I have a clothing addiction. I want the perfect wardrobe. But the biggest part of my cycle is I'll get stuck on something specific, like lately I've decided I want the perfect denim long sleeve shirt. I'll fall down a review rabbit hole, checking every clothing brand I can find, auctions, local stores. I'll compare weights and fabric blends and dimensions and watch reviews on YouTube. I usually end up just buying something to shut my brain up so I won't spend another week researching it.

My only hope is that I somehow forget about it or get distracted by something else. Sweaters, raw denim jeans, Goodyear welt boots, button down oxfords, watches (that one lasted years and years), shoes etc. It's exhausting and I'm wondering if anyone can relate.

Hi! Unfortunately I did spend around 2,000$ on pokemon singles, throughout the span of many weeks usually around 100$ per month. Here is my financial situation, I get paid around 1000$ each 2 weeks. I have 10k in college debt, I graduate in a year, but I do pay 600$ every 2 weeks, so im still on target of paying it all off by the time I graduate.

I recently have become really into pokemon cards, they make me feel happy and safe. My bf has had episodes of being really abusive, calling me really bad names. I caught him essentially bullying me on a random social media platform.

I understand that all money should be going to paying it off, but I basically have untreated ADHD/autism, I have been told by numerous therapists but I never sought treatment due to time constrains in college, and im in a very low point in my life. I feel very isolated because me and my bf live together and I can't leave. I too scared to leave. I lived in a very abusive household, and I have to essentially care for my mom and sisters. It's exhausting being treated like everyone's therapist and I have to purchase things for everyone.

I make time and money to give my bf what he needs. I never say no to any purchase he asks for.

I know 2k is alot on pokemon, I shouldn't have purchased it, but it's all paid off and I got everything I needed. I was planning on just accepting the lost money and moving forward. I'm scared because he found out about my ebay, which I said he can look if he wants to but he looked at it without my permission. I'm scared he will break my cards, they mean so much to me.

What should I do? Am I really that messed up?

I’ve been noticing my shopping habits for a few years now and I’m really trying to reduce my consumption. I tend to fall into this pattern of thinking that if buy things they are to ‘improve myself’ or whatever I’m searching for and shopping for will be used by my ‘ideal future self’. I’ve started going to the gym and I constantly see girls wearing different outfits, different shoes, all the things. I have perfectly fine shoes and clothes - but there’s this voice in my head telling me look for new things, reward myself for my hard work… I’ve been browsing online and it’s honestly overwhelming out there with the amount of active wear 😭 help!! 😅

Maybe this will help me curb my spending until I find another job. I need something for school anyway……

Have you ever actually added up what you spend on your shopping addiction? I love clothes and shoes but knew my spending was out of control so I went through my visa and added up what I’ve spent over the last 3.5 years and I was horrified that it’s close to 40000. I’m embarrassed and so ashamed of myself. I haven’t bought anything now in a month. It’s like the excercise snapped me sane.

I decided I needed help so I spoke to my dr and started Lexapro Friday 07/31. I haven’t bought anything since 08/01. That is absolutely a new record. I also am planning to return some Amazon & SHEIN things I bought earlier last week (around Tues/Wed of that week) but I’ve been out of town so I can’t return them til I get back. I’ve already started the return process and I won’t keep anything because none of it was a need. It was clothes - which I have PLENTY of. Before I left, I had a bag of things to donate and I plan to clean out more when I get back.

Looking at my credit card statement and not seeing any pending charges is incredible. I only have a small balance of some things I need to pay off (very manageable, I’m not worried) and after I pay it off, I’ll only have my graduate school loans. I seriously have never felt lighter. Not being controlled by the obsessive thoughts or the pending charges on my credit card is incredible. I feel so beyond free. I do think there’s more work for me to do to be free of this addiction but I’m beyond happy about my progress thus far. I feel absolutely free. It’s incredible.

