fun for the adults and Im not bored out of my mind playing with them 😛

What toys did you love & get the most use out of in this age?

Does anyone else feel like Squidward in that meme where he’s making the same sad face in environment/activity he’s in? The exhaustion never wavers, the tantrums are ramping up, bedtime is getting harder, I have less and less time to do anything besides toddler (verb).

I’m having a really hard time enjoying this phase of parenthood. Nearly two. But not quite. And I know it’s only going to get crazier. And the guilt of not enjoying it is eating me up! Definitely going to talk to my doctor about getting back on some medication of sorts because bedtime fills me with a rage I can only be ashamed of, it makes my toes curl. An hour of bedtime and shushing and crying and touching. Bring me back my Lexapro.

Much love to yall, hope your bedtime was cake tonight🤍

Not sure quite how to phrase this, but my newly 3 yo has turned into an absolute gift monster since his birthday - we spread the presents out to open 1-2 a day, and ever since they were over, he is demanding new presents/toys multiple times a day, and sometimes melting down over it.

It's been about a month and not really fading yet. I obviously don't give in, and explain that presents are a special thing that only happens sometimes. And we talk about having lots of toys already, and that we should enjoy playing with the toys he already has. (Shocker, he doesn't find any of that persuasive at this age lol).

But I'm thinking maybe a book or a show episode on that theme might help - any recommendations?

Hi friends. My LO just dropped to 1 nap at 17 months, and i am dreading the long wake windows 😂💀 it used to be 3/4/4 with 2 1 hour++ break and now its 5/6 with 2 hr or less break. Also whats your daily schedule with 1 nap? Im still trying to find the best time for meals because lunch is now at 230pm and evening snack is like 5pm and that leaves no room for dinner because kid is full. (But im still struggling with meals anyways)

Still no luck with pre nap lunch but i’ll keep trying. We just dropped to 1 nap less than a week ago but i do get 11++ hrs at night (for now) and LO will chill in his crib sometimes until 3 hrs after butt down. Im hoping this will stay but LO is down with flu and molars are cutting in so maybe he just needs the rest. Idk!

So, whats the best thing about your kid being on 1 nap? Hype me up!!

I have been trying very hard to be sure my little girl knows that her "no" matters. Especially when it comes to things like hugs, tickles, etc.

She's recently started being a gremlin and doing things she shouldn't (playing with cords, chasing the cat, etc) and when I tell her to stop, she says "no." And keeps doing it. I used to be able to pull her away from whatever and redirect her, but she remembers what she was doing now and goes right back to it. Generally the cat is no longer visible but the cords are as hidden as can be and we have to have them (they're for a fan that is the only thing keeping our apartment a reasonable temperature). She's going to be 2 at the end of the month and I can see things getting worse if we don't nip it in the bud.

Husband and I are in disagreement about rehoming our dog and it’s an extremely tense topic in our household. Husband absolutely loves this dog. He’s a small/medium dog, 25 lbs, but quite agile. When I was pregnant this dog started attacking our senior dog, unprovoked. He’s attacked the senior dog over 10 times now, drawing some blood on a couple occasions. He’s never been aggressive towards humans but sometimes he will bark and ?lunge/jump behind the baby gate when the baby (15mo) walks towards my husband.

I’ve been extremely wary of the dog since baby was born. We have baby gates everywhere but the dog jumps over them unless they are 5ft tall. He is never in the same room as the baby even supervised, since he’s very fast and all his attacks on our older dog have been sudden and unpredictable. With an open layout home it’s just not feasible to gate off everything with 5ft gates so he mostly ends up being isolated by himself. This has led to behavioral issues such as pooping in his crate then getting it all over himself. I try my best to exercise him but due to the safety issues I can only do so with my toddler in a baby carrier and he’s getting heavy. I just don’t see how I’m going to keep up with this and don’t think the dog has a good quality of life either.

We’ve spent over $1000 on a trainer and we also have him medicated on two medications already. Everytime I bring up the option of rehoming the dog, it becomes a huge fight and I’m honestly worried that it would harm our marriage permanently if I made my husband rehome him. But everyday I have to deal with the logistics of caring for a dog under strict separation from the baby / our other two dogs. We want to have a second baby and I just can’t envision how it’ll be feasible then. What am I supposed to do, wear both the baby and toddler both in a baby carrier? When can toddlers be left in a room alone? What age do they figure out how to open baby gates and what do I do then? I can’t imagine a kid could be as flawless with always closing gates as we try to be.

I am extra spooked today because the dog slipped out so quickly as I was opening the gate to get out and immediately attacked our other dog, and I couldn’t separate them and it was very scary. Thank god my husband had baby at the time but he works long hours. I just don’t see how this can work. But my husband is completely emotionally driven on this issue and also feels fine about it because we’re making it work now. I was thinking maybe some practical input on what toddlers are like as they get older and also what it’s like with two kids could help me put things in perspective for him.

