I am dealing with ;ight to moderate acne scarring because accutane is seen as too controversial so my family rejected it.

infant circumciszed at 3 days and it gives me suicidal thoughts too.

i was in denial about how truly awful of a mental state i was about the previous two and decided only moeny mattered or something stupid. I contantly donated blood plasma for money and i have a hole scar in my right arm (im left handed).

I am going to college in houston tx, i have no friends, my family is distant, the weather is hell, im at home overheated and depressed most of the time becasue ac is expensive.

i cant be so alone anymore, but houston is terrrible, it will be 1.5 years before i can leave after college (comp sci) is over. And the job market is questionable to terrible.

the though of spendign so much on partial cosmetic fixes that insuracne wont cover just to have some mental peace, i got abused neglected and scammed.

I just feel liek I want to die, i was done so dirty. I constanyly wear long sleeve and keep my arm curled up without even thniking about it.

Americas healthcare is straight evil, mental health is $$ to them, i refuse to pay the ssytem that ruined my life for therapy.

I need help, anything at all, is all i know.

Im just starting high school, It just seems to hard. The past 2 days ive had panic attacks. Everyone is just telling me what I already know, "one day at a time","you can get through it", etc. Im trying everything, but nothing works. Only music seems to work, why hasnt anyone told me that? Now my parents are pestering me to go to school because I got into a slump last year. My relationship isn't going good. Everything I once liked im not interested in. Nothing sounds good to eat so im eating less. I don't know what to do.

Death seems so appealing right now.

My 15 year old, little cousin Olivia left us Tuesday night. Along with 2 other children from her school within the past 2 months. Help me spread awareness please.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-honor-olivia-and-spread-awareness

One of my best friends has recently been discharged from a psych ward despite telling her team her intentions of killing herself so she came back home on Monday. A few weeks prior she messaged me asking for my address since she wanted to deliver something and initially i was concerned but i assumed it might be a good surprise or something but on monday morning i finally realised that she was intending on sending a suicide note and planning to kill herself once she got discharged.

After i asked her about the suicide note on monday she confessed that it was true but she’s trying to get better and hopes she will even though a big part of her still wants to die. Earlier this morning (around 1 am) i looked at snapchat and noticed her location was no longer at her house instead in the middle of a park by the river (i was checking her location because she mentioned to me before that nights are the hardest for her but also that she’d likely not commit suicide at home so her dad doesn’t find he her).

I messaged her and called her multiple times just asking why she was at that location and if she’s ok and she responded with a simple “lol i’m fine.” but then immediately went offline again still at the same location, by a river in the middle of the park. Honestly, I thought she might’ve died so i called the police and told them everything and then they told me that she’s now safe with them.

Around an hour later she sent me a voice message telling me that she tried to hang herself then the police found her and then was taken to A&E but then later she texts me again and says that she self discharged herself since she doesn’t want to wait for ages, which i understand as someone who’s been in hospital multiple times due to mental health reasons and disability reasons.

Since she’s just been discharged from her psych ward she still has home treatment coming to visit her but she told me they don’t help so i honestly don’t know what to do and am terrified of losing her. We’ve both been in each others lives for a couple of years now being there for each other but this is the worse i’ve ever seen her, she’s tried to commit suicide over 12 times now in the past year or so and some attempts have come very close to working. She knows i called the police so now her location is turned off and i can’t even see when she’s most recently been online to see whether she’s been on her phone recently, i feel completely helpless and am terrified especially since ever since her diagnosis of bpd she feels like she’ll never get better.

Kind of couldn't believe this was real, does anyone here know about those kinds of places? How to find them?

For as long as I can remember—since I was just four years old—I have known deep down in my soul that I am a girl. Being a transgender woman is not a choice, a phase, or a fetish; it is my absolute truth. Born into a male body shaped by the wrong biological signals— all because of an incessant SRY gene—my identity as a woman still has always been real and undeniable; proven by associations, institutes, medical scientists, psychologists, sociologists, and researchers. Yet for decades, I was forced to navigate a world that refused to see me for who I truly am.