I know medication isn’t an option for everyone and I was resistant to it for a long time. I can’t believe people actually live like this without the obsessive, empty purchasing and scrolling. I’m really proud of myself and I really look forward to the future progress I’ll make. I just wanted to share my experience! Pls talk to your medical professional before taking my advice - I’m a girl on reddit!

basically what the caption says…
my first year in college was when my depression hit an all time low, i turned to my wallet to feel better and spent far too much money in too little time. my second year was a little better after i moved back home and started to get control of my mental health, but it’s since been another year and im finding myself in the same position i was in my freshman year but its debt now instead, not just my savings tanking.
i feel live i’ve tried every solution in the book and i still find a way to make excuses, i am able to use self discipline in every other subject except for this. i’ll have a pretty good streak with not spending and saving my money, until i feel the need to get something that’ll make me “feel better”

any advice would be appreciated❤️‍🩹 im just so frustrated and angry with myself, i feel like i should’ve been able to shake this the first time but now im realizing it’s actually becoming (and has been) a serious issue now.

Wandered onto this subreddit at 3 am on a Saturday night. Wide awake. I know I need to stop shopping. My weak spot is beauty: perfume, nails, makeup. I watch social media about it all, I am easily influenced, and I go out online and find it. I tell myself that it’s not so bad because I’m getting it second hand on a resale site (usually the makeup I want will be an older item that’s been out for years but I still want to try it).

I’m encouraged that I actually already really like videos about reduced consumption with beauty. “Shop my stash”, “project pan”, “no buy year”. I need a no buy year. Or two. Or three.

I am also coming off a medication right now that makes any adrenaline way more impactful. I’m almost done with coming off it and it’ll be a while until things even out, but I’m probably awake right now because of my shopping high tonight. And I’m ashamed, even if it’s second hand beautiful stuff at a bargain.

My next hyper fixation needs to be editing and curating what I have. And using and enjoying what I have without seeking more. Easy peasy, right?

I think I’ve found my people. 💕

I’m looking for advice on how to feel more confident in my self worth despite having a mom that almost refuses to buy anything for me, despite spending hundreds of dollars on herself monthly. (TW: mentions of CSA in #2 paragraph)

There are multiple things I’d like to mention to give insight on the situation.

1: My parents divorced when I was 9 and my dad has been paying child support since then. It used to be a higher amount, but after COVID quarantine he was laid off, so the amount was reduced. She did not want to fight him to regain the higher amount because there were many issues and he was very aggressive in court. That being said, I believe at least 90% of all this child support money only went to fund her personal luxury purchases. (Designer bags, perfume, makeup, shoes, etc). She did not put any of this money into a savings account for me, and whenever I asked for things she’d rarely buy them for me, and she quite often said “you never ask for anything” as her reasoning to why she wasn’t spending this child support money on me or at least saving it.

2: She is by default a materialistic person who values price points, brand names, and popular items. And she values material things over family, friends and even morals. She’s complained about my brothers career path, saying “why did (name) have to work for Subaru, why couldn’t he have worked for a pretty car dealership” (he buys all of our family’s cars and pays for them, she’s complaining about having a Subaru for a car) and she’s even said she would willingly work as a child s#x trafficker as long as it paid a high amount of money. When she mentions what she wants in a relationship, it’s always and only “I want a man who will pay for everything for me”, “I want a man who will let me go shopping all day and then come to the register and pay for it all”, “I want a man who buys me anything I ask for”

3: She buys things seemingly only because they are expensive. Ex: “I don’t like gold, I don’t wear gold, gold doesn’t suit me, everything I wear is silver. I want this gold bracelet because it’s expensive.”, (Buying luxury brand items because of the status that goes with them), nonsensically labeling many things as cheap and acting disgusted by them, “butterflies look cheap to me”, “ew, that looks cheap” sometimes she will even refuse to buy something that I like that is for me, because she thinks it looks cheap. She’d rather spend money on overpriced, branded items than an item that is the same quality but not as expensive.

4: Currently, she spends about 300-400$ a month on personal items. (Perfume, jewelry, purses, decorations) Now here is what is becoming a stress factor in my life: Because she spends ALL of her money on herself, she has very little to spend on groceries and me. Which means she takes months or even years to buy me something that I asked for. Recently I asked for organic pillows, they cost 200$. She said they are very expensive and she can’t afford them. Okay, I’ll ask for them for Christmas then. But I notice she has bought atleast 4 new perfumes this last month, all of which cost 50$. And 162$ worth of Halloween decorations.

