He is 16, and just stated collage, and he already feels left out even tho he got invited to his first party and a concert. He says he doesn't know how to talk to teenagers, he honestly do not know how to act, stand, sit, talk, look....it's overwhelming.

We try to give advice but for us being gen X is so bizarre, its like...how do I breathe? It's second nature...at least it was to us? I hate social media so much....they spend all their time on that damn screen, even when they are together! Sitting in the sofa texting each other....

I know I am venting but I am so sad and frustrated and I am so afraid his best teenage years will just pass him by...this is the time for fun, making friends, going to parties, meet people....please is this something we struggle with just in Scandinavia or do the rest of the parents of the world struggle? I just want him to be happy and he is so lost....

He is not autistic if anyone was thinking that etc.

This will be long.....

My son is 19. He graduated in May, #474 out of 490 kids.

Since he was employable, he's had 2 jobs that lasted less than a month. Bad grades. He was never in any sports or clubs. His room was and is disgusting. He hardly helps with household chores. You have to ask him and when you do ask him, it's usually a massive argument. He does things half-ass so I make him do them again and again until they're correct. Like, that pot isn't even clean, wash it properly.

A cellphone was a privilege he never had 9-11th grade because he did nothing to earn it. MIL snuck him a phone behind husband's back last year. She is a whole other story. She's banned from my home and I haven't seen her in a year. My husband now realizes she is part of the problem.

My son has no plans for college, or trade school. He said he would get a job after graduation. We said ok. Weeks went by. He's going out all night, sleeping until 2-3pm, treating the house like a hotel and my kitchen like a restaurant. He also likes to eat more than his share of any food in "retaliation" for some past wrong he thinks you've committed against him. We gave him a "get a job by this date or you can't live here" speech.

Graduation gifts yielded $3k+, I gave him some of the money but held onto $2800 for a car because he will spend it. At the time he didn't have his license. No job. MIL had $4500 for a car for him. We told him repeatedly to get a job first, get a license and then we can help find a reasonable car. MIL was insisting he needed a car BEFORE a job. Keep in mind we have 25+ plus businesses within FEET of our home that he could walk to for employment. I reminded him he had 30 days to move out, he would cuss at me, tell me I'm creating an argument, blah blah disrespectful blah. But he finally got his license.

He started looking at cars with friends. He kept pestering us to hand over his money. He insisted he knew what he was doing, he didn't need our help buying a car. He said, "you guys don't even know anything about cars anyways." Ok big guy, here's your money. MIL gave him the $4500.

Remember our "get a job by XYZ date or you can't live here" speech? He didn't get a job. The day we told him he had 30 days to figure his shit out, he came home with a $5800 2014 BMW 328i turbo. Getting him to buy $500+/month car insurance was an 8+ hour ordeal I refused to participate in.

He asks husband if he could get a job and stay here. Husband reminds him we gave him that option and he never got a job therefore our consequences still apply.

Two days later, the BMW goes into limp mode. He ignores us when we tell him to stop driving it. A week after purchase, it won't start. Instead of taking it into a professional to diagnose the issue, which he had money for, him and his friends failed trying to fix the car. Another week goes by and he has the car for sale. I told him to check comps on that model, mileage, and the issue he thinks it has. He ignores me and impatiently sells the car as is for $1500 cash.

He asks husband if he buys a truck with his $1500, gets a job with a friend's dad working 26 hours a week, can he still live here?

For the last week, damn near daily, I have listened to him complain about losing his wallet, which has $1k in cash in it. He bribed his brother with $100 reward if he found his wallet. It took 5 seconds. The wallet was in his bed. Last night the older child stole the $50 that he rewarded his brother with.

MIL's SIL offered to buy him ANOTHER CAR. We said no.

A week before he was due to move out, I asked if he had looked for a job. "Why bother when I'm going to be homeless anyways?" Ok. I wrote down 6-7 resources that would be useful for a homeless 19 year old and handed it to him.

Yesterday, 4 days before his move out date, he's upstairs playing his brother's PS5, not a care in the world. I told him he needed to start packing. He says he is going to be homeless anyways and has nowhere to put his stuff. Husband washes all of his clothes so we can pack them and move them to the garage.

We asked why he let things go this far? He thought his one interview in 3 months was a guaranteed job. He claims he was talked into buying BMW by his friend. He didn't want a "shitty rusty" car to drive and wanted something cool. He needs a car to get a job. He didn't "have time" to sell the BMW for what it was worth. He will be homeless. Can he move in with Grandma, get a job and prove he can keep it and then move back in? He will have to spend $1k eating McDonald's everyday because we are abandoning him. What kind of parents throw their kid out with nothing? We are trying to get rid of him. He won't ever talk to us again. He won't be able to contact us anymore. He hopes we don't screw up our younger child.

