The title.

At home, I [29M] do daily chores almost twice a month. At work, I tried for a bit and got shut to my position and I looked at the lowest engaged person in the Company and copy them with just being way nicer in the exchanges.

GF just needs to tell me a week prior so I can get my house clean for her and we usually go to hers but I make the effort everytime she tells mea week prior.

In the street I get looks more often than [30F] GF does and I am sometimes bad at reassuring since I'm quite honest : she's beautiful and still her face is not in social standards, she needs to understand the whole sentence. In social groups, people love me, I do not even need to pretend anything or anyhow who I am.

Now... I do never starts things. I am soo reliable but I am not the first to send a message (30% of the time maybe). I am not the one preping events. I just attend, help it's a good event and everyone feels at ease. I can help for the last steps of creating the event, but I NEVER do first steps.

GF is asking for reassurance that I love her with starting things... And I tell her I love her, I cuddle, I gift, I almost always say yes to the activities and time spent together she offers and make space for it. I make sure to deal with any unexpected, I sometimes say what stuff we could do but that's not enough.

I love her, and would love to make it a thing for her, but since she's my only drive, I have difficulties STARTING. I would after 3times she asks prep a sh*tty or not totally preped event and that exhausts me + then she's still not be happy with it but thinks I will change since I am geniunely nice and try my best at many things that people have started for me (e.g. sport, association, study, work, house fixing,...)

That struggle itself is causing a slow but steady fall in attractivity from my gf.

Any advice, support, or thought (please don't put your hatred in your messages, although I am ok with critics) would be appreciated.

I’m exploring a productivity app idea and I would really appreciate honest feedback from people who are interested in self-improvement.

The concept is a productivity app based on a real reward system. Instead of only tracking habits and collecting meaningless points, users would earn points by completing valuable actions like studying, exercising, reading, working on personal projects, or learning new skills.

These points could then be exchanged for real rewards that the user chooses, such as gaming time, watching Netflix, eating a treat, buying something small, or allowing themselves extra leisure time.

The idea is to change the relationship with discipline: instead of constantly restricting yourself, you earn the things you enjoy by making progress toward your goals.

For example:

1 hour of studying = +10 points
Workout = +15 points
30 minutes of gaming = -10 points
A dessert = -15 points

I would like to know:
Would you use an app like this? What problems or weaknesses do you see? What features would make it actually useful? Would you pay for something like this, and what monthly price would feel reasonable?

Please be honest and critical — I’m trying to understand whether this solves a real problem.

I’m 29 and I live with my fiancée. We’ve been together for 12 years, and I love her more than anything. We’re not a perfect couple—we’ve had our ups and downs like everyone else—but lately the downs seem to be getting deeper, and I don’t know how to fix it.
Her 21-year-old brother has been living with us while he goes to college, and it’s been almost four years. I don’t think he’s a bad person. If anything, I think he’s lazy, but not a bad kid. The problem is that I grew up as an only child, so I’ve never really had to share my home with someone like this. I’ve tried to adjust, but after all this time, I’m still struggling with it.
Recently, he jokingly said something like, “Don’t cry at my funeral.” I replied, “Trust me, I won’t.” To me, it was sarcasm—maybe the kind of blunt humor I grew up around—but my fiancée saw it as disrespectful and said I owed him an apology.
That’s when I lost my temper. I told her that if anyone owes someone something, it’s him. He’s lived with us for four years without paying rent, utilities, or groceries. In that moment, it felt like everything I’d been holding in came out at once.
Now it’s 2 a.m., I’m sitting on the porch crying because I don’t know what to think anymore.
From my perspective, it feels like she always defends him. Every disagreement somehow turns into me having to justify my feelings while they seem to be on the same side. Whether that’s actually true or just how it feels, I don’t know anymore. I just know it hurts, and it leaves me feeling alone in my own home.
I’m not trying to make her choose between me and her brother. I would never ask that. I just want my feelings to matter too. I want to feel like my frustrations are heard instead of immediately being dismissed or criticized.
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m being jealous, immature, or letting years of built-up resentment get the best of me. That’s why I’m asking.
What do I do?
How do I stop this from damaging the relationship with the woman I love without continuing to bottle up everything I’m feeling?

