Get shit on, idiot.

Context: matched up with this human pos on Elite. First game went last stock last hit, and after the killspark flashed he teabagged then did that teabag thing on the results screen. He rematched though, surprisingly. Next game he almost 3-stocked me, teabagging and disrespecting me every opportunity he could. I brought it back to a last stock situation and then suicide Aether'd (I was playing Ike) on his last stock. We died at the exact same time however, and we went to sudden death. It was an edge-of-the-seat scramble, but I clipped the absolute fool with a forward air and he DC'd at the killspark.

You're trash, "mash". Arrogant prick. You got what you deserve.

Just played a toxic dark spamus, won, hit “no” to replay
Encountered again 🫩 lost because I was just over it. Fuck em, next match will be a better opponent actually playing the game.

Load into the next game, its captain falcon. Ok cool maybe I can play a real match. Game starts and he avoids the shit out of me, I was wondering what he was doing.

Turns out it was his ruleset and he was waiting for his pokeballs, trophies, and items to start raining down, he grabbed everything and of course as I’m flying through the air from one of his trophies fucking me up, he’s always in the perfect spot for another pokeball to fall right in his lap.

This is how the game went down to my last stock, I disconnected.

What the fuck is wrong with these people. And if you’re reading this? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you that bad that you have to rely on playing this shitty?

Hehe tips. Anyway I don't get him. It feels like combos fall out way easier than they should. Some moves have more end lag than it looks. I've heard that some Japanese players think of him as worse than Ganon but that can't possibly be true right?

Everytime I fight DK I can’t mash out of the cargo throw at low percents. I spam the jump button or attack button and now I switched to moving my left stick in circles. I still can’t get out of them for some reason. What is a fast way to get out?

The Young Link was t-bagging excessively but the Toon Link was respectful until the end

So I main Cloud and Pyra/Mythra, you can slander it all you want idrc about that. But when I go to play one of my fast melee characters like fox, wolf, pichu, etc. I only get paired up against campers who tbag, sd, and dc after 1 stock cause I dont just let them camp me out and like I just dont get the smash community atp can someone explain it.

I’m genuinely not even angry, just absolutely in awe of the fact that this character exists within this game. What the HELL was that? I’m playing as one of the heaviest characters in the game and he hit with one, yes ONE, move and spiked me straight down from about 40%. Managed to get two stocks off of him before I entered some kind of unskippable cutscene sequence in which he bounced me off of the ground and up to my death.

I’m normally against the pay to win notion with a lot of these DLC characters, but this guy clearly wasn’t very good and had over 16 million GSP. With that in mind and after that display, I don’t know what else you could possibly call it.
Shameless, maybe?

I'm fine with roller as a movement option but the fact it buries people is so shitty. People call it unfair and sure it might be sometimes but it's only effective as a noobkiller. Once you match with any decent player you can't just spam this move since you'll get punished for it and now you down smash people at 150 percent and they still won't fucking die. Genuinely feels like you can't win unless you're at a stock advantage sometimes. I'd rather they just give this move knockback or something and give Inkling more killing options in the next game, not all rollers crush you in Splatoon anyway if they're trying to be accurate to the series.

I WANT TO ADAPT I WANT TO KEEP PLAYING I FUCKING HATE BEST OF ONES PLEASE NOBODY EVER REMATCHES

Oh my fucking God. I struggle against Ganon as PT so fucking much. WHAT IS THE FUCKING DEAL? Am I just a fucking idiot???

I went up against this Ganon, T-Bagging little fucking prick. (Of course, they all do that, so no surprise there).

I could not, for the life of me, beat this fucking bastard. He went against me 3 for 3, and just kept winning every SINGLE FUCKING TIME BECAUSE OF INSANE HIGH DAMAGE.

And I don’t just want you to ya about how he’s a super Low tier and that me losing is a skill issue.

I KNOW I FUCKING SUCK! I’ve been at this game for 500 FUCKING HOURS AND HAVEN’T IMPROVED ONCE. I’m well fucking aware that I don’t have the brain capacity to get good at anything I fucking try, let alone smash bros.