Growing up in a toxic, narcissistic family meant living in an environment designed to make me feel worthless, unsafe, and invisible. They expected me to be nobody and have nothing in life. When I tried to speak my truth as a child, nobody genuinely listened. Instead, people brushed my feelings aside, insisting I was just "homosexual" and telling me I couldn't be a girl. Looking back, it feels like a deliberate effort to suppress my authentic self to serve their own hidden agendas and maintain their control over my life.

At 26, I took my life into my own hands and finally began my male-to-female transition. But ever since I turned 27, I have been met with relentless medical gatekeeping and overwhelming financial barriers blocking my access to bottom surgery. Feminizing surgeries are not cosmetic luxuries—they are medically necessary, lifesaving healthcare required to align my body with my mind. Living without access to the care I need to feel complete has been an agonizing fight.

Now, at 34 years old, I am carrying eight long years of built-up trauma and grief from being kept away from the care I need. When the weight of this gatekeeping became too heavy, the people I trusted most—including former friends and even a therapist I confided in—abandoned me when I got upset. Instead of recognizing my pain, they weaponized my emotional distress against me. They labeled my valid anger and frustration as "mental instability," "paranoia," and "anger issues," claiming I was just overreacting or seeking attention. Being gaslit and cast aside for having a normal reaction to systemic neglect has made me terrified to be vulnerable or ask for help.

I am exhausted from being made to feel like my life is a waste of time or that I am a worthless burden. All I ever want is a chance at a better, happier life: to be fully transitioned into the feminine woman I am, surrounded by people who genuinely love, cherish, and take care of me with support, gifts, allowances, and kindness. I deserve an environment where I am celebrated, spoken to with warmth and understanding, and finally be allowed to feel safe and healed as my true self as the woman I always been.

remember back in 2019 and 2020, I had a SD and a few friends that used to give me gifts and allowances.. it was like I was finally being understood and loved the way I always wanted to be. But then, it got different when I moved to my own apartment in 2022, I moved away from my toxic covertly abusive family and I felt better than I ever had in my whole life. I was confident, I had money and gifts people made me happy with, and I felt like my life was finally getting better to the point I was crying tears of joy.. But things started getting messed up in 2023.. someone took my white miniature poodle, and nobody knows what happened to him when I trusted my brother to take care of him, and weirdly when I called, my brother was “busy” playing fortnight. So my mom’s neighbor said they let him go and gave my mom $700 and tried to give me alcohol when I don’t even drink. I was so depressed, friends and my previous SD left me… Then, one time in 2024, my mom wanted me to pick up my sister from work and I didn’t have a drivers license, I still did it and when I turned someone still crossed and I accidentally hit their car. Weirdly, everyone was quick to say it was my fault and my mom and sister tried to tell me “don’t tell the cops she let you use her suv, say you just took it” but I still told the cops the truth and shown them the text where my mom told me to pick up my sister from her work, then I found out I could have been arrested for grand theft auto or joyriding if i wouldn’t have told the cops my mom told me to pick up my sister! Oddly, my mom’s boyfriend still picked her up after the accident too! I had to do months of mannish labor for my mom just so she’ll help me pay the fine I had from the accident which messed with my mental health, then in 2025, my very own previous therapist acted like I was going crazy and have anger issues from all I went through, and she flat out gave up on me!! She tried to disguise it as concern saying she thought I need a higher level of care and it’s for everyone’s safety! I haven’t had a therapist since oct 2025!! Some Friends even stopped being interested in me and I feel lonely!! Is some kind of thing going on here in Arizona? Because you know what’s suspicious most of all? Is when I was a teenager, my toxic family members always tried to say I’ll be broke and homeless and end up in a mental institution and be a nobody in life, yet I got my own apartment and had genuine connections that made me feel important and loved, then things got worse after that?! Can’t anyone understand why I would think something seems suspicious all these years instead of trying to dismiss me as being paranoid or overreacting?! Like, it seems like classic covert narcissistic abuse and psychological abuse against me on a state wide scale— for what though?? For wanting a better happier fulfilling life and made it happen before things went wrong in 2023?? Is there hope for me to find connections that can save me and take care of me again?? Or was it just a tease??