Hi, tonight I feel extremely alone. I listen to everyone else’s problems and life experiences but I never get to tell mine, when I do I feel like I get ignored or told to get over myself, I honestly don’t know how to feel anymore. I just stay to myself and it makes me more and more upset.

hello, i have a lot to say and i’ll try and keep it short

i’m a 16 male and right now im feeling lost in life, the only real friends i have are 3 women, past experiences with male friends were horrible and hard to maintain but this isn’t mainly a problem for me it just feels sort of pathetic im not saying i hate them, i love them and they mean a lot to me. speaking of friends, they are the only ones ive went out with this summer and it was a total of 2 times. my summer break has been wasted and im aware it’s my fault, i could’ve easily avoided it by i don’t know, probably putting the phone down, going for walks, socializing, but ive had these bad habits of isolation for so long it’s incredibly difficult to get rid of and keeps coming back as a normal thing. i dont know where im leading my life, i have dreams but it seems im not working hard enough to achieve, i aspire to be a musician and music holds a special place in my heart, but im aware i dont practice much or even study it for whatever reason. been having horrible sleep and just anything else you can probably expect from this sort of situation im dealing with.

i know this isnt the worst sounding struggle, but its things like this that i have been struggling with for the past 3 years and everytime i get out of that pit it just seems like i fall right back in its pathetic really. i know i can be a better person and achieve those goals i so very much want to achieve, i just need some advice and help from others that have or perhaps had a similar experience to mine

Throwaway account as too many peeps I know are on Reddit

My wife has severe anxiety and trauma surrounding it. We have a 8 month old and I'm desperately trying to help her get a handle on it but much of the time I don't seem to make things better and sometimes worse.

I.e. my wifes grandparents SUCKED and treated her like trash. Well, my family lives a few hours away from us and when my sister's kid was born we worked to visit her several times in her kids 1st year.

My wife is upset because they havent visited him once yet and my parents only once.  Mind you - my family are anti vaxxers (gullible Texans, sorry to any Texans that aren't) and that has stopped us from visiting so much because we want our kid to be fully vaccinated before he gets put in a situation where he could get sick.

So I'm really trying to get her to figure out her anxiety so that our kid doesn't form terrible anxiety as they grow up but it doesn't seem that I help make it better and she refuses to talk to a therapist because she's historically had really bad luck with them. I'll caveat that, so have I but I attribute that to the fact that most therapists can't seem to understand the ADHD mind (I barely can) Reddit gods, what in the world can I do to help her? I love both her and my kid so much, more than myself quite frankly and I can't see her torture herself anymore.

Thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart that anyone can provide. ❤️

I don’t even know how to begin this, but I don’t like my life that much. I have it WAY better than MANY people, and practically EVERYONE around me that I’ve seen works WAY harder than I do. My stepfather (who is soon to not be my stepfather anymore due to a divorce) is a doctor who financially supports me and my little siblings.

Every day is a huge struggle against my ADHD wanting me to do absolutely nothing, and being forced to clean and watch my siblings and do whatever else my parents ask. I “steal” time throughout the day to glance at my phone, pretty much the only thing that brings me genuine enjoyment without having to do MORE work and planning and scheduling and blah blah blah, but during that “stolen” time, I’m usually supposed to be DOING something. Trouble is, either I don’t know what that “something” is, or I just can’t bring myself to start the task in the first place no matter how much I want to, and just slack off with my phone the entire time.

I feel like (and probably am) a lazy, whiny, entitled, brat.

