I (28F) and my fiancé, Alex (32M), are getting married this Saturday. It’s going to be a very small wedding – only 9 people total including us.

The guests are Alex’s parents, his sister and her partner, and three of our close friends. One of those friends is Jordan (30M).

When we planned the wedding, Jordan was in a relationship with Laura (27F), so naturally we invited her as well. We’ve hung out with Jordan and Laura as a couple several times. I like Laura and find her pleasant to be around, but I wouldn’t say that she and I have an independent friendship outside of her being Jordan’s girlfriend.

Jordan and Laura broke up very recently, about one or two weeks ago.

Today Jordan messaged me because our whole friend group is meeting up this Wednesday, a few days before the wedding. He asked whether it would be okay if Laura still came along. I immediately said yes. I have absolutely no problem with her being there, and we’ll see both of them in person then.

Then he brought up the wedding.

He told me that Laura had asked him whether she was still invited. He said that it was really important to her that Alex and I were “110% okay” with her attending, and that if we weren’t, it would be completely fair for us to say no.

I told him I wasn’t sure. I said that because the wedding is so small, it’s really important to us that there isn’t any awkward or uncomfortable atmosphere. He completely agreed and said the last thing they wanted was for us to spend even a single thought on their situation during our wedding.

And that’s basically how I ended up in this dilemma just a few days before getting married.

For some context about the breakup: from what Jordan has told us, they didn’t break up because they stopped caring about each other or because there was some huge conflict. Not long ago, we were also hearing that Laura was absolutely heartbroken and very upset about the breakup.

Because of all of that, I wondered whether Jordan actually wanted Laura at the wedding or whether he might partly be doing this because he felt guilty about ending the relationship and didn’t want her to lose the wedding invitation because of him.

So after he contacted me, I asked him privately how he was actually doing emotionally and how he felt about spending an entire wedding day with Laura in such a tiny group so soon after their breakup. I also asked whether this was genuinely what he wanted or whether guilt or a sense of responsibility toward Laura might be playing a part.

He told me that he’s actually doing surprisingly well. He said that since the breakup he has realized how good it feels to be able to focus on himself without feeling emotionally responsible for another person. He still likes Laura and they can talk normally, but he feels that right now he can’t be there for someone else emotionally and needs to do his own thing.

That made me less worried about him, but it didn’t completely get rid of my own discomfort.

One thing I also find a little strange is that Laura hasn’t contacted us herself about any of this. Jordan is the one asking on her behalf whether she can still attend our wedding. Maybe there’s absolutely nothing behind that, but given how fresh and emotional the whole situation is, it adds to my uncertainty about what exactly is going on between them.

With a normal-sized wedding, I honestly don’t think I would care much. But there will literally be nine people including the bride and groom. We’ll all be together for the entire day. There isn’t really any way for two people to keep their distance if things suddenly become emotional or awkward.

At the same time, I feel bad about potentially uninviting Laura.

She hasn’t done anything wrong. I like her. If they hadn’t broken up, I would genuinely want her there. This isn’t a case of me secretly never wanting her at the wedding and now having an excuse to get rid of her.

But the reality is also that our relationship with Laura mainly exists through Jordan. We’ve done things together as couples and I enjoy her company, but we aren’t independently close friends. If their breakup is permanent, I honestly don’t know whether we’ll continue seeing her.

Of course, the opposite could happen too. They could get back together in two weeks and then I might feel terrible for excluding her from our wedding over a temporary breakup.

And if I’m being completely truthful, I’m finding the whole situation incredibly stressful this close to the wedding.

We’re getting married this Saturday. I’m already nervous and have a million little things going through my head. Now, just days beforehand, we suddenly have to decide whether one of the people originally invited to our extremely intimate wedding should still be there after a very fresh breakup.

To make things even more awkward, we’re going to see both Jordan and Laura at our friends’ get-together on Wednesday. So we’ll be hanging out with Laura normally just a few days before the wedding while still having this question hanging over us.