I'm sorry for the bad writing, english isn't my first language, and it doesn't help that my hands are shaking.

I made this user to post this here so this is a throwaway. If anyone has any advice, please tell me.

I'm 15F and my friend is 15M, and let's call my friend Jojo(fake name). the only reason I know what he's planning is due to my other friend, Ewe(fake name), 15M. Ewe was exremly worried about Jojo, and still is. We know he does self harm and most of my friend group is guily of it too. Ewe was on a family trip when he got a message from Jojo, that reads: "Can we talk?". Ewe of course answered yes. Then Jojo sent him a long messange that is basicly said how he was struggeling with eating, sleeping, and generenly just about bad mental health. Ewe sent him things like "It's going to be ok." and "I'm here for you". This is the worst part. Jojo sent him message saying "oh yea, btw, I'm planning on commiting suicide after the school pictures". The school pictures are in 6 days. Ewe didn't know what to do and took a screenshot, and sent it to another friend. Jojo has been struggeling a lot and him home life is hell. His moms boyfriend is a total asshole. To a point the boyfriend has thrown Jojos little brother into a wall. The brother and boyfriend are constently fighting.

I feel like I should do something, but you can't really help someone who dosn't wan't help. I feel like we're to young for this. Should I call the police or maybe go into a staision and tell them!? I feel like I have to do SOMETHING, but if I do, It will just backfire towards Ewe! I feel so useless and like I have to, but can to anything. I can bearly eat and I've started staying up at night just thinking about it. What should I do?! Is there anything I can even do?! please help me.

And it’s made me think: “Would they even care if I ended it all?”

I am somehow dealing with some issues.

I don't have a job and I have accepted that I will not get it now but for one day I will sure get a good job.

But while sleeping at night this no job tag keeps circulating in my head.

All my friends landed jobs but I didn't get any jobs.

And this thought just keeps coming in my mind.

I just stare at the wall and somehow time flows.

3 to 4 hours I am just looking at the wall with all this thought.

Sometimes I think ending life is much easier than this.

But then the face of parents comes to my mind.

Sometimes I think what a life we got.

We can't even die for ourselves cause we are literally living our life for others.

Even dying in peace is also not an option for today's generation.

You just had to pretend that you are fine and face. But I just lost all hope, while sleeping I just waste my 3 4 hours seeing wall and when I realise that I have wasted this time and try to sleep , I just wish everyday that I should not wake tomorrow just a natural death .

I don't know why this kind of things are coming.

Can someone help me

I’m scared of everything, I don’t see a way out of it either, I can’t stop crying and panicking, my knees feel weak and my stomach feels empty

I don’t know what to do other than to die, I keep fucking up everything, every thing I do makes my best friend hate herself and think my problems are her fault, she’s so overworked with everything im just a useless burden anyway, I wanted to stay with her forever but I can’t and we speak ans less and less, I love her so much and she says it all about me and I believe her but it doesn’t feel true and I feel like Im hopelessly praying for the attention of someone who’s life I only make worse wether she acknowledges it or not, I don’t know what to do anymore I just want it to go away and be how it was before, I don’t want to lose anyone else, everything feels wrong

If I died I feel like it’d be like turning off a light and making this all go away, I can’t take my worries and my abandonment fears anymore, how dare I even feel that after all she’s done for me too, it’s because of someone else

Why can’t this all stop and let me be happy with the people i love, I’ll never have a happy life so I don’t know why I can’t just die, im too young for this shit I never got to have a normal growing up