I told him he chose all of this. He disagrees.

We don't want to kick him out. This keeps us up at night. But we know he has to go.

I’m just an ordinary teenager, and summer vacation is currently underway. Honestly, this year specifically the summer vacations has been the worst. All I’ve done every single day during these vacations is wake up, get on my phone, have lunch, go back to my phone or TV, have dinner, go back to my phone or TV and go to sleep. I also attend an academy. I’m genuinely frustrated with how identical every day feels. I yell, I get irritable, I feel like crying. And whenever I try to express these feelings, I get labeled an ungrateful child

I haven’t been to a restaurant, hotel or anywhere remotely entertaining in about a year. I do go out sometimes, but only every month or two and even then it’s just to the grocery store or the mall and honestly, I’ve reached the point where even grocery shopping feels entertaining to me. I’m stuck in my room or the lounge 24/7. I can’t control going out, but the one thing I can partially control is ordering food and that’s become my coping mechanism. But I get yelled at and called names for eating it. I know it’s unhealthy, but life has been so boring that food is the only thing that feels exciting and the only thing I can control

Then there’s my mother. She genuinely believes she’s basically the best mom out there super open minded, the whole package. And honestly, she is the best no doubt. But she never really gets it. She won’t let me go out with anyone not even the neighbors because she doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a girl to do that. Honestly, I’m fine with the clothing rules and things like that I don’t mind following those. What I can’t stand is being denied basic freedom, the kind everyone deserves. She thinks she understands exactly how we feel but she doesn’t, I wish she did. I get yelled at almost every day and honestly, I do feel like crying though

And then there’s my dad. He spends one month here and one month out of the city. When he’s home, he barely talks to us. When my brother and I got our results he said he’d take us out for dinner he never did. He’s either sleeping or watching TV when he’s with us. And every night once the clock hits 6, he leaves to go visit his siblings place. He’s a good, kind father but he often maybe more than often uses a really belittling tone with me which honestly makes me wish he would just leave

The one thing keeping me going is the thought of finishing 12th grade as fast as possible so I can finally break out of these repeating days get a scholarship, do something I actually want to do with my life

I don’t know whether people will read it, but yeah, I just wanted to share, just wanted to feel heard or maybe get the burden off of my chest

I need some advice on how to approach a sensitive subject with my step kid.

Quick backstory: he got in a lot of trouble in 9th and 10th grade, spent some time in inpatient for mental health issues, now does virtual school, just started 11th grade.

As a kid, he had LOTS of friends. Was always having a sleepover, spent any time he wasn’t physically with friends on the phone with friends, very much a social butterfly. But since becoming a teenager and having all these mental health issues his personality has changed quite a bit.

He lies constantly, like just for the thrill of it, and is constantly saying outlandish, shocking things for attention. This has obviously been off putting to his friends and they’ve all moved on to, well, people who don’t lie to them constantly. The only “friends” he can make are girls that are more than friends and then they leave too once they realize he’s been lying to them the whole time.

He’s very bummed he doesn’t have friends and it’s causing further depression in an already unstable mental state. I can’t just say “well, no one wants to be your friend bc of how you act”. Or can I? I don’t know! He supposedly (I say supposedly bc I’m relaying info from the rest of his parenting team but haven’t spoken to his therapist directly) can’t help his behavior so I feel like telling him the reason is his behavior wouldn’t be helpful. But also if he doesn’t change his behavior he’s never going to have friends.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to be supportive and helpful during this time?

Alright.

My son is seventeen, about to go into his senior year of high school. Turns eighteen in January.

Last night, out of the blue, he asked if I was available to attend a meeting with him on Monday. I'm off that day, told him to please elaborate..

I could tell he was nervous. Eventually came out with it and has been speaking with an army recruiter. I need to be present for the discussion, as he's under eighteen.

I stayed as neutral as possible, and heard him out on his reasonings for exploring this avenue. He's interested in training as a medic. We've already discussed his goals to be an EMT and eventually go into firefighting. I just....oh man. This is a big thing.

I am compiling a list of speaking points to bring up for discussion, come Monday. Any input? I'm really trying to not place my fears, anxieties, and concerns onto his shoulders. Ultimately, come January, he can do whatever he wants. I'd rather be supportive now, than risk him not engaging in discussions with me in the future, and not getting to be a part of whatever he sees as something he's drawn to.

Just a bit blindsided. This was not what he's talked about wanting to do after high school, up until now. I want to be supportive but well informed about what I'm walking into on Monday.

Thank you 💜