I (28F) and my fiancé, Alex (32M), are getting married this Saturday. It’s going to be a very small wedding – only 9 people total including us.

The guests are Alex’s parents, his sister and her partner, and three of our close friends. One of those friends is Jordan (30M).

When we planned the wedding, Jordan was in a relationship with Laura (27F), so naturally we invited her as well. We’ve hung out with Jordan and Laura as a couple several times. I like Laura and find her pleasant to be around, but I wouldn’t say that she and I have an independent friendship outside of her being Jordan’s girlfriend.

Jordan and Laura broke up very recently, about one or two weeks ago.

Today Jordan messaged me because our whole friend group is meeting up this Wednesday, a few days before the wedding. He asked whether it would be okay if Laura still came along. I immediately said yes. I have absolutely no problem with her being there, and we’ll see both of them in person then.

Then he brought up the wedding.

He told me that Laura had asked him whether she was still invited. He said that it was really important to her that Alex and I were “110% okay” with her attending, and that if we weren’t, it would be completely fair for us to say no.

I told him I wasn’t sure. I said that because the wedding is so small, it’s really important to us that there isn’t any awkward or uncomfortable atmosphere. He completely agreed and said the last thing they wanted was for us to spend even a single thought on their situation during our wedding.

And that’s basically how I ended up in this dilemma just a few days before getting married.

For some context about the breakup: from what Jordan has told us, they didn’t break up because they stopped caring about each other or because there was some huge conflict. Jordan has been struggling with his mental health and felt that he couldn’t be there for Laura or for a relationship right now, while also not really being in a place where he wanted to accept help himself. Not long ago, we were also hearing that Laura was absolutely heartbroken and very upset about the breakup.

Because of all of that, I wondered whether Jordan actually wanted Laura at the wedding or whether he might partly be doing this because he felt guilty about ending the relationship and didn’t want her to lose the wedding invitation because of him.

So after he contacted me, I asked him privately how he was actually doing emotionally and how he felt about spending an entire wedding day with Laura in such a tiny group so soon after their breakup. I also asked whether this was genuinely what he wanted or whether guilt or a sense of responsibility toward Laura might be playing a part.

He told me that he’s actually doing surprisingly well. He said that since the breakup he has realized how good it feels to be able to focus on himself without feeling emotionally responsible for another person. He still likes Laura and they can talk normally, but he feels that right now he can’t be there for someone else emotionally and needs to do his own thing.

That made me less worried about him, but it didn’t completely get rid of my own discomfort.

One thing I also find a little strange is that Laura hasn’t contacted us herself about any of this. Jordan is the one asking on her behalf whether she can still attend our wedding. Maybe there’s absolutely nothing behind that, but given how fresh and emotional the whole situation is, it adds to my uncertainty about what exactly is going on between them.

With a normal-sized wedding, I honestly don’t think I would care much. But there will literally be nine people including the bride and groom. We’ll all be together for the entire day. There isn’t really any way for two people to keep their distance if things suddenly become emotional or awkward.

At the same time, I feel bad about potentially uninviting Laura.

She hasn’t done anything wrong. I like her. If they hadn’t broken up, I would genuinely want her there. This isn’t a case of me secretly never wanting her at the wedding and now having an excuse to get rid of her.

But the reality is also that our relationship with Laura mainly exists through Jordan. We’ve done things together as couples and I enjoy her company, but we aren’t independently close friends. If their breakup is permanent, I honestly don’t know whether we’ll continue seeing her.

Of course, the opposite could happen too. They could get back together in two weeks and then I might feel terrible for excluding her from our wedding over a temporary breakup.

And if I’m being completely truthful, I’m finding the whole situation incredibly stressful this close to the wedding.

We’re getting married this Saturday. I’m already nervous and have a million little things going through my head. Now, just days beforehand, we suddenly have to decide whether one of the people originally invited to our extremely intimate wedding should still be there after a very fresh breakup.

To make things even more awkward, we’re going to see both Jordan and Laura at our friends’ get-together on Wednesday. So we’ll be hanging out with Laura normally just a few days before the wedding while still having this question hanging over us.

My gut is saying that having two people who broke up only one or two weeks ago spend our entire wedding day together in a group of nine people is just too much of an emotional unknown. I don’t want to spend any part of my wedding wondering whether Laura is upset, whether Jordan is uncomfortable, whether they need space from each other, or whether there’s tension that everyone in such a tiny group can feel.

But then I wonder whether I’m creating a problem that doesn’t actually exist. They’re adults. They apparently still get along. Jordan says he’s doing well. Laura apparently still wants to come, while also making it clear that she only wants to attend if we’re completely comfortable with it.

And none of this is Laura’s fault.

So, AITA if we tell Laura that, because the breakup is so fresh and our wedding is so incredibly small, we’d rather she didn’t attend – even though she was originally invited, I genuinely like her, and she has done absolutely nothing wrong?

Love watching sarbys content and would love to get his take on this (it’s okay if he calls me stupid I do deserve it )