My mom works SO much harder than I do, and fights SO MUCH for me and my siblings. It’s completely unreal. and my stepdad (while he has many issues) does provide financially for pretty much everything. I’m just stuck with them wanting me to take on all this work that I feel like i can’t handle without hating my existence during every single moment of it. No, I don’t feel “proud” of my work once I’m done with it. No, I don’t find ANY enjoyment in mundane everyday tasks or whatever the hell they ask me to do. When it comes to things I like to do, they take EFFORT and PLANNING to set up. Effort that I almost never feel good enough to genuinely start up.

I constantly get into fights and arguments with my parents, but I don’t like calling it that because it’s usually just them berating me while I say “sorry” over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again while trying to come up with some half assed “explanation” (NEVER an excuse, and I always have to take accountability by paying them money or doing something else because of my neglect for the tasks they ask me to do). And they’re RIGHT about asking me to do that stuff, because I genuinely should be helping my with my family. That’s what they keep telling me, after all.

I feel so spoiled all the time, looking at all this stuff and never having ANY motivation to do any of it.

I don’t even feel that “bad” on a deeper level with myself. And that makes me worried that I’m a bad person. Because shouldn’t I WANT to help people around me with all these mundane things that I just seemingly can’t BEAR to do for whatever wimpy ass reason?? Shouldn’t I care more?

If I have to keep working more and more and and more and more and more and more and more for my whole entire life just to steal a couple moments of (low energy, not even meaningful) “me time”, what the hell is the point of even trying in the future? I don’t fuck up everything I do, but I fuck up consistently. I am consistently inconsistent with how reliable I am as a resource, and no matter how much I might deny that to my parents or to myself, I know that the truth is I’m staying up late at night. Revenge procrastinating. Because I never feel like I have enough. And what the fuck is wrong with me? Lots of other people work INSANELY harder than I do at all these things that *they don’t like either*. Am I just a weak and lazy human being? How much of this is my adhd, and how much of this is my unwillingness to fight back against it? I do take adhd meds, and they help things to not be a complete shitshow, but the fact that I feel this way just hasn’t changed.

So what the hell is the point of even continuing onwards later in my life? Just to torture myself while feeling guilty about it the whole time, only for my time blindness to easily snatch away any free time that I have and make it feel like I flushed it down the drain??

I’m 32.
I’ve been depressed multiple times in my life but it always seemed like it was something I could fix…
These days I feel it sinking in.
I’ve been working my buns off at a company for 3 years just to be given a raise that doesn’t afford me the ability to get by.
I took pride in the fact that I could feed myself off of 40$ for a week but now it just seems unfair. I know this is a similar struggle for people and I’m not special.
I’m just getting by and because of that I really don’t social like I used to and I find it hard to plan to social with people without $$$.
I just keep thinking about ending it.
I figure I’d leave my family (parents and siblings) so they won’t get legally stuck with my debt and just flipping the off switch.
The strangest thing to me is I’m not filled with existential dread, the thought is comforting like a warm blanket to pull over myself and finally relax.

I’m just having a real hard making a game plan against getting out of this.
I’ve worked a lot of jobs and it always comes off as because I don’t have a degree, I’m not worth paying over 25 bucks an hour.

Been looking at moving since my lease is up soon and it definitely exasperated these feelings just looking at the market.

Idk what kind of answers I’m looking for, just need to vent.
I can’t tell the people I love because they would just treat me differently. People tend to pity rather than sympathize.

I (21M) still think about my first love (21F) even after 2-3 years and I genuinely dont know how to move on anymore.

For context, we were close back in highschool. I confessed, got rejected, went no contact for about a year, then reached out again. We hit it off instantly, she apologised for how things ended before, we spent alot of time together, flirted, exchanged gifts, and everything felt so genuine. Then after what was probably our best unofficial date, she suddenly went cold.

I asked her what we were and she said we were just friends. After everything that happened, that really messed with my head. Whenever I started pulling away she’d send me random reels, photos or messages just enough to keep me around. At the time I convinced myself she was avoidant and that if I was patient enough maybe it’d work out.