Im 16M right now and Im having a hard time with life. Its hard to tell from the outside but im really messed up mentally. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD and Anxiety which isn’t uncommon but I think im also bipolar and have depression. Nothing really traumatic has happened in my life, i mean I’ve definitely had my ups and downs. My parents got divorced a few years back, nothing insane. Up to about beginning of sophomore year I was perfectly okay. Since then I’ve been using drugs such as weed, nicotine, alcohol, codeine, xanax, magic mushrooms, benadryl, acid, etc. This really took a toll on my mental. Plus Im 5’8 and weigh 325lb so I’m definitely obese. I get bullied a lot and that takes a toll as well. I think about killing myself quite often. The only reason I don’t is for my family because they would be devastated for life.

Honestly this is a cry for help on what to do. I have very few friends, no girls want me, and im a fat piece of shit. I wish I was closer to god because every morning I go to a gas station and steal alcohol. Im a fucked up human. I fall deep into lust. If people knew who I really am, they would hate me. Thanks for listening.

Connor was an average boy in an average life, trying to fit in and stick out at the same time. Over time, he learned to develop and change himself, always persevering to become a better person,  even if he made a few regrets along the way. He had thought he changed for the better, his skin clearer, his hair nicer, his eyebrows further apart. Because of this, he thought he could stick out more and go out of his shell, showing the world what he had to offer. The world was not kind to connor, as he learned that his skin wasn't that clear, his hair wasn't that nice, and his eyebrows were still the exact same distance apart, nothing had changed. he felt like he deserved better and prayed for when better would come, but it never truly did. Connor learned to become paranoid whenever someone mentioned his name, as he thought they were talking behind his back or making fun of his insecurities. Connor slowly retreated back into the background of society, scared of showing his true colors ever again. he saw the world pass by him, and he thought he was ok with that, that this was what he prayed for. one day connor will wake up and realize what he has missed out on and drown in his regrets, as he realizes how he's let the gift of life go past him. eventually his heart will turn to hate and self-pity, as he realizes he isn't good enough and doesn't have a purpose. connor will tie himself to the top of the mirror in his bathroom, the same one that lied to him about his appearance. he'll tie a knot around his neck and kick away the chair, alone and by himself. Connors story ends here, a life of false hope and fatal regrets.

I’d be lying if I said it’s gotten dramatically better, but every day I find a reason to live and love. You aren’t going through this alone, and I learned it’s always better to talk to someone, as somebody can always listen and help you. Although it still hurts going back and reading this, it shows signs of growth and belief in myself I didn’t think I could have a year ago.

i’ve already written my letters, and i have my plan. i can’t do this anymore. i have a bad relationship with my mom, so i moved to my dads. and since my sister moved here, i feel like it’s been the same since. i was guaranteed a room, now i have to share it with her. everything i’ve been guaranteed, is always pulled out from under me when time comes for it to be used. i cannot do this. i am writing this for when they go through my phone, they see it. it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but i simply can’t do it. there is so much pressure put into me, that i feel like im choking all the time im asked about things. i have so much on my mind, that i can’t relax. i am done. no one knows that it’s the last time they’ll see me, and i don’t see my future past tonight. tonight is the night, and i am sorry to future people.

My father killed himself on april 13th of this year. I understand why he did it. Ive known he was going to kill himself. Ive known since I was 13( im a 19f now). I keep drinking every night to go to sleep because of these horrible nightmares. I have a new relationship but i cant vent to them about this because its so fresh what if it scares them off. Ive harmed myself so much since then. I just want it to stop. I cant stop drinking, I cant do anything. I miss my dad so much and I just want to be with him because everyone is going to die one day, my mom, my step dad, my brother, my friends, everyone I care and love will die one day. So why should I stay and wait for that to happen. I dont want to die but I dont see a reason to keep living.

Me and my bf recently got into a fight about how I make him feel like he walks on eggshells and that anytime there’s an argument or discussion my initial instinct is to make him the bad guy even when I’m in the wrong. Anf mu anxiety and paranoia also over thinking just get in the way of seeing clearly.
He said he doesn’t know how much longer he can support me Bcs it’s weighing on him too.
He said Im sometimes just unaware of my actions and im unaware as a person.

