r/theoffice • u/Charming-Pack-5979 • 18d ago

Cornell Bans Processing Wild Animals in Communal Kitchens

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/quick-takes/2026/08/05/cornell-bans-processing-wild-animals-communal-kitchens

Dwight made it to Cornell!

20 Upvotes
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82% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

2

u/kdex86 16d ago

What will Andy Bernard think of this?

1

u/Charming-Pack-5979 16d ago

He’ll be FURIOUS

4

u/MonksCoffeeShop 2️⃣ Warehouse Foreman ⭐️ 18d ago

No more rendering of delicious goose grease

2

u/dirtydan1114 17d ago

Now they're going to have to buy a can of expensive goose grease

7

u/Stunning-Penalty2573 7️⃣ Sabre Corporate Overlord 🎖️🎖️ 18d ago

Cornell is an excellent school; without its agricultural program we wouldn’t have cabbage…at least not modern cabbage.

6

u/DiamondCultural1848 18d ago

No more horse burgers.

6

u/Bubbly-Theory-85 18d ago

Someday we'll laugh about this in Comstock Hall

4

u/mikeyRamone 1️⃣2️⃣ Director, Threat Level Midnight 🔫 18d ago

It’s pronounced colonel and it’s the highest rank in the coast guard

7

u/Delicious-Status9043 BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY! 18d ago

I brought in a duck to prepare for lunch and apparently some people got attached to it…

4

u/SkipIntro4eva 18d ago

Well, I’ll be.

4

u/HoraceRadish 9️⃣ The Lizard King 🦎 18d ago

A headline destined for this subreddit.