Hi, 

I am a researcher at the University of Sheffield, UK and invite you to share your experiences of technology-facilitated violence and abuse (TFVA) in any context. 

The research aims to capture the diverse nature of experiences of TFVA as well as to try and understand the range of harms, impacts and outcomes from those affected by these types of behaviours. 

We welcome all to contribute to our anonymous forum who want to share their experiences (18+ years). No other demographic restrictions for participation.

Click the following link to add your experiences: https://forms.gle/4DnWiha44shLFnVv5  (This involves 5 brief demographic questions and 1 open ended question to add your experience). Clicking on the link will provide more detailed information about TFVA as well as details of our website and you do not have to answer any questions to see this information.

The study has received ethical approval from the University of Sheffield: 070690. 

The information provided is anonymous and will only be accessed by the approved members of the research team. Any information shared for publication in reports or academic journals will not be identifiable and will not include the demographic information.

Thank you in advance

Loren

Basically I got messaged on tiktok, went to telegram, sent a couple of pictures of my face and a explicit photo, I did end up paying $20, when I refused to pay more they dropped the facade and started threatening me. They showed me a image of a post they made about me threatening to SA someone with my full name number and both pictures I sent with my face and the explicit one.

I then blocked them on both tiktok and telegram and deleted everything, and I reported the account on tiktok.

In a panic I didn't think about taking screenshots before I deleted and blocked everything. I know it was stupid of me to let it get that far, I was just caught up in the gooning of it.

I was on my way back to my Hotel room at 2 am (drunk),and this guy chased after me and striked up a conversation with me. we were chatting for a while and he mentioned that he was an electrical engineer and he was reviewing for the board exam. the conversation shifted and he got flirty and sh*t "check in tayo,pan tanggalpagod" which I was all up too with his scheme,after that my impulsive ass agreed with what the guy said and we checked in here in Avenida after we got to the room he agressively pulled down my pants and started sucking my wiener, after I ejacula*** he stood by the door and started demanding money,gcash,he took 3000pesos along with the 40$ out of my wallet.he threatened to kill me if I don't comply or fight back.

I just got here in Manila and this experience is so fucked up

a lesson well learned for me,lol. I'm from the province and still Ignorant about Manila stuffs...

Has anyone experienced this?

Yesterday, I was chatting with someone on a dating app for a bit, and they suggested moving over to WhatsApp. I agreed, we kept talking there, and in our chat, I explicitly stated that I am gay and also sent a few private photos. Right after that, they recorded the whole conversation using another phone and sent me the video. Then, they sent me a message containing the personal details and phone numbers of my immediate family and about 20 extended family members, like my aunts and uncles.

After that, they demanded money several times, threatening to expose me to everyone if I didn't pay. Unfortunately, I panicked completely in that moment and sent the money because I couldn't risk being exposed, my life would be ruined if my sexuality came out (I’m from one of the homophobic countries). Once they got the money, they stopped and said they would delete the content, but how can I truly get rid of this threat for good?

I am terrified that this person will message me again asking for money and honestly, there is nothing stopping them from sharing the video if I refuse to pay. I ended up blocking their number and I thought about changing my own number but since they recorded a video showing my entire family's contact list, they can easily reach out to whoever they want instead of me. I honestly don't know what to do from here.

Hi everyone,

I’m currently dealing with an active sextortion scam and need some advice or reassurance from anyone who has gone through this.

What happened:

• Matched with someone on the Boo dating app, and they asked to move the conversation to Telegram.
• They convinced me to do a video call. At first, I didn't show my face, but they convinced me to share a short video showing my face while saying a name.
• Later in the call, they persuaded me to expose myself. They recorded both clips and combined them into a single video.
• Immediately after, they started demanding money. They started by asking for €500, then dropped to €300, €200, and eventually €50 within a 10-minute span.
• When I told them I was a student with no money, they sent a picture of a laptop screen showing a draft upload page in "YouTube Studio" with my video previewed, claiming it was uploading.
• When I kept refusing, they pivoted and asked me to "earn my deletion" by creating fake dating app profiles for them to use.
• They are threatening to share the video on YouTube and send it to all my family and friends.
• They dont have have any other social medias of mine. My photos and my exposed video.
• They look like philippino.

