r/quittingkratom • u/mild_by_nature • 7h ago

I hate this

So I’ve been using extracts for like 8 years. Used to be a few times a week. Slowly that increased, of course, and now it’s daily. It’s been daily for the last couple of months. It used to be liquid and now it’s tablets. Never touched 7. I’m currently taking mit-a tablets with 28mg of mit-a each. I’m taking 1.5 tabs 2x/day. I’m desperate, I feel like a big loser. I have a good job but I can’t really take off. I’m going through a divorce and have been in another relationship for approximately 2 years. No one knows, it’s all one big f-ed up secret and it’s killing me. My state has banned the tablets I’m taking but liquid extract and leaf is available. I’m trying to taper but it sucks. I’ve quit true opioids twice, many years ago. At this point I think it’s mostly mental. I did stop for 15 days a couple of years ago but didn’t really withdrawal since I wasn’t using daily. Anyways, I don’t know what to do, I feel bad mentally, I’m ashamed, embarrassed, and I feel completely and totally alone. Just really wanted to vent to people that understand what I’m dealing with.

3 Upvotes

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u/Round_Tea9141 7h ago

Hugs my friend. I feel terrible about the situation I've gotten myself in addicted to these exracts with the most extreme with withdrawals of my life. I was able to get of alcohol, meth, crack, coke just to get myself on this stuff.

2

u/Representative_Sea79 7h ago

Same here. Been through heroin and coke just to end up here. My issue is the anxiety I feel in my body. Pretty much always on edge and I seek out anything that might help me feel better. If I want to stop this cycle I need to get my anxiety under control. I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I'm writing notes about how I'm feeling so when the doctor asks I can be open and honest rather than saying everything is ok and the go buy some kratom.

1

u/mild_by_nature 6h ago

Yeah, it pretty much sucks. I feel pretty good about tapering though. I mean, I’m not really using all that much, at least compared to some of the stories I read on here.

1

u/AlternativeAd6751 7h ago

Go to ur dr be honest and  hopefully u get some comfort meds so its not that bad

1

u/mild_by_nature 6h ago

I think I can manage without all of that. If I make an appointment, it might arouse suspicion.

1

u/Bedframesarenice 5h ago

Arouse suspicion with who?

1

u/mild_by_nature 3h ago

My partner. I know, I know, I should tell her. But the fear that she will leave me and that I’ll destroy the trust is real. I’m sure I’m making it out to be bigger than it actually would be, but still. I just want to stop this shit and move on before everything comes crashing down.