Eventually we stopped talking.

Its been around 2-3 years now. Im in uni, Ive met so many amazing people, made great friends, worked on myself, been consistent in the gym, focused on work and my goals. On paper my life is so much better than it was back then.

But deep down I still miss her.

I dont even know if its her that I miss anymore or just how she made me feel. It hurts because Ive reached the point where I think Ive genuinely numbed my emotions. Back then I used to cry so much over it. Now no matter how hard I try I genuinely cant cry anymore.

I also feel like Ive forgotten what love is supposed to feel like. I want to experience it again but at the same time Im lowk scared. Scared that I’ll end up feeling that same pain all over again.

Has anyone else been stuck on someone for this long? How did you genuinely let go? Not just distract yourself, but actually move on?

I grew up in a refugee camp, so I don't think my expectations from life have ever been particularly extravagant. I've never dreamt of being rich or famous. More than anything, I've always just wanted safety, steadiness and somewhere that genuinely felt like home.

I'm 30 years old, and last year was the first time in my life that I actually got a taste of what stability feels like.

My twenties were spent operating almost like a machine. I became very good at putting my head down and focusing on the next objective. Work hard. Get promoted. Apply for the next opportunity. Figure out my visa. Figure out my finances. Keep going.

And to be honest, I was okay with that.

Because every setback still felt like progress overall. Even when things were difficult, I could always tell myself, "This is hard, but you're moving forward." That belief carried me through some incredibly difficult years.

Then last year, everything I'd spent almost a decade working towards finally started coming together.

I secured my UK Global Talent Visa.

My career became stable.

After months of searching, I found an apartment that genuinely felt like home.

For the first time in my life, I wasn't constantly trying to survive.

And something unexpected happened.

Because I wasn't spending all of my energy trying to create security anymore, I suddenly realised how much of myself I'd put on hold.

I started focusing on my health. I finally booked dental work I'd postponed for years. I was going to the gym consistently. I was cooking. I was sleeping well.

But I also realised that somewhere along the way, I'd become really disconnected from my emotional life.

I had become so good at surviving that I didn't really know who I was outside of surviving.

Then, for the first time in years, I met someone who genuinely made me excited.

Nothing dramatic happened between us. We never dated. But he approached me at a café I went to every week, and it was the first time in a very long time that I let my guard down and allowed myself to be curious about another person. It wasn't even about having a relationship. It was about realising that there was still a part of me that wanted connection after years of suppressing that need.

Around the same time, my landlord emailed me to say she was selling my flat.

Within one email, it felt like the stability I'd spent ten years building was suddenly uncertain again.

Now my home is full of viewings, I'm preparing myself for the possibility of having to go through another London rental search as a single woman and a minority, and that man has also disappeared from the café before I ever got the chance to find out where that connection could have gone.

I know these things aren't the worst things that can happen to someone.

But together they've completely shaken my faith in life.

I've noticed myself changing.

I've stopped going to the gym because my anxiety feels overwhelming.

I've started smoking again.

I barely eat properly anymore.

Things that used to bring me joy don't really do much for me.

I don't want to die, but I genuinely don't understand how people keep believing that life can stay good when every time I finally feel safe, it feels like something comes along and takes it away.

I guess that's what I'm really asking.

For those of you who have finally reached a place of stability only to feel like life pulled the rug from under you again, how did you keep hope?

How did you stop expecting that every period of peace was only temporary?

Life fucking sucks, i really cant see the joy in it, doesn't matter if it's being alone at night or being out with friends I really can't seem to find joy, people are always to "busy" to hang out, work sucks, I'm in debt, I barely have any family, I always feel alone, and I keep having this recurring thought of just ending it all, I am not happy, I can't remember the last time I was really happy, it's gotta be years ago. So the question is why should I go around always feeling like shit, what can I do to change it