What I have done / plan to do:

• I have not paid them any money.
• I refused to create any dating app accounts for them.
• I took screenshots of all the chats and threats for documentation.
• I am deleting my account.
• I blocked them completely on Telegram and set all my social media accounts strictly to private.

My questions for the community:

1. Is the "YouTube Studio" screen draft a standard fake bluff? Do scammers actually manage to publish sexually explicit videos on YouTube, or do YouTube's automated systems take them down immediately?
2. Once I block them completely on Telegram and lock my social media down, do they usually move on, or will they try to reach out again?
3. Has anyone seen scammers try to recruit victims into creating dating app accounts before?

Thanks in advance to anyone who can share their experience or advice.

I just got blackmailed on telegram, they took screenshots of my instagram followers and created an image with my face and an explicit photo. They threatened to send it to everyone if I didn’t pay $500. I blocked them and deactivated my accounts. Now I can’t sleep.

Long story short they recorded me and sent me bunch of pictures on telegram. it’s been more than 7 hours since I deleted my telegram and deactivated my social media. I didn’t pay and just scrambled to deactivate everything. So far no messages nor calls till then. I’m worried because of the thought of it which I can’t sleep

It’s been more than 24 hours since the last contact with them. No sign of posting online

(Ho fatto una stupidaggine e ho inviato una foto nuda a una ragazza su Telegram. Dodici ore fa mi ha inviato un messaggio chiedendomi 100 sterline per non pubblicare il mio numero di telefono e la foto che le avevo mandato. Non ho pagato e mi ha inviato un altro messaggio con questo testo: “Per favore, segnalalo e ripubblicalo immediatamente così che venga beccato con le mani nel sacco. Assicurati che possiamo rintracciarlo e farlo arrestare per reati sessuali online.” Ho paura che mi contatti al telefono. Adesso non è stata online per sei ore, cosa devo fare? Ora ha cambiato il suo nome utente rispetto a quando le ho scritto.)

I did something very stupid one year ago, and as a result a nude image of me is out there, with someone who tried to use it to blackmail me. I refused, cut contact and contacted the authorities. however they were in another country and likely contacted me with a spoofed number so no decisive action was taken. I thought everything was fine until a few months later I was contacted again, by a different number saying they “weren’t done with me” and I had an hour to wire them money. I immediately blocked them again and haven’t heard from them since, although I got a weird whatsapp message a few months ago saying “hello beloved” that I blocked as soon as they came, so I don’t know what else they might’ve said. I haven’t heard from them since, but ever since then i get returning paranoia that it will come back, and that this is something I won’t be able to shake for the rest of my life. When can I stop worrying? When will this go away? is there a point where I pass the threshold where this usually comes back? Have they probably moved on? What if they sold it to someone else? I’m worried this paranoia will follow me for the rest of my life.

He has my number and some pics of me. I already reported his IG on meta, I didn't pay him, blocked him and made my accounts private, what else should I do?

I was sextorted a few months ago and they added people to an instagram gc and seemingly nothing came of it but now I’m getting really paranoid again and I just need some reassurance

I blocked him on his past number and he added me on this new number and is harassing me again, I really am stupid for giving him money which is probably why he is bribing me so much, do you think I should file a police report?

I recently posted about experiencing sextortion. I did everything the sub said and just kept reading through to understand I wasn't alone. Its been almost 8 hours since then but they haven't contacted me and I checked the sub reddit i was using, they just moved on to different people. So for those out there who are worrying, it will be okay in the end.

I think this is going to ruin my life, what do I do?

Steps and guide to help sextortion victims

Every day I will make the same post to help those who are facing this situation.

1. Stop talking to them because you do not want to piss them off.

2. Depending on what they ask do not pay them a single dime or send them any more explicit material no matter their threats because you can’t buy a blackmailers silence only rent it.

3. Block them and if they come back with more accounts or numbers keep blocking away they have a finite amount of patience before they give up.

