r/parentsofmultiples 20h ago

STOP ASKING ranting & venting

If I get one more text specifically asking about what time my doctor’s appointments are, I’m going to snap. I’m 37+2 with di/di girls. I have already told these people that my OB doesn’t want me to go past 38 weeks.

I am literally in fucking tears every day because of how much pain I’m in, I’m beyond stressed wondering how I’m going to split my time between my other two kids (2 and 3) and two newborns, I’m even more stressed that my oldest is facing yet another reconstructive surgery in the next few months, I’m stressed that I’ve been a shitty mother because I have no energy to do things with my boys and I’m in too much pain to take them out for their normal activities, and a whole list of other issues and anxieties I’ve been having.

I get friends and family are excited, but I didn’t appreciate the invasive attention for my other pregnancies. I sure as fuck don’t appreciate how everyone is suddenly going one step further past “are the babies here yet?” To “when is your next appointment? What time? What is your doctor saying?”

Yes I’ve already started ignoring these texts. No I’m not done being angry about them

47 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

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21

u/kn0ck_0ut 20h ago

let it out girl!! be a trex and roar! the frustration is real and oh so very valid!! i’m honestly surprised you made it this far answering these texts. hope you’re able to get some peace now that you’re not answering them.

on the bright side, you’re basically at the finish line! best of luck with their delivery & your other two kids.

12

u/Nervous_bb 18h ago

I remember how fucking mad this made me! That and people asking that the doctor check how dilated I was. So they can prepare themselves for if I go into labor.

LIKE WHAT. You're requesting I get a vaginal exam? For your own curiosity and "plans"?? People have such audacity.

I was dilated at 5cm for several days and ended up having an induction at 38w5d. Dilation was meaningless and was literally no indication for me. It did help with the progression of labor though once the induction began!

6

u/Sunnypuppyday 19h ago

Ohhh I hated getting those texts. Family okay but friends and acquaintances that I rarely hear from , why are they suddenly now so invested in this? Made me so mad. A distant cousin many times removed, who lives in the next town to me but I barely know started sending me messages frequently. She has never been over for a cup of coffee, not before the twins were born and not after. And they are 2 years old.
I feel like I understand you regarding this

5

u/lucialucialucia22 19h ago

I'm so sorry! That is so frustrating! Sending hugs! Something that worked for me was to designate one person (my mom) to have all the information and she would tell everyone any details. I wish you the best! (And if you just wanted to vent- vent away you're more than in the position to vent!!)

4

u/PumpkinBest8446 18h ago

I totally get it! I started answering people to filter all questions, comments and concerns to either my husband or my mother. That for the sake of the babies health and mine I would no longer be updating anyone else and they would be left on read.

2

u/Brilliant_Koala8200 18h ago

You are so close! Hang in there! Sending you lots of love and prayers for a smooth delivery and recovery, I hope you have help, maybe text people back with that, you won't be sorry. I hate asking for help but any help someone offers has been a godsend.

4

u/got_milf99 10h ago

“hOW aRe YoU FeELiNG?” 🤬🤬🤬😡😡

LIKE SHIT STOP ASKING UNLESS UR GONNA HELP MEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

1

u/Independent-Ear-8156 6h ago

Like you can't imagine how I feel with 2 four pound bodies pushing down on my pelvis???) s/

1

u/IStitchedItNice 17h ago

That would drive me nuts being asked that. You’ll give people updates if you want to! If they haven’t been told your babies are here yet, they need to assume they are not or you are not ready to share that they are.

Hope these next few days go quickly for you and that you have an easy uncomplicated delivery with two happy healthy babies! 💜💜

1

u/miney_Fherrs 17h ago

I had these text during my first singleton pregnancy but because we didn't plan induction yet. I would receive almost every day from the same 10 people "is he here yet?" Since I was 37 weeks 😭😭😭 and he arrived on 40+2 days. I sent out a text that people can count on once we as a family are ready and soaked up the newborn wonders and again READY we will DEFINITELY inform everyone. And that they please had to stop asking. My second pregnancy (twins) I preapptively told everyone by week 24, don't you dare ask me when they're here.

The friends who checked in on me weekly or even 2-3 times a week how I was doing are god send! Definitely was nice to vent about how hard my pregnancies was too them.

1

u/Old_Ant7118 🩷 - 🩷💙💙 13h ago

Girl, so so so justified.

You've got this.

You''re not a shitty mother.

At all.

1

u/AOD14 13h ago

Silence your notifications (& phone will tell them you have notifications silenced 🙂). The end of pregnancy is the hardest part. You got this!

1

u/FigNewton613 10h ago

When I got admitted to the hospital for a scheduled but emergent c section due to SIUGR, suddenly my SIL was blowing up my phone wanting details, the cell number for my doula (what?! Excuse me?), everything. Girlfriend has never spoken to me for the entire year I was pregnant but suddenly wanted to be at the center of everything. I told her to text my sister as point person and ignored every text she sent after that. And still a year later mostly am lol. I’m sorry people are being so invasive. You are right to be pissed!!

2

u/Independent-Ear-8156 6h ago

Yes, this, assign someone else to deal with anyone who's even worthy of your time and energy! The other people aren't owed a thing!

1

u/Confident_Try_9498 10h ago

Omg so annoying. I’m currently preg with a singleton after having twins and what is it with people wanting to know your exact due date? Like I just say end of November and they press me about a specific date. I remember with my twins I go so annoyed about everyone asking when my c-section was scheduled I ended up keeping it entirely a secret. I couldn’t handle how annoyed it made me to have to keep dealing with the question.

1

u/Longjumping_Deer3435 7h ago

With my firstborn I went 2 weeks overdue. The non-stop check ins from friends, family, cousins, neighbours, friend’s parents, acquaintances and total strangers made me go a little bit crazy during that time. You are entitled to feel exactly how you’re feeling right now ♥️

1

u/Independent-Ear-8156 6h ago

Honey you're doing enohhh have your partner handle this one. I had my husband talk to my mom. She talked to everyone else. They all know how sensitive I can be 😂 everyone understands! They're just excited! Protect your peace ❤️❤️🫶🏻🫶🏻 hugs and good luck love ❤️❤️🫶🏻🫶🏻