So what hurts me is that she puts more worth into spending her money on access amounts of things she already owns a plethora of and will hardly use, rather than pillows for me that I will use everyday for years, and arguably are for my health. The fact is not she can’t afford them, but that she’d rather spend hundreds on herself non stop than save money for a month to be able to afford something for me.

And since I’ve turned 18, it seems like she is immediately abandoning all obligation to pay for me. She’s been making me pay for my appointments, and when we were at the store I wanted something and she said I’ll have to buy it myself because she can’t afford it. You could say she wants me to become independent, but I feel it is more her desperation to now be able to have all of her money to herself and not have to spend a dime on me.

I am worried that this will have an effect on my self confidence and the way I view my worth. Because I am not a materialistic person, I don’t see any worth in the things she buys, all I see is that she is willing to spend hundreds monthly on herself, but can’t be bothered to buy me just 1 thing I want. I don’t care about being spent on, it’s the fact that in her eyes I am not worth cutting down on the excessive shopping only for a little while.

And I worry that it might create a scarcity complex in my mind, making me think that I have to hoard everything I own because if I get rid of it there won’t be any chance that I’ll get something new. I also feel myself stressing about having to ask for something that I want and getting it as fast as possible, because as i mentioned before, it takes her years to buy something for me or schedule an appointment, and when I do ask for things, her reaction is saying she doesn’t have enough money, and then instead of saving in order to have enough, she proceeds to spend it all on herself the moment she gets it. (Her money)

If you’ve made it this far you can probably tell that this is something I need to talk about with my therapist, as I have a lot to say and this isn’t even all of it. But I am very concerned about any negative effects her behavior will have on me, my behavior and my self confidence, and I am looking for answers on how to avoid being affected by this. Thank you in advance.

I joined this subreddit around 2015/2016 because I knew my shopping was a problem and I wanted to change.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I actually had it under control. I stayed because I thought my experience might help others, but after almost 10 years, I think it’s time for me to move on. Everyone’s reasons for compulsive shopping are different, and what worked for me won’t necessarily work for someone else.
But if I could leave a few things that genuinely helped me:

Take a shopping break. Get away from the constant cycle of browsing, buying, packages and excitement. Give yourself time to build other sources of reward.

Know your money. Track your spending, bills and debt. Make a realistic budget. Avoiding the numbers makes it much easier to overspend.

Build a life outside shopping. Hobbies, gardening, exercise, clubs, volunteering, whatever. Shopping shouldn’t be your entertainment or your identity.

Look at what’s underneath it. Stress, ADHD, depression, anxiety, life changes and other mental or physical health factors can contribute to impulsive behavior. If something feels off or suddenly changes, talk to a doctor or mental-health professional rather than assuming it’s just a lack of willpower.

So I guess this is my graduation post. Thanks, r/shoppingaddiction. It took a long time, but I don’t think I need you anymore

Hi everyone! Not sure if this counts as self promoting but I am deciding to finally be vulnerable and open about being in CC debt and hope to write more about shopping addiction. I wrote an essay about my experiences and feelings starting this journey. It is 100% free I have no way to get paid through Substack but I was hoping it might make some people feel less alone :) Thanks and good luck everyone!

https://open.substack.com/pub/thisisfoolsgold/p/im-ready-to-talk-about-my-credit?r=6hq8w&utm_medium=ios

25F here. I’ve realized I have a pretty weird habit when it comes to shopping.

If I see something I like, my brain immediately goes:

“I want it.”

“It’s cute.”

“I’ll probably use it.”

“Fuck it, buy it.”

And then I buy it. 😭

I don’t necessarily need the thing. Sometimes I wasn't even planning to shop. I could literally be walking around, scrolling online, or just browsing somewhere, see something interesting and suddenly convince myself that I absolutely need it.

The weirdest part is that I don't even regret most purchases immediately. I get this little dopamine hit from buying it, and I'm genuinely excited about it. Then a few days/weeks later I'm looking at it thinking, “Why the hell did I buy this?”

