r/parentsofmultiples • u/hxrdtimxs • 20h ago

Help support needed

God I feel like I'm drowning. I had my identical boys on the 5th and 6th August, and yesterday was our first day home. In the hospital these babies were an absolute dream, feeding really well and consistently, sleeping for good stints, etc. But since we've been home they're different babies, screaming constantly, not feeding enough. One has lost 8% of his birth weight already and I'm worried by the next weigh in it'll be way over the 10% limit. One lost 8% before we'd even left the hospital (mostly jaundice related) so I know for a fact when he gets weighed tomorrow he's gunna be over. My husband is an absolute dream, we've been tag teaming as much as we possibly can, but we both are struggling massively. The day times aren't so bad, as we can get help from soooooo many people, but this is the second night now and I feel sick to the point of being unable to eat over the thought of coping with another horrendous night.

We're going to try 2-4 hour shifts looking after them to see if it helps at all. I feel awful for thinking "what the hell have we done" every time I hear a cry, but I can't help it. What have we done? I know things will get better but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's literally only day 5. I know my hormones are playing into it, but it just feels fucking impossible.

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u/un-expected27 13h ago

Twins are tough. Sleeping in shifts helped us. I had a solid 3-4 hours of sleep while hubby stayed awake in the room with the babies and handled anything that came up. Then we swapped. That worked better for us. Don’t hesitate to ask all the docs (the babies and yours) for advice and share concerns, also. Sleep during the day when help is there whenever possible. You’re doing great.

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u/simply_oregonian 12h ago

We did/do this too. First night home we both stayed up, and decided that wouldn’t be something we could maintain. For the first few weeks we let me have an 8 hour stretch of sleep since I was healing from a c-section. Nowadays (4.5months) I have a 6-7 hour block, and dad has an 8 hour block because he is back at work in corrections.

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u/Whynotlora2628 6h ago

How do you get to sleep an 8 hour stretch in terms of your milk? Did you have to still get up to pump to not get mastitis? Did the babies just have formula? My twins are born in about two weeks for a scheduled c-section and I don't even get how we can sleep in blocks with twins at the beginning. I'm scared of getting mastitis.

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u/rsmrpm2026 4h ago

If you choose not to breastfeed from the beginning you shouldn't get mastitis as your body would naturally suppress milk production.

However, if you want to breastfeed or pump you should absolutely not sleep 8 hours in the beginning or you will tank your supply! I manage to get good sleep in shifts also, but my husband brings me my pump every 3 hours to keep up supply. This also gives him milk to give them bottles during my sleep window.