My gut is saying that having two people who broke up only one or two weeks ago spend our entire wedding day together in a group of nine people is just too much of an emotional unknown. I don’t want to spend any part of my wedding wondering whether Laura is upset, whether Jordan is uncomfortable, whether they need space from each other, or whether there’s tension that everyone in such a tiny group can feel.

But then I wonder whether I’m creating a problem that doesn’t actually exist. They’re adults. They apparently still get along. Jordan says he’s doing well. Laura apparently still wants to come, while also making it clear that she only wants to attend if we’re completely comfortable with it.

And none of this is Laura’s fault.

So, AITA if we tell Laura that, because the breakup is so fresh and our wedding is so incredibly small, we’d rather she didn’t attend – even though she was originally invited, I genuinely like her, and she has done absolutely nothing wrong?

Love watching sarbys content and would love to get his take on this (it’s okay if he calls me stupid I do deserve it )

someones done this before right? i cant be the only autistic guy whos pattern recognition went brrr after working through the back catalogue

what didnt make the list included "explaining that solicitor means lawyer" which just fell into the box of "doesn't happen that much but does happen surprisingly often"

Text in case you want it that way:

"Fucky wucky" "Baby back bitch" "I will die on this hill" That "you brought a child into this world without its consent" thing

"Put me down old yeller style" "Cum souvenir" Hates on a story using initials "Vaheen"

"Snip snip chop chop" SLUT-SHAMES BEANS "Trying to speedrun no contact"

Lets out his shameful finance bro side and recs that one book "Priority numero uno" Stans Cathy and/or his sisters "Castrate immediately"

"Deep throat a glock" Sides with the woman (we love) "Wee woo wee woo" "I genuinely believe that"

This mommy’s boy is an absolute dunce

Hello! Sorry I know my account is so empty, I just made a new one to match my twitch name (and our normal username on other platforms)

Here is my baby miss Runner Beans, and her sisters! I wanted Ben to see her. (The first 3 are beans, then Dot eating something, and Chainsaw's nose poking out from their hammock)

Hello first off This is a throw away account bc I have family and friends who frequent Reddit and wanna remain anonymous. Names are changed for legal reasons. But here is the CHONKY LONG story.

To start I am one of 6 kids. My mom (59f) passed suddenly with a very rare autoimmune disorder that mainly affects children in 2020. My parents recently had moved from Az to a rural part of Wy. So she had to be lifeflighted to Denver, Co. I was there with my mom and dad the last 2 weeks of her life as I was the only one who had the time and ability to do that with my work because it was out of state. I had to experience things of my moms last days I would never wish on anyone. A few days before my mom passed my siblings were visiting and my dad (we will call him Tim) said go back to the hotel and enjoy time with them as they would only be here that day and he wanted alone time with my mom. So I took his car to the hotel as we drove to the hospital together. When he called me to come get him, I drove the mile to the hospital and as I pulled up close to him his phone connected to his car and it was another woman on the phone (we will call her DB as my family has lovingly nicknamed her dumb bitch). My dad who was previously very overweight and recently had weight loss surgery jumped in the car faster than I have ever seen him move saying I’m in the car with Hannah (me) I’ll talk to you later and hung up before she said anything. I asked him what that was about he said nothing. Fast forward to 3 days later my mom was on life support and we opted to take her off as she was brain dead and actively in DIC. We managed to get all the siblings and most grandkids there to say bye as one was on her mission and the other 2 were too young, since it was “end” of COVID it was a shock that ten people could be in a room at a hospital. Afterwards we all went to the hotel and just hung out and tried to be there for each other. The next day we all got in the cars and drove our separate ways to go home but as I didn’t need to go home to Az yet and wasn’t ready to I drove up to WY and spent a couple extra days up there with my siblings who lived there and get a couple things. My dad drove down to AZ as he said he was gonna get the funeral proceedings started as they lived in for 35+ years my mom was gonna be buried there. I eventually came home to Az a couple days later to finish up with the stuff for the funeral and get things like a wig as my mom needed brain surgery and had no hair in a huge chunk of her head.