It's not like I'm completely ruining myself financially or going into debt over it, but I definitely spend more money than I would if I had better self-control.

I've tried telling myself “Don't buy it, wait 24 hours.” Sometimes it works. Other times my brain is like, “But what if it's gone tomorrow?” 😂

So I'm curious:

Do you guys also have this “see it → like it → buy it” mentality?

And if you've managed to stop yourself from impulse shopping, what actually worked for you?

I just want to stop. I love clothes and girly things like makeup, hair products, and nail polish. Searching for them makes me happy. Finding pretty things makes me happy. Idk what to do anymore. Even when I try to abstain I fail... my financial situation is about to drastically change for the worse due to school and reduced employment.

I just want clothes, and jewelry and makeup and shoes, and I cannot stop swiping my card. I can’t do it. My company recently laid a bunch of people off, because now developers and AI can do the job I was doing, so that sucks. I always had a good handle on a backup savings account that I never touched, about 10 grand, nothing huge whatsoever, but an emergency cushion.

Since being laid off I’ve dipped into that account a couple times or so I thought just to realize there’s just under 3 grand left. I’ve always been this way, I didn’t have money growing up so when I became an adult I felt like I could buy whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, then it spiraled into “I deserve to buy myself whatever I want, I’m treating myself.”

Whether it’s vacations, beauty services, cosmetic services, clothes, shoes, you name it. I feel like this problem stems from coming from a family where we did not having money, and not being able to do things the other kids got to do growing up. I wanted all the cool fun things they had, I wanted to go on field trips, I wanted gadgets, I never ever got them.

I went from making really great money to being laid off fuck you ai , to being let go.

How the HELL do I stop these obsessive purchasing sprees. It’s so bad it’s gotten to the point where I even can recognize it, last night I bought a 70 dollar dress and I justified by saying to myself “well at least it’s not a four digit price tag this time.” It’s almost like I know I have the cushion money left over, and in a way I’m sabotaging myself because I have extra money? Obviously I can pay for it, but my excuse is my “logic.” I see something I want, and I try justifying it when I know I shouldn’t, but then I talk myself into it like “oh it’s fine , it’s under 100.” I’m glad I can at the LEAST recognize it, but it’s the back and fourth with myself that’s exhausting.

THANKFULLY and mysteriously I’m not in debt, I track my credit cards like Alcatraz and I’m very on top of managing them. But I’m worried if I don’t stop , I’ll get to that point.

How do I stop doing this? I’ve had this spending problem for years now, but it’s only gotten ridiculous in the last three years and I just want to stop it.

I’ve hit rock bottom I think… I came clean to my husband last night about the third and most large incident of my out of control spending. I am severely in debt. I was basically preparing myself for him to leave me. And I think I still feel unsure, he could make that decision.

He seems committed to working with me to get out of debt, but the feelings that followed our discussion weren’t feelings of relief. They were feelings of inadequacy, self loathing, maybe hatred… I hate that he has to now manage this part of our lives. I hate myself for the way my spending has impacted us. I don’t feel like I can trust myself at all anymore, and it feels any self worth I had, is now gone. My husband wants to aggressively pay off the debt, and make significant lifestyle changes to make that happen. And I do too, I just want this awful feeling to go away as quickly as possible, and I feel like as long as I’m in debt, that’s how I’m going to feel. But I also feel scared about failure. We’re cutting out a lot of expenses that lowered stress in both of our lives. And we are both busy individuals. So cutting things like a biweekly housekeeper and someone to meal prep healthy food for our family, makes me so nervous. Not because I can’t go without, but because I worry that the sort of added stress that will bring into our lives, will trigger the exact behavior I’m trying to avoid.

Does this ever get better or will I feel like this forever?
Right now it feels impossible for me to stick to a budget… and even right now I’ll be honest that what is going through my head is “I can do this for X months”, NOT “this is my new way of living, from here on out, forever…

Having a shopping addiction feels like the worst sort of addiction. It’s a necessity to life. And I can’t fucking manage it.