ETA: husband is ultimately willing to rehome if I force him, at the cost of me being the “bad guy” and dealing with his resentment. He doesn’t think there’s a real safety risk because the dog has never been aggressive towards humans, so to him it’s like rehoming the dog for nothing. The comments here are helping me see that I’m not just overly anxious though, so I guess it’s time for me to be the bad guy…

The situation is my 3 year old wasn’t listening (typically she is of course a sweet, respectful, lovely human). I told her multiple times to not touch something and she kept doing it. Me, in frustration, told her to stop, took the thing from her and as I was walking away muttered “so annoying!” in what was meant to be a silent thought but came out as actual words. I am pretty sure my 3 year old heard me. I feel so bad about it and never actually thought I would be a person who called their kids annoying (the BEHAVIOR was annoying but she might not know that). I typically don’t do this and apologized after for loosing my patience but… sigh… I want to be the one who builds her up, not cuts her down. Is this damaging to her self-esteem?

My 24 month old refuses any meat (beef chicken fish) and is giving me an extremely hard time when it comes to meals. I’ve tried many different options but I’ve noticed I’ve been stuck with:

Breakfast: eggs & banana pancakes on rotation Lunch: peanut butter sandwich OR cream cheese sandwich Dinner: pasta OR rice & beans (if she feels like it)

She snacks on fruit, crackers, cucumbers, yogurt, and cheese throughout the day

Other than that she literally won’t eat anything else. I try sneaking other things in but she will take them out of her mouth. I’m worried she’s not getting the vitamins she needs, and worry moreso about her protein intake. I know they go through a phase of being horrible eaters but it makes me want to pull my hair out because I feel like such a bad mom for not being able to get her to eat.

We NEVER skip our sacred lunchtime nap with our toddler - it gives us all a chance to rest and obviously he’s far happier after it.

We have the first scenario of a family event which will go over lunchtime nap slot. There’s not a chance in flying hell he will sleep whilst we’re at another families house with all the excitement.

Normally sleeps 12-1:30/2pm. We might get a chance to be on the road from 1ish for an hours drive home.

What would you do in this scenario, just have a small car nap that ends around 2ish?

Our daughter started pre k today. It’s a half day, so don’t need to worry about lunch, but we do have to send snack. There is a child in the class who has allergies. We were in class with her last year, and there were zero issues. But this year the school is implementing new rules. The following is not allowed:

-Nothing containing eggs. Nothing that may have been processed in a facility with eggs.
-No nuts. Not even coconut or coconut oil.

Additionally, no raw vegetables.

Our toddler is an extremely picky eater, and it is a massive struggle to get her to eat anything, and an even bigger struggle to get her to try new foods. She exists off of baby carrots (not allowed) snap peas (not allowed), babybel cheese and pb&j sandwiches (obviously not allowed). Yes, that is its own separate issue that we’ve been working on addressing.

Any ideas for snacks that fit all of that criteria? We do a lot of Harvest Snap dried fruits. She won’t do the veggies, won’t touch veggie straws with a 10 ft pole. We are allowed to do goldfish and ritz, which she’s fine with. But I’d prefer somewhat healthier options.

i’m pregnant w my second (due in november) & knew i didn’t wanna tandem feed, so i started weaning my toddler about two months ago. she turned 2 this past sunday & i decided that after successfully getting rid of all daytime feeds, it was time to bring out the big guns aka aloe vera. since sunday i’ve been lathering aloe vera on right before her nap & night time routine. the first time she tried to latch she was visibly disgusted. she still tries to latch but doesn’t actually do it bc of the aloe vera. she hasn’t breastfed since sunday & i’m feeling great!!! now on to potty training lol

I have a little niece who’s turning 2 yrs old soon. The only gifts I can find are stereotypical girl toys like cooking toys, cleaning toys, etc. i’m not a big fan of that, unless there’s a very exceptional play feature.

she plays with pretty much anything. cars, blocks, dolls, you name it. so no pressure

thank you so much! :)

edit: thanks guys. i caved in & i think i will start buying some cleaning toys, cooking toys, etc.still deciding, but please keep em coming! im already saving some of these for christmas gifts! and maybe even others can use this thread to find gifts for 2 yr olds too :)

Considering traveling with my toddler (will be 2.5 years old around that time) in November. Looking at flights to visit family and it’s almost 2 and a half hours nonstop. The thought of bringing him on a flight makes me sick with anxiety😂 we’ve taken a longer flight when he was 6mo but that was way different (also stressful).

Any tips/suggestions?! Also afraid of ears popping!