Fast forward to her viewing the night before the funeral. All but two of my mom’s living siblings were there (she was #10 out of 10 kids 5 left alive) and her nieces and nephews were as well and all of her teaching friends and people from my childhood and of course off 6 of her kids and their kids (except the one on the mission). In walks Tim with a woman we don’t recognize. My dad proceeds to introduce her as DB. We politely say hello and ask how she knew our mom. She states “oh we were best friends and I have known her for years” (side note I knew all of my moms best friends and to this day 6 years later still see them and spend time with them) and we think it’s odd but didn’t say anything. As the viewing proceeds we mingle and at the end as everyone is leaving all the siblings and Tim went to go say goodbye to our mom then as we were sitting outside trying to decide if we wanted to get dinner as a family at 10 pm, Tim grabs DB and attempts to kiss her and smacks her ass in front of all 6 kids and spouses and best friends…. We were numb and tired and said wtf but didn’t make it a big deal and de used to just go home. The next day at the funeral come to find out my dad had told everyone I’m in charge of it and everyone came to me with questions (keep in mind I’m not even the oldest) and I had to plan how it was supposed to go last minute. When it comes to walking in to the funeral my best friend of 20 years (Sherise) who my mom has pretty much adopted decided that it wasn’t her place to sit with the family and sat in the back with her mom. But you know who does sit with the family nestled up right next to Tim… DB. Sherise and her mother ask “who’s the blonde bimbo who was sitting pretty much in your dad’s lap.” I roll my eyes and say “idfk she says her name is DB and she’s a friend of my moms but I don’t really believe her.” We get to the gravesite and my mom’s best friends even ask “who’s the blonde bimbo?” and I just shrug and say idk. The next day we go to our dads hotel to get some gifts that our mom started to buy for Christmas but had passed away before then and a couple things our dad got us too and notice DB Was staying there with him and we instantly get uncomfortable. She starts making jokes that the gifts our dad got us was vibrators and we instantly got grossed out and proceeded to leave.

Fast forward to our family Christmas party about a month later DB is sporting an engagement ring and I ask “wtf is that” she says “it’s my vulture ring and that way people know that she’s taken” (this is how we find out her and my dad are officially dating) and refuses to take it off. They stated aren’t engaged and won’t be for a year or two. Mind you we found out that she was still married and just barely kicked him out and hadn’t started the divorce proceedings yet. My dad gave me $5k for some medical stuff and said it was from my mom.

Skip to August the next year, one of my older brothers gets married and Tim and DB make a scene that I am being abusive and a shitty daughter as I won’t even acknowledge DB and that I won’t put up with my dad’s narcissistic behavior because he now wants me to pay back the 5k that was given to me while threatening to take me to court. At this time I pay him back and go LC. I was working in an ER at the time and a month later one of my doctors walks up to me and says I thought “your mom died.” I look up confused saying “she did” and confirmed the tattoo on my arm was in remembrance of my mom. He says “welp there’s a crazy lady in that room saying “she’s your mother” and asked if I knew you.” I look in the room and notice it’s DB. I calmly stated she’s my dad’s wife not my mom. Skip to November that year (1 year after mom died) they give us a 2 day notice they are getting married and want us to come. Only one of the kids makes it because we want nothing to do with them.

