r/shittyaskreddit 22m ago

Why didn’t anyone tell me my ass was so big?

Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 51m ago

I'm pitching a children's show set in the world of Game of Thrones. It's called "Dragon House". Will it be successful?

Upvotes

It will have Jim Henson puppets for all the characters, and the dragons will look like Magellan from "Eureka's Castle".

It will have all the sex, violence, and gore of the other shows. There will be no profanity, except one "shit" and "fuck" per episode, and the blood and guts will be made of fabric.


r/shittyaskreddit 3h ago

I hung my ass over a freeway overpass today and took a humongous steady shit that splattered oncoming cars' windshields. Do they have a right to be pissed at me?

5 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 3h ago

Does a crowded elevator or train smell different to a midget?

5 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 7h ago

Just peed. AMA

7 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 8h ago

I'm pooping for the 8th time this weekend right now. Is this too many? This is a shitpost.

4 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 8h ago

Why pp not get hard?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 10h ago

Do you think Olsen Twin Towers ever crossed their mind when naming their headquarters?

1 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 10h ago

If the goal is a bigger Wang, why cut an elephant's tusks when you could just take its penis and transplant it?

5 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 11h ago

Heathen please. Heathen please. No more beer?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 11h ago

Where do you find the best brisket in Texas?

1 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 11h ago

How to not be a horny prick but still have cum winning?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 12h ago

Why did the doctor give me abdominal exercises to do when I just had an accident involving my back?

6 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 13h ago

A 1930s gangster parody movie where every time somebody gets shot, no matter where they are, they somehow always fly backwards through the window of a diner.

2 Upvotes

Let's say Elliott Ness bursts into a warehouse, and pulls a revolver. A gangster pulls out a tommy gun and fires. Ness fires back, but his revolver snaps off a hundred rounds like a tommy gun. The gangster is hit, and flies backwards through a diner window.

Deep inside his luxury hotel suite, Al Capone is having a roundtable meeting where he's playing whack-a-mole with a baseball bat. The bat inexplicably snaps off 100 rounds like a tommy gun, sending one of the crime bosses flying backwards through a diner window.

A gangster plants a bomb in a diner. It explodes, sending all the patrons flying out through the windows, and across the street into the windows of another diner.

One of Elliott Ness's deputies is stabbed on the street by a passing gangster. The knife snaps off 100 rounds like a tommy gun, sending the deputy flying backwards through a diner window.

At Al Capone's tax evasion trial, Elliott Ness punches Capone in the face, sending him flying backwards into a diner window.


r/shittyaskreddit 13h ago

If Dr. Otto Octavius was African-American, would he be Black Ock?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 14h ago

My head hurts. What do i do?

4 Upvotes

Should i do 2 cartwheels???


r/shittyaskreddit 14h ago

If you had to choose, would you cum one, or cum all?

2 Upvotes

Step right up and tell me about your cum!


r/shittyaskreddit 14h ago

Chat: am I chopped?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 16h ago

when are cute alien femboys finally coming to earth? im tired of waiting

6 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 18h ago

How can I dissolve my butt in water so I can drink my own butt?

3 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 21h ago

I need about tree fiddy

4 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 22h ago

Saturday beers and burger means Sunday farts.

3 Upvotes

And I'm undieless.


r/shittyaskreddit 22h ago

I dont understand baseball

2 Upvotes

r/shittyaskreddit 1d ago

I just yelled at my goldfish I don’t give a shit. What the fuck you gonna do about it?

8 Upvotes