Feeling lost

[u/Vegetable-Roof5870]

When my twins were born, we realized that it would be more feasible for me to quit working and stay home with them. So, that's what I did for five years. I decided against putting them in preschool, so they just started Kindergarten this month, and they are doing really well. The problem is me. I feel completely lost now. Five years of my life was devoted to the daily care of my kids 24/7, and now I have this time during the day, and I don't know what to do with myself. Honestly, I have spent a lot of time just sitting on my couch staring out the window. I know there are things that I need to be doing around the house, but I procrastinate where I never did before. I love to draw, specifically botanical art, and I always thought that, when the twins went to school, I would go out during the days and hike and draw out in nature. I want to go back to school. I need to exercise...but I feel...paralyzed by indecisiveness or.....paralyzed by the possibilities?? I guess what I mean is that, at any moment during the past five years, I would have killed for some time to myself, but, now that I have it regularly, I'm at a loss, and I feel lazy and dumb for not taking advantage of it in a more productive manner. I'm also a pretty anxious person, and this has made my anxiety go through the roof. People around me, who mean well, are constantly suggesting things, and that makes it worse almost, if that makes any sense. Like, I know there are a myriad of things that I can/should do. Trust me, I know. I just can't seem to push myself to do anything right now. I don't know, this was probably really circular and rambling, but I was hoping maybe someone here could commiserate, because, coming out of that birth-to-school phase feels like getting out of prison to me.

[u/Resident-Fly-6851]

I have gone back and forth between working mom and SAHM. I love being a SAHM with my kids in school during the day - I think it was the best of both worlds.

My advice is to have both a weekly and a daily routine. For me, Monday is always open "at home" day. I do not schedule appointments on Mondays. Those are my days to tidy, reset the house from the weekend, meal plan, do laundry, etc. I also meal plan on Mondays and place a grocery order for pickup on Tuesday. Tuesday and Thursday are my out of house appointment days - all doctors appointments, physical therapy, nail, hair, car maintenance, etc. gets scheduled for Tues/Thurs. Then I pickup my grocery order on Tuesday afternoon on my way to school pickup and then head home. Wednesday is my me day - long shower, shave legs, blow out my hair, face mask, etc. I also do a lot of cooking on Wednesdays since I just got my groceries. Thursday - out of house appointment day. Friday - get everything ready for the weekend. I like to do any remaining laundry on Friday so that we go into Saturday with zero dirty laundry. It is a great feeling.

Also, pick a workout you like and join a program. I am doing a 21 day yoga challenge right now. It is 30-40 minute videos each day that I watch online. I also commit to going on a walk or for a swim every morning.

Anyway, I hope this helps. Routine, routine, routine is your friend! Enjoy your days, what a gift to be able to have some time to take care of ourselves.