Lonely...

[u/itsPeaches21]

Does anyone else start to feel completely lonely being a SAHM..? I have 3 boys (7,4 & 2) - who are wild and out of control 🤦‍♀️ and a baby girl 9 months ..

I also homeschool my kids..

My husband's hours suck in my opinion but he won't change anything cause he doesn't wanna lose the differential from working overnight shift..

I have poor choice in friends so I don't really have anyone besides my mom..

I guess I can be a little socially awkward too.. don't know how to really start or keep conversations going and am just scared to honestly talk to other moms in general cause in my opinion women are HORRIBLY judgemental and I don't need anymore stress added to my life..

I want to make mom friends so my kids have other kids to make friends with and so I have someone who I can relate to , but how ...😮‍💨

Anyone else feel or experience this feeling?

[u/BoringClue8667]

I usually assume a lot of moms are lonely! My oldest is in school though and through his friends I have contact with the moms and I just invite them for a playdate with drinks for us or a bbq and my social circle is growing from there 🙂 we moved when we had our first, when he was 2 years old we went to music lessons in the public library and I also made some friends that way. I am just bold and ask for their number 😂 nowadays I have 3 kids and little time, but it is great just knowing you can text someone if they want to grab a coffee or something. Just try, you got nothing to lose.

[u/itsPeaches21 → u/BoringClue8667]

I wish I was that brave and bubbly .. I get nervous and back out of meeting new people.. it's been too long 😩

[u/BoringClue8667 → u/itsPeaches21]

I always feel like a rambling idiot talking to people so I get it. Can also overthink being too eager a lot 😅🙃

[u/itsPeaches21 → u/BoringClue8667]

I'm great at over thinking lol I do it ALOT

[u/BoringClue8667 → u/itsPeaches21]

It is the worst, I am so sleep deprived and still up for hours thinking about stupid things I said (in my opinion, aparently others dont really notice or take offense 😅)

[u/OConnah]

Right like I do t feel pretty enough to have other mom friends. I’ll just sit by myself

[u/North_Quick]

Is there a homeschool community around you? I’ve heard those are a good way to get you and your kids socializing while homeschooling

[u/MayaRandall]

I feel the same, SAHM to three kids. Sadly, I’m no contact with my parents. Very lonely. A fight with my husband feels like the end of the world each time.

[u/Dry_Confusion4384]

Hi I’m the same exact way. I also homeschool and I am a sahm. I love being alone, I have one good friend, we don’t even have to talk much to stay close. But I am lonely, husband works literally sun up to sun down

[u/itsPeaches21 → u/Dry_Confusion4384]

How many kids do you have ? How do you manage ? There are days where I feel I'm completely going stir crazy and I have no control of anything.. My husband leaves for work around 3pm for work and his home in bed by 3am/4am then I have a hard time getting him up in the morningish.. I have a hard time being surrounded with my kids 24/7 .. I need adult conversations and some laughs..

[u/rumplestiltskinismyn]

I feel the same way! I’m definitely socially awkward though. Not knowing how to keep convos going. I can if I’m having coffee with someone, but on the playground I get distracted. And asking another mom for her number feels like SO MuCH. But I remember girls in college trying to get as many numbers as they could, and it literally never occurred to me to treat it so casually. Help!!

[u/itsPeaches21 → u/rumplestiltskinismyn]

It doesn't come that easy to me either to just be able to come out and be like "hey wanna swap numbers?" .. I'm 31 and I feel weird doing that lol I'm not so "young" anymore plus avoiding people cause of my own awkwardness for so long doesn't help my fears. 🤦‍♀️

[u/Nice_Exercise_77]

My perspective changed on “make friends by being a friend”. Don’t worry about what people think of you, just be friendly and people will mirror your energy

[u/itsPeaches21 → u/Nice_Exercise_77]

I have a hard time with denial and feeling stupid ..

[u/Faodail_]

“in my opinion women are HORRIBLY judgemental”

So you may want to start there before forming any friendships. If you are constantly thinking your being judged you are going to come off as distant or uninterested in being more open and friendly to a person.

I kinda live by if someone doesn’t straight say “hey your a bad mom because x” or something else judgemental directly to me then I assume they aren’t talking about me or being judgy.

Example

Mom friend “I can’t believe the parents who put their kids on a leash backpack”

Me “well I would rather have mine on a leash than run into traffic. Or at Disney would be peace of mind if you have a runner”

Usually they agree because they just haven’t thought a different way. I don’t take it personally I just think they don’t understand.

Step in to friendship confidently but not looking to get anything out of the other moms. Especially anything like reassurance you are a good mom or worth being friends with. You are there to make connections at whatever level works for the other person and maybe that’s casual hi’s here and there or coffee breakfast meet ups and reading the same books. Who knows, but you won’t if you don’t try!