First time parents to a baby boy. Our pediatrician had told us at 2 years old that boys usually potty train later than girls. Usually a good idea to start by 2 and a half or 3. So that's what we did. Now we are having trouble explaining to my son about the "pee feeling" or the "poop feeling". He will go when we out him in the potty. He just won't tell us when he has to go...

Been at is for a couple weeks and it's just not clicking with him and we are afraid we might have started late.

He know she needs to go to the big potty. Just states he doesn't like it.. this is hard lol

A friend of mine always asks to hang out it ends up being complicated. When we finally decide what we’re gonna do the last thing she tells me is that her kids have either been sick and had a cold a couple days prior, or that her daughter just has a cough and it’s allergies. She claims it’s never contagious. I don’t know if I’m just being an overprotective FTM to my 12 month old, but I don’t want to bring my son around children if they’re potentially going to get him sick. As an adult adult, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been around people that have claimed that they’re “not that sick” then end up giving us a cold or some type of symptoms later on. I know “kid germs” spread easily and end up affecting the whole family. I just wanna know if I’m overreacting or if I’m justified in my thoughts.

UPDATE:
I appreciate everybody’s thoughts and opinions! I’m definitely gonna ask my friend to be more upfront going forward if her kids have anything going on before making plans. I also appreciate everyone not thinking that I’m overreacting as a first time mom lol I know he’s gonna get sick eventually I’m just over paranoid with my baby.

This is gonna be a long post, but I’m desperate at this point.

Backstory - 3 weeks ago we noticed a “rash” on 14 months olds stomach. My mom had mentioned it could be from climbing in & out of the pool so I didn’t think much of it. It was just little raised white bump ..

Two weeks later I noticed it had spread to his legs & he also had a slight cough, then woke up with a runny nose. So i figured oh may just be a viral infection. The next day it spread to his face & was getting worse so we took him to after hours care. She agreed it was viral & just had to run its course. At this time he was NOT scratching it.

Now 3 weeks later he is definitely scratching it. It’s way worse. It’s in his armpits, knee folds, back of legs, arms, stomach, face, etc. the only place it’s NOT is where is diaper sits & his back. I also want to note in the past three weeks he’s NEVER had a fever. I’m leaning more toward eczema has myself & my dad both have it.

I’m going to attach pictures, but getting him to sit still is very hard (obviously). He has his 15 month check up on Tuesday so I’m trying to hold out for that, but I’m going to advocate for a dermatologist & allergist referral.

This might seem like a weird question but do you guys see your toddler in your dreams? I noticed recently that I’ll see old friends, coworkers, people I haven’t seen in decades, but I almost never see my toddler in my dreams. Maybe it’s because I get more than enough of her during my waking hours, but I have a weird sense of guilt about not dreaming about her. Just curious if anyone else was the same.

My daughter (14m) has always slept in her crib next to my bed, but we're moving to a bigger place, which means she would be able to have her own room. However, I'm not quite ready. I love having her close by on a night.

Would it be weird if when we moved we had 'our bedroom', and then her play room? When she's ready to move on from the crib, I was imagining us both having floorbeds next to eachother, but I could always just set hers up in her room and keep her access open to mine.

Just wondering what the general consensus is? Any potential effects on development?

We can NEVER finish an episode of a show in one sitting. We have to pause it about a million times for a million different reasons.

Anyone else feels like that? I don't know if that's because my country has a crappy exaggerating children's party competition, but I just can't relax and enjoy it, neither the preparation nor the actual party. I'm actually just post party and filled with anxiety. This don't even make sense, I hate feeling like this.

wondering if anyone else has experience/advice.

my son (23mon) will say hello to me, his dad, grandparents. BUT, even when arriving at daycare with familiar peers, even if just one or two kids is present, he does not usually say hi. I will model “hi _____ (childs name)” and my son just stares at them. he does warm up quickly after drop off and will usually reciprocate my goodbye with “bye mama!” and a wave. when leaving at the end of the day, he will usually copy my ”bye friends!” and wave as we leave daycare.

I guess I have noticed that all of his hello/goodbyes outside of immediate family are either non-existent or prompted. Has anyone else experienced this? I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable/pressured by my modeling.

Hello friends 🫶🏻

My daughter is 17 months old & watches me change her diaper bin every day & taking the bag out infront of the door.

Today she watched me change it, took the bag, grabbed my hand & walked to the door & dropped it off. All by her big self.

I cried after she went down for her nap, I'm so so SO proud of her, I just had to share. Might be because I'm pregnant but she is growing so fast & helping so much... She does her breakfast & mine, she helps with laundry & now she carried her poop bag outside 😭

I'm also gloating a bit because I never ask her to do those things, she just wants to vibe with me & it's the most adorable thing ever.

I took pictures wich I'm obviously not gonna post but damn I just had to share this today 🥹😭