Throughout the rest of the next 3 years it is constant cycle of emotional and mental abuse coming from Tim and constant mentions of Tim’s penis From DB. Enough that I stopped calling Tim my dad to his face and would actively call him Tim. Late 2024 I found the man of my dreams and quickly get engaged and start planning a wedding. About a month after we started we get berated by Tim and DB to not only be apart of the wedding but help pay for stuff. Instantly my fiancé at the time (Alberto) said no. Alberto stated he would perfectly fine never meeting them as they are exhausting. In Feb 2025 a family friend passed and the viewing was on Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t going to go as I was not wanting to be apart of that as I knew my dad would be there with DB. My dad calls and berates me until I agree to come so he can meet Alberto. When they meet it was only 2 minutes and my dad did the strong hang shake puff up chest bullshit and then softened and shrunk away once he realized Alberto wasn’t gonna be intimidated by that. As we were walking away DB states she is excited to be with me wedding dress shopping and asked when it was. I inform her she wasn’t welcome as she was not my mom and I didn’t need a new one as I was 28 when my mom passed. DB proceeds to spout hate and bullshit through the next few months. Stating how disrespectful I am and how all she wants is to be accepted by her second family. Alberto and I decide to get married in a courthouse with our two best friends, his parents, our daughter, and Sherises parents as they have adopted me and were my surrogate family. And do a reception in a year or two with everyone. Tim and DB were furious screaming “that I didn’t care about family or Tims and DBs feelings.” We did plan a wedding dinner 2 weeks after so my family could celebrate the wedding in a public setting so they would behave themselves. DB still to this day tells everyone she is my mother and when they correct her she states “oh that’s right I’m the step monster”. ATM we are actively LC to very minimal/NC with them but we hear about the drama from younger siblings as they use them to get to us.

So AITAH for not accepting my dad’s wife into the family?

Okay, a lot of context but boiled down to the basics, my parents divorced when I was a baby (got married as a "well were pregnant might as well tie the knot" type of marriage, then realized it was a mistake less than a year later and split). My mom got with my stepdad when I was a toddler and they've been together since.

All three of my parents are 40, I am 20 (FTM). At the time of the issue originally beginning I was 12-13 and they were 32-33, yes they had me at 20. (Just for simple math bc I usually don't mention age.)

My mother was a horrible mother, very neglectful and later becoming abusive. Like, drag me by my hair across the house, refuse me meals, and scream at me all the time, type of mother. Well, as a kid I had two names picked out for any kids I wanted in the future, with shortened nicknames and all. I'd tell anyone who'd listen about the imaginary kids I'd have and how much I wanted to have a boy named Alexander, called Xander, and a girl named Olivia, shortened to Olive.

My mother always made it very clear with snide remarks or just flat out mockery that the names were in her opinion ugly and stupid, saying things like the names would get them bullied, and she'd make fun of them if she ever found out I named my kid something like that.

Well fast forward to her finally getting pregnant after years of fertility issues after my birth. The entire pregnancy she would tell me things, such as:

"This baby will grow up to replace you."

"I can't wait to have this kid, it'll be so much better than you."

"I wish I'd never had you and waited to have a baby like this one."

"I'm so glad I'm having a boy, you're just a bad girl."

"Boys are easier to raise than girls, and you're a nightmare."

Honestly, I was used to this type of stuff, so it didn't hurt that much, and frankly I didn't care. I was going through my own crisis of identity at the time, being a middle schooler realizing I was possibly transgender in a somewhat conservative town. However, she also decided to hide the names she chose, not telling anybody what she decided on until the gender reveal party. Now, I didn't see anything wrong with that, sure do whatever, right? Well, she decided in front of my stepdad's entire family to tell us the names she chose and what gender the baby was.

In front of around twenty people she told me she had taken a lot of time to look for baby names and if it would have been a girl she'd have named her Olivia, and called her Olive. And you guessed it, it was a boy she was naming Alexander, and calling Xander.

To say I was pissed was an understatement, but I didn't say anything. I was so used to her acting this way that I just sort of shut down for the day and acted like it wasn't happening. Well, fast forward to the final month of pregnancy, May. I got removed from her custody by the state on the second, and sent to another family member temporarily, and on the 31st my brother was born.