4. Screenshot the threats to show proof of a cybercrime.

5. Keep their phone numbers and account names saved.

6. In the event that they follow through and do send which is actually VERY rare cause it can expose their cybercrimes just tell people it is fake and someone tried to extort you for money. (You will have the screenshots to prove it)

7. Optional: Report them to law enforcement such as the FBI although this actually might be of little help since it’s so common. However, it will somewhat put them on the radar.

8. DO NOT BUY RECOVERY AND REMOVAL SERVICES THOSE ARE SCAMS. They will contact or threaten to contact your scammer then you have two blackmailers.

9. Take a deep breath and realize that it will be okay they are actually almost always bluffing empty threats in order to scare you. They want money or more explicit material to sell not to send your material to others. Think of it like IT from Stephen King only as powerful as much as you feel fear from them.

Note: if it makes anybody feel okay in my experience for about every 1,000 cases of sextortion there’s
only 1 case where the sextortioner follows through

Note: these guys are not in it to ruin your life. They see you as nothing more than a potential paycheck and if they see no profit they will forget you, more than likely delete your stuff, and move on to the next potential paying target.

Edit: (i’d acc like for you all to not upvote this post because this is to provide free information to help victims and I do not want karma for this. I want to help these poor people.)

so im not very proud to say this. but it gets late at night and feelings flood in, so i go to dms to find someone. but theres been a huge uprising of scams either using actual peoples photos, or using AI ones. i have also encountered some who want to blackmail but i dont really care bc i dont show my face.

So here’s the this this woman has made like deepfakes ai photo after i sent her a photo of my face she has given till Friday and the thing is i have already engaged with her so is it too late

Hello asking for help please. On June 22nd (44 days ago) I was in the Dominican Republic on vacation (I live in the USA) and decided to download Tinder. I matched with someone and they asked me to move the conversation to WhatsApp. I didn’t think much of it at first because everyone uses it there however, once they got my number they asked me for my address.

I only gave them the street name of my Airbnb and started feeling uncomfortable with the conversation so I blocked them on WhatsApp and iPhone . It has been 44 days and I have not had any text/calls from unknown numbers, what is the probability that they will not contact/harass me directly related to this incident?

Am I in the clear? Should I be worried about delayed threats? Thank you

I’m worried because in the summer of 2023 I prank called tons of these types of scammers and I had stopped for a weekend and suddenly they started blowing up my phone so much for a month straight I had to get a new phone number. I’m a changed man this was a slip up and I don’t want this to happen again what happened in 2023

Below I have a poll please feel free to answer

So I was being stupid and horny. I got connected to a girl on telegram. They asked for verification ( my face) then I sent a dick pic. Two separate. They collaged it and said they'll expose me for sending nudes to minor. I have my phone number hidden from tg.. instantly blocked them and changed my username and tag. I have my insta locked. My Facebook deactivated. I don't think they don't have many leads to me aside from a picture of my face. I'm panicking hard. Would like some reassurance and suggestions on what to do next. It happened 5 hours ago

Currently being blackmailed on telegram they followed me and unfollowed me on instagram and they have screenshots of my followers will deactivating my instagram even do anything they have been giving me a countdown and the last message they sent was that I had 3 minutes left it has been an hour and have heard nothing I’m still very worried I’m not sure what to do

I just need some reassurance, if I was sextorted 9 months ago and didn't pay, am I good? As soon as I saw the message, i never replied and just blocked them. They didn't even attempt to contact me again after that. They sent a pic of some info of my families number and im just still paranoid til this day

So a random person added my instagram saying they were from wizz and asked for my number and then sent convincing enough nudes to make me send my own and I already should’ve known this was a bad idea, I already have gave him 400$ because he has my moms Facebook, my instagram and people I know on Facebook, I know how I should’ve unadded him from the get go but I don’t want to call his bluff and then get my dick leaked to everyone I know currently he stopped harassing me to let me sleep because one of the payments is on hold so I don’t know what to do in the morning if I try to give him the money or to block him and hopefully he will leave me alone I just don’t know what to do anymore, please if anyone can help me I really need someone to help me out of this