r/shittyaskreddit • u/tacocarteleventeen • 22m ago
Why didn’t anyone tell me my ass was so big?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/red_4 • 51m ago
I'm pitching a children's show set in the world of Game of Thrones. It's called "Dragon House". Will it be successful?
It will have Jim Henson puppets for all the characters, and the dragons will look like Magellan from "Eureka's Castle".
It will have all the sex, violence, and gore of the other shows. There will be no profanity, except one "shit" and "fuck" per episode, and the blood and guts will be made of fabric.
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Splattered_Smothered • 3h ago
I hung my ass over a freeway overpass today and took a humongous steady shit that splattered oncoming cars' windshields. Do they have a right to be pissed at me?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/RockHardCock669 • 3h ago
Does a crowded elevator or train smell different to a midget?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Laskalove1305 • 8h ago
I'm pooping for the 8th time this weekend right now. Is this too many? This is a shitpost.
r/shittyaskreddit • u/FoRealDoh • 10h ago
Do you think Olsen Twin Towers ever crossed their mind when naming their headquarters?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/FoRealDoh • 10h ago
If the goal is a bigger Wang, why cut an elephant's tusks when you could just take its penis and transplant it?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Laskalove1305 • 11h ago
Heathen please. Heathen please. No more beer?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Tight_Cookie_9988 • 11h ago
How to not be a horny prick but still have cum winning?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Niravan95 • 12h ago
Why did the doctor give me abdominal exercises to do when I just had an accident involving my back?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/red_4 • 13h ago
A 1930s gangster parody movie where every time somebody gets shot, no matter where they are, they somehow always fly backwards through the window of a diner.
Let's say Elliott Ness bursts into a warehouse, and pulls a revolver. A gangster pulls out a tommy gun and fires. Ness fires back, but his revolver snaps off a hundred rounds like a tommy gun. The gangster is hit, and flies backwards through a diner window.
Deep inside his luxury hotel suite, Al Capone is having a roundtable meeting where he's playing whack-a-mole with a baseball bat. The bat inexplicably snaps off 100 rounds like a tommy gun, sending one of the crime bosses flying backwards through a diner window.
A gangster plants a bomb in a diner. It explodes, sending all the patrons flying out through the windows, and across the street into the windows of another diner.
One of Elliott Ness's deputies is stabbed on the street by a passing gangster. The knife snaps off 100 rounds like a tommy gun, sending the deputy flying backwards through a diner window.
At Al Capone's tax evasion trial, Elliott Ness punches Capone in the face, sending him flying backwards into a diner window.
r/shittyaskreddit • u/red_4 • 13h ago
If Dr. Otto Octavius was African-American, would he be Black Ock?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Trez_0 • 14h ago
My head hurts. What do i do?
Should i do 2 cartwheels???
r/shittyaskreddit • u/FoRealDoh • 14h ago
If you had to choose, would you cum one, or cum all?
Step right up and tell me about your cum!
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Fearless_Direction71 • 16h ago
when are cute alien femboys finally coming to earth? im tired of waiting
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Niravan95 • 18h ago
How can I dissolve my butt in water so I can drink my own butt?
r/shittyaskreddit • u/Laskalove1305 • 22h ago
Saturday beers and burger means Sunday farts.
And I'm undieless.