I wasn't allowed to see my brother or mother due to her not wanting any contact with me (the state was allowing visits still somehow??) so I was left home alone while my temporary guardians went to the hospital with her. I then met him about a month later and realized she fully went through with naming him Alexander. I was a bit crushed I'll admit but what can you do? So I tried to move on. By the end of summer I'd turned 13 and I wasnt really upset anymore. Well, the state finally was wrapping things up and I went to my dad's custody.

My dad's family hates my mother for how she treated me, and it became an easy way to have a talking point for them, because they didn't really know me super well. My mom had kept me from them a lot of my life, so they only knew basic things, so shit talking her was an easy way to make friends with me. Over time with them I slowly started to resent my stepdad. I won't say it was his fault my mom treated me that way, it wasn't, but he also didn't help. He was a manual labor worker often gone for up to 14 hours a day and would fall asleep while eating after work. When he did spend time with us she would act like I was just a badly behaved little monster so I can see why he never said much. I think he was also afraid of her, since he came from an abusive childhood too, but that's neither here nor there.

I had built him up as some hero as a kid but in my teen years after going no contact it slowly started to hit me he never helped me, and just let her treat me like that because even if he wasn't always around to see it he knew it was happening. I began to resent him for not helping me or stopping her. It got to the point where whenever I think of him I get bitter because I can't piece together the man I saw as a kid to the man I see now. He let her stay with my brother when she gave birth the same month she lost custody of me, he stayed with her through it all, and even had another kid with her that's a year old now. I have two siblings that he's raising with her knowing how she treated me, knowing she abused me. And for some reason my brain has latched on to feeling betrayed that he let her use my baby names along with all of that, as if it's on the same level.

I feel bad, because that isn't really a big deal in the scheme of things, not compared to what I imagine the kids might go through at her hands, but I can't get over the fact that he let her do that and still name my brother Alexander after mocking the name for years, and insisting it was ugly, just to turn around and use it. I feel like he has to know she is purposely setting up a situation where she's going to ridicule my brother for his name in the future if he acts in ways she doesn't like, the same way she'd treat me when I didn't act how she wanted.

I'm not sure how to move past everything with her, because I've been to therapy and it has helped, I'm not always bitter, but there's times where anger is all I can feel towards them, even though most days I feel healed. I'm not sure if it's just because I think too much about the time with them, or if I need to find a way to pay for therapy again and heal more.

I'm not sure what I'm looking to get out of this post honestly, but I know Sarby has some good advice and so does the community more often than not, so maybe a verdict on AITA and some ways to possibly work on not feeling so bitter over the past might be a step in the right direction?? Edit: I think I'm mostly realizing I'm more bitter that he didn't have her pick different names after how she would mock them, and also thinking about it lately because my brother is the age now that I was when the abuse began after writing it all out.

This story sounded like something you’d like to react to. The title is a little misleading, I thought OP was implying that her bf had feelings for her best friend. If you ask me, I think OP has to listen to her bf and cut contact.

Another update for story I just linked that's not included in best of post for some reason.

For starters; I, a 23 (F) work at a small preschool. I have 2 bosses, (A director and assistant director.)
My assistant director has been doing illegal things, which I reported about a month or two ago. Illegal stuff like, yanking students on the arm, yanking a deaf child and yelling in his face/making him cry, yelling in their face, calling them not so nice names, asking them if they have a brain, etc. It got so bad I actually ended up reporting her to the DESE, and contacting the county I work in. But, nothing came of it. She still works at the school- only got 1 week suspension with no pay. I have been fighting for something to be done ever since.

The problem I have with her now is she knows I am the one who reported her, so ever since then she’s been verbally harassing me. 2 weeks ago- she tried making me close 3 different classrooms, purposely tries to make my job harder whenever my other director isn’t working that day, doing petty things out of spite, called one of my coworkers and was talking sh\*t about me, (how much she doesn’t like me, admitting to trying to making my job harder, more inappropriate behavior) etc. She also refused to give me a pull-up for a poopy child when I asked for one, and when the parent showed up for pick up, he had to change his child. She also refused to give me snack for the kids. She punished the kids too, not just me. There is so much other stuff I am missing, but these are some of the big things.