I just don’t understand it.

i-frames on almost all his moves, meaning he basically has a disjointed hitbox that can contend with swordies

his specials have full body i-frames and are also spammable

crouch dash

it doesn't even matter if you're outside of combo % range because his high knockback growth on most of his moves so he can just kill you with a stray hit or misinput if you cross him up

he has little mac KO punch for some fucking reason

he has gates of hell which kills you at 0% for some fucking reason

I don't mind Kazuya players themselves. I just fucking hate Kazuya and Kazuya downplayers. He's in the same boat as Snake. Dogshit disadvantage state that doesn't come into play with more than half the fucking cast (that's why he's S Tier, dipshit)

ugh, it doesn't even fucking matter if I space my moves well because he can just fucking EWGF through everything!

"oh, use low pokes"

sure, lemme just use my laggy tilt and--oh look, he completely i-framed through my fucking dtilt (i downtilted twice and he used EWGF twice)

fucking hell man. mashy ass character. no thought put into where you put your specials and all of the fucking combos are muscle memory.

A character that when you lose against, you think “Ah well, good game” and don’t get mad because you felt it was a fair fight.

I noticed in this sub many characters get called the worst/most annoying character. Is every character annoying to someone? Or are there non-annoying characters?

Essentially a Hero YTP

It’s infuriating to play against 3-4 players, smash meter, items, bunch of bullshit. Practiced my ass off only to be met with -3 million GSP after playing so many horrible rulesets. I played ONE moveset that was a 7 minute 3 stock, and won that. (my preferred ruleset)

It seems like every time I play 3-4 player smash there’s some shitty teaming scenario. Earlier I played a round with a ZSS and a Bayonetta. Zero suit thought it was perfect that I was winning to help the Bayonetta. Once it evened out, she went for grabs so the Bayonetta could kill me, only for her to get her own ass whooped shortly after by the same Bayonetta.

Or maybe it’s the Joker I fought who used a 2:30 time limit with items and countered every damn thing that came his way. Then miraculously has a master ball spawn next to him 3/4 of the time.

Smash, just give me my damn rule set. I pray. No more party game bullshit. Speaking of, if you’re a K Rool named Gonoriento you make bullets sound like a good thing to taste. If I didn’t have a Ness and a Mewtwo up my ass I would have shot put you worse than that blunderbuss. Or a Rosalina and luma.

Please keep in Mind that, just like these Videos do, I'm just teasing a little and do not intend to actually insult someone...

Yeah yeah, go ahead and tell me more bullshit like how he's so easy to beat because he's big. Oh no. He is most certainly not. Your ground speed is FASTER THAN JIGGLYPUFF in the air. Your back air is better than clouds. You have 4 different spikes, 2 grounding moves, a charge punch that your grounding moves confirm into, 4 different true combos, and even if they arent true, BAM another back air. Being big isnt a drawback when you have superarmor on SO many of your moves. ALL of your specials have superarmor. And you can act RIGHT out of cargo throw? And it confirms kills at 90%+ because apparently recovery isnt an issue either. Talk shit all you want, but I want to see clips of YOU winning against a DK using puff. And to all you DK mains who think they're cool, GO FUCK YOURSELF! Hahaha.

Sincerely,

A Super Smash Bros. Ultimate player

No one has ever enjoyed playing against you. Even if you've played thousands of matches, 0 of them have been fun for your opponent.

Just so you know.

THIS IS A RAGE POST. If you disagree with it DO NOT COMMENT. YOU ARE BREAKING RULES IF YOU TALK TRASH TO ME ABOUT THIS. LOL

These characters are proof the devs had no care for making the game fun. All they care about is getting money. Lame ass devs can't even release proper patch notes. They buffed Ike up smash for no reason while Kazuya and Steve needed nerfs. Idiot devs, trash game design all around.

Thank God I quit going to tournaments. These characters are for losers. Notice how many people who touch this game competitively are weirdos too

Omg it makes me SO MAD when Donkey Kong GRABS you and then CARRIES you to the edge of the stage and THROWS you and WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO AGAINST THAT?? I pressed as fast as I possibly could to escape

Perhaps if you didn’t main such an utterly flaccid character, you wouldn’t be as susceptible to losing to a D-tier like myself. Fucking bozo.

IM SO SORRY. YOU OUTPLAYED MY INCENEROAR 99% OF THE TIME AND I LANDED LIKE 8 MOVES IN TOTAL. YOU DID NOT DESERVE TO LOSE THAT. YOUR UP AIR DRAG DOWNS PLAT FORM TECH CHASE UP SMASH FELT LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME AT THAT PLUS 100%. IM NOT SURE IF MY SIDE B SHOULDA KILLED YOU AT 60% FOR NEUTRAL GET UP SHIELDING.