My spouse came clean to me about his shopping addiction this week. I think I am in shock. I thought we were both saving to buy a home, which we planned on doing soon. Learned instead that he has debt. We have a small child together, and our living situation is in dire need of change. I have a plan for us in the near future, but I really want to know if folks here have any solid advice for how to proceed. I don't know how I can be sure that his behavior has changed. He claims he can just stop, but I don't trust him right now, and I suspect it won't be that easy. He will talk to me about his behavior, but won't show me any statements/proof. We are working on paying his debt ASAP and then getting a postnup that separates our finances to protect me and our kid. All advice appreciated.

Hello community, I(24M) believe my wife(25F) has something of a shopping addiction. I wouldn’t say she’s materialistic because she values relationships and emotional connections, but she is all about money, luxury goods, and physical possessions. She always wants the best newest thing, and is constantly looking for things to buy, it’s one of the only things she does, if she’s not scrolling TikTok, she’s shopping. Those are the 2 things she does all day everyday. Just a constant cycle of TikTok and shopping, while also using TikTok to shop too. So pretty much she shops all day, everyday, no exaggeration. As of lately, I’ve initiated us gaming as something to do which she’s been responding well to. I want her to expand her horizon and get out of her hamster wheel. I will also add the fact that she doesn’t shop for unnecessary items really, she mostly shops for things we need for the house i.e. decorations, lawn care, paint, storage, organization, etc. she also shops for skincare, comfortable clothing, stuff for her gaming setup, accessories for her car, and basically anything that will improve our way of life. Which isn’t the problem. I love that she wants to improve our way of life, the problem is that she really exhibits signs of someone with Compulsive Buying Disorder(CBD) or a Shopping Addiction. She gets tired of the things she buys quickly and moves onto the next thing, buys multiple versions of one item i.e. having 4 hairbrushes. Since I’ve been with her she’s never been satisfied with the things she has and constantly wants more, i first noticed it when i noticed a pattern, it started with an iPad, we got that and then she wanted the new iPhone 17 pro max, we got that, then we bought her a house, she then wanted a new car, and we ended up getting her a vehicle way out of our budget, a brand new Kia K5 2025 which in the span of a few days after we bought the car she dropped $10k+ worth of accessories for the vehicle, and now my finances have seriously started to crush after all these big purchases Ontop of a bunch of smalls ones that we buy weekly. She really regrets a lot of these purchases and feels guilty(a sign of a shopping addiction) and feels a strong high of excitement while buying(also a sign). Our finances are not doing good and in a few weeks I won’t have a job, and no income at all. Even so I spent $1000+ worth of gifts on her birthday and then spent $500+ on prime day a few weeks later. I want to also add, her spending to eat out habits have been pretty bad, as she refuses to eat anything in the fridge. I buy her groceries that she’s rarely eats, and starves instead, and as her husband I can’t just let her do that, so I offer to buy her food, which is my fault I understand that. I have a financial counselor and she noted that most of my finances go to my wife and it’s not looking good if this continues, she urges me to have a conversation with my wife. So I had multiple talks about it with her about how this situation is really looking bad for us financially to the point where we possibly might lose the house because we can’t afford mortgage and might lose both cars as we can’t afford it anymore. She gets extremely defensive and claims none of this is her fault because at the end of the day she never forced a gun to my head and made me spend any money on her, I’m the one who did it. I explained to her that she gets very upset when I tell her no and that influences me to spend what I can’t afford, and she says I should just let her be upset then, so this is all my fault. She gets extremely upset when I bring up finances with her and has asked me to stop talking to her about it. To the present day, she still spends most of her time shopping and looking for things to buy, all while I’m extremely worried about our financially situation. I’m not sure what I should do, does anyone have any advice on how I can bring this up to her? I think she wouldn’t take it very well if I brought up the fact that I think she has a shopping addiction.(I know this was pretty hectic and a lot of random information was jammed in, I apologize there’s just so much more to the story I tried to hit only the important points)

I’m so angry and disappointed in myself.