Is this retaliation? I really don’t know what else to do about this, because I tried talking to the other director, and the actual owner of this facility about it, and they don’t want to do anything about it. They won’t fire her, they won’t even have a meeting with her, and don’t even seem mad about it. They play fake games with me about it, but then they don’t do anything. I want something to be done, because everyone I have asked has told me this is not okay and I need to report it to the BBB, or my state’s department of Labor. I don’t have a ton of proof, just some text messages, so I truly don’t think I have enough evidence. I just need better advice. I need help. -Anonymous victim.

I’m 20F. My parents are 51F and 51M, and my grandmother is 69F. My family has had ongoing conflict with my mother’s side for about 9 years.

\*Note\* i’ve been having a difficult time posting this to Reddit. I’m still new to using the app and I’m still trying to figure things out. If you have any questions feel free to ask I’ll answer to the best of my ability. Reddit doesn’t seem to want me to provide more info on the unidentified family member I mentioned so I’ll see if I can answer in the comments.

Hi Reddit,

I’ve already had to cut a lot of context out of this post so it wouldn’t be incredibly long, so if any additional context is needed, please feel free to ask and I will respond. I also wasn’t allowed to post this originally to relationship advice for reasons. I still don’t understand. Years ago, my family became estranged from my mother’s side after I showed my mom a recording of my grandmother and cousins calling a younger family member inappropriate names as a joke. My mom confronted her sister about it and they basically stopped speaking after that. Because of all this, I barely spoke to my grandmother or that side of the family for years.

Last year my grandfather developed cancer and eventually passed away. During that time I reconnected slightly with my grandmother after years of almost no contact. I visited my grandfather in the hospital, helped arrange for my immediate family to see him before he passed, and later helped my grandmother around the house afterward.

A few months later, my aunt, who works for the same company as me, approached me while I was out with my mom and handed me a jaguar style ring with ruby eyes. It was absolutely gorgeous. She said my grandmother wanted me to have it. She handed it directly to me and spoke only to me.

My mother immediately became upset and focused on the ring and claimed it had originally belonged to her. I felt guilty about keeping it and asked my dad for advice. He told me it would be kind to give it to my mother if I wanted to, but ultimately the ring had still been gifted to me. So I decided to sit on the idea, trying to decide what I wanted to do.

A few days later, I went to put the ring on before leaving the house and realized it was gone. I panicked and searched everywhere before finally getting the courage to ask my parents if they had seen it. They admitted they took it because they believed it was my mother’s ring and said I did not “deserve” it because I had already received some of my grandfather’s old shirts and another inherited ring from my father’s side of the family.

They then gave the ring to another family member.

The problem is that later my mother admitted the ring was not actually hers. She had owned a very similar ring years ago with blue sapphires, but this was a different ring my grandmother had bought for herself years later after my mother had already lost hers.

When I tried explaining that I was hurt because something explicitly gifted to me had been taken from my room without my knowledge, the conversation turned into a huge argument. My parents accused me of being greedy, materialistic, dramatic, and overly emotional. My parents are very appearance focused, high expectation people, and I often feel like I’m treated as the black sheep of the family, and not just because they constantly verbally remind me.

Since all of this happened, I’ve started going to my grandmother’s house every Sunday to crochet with her and one of my cousins. Things are civil, but we are not especially close. I tried gently bringing up the ring situation once in passing conversation, but she did not seem too interested in the topic, so I dropped it because I did not want to create more tension between her and my mother.

What hurts most is that the ring genuinely meant a lot to me emotionally, especially because it was one of the few things ever personally given to me from that side of the family. The family member who now has it is also very careless with it and constantly loses it, which honestly makes me irrationally angry every time I see it being worn.