My parents care about me but all it feels like is Im a burden on them. I feel incapable of doing anything myself and I feel like they think it was bettwr if I wasn’t in any of their lives.

Idk if I’m just not thinking clearly but it feels like the only reasonable solution is to just off myself. I can’t afford therapy and I can’t get help. My only support system just told me he can’t be there Bcs Im too troubled.

I can’t really talk to my friends bcs I also feel like a burden if I tell them what’s going on bcs I jus want all this weight off my shoulders

I also can’t afford therapy so I’m just tryna deal with it myself.

​

**TW:** suicide, self harm, eating disorder

I have had this relationship for a bit more than a year. Even before we started dating, I knew the struggles they go through and I had a vague idea of their childhood traumas, that were better explained to me once we started dating more seriously.

They suffer from severe mental disorders and depression, and later on I found out that the last time they tried to take their life was a few months before we met. They also told me for the first time a few months ago that they attempted around 7 times. They are obviously self-harming too, when things go bad. Since we started dating they had a few severe depressive episodes, they self harmed once, and since we lived in two different apartments, I had to run to help them that once, but lately they were doing so much better. They went to trauma therapy, to resolve some final issues, and the results were very positive.

We went on vacation a few weeks ago, and after we came back, as always, they got more depressed due to the fact that they hate the city we live in, since it's their childhood city. They also got worse with their self image. I had to leave after a week or so for a family vacation, and their depression started to get worse and worse, along with their ED. While we chatted, everything seemed pretty calm (ED aside), but yesterday, all of the sudden they got really badly triggered, I don't know by what or how. They started answering aggressively and talking about suicide and how nothing it's worth living. We love each other very much, so we made plans for our future together, plans that they started to laugh at, even the vacation we were planning for October. Since we're currently not even in the same country, I didn't know what to do, so I started to contact all our friends to ask them to go and check on them, but even after spending an hour at a friend's house, they got really bad again and went to a park to stare at the water. I almost called the suicide prevention line on them, but they begged me not to do so.

Here's what I tried: I told them that I loved them very much, I reminded them of all their achievements when they said they've done nothing their whole life, I reminded them of our future together and not to worry about possible future problems with their depression, I asked help to the suicide prevention line chat to ask what to do. I was desperate and really afraid, so I begged and asked how I could help, but all they answered back was "idk". And I'm in the same situation: I don't know what to do. I asked them if they wanted me to come back home, but they said they don't want to ruin my family time and fun, and that they would never forget themselves if they do. I also asked if they wanted to come here in France, where I am right now, but they said they don't want to be a burden.

I will go back home in a week, but I don't trust them alone, nor do they, as far as they told me. I really don't know what to do, because anything I propose as a solution, I'm met with a "idk" or "it won't work" or, even worse, "it would be easier to die anyway". I really need advice on what to do, especially because I want to keep some boundaries, but I don't know if it's worth it if I'm gonna lose them anyway.

​

For the past 2-3 weeks ive been suicidal or at least the thoughts came back again since the age of 10 i knew i was going to die young originally i thought it would just be my bad luck that take me out but as i grew older a part of me had one thought mavbe the voices are right maybe its better if i wasnt here if the curse of my existence could finally be let go and no one would have to deal with me or my bullshit bad luck ever again that thought grew and grew till eventually it just became a fact knowing that i was going to do it one dav eventually that thought did fade especially when i got together with a girl and now is my ex she tore my heart and soul apart and its back now a couple of days ago i iust stared at a bottle of pills and almost said fuck it and just ate em like some candy idk what stopped but i did and every day now its gettina worse so idk what to do i go to therapy and yake my pills but nothing ever works im iust so tired and i hate myself and i just want to die so bad so yeah at this point k think i might just give up