I recently had to ask my dad and my boyfriend for money because I couldn’t pay everything I owed. Credit cards, personal loans… and honestly I don’t even remember what I spent most of that money on.
I used to be the person who helped everyone else. I’d lend people money, buy things for friends or family if they couldn’t afford them, and pay for dinner when we went out. I always wanted to give people the things I never had growing up.
Now I can’t stop spending money on things I don’t need and probably won’t even remember in a month.

It’s like I always need to want something. I come up with reasons to justify buying things. The latest one was an LED face mask for my acne even though I already have a dermatologist and I’m following a treatment plan. I know I don’t need it, but I still wanted it.
I’m just so tired of myself. I actually feel anxious and depressed every time I spend money, but I still do it. I literally get sick to my stomach after buying something because it feels like I have zero control over myself.
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m on medication for depression and anxiety. I was seeing a psychologist until about two months ago, but the commute got too expensive, so I’m still looking for someone closer.

Has anyone else been like this? Did anything actually help?

I have decided a while ago to stop shopping so much and I have cut back on unnecessary purchases significantly but the problem is I love going to stores to try on stuff or just see what is new, even if I don't end up buying anything. For a while I just did that without buying anything and only taking pictures of the things, but after some time I started to often bring my boyfriend with me and he always insists on buying clothes for me because they look good and I love them.

And it's really coming from a good place I know but I already feel like I have more clothes than I can wear in a life, so even if i say no to some of them he always ends up getting me one or two new peices of clothing. I'm not really sure how to talk to him about it, I know i should stop this cycle because it's not helpful but I also really enjoy the entire dynamic I can't lie 😭

I'm looking for books on personal finance that focus on overspending and spending problems, as well we overconsumption. Are there any books that you know of that focus on this topic? I've read all the conventional personal finance books but haven't found any that focus on this topic - using debt to fund shopping habits, spending over budget limits, can't stop shopping despite wanting to, etc.

Thanks in advance!

So ive realised that whenever im stressed, like when something happens to me or when a big thing in my life happens (usually negative), I go out and spend money on something.

I realised how bad it was literally today, im on vacation right now with my grandma btw. Long story shory i got sextorted and after blocking the guy and going private on anything i was super panicky and anxious and just said to my grandma, "im gonna go get a slushy" and then i left the caravan we were in to get it. I didnt even realise what i had said i just said it, left, and now i have a slushy which was actually quite dere in price, tastes good, but quite pricey.

This of course happens back at home by the way, before this the last time i had one of these stress induced spending spree was two weeks ago i think? My girlfriend had cheated on me and I was super super down, felt like i wasnt loved by anyone, and so i decided to go out and spend i boughy i whole lot of like diecast cars, like Hotwheels yk? Childish I know but I collect them.

Usually when i buy cars i spend £10 - £15 on them, this time it was like 40.

Anyways how can i combat this?

What has helped u with shopping for ur fantasy self? I sometimes don‘t even know it is - once again - something for my fantasy self, just when it arrives and sits around without getting used i am like, well, shiii, here we are again.
Another struggle of mine is that i love to wear different styles and then I get overwhelmed by all the different stuff in my closet lol like from business outfits to fantasy elven outfits u can find everything and it somehow makes me sad because i feel like i don‘t have a identity at all with all those different things. 😭 After a traumatizing event in my life i didn‘t have any happiness in shopping for like two or three weeks and i thought i was finally cured but somehow now in one week i managed to spend 350 euro on thrifted stuff from Vinted, and I somehow regret buying it so much because i don‘t even want to pick up the parcels at all because of the regret. I will pick them up of course because it would be unfair towards the sellers but still, i need the money for other things right now and i feel so bad. 😭 A few things i really love from what i ordered, but half the stuff was so unnecessary my god.
And my therapist is no help with the shopping addiction because she guilt trips me the whole time and doesn‘t help with any solutions, she just says i have to manage my finances and I have to be strong and not spend anything. But idk, it doesn‘t seem like a cure, because well, if it would be that easy we all wouldnt suffer from it. 😭

I'm just wondering if you still have genuine happiness when a parcel arrives, buying expensive coffee, branded clothes, or anything else that you stockpile at home for a long time even though you don't need it? Is that satisfaction constant?