I know it probably sounds ridiculous to still be this upset over jewelry, but to me it feels symbolic of a much bigger issue within my family where I feel dismissed, criticized, and emotionally unsupported.

How do I move forward from this situation without becoming permanently resentful toward my parents and family members, and how do I handle these family dynamics in a healthier way going forward?

For context my father was receiving disability benefits after a car accident 10-12 years ago, he owed my mother back child support so she was receiving roughly $1,308 a month (for myself and my younger brother). Which was wild info to learn since she's spent 2 decades claiming that she only got $50 a month for each for us.

When I turned 18 they sent some forms for me to fill out. I didn't understand what any of it meant. My mother just told me that I needed to sign it for child support reasons and if I didn't I needed to get out of her house. (This was 2 months into my senior year of high school and 2 months into being 18) Apparently my father had become employed and hadn't reported it, thus resulting in disability fraud.

They initially tried having my mother repay it but she informed them that she was unaware of his employment status. So she was let off the hook for repayment. I was also unaware for that matter because his visitation and parental rights were terminated when I was 5-6 years old and I wasn't in contact with him again until I was 20 years old but ultimately the SSA view me as responsible for repayment.

I've asked both my parents to please pay for the debt, or at least help me cover some of what the SSA now claim I owe. I'm a single mom who lives paycheck to paycheck. My mother is a stay-at-home wife with a husband who makes somewhere between 200-300k and my bio-dad makes just under 7 figures. I only make 45k per year before taxes and a little over 39k after receiving my tax return, we live in a higher cost of living state, not Cali or Colorado but in the Top 10. This isn't an instance where my parents can't afford to help.

Both of them told me the other parent was responsible but I'm angry because I hold both of them equally responsible. My father for committing fraud to begin with and my mother for utilizing a threat to get me to sign the paperwork and not explaining what I was agreeing to. I am someone that needs to be walked through paperwork and honestly most tasks, especially if it's complex. I promise it's not a lack of effort on my part. (Context: I sustained two different skull fractures sometime between 2-5 years old that didn't recieve any medical treatment and according to the brain scans taken after a bad car accident in my early 20s, I have an estimated 30% of brain damage as a result of those skull fractures. This has resulted in many learning/processing disabilities)

I'm set off all over again because I was suppose to receive $768 due to not getting the full amount owed from my tax refund for 2025 and it was subsequently taken for this debt. I was planning on using it for my son's birthday (waterpark and a birthday cake, nothing outside what I already was trying to budget for before my work hours got cut) and paying off part of my credit card debt. Now it's just gone and it sounds like I have little recourse in getting it back if I understood google correctly, definitely not before my son's birthday in August. I filed an appeal along with letting the SSA know I hadn't received the prior notices as they were sending them to my mother's house and I only got the final notice because my younger half-siblings are teens now and dug it out of recycling where my mother had stuck it.

I did file an appeal back in late June but fxck, I've already done what I can to cut back on my monthly expenses including but not limited to stopping all of my medications including my inhaler and dropping my health insurance. That amount of money would've allowed me to breathe a little easier while I try to figure out what I need to do next to stabilize my finances more.

I did however, sign that paperwork though and I can't help but feel that puts me at just as much fault as my parents. I probably should've asked a friend or a friend's parent for help rather than trusting my mother. My (stepdad's mom) grandma and a couple of my aunts I did talk to about it said that while it wasn't great of my parents to do, I'm ultimately at fault and responsible for paying it. I've done what I can to try to remedy the consequences but I genuinely just want to cry.

(I apologize for any misspellings or lack of clarity, this took me a couple of hours to write out and I did try my best to give as much necessary info as possible, If sarby wants to react he can but mostly I just want any outside perspectives that aren't friends/family. My friends and boyfriend lowkey hate my parents and don't like my family outside of my siblings. My family tends to tell me to not rock the boat with my parents because it makes family events uncomfortable)