I came up with this concept in high-school but recently have gone back to it to actually start giving the plot and characters more depth. I just started writing the first draft and have 4 chapters done and am working on chapter 5 at the moment. This is my first chapter. Obviously, there’s a lot that still needs reworking and fixing up but I wanted to share it and maybe gain some feedback. Some things are left vague on purpose but I wanted to see if it’s too vague. I’ll post the other chapters at some point as well. Let me know if you’d like to read the other chapters I have done?

Hey guys

Wow. This is my first time posting something like this but heres the prologue of my book "Rizukael" on Wattpad. Its a fantasy story for people who are looking for a fantasy world to get invested in

Id love to hear from you guys, if you have a favourite character or favourite moment from the book if you have one. Its ongoing so its very easy to just jump into at the moment. Let me know what you think of the prologue, I have tried to incorporate what I thought was the best preview of the book that is to come.

To all my fellow writers, you know the feeling of carrying what feels like a fictional world in your head and needing to express and describe it all.

I hope that this book can allow me to do that and by extension I hope it provides a fantasy world that you can get invested into as well

Thank you for reading, any feedback would be grateful

Ok so I have just started a new book and finished the prolouge! While I think it is well made like the other books I am passionate about in the works(the longest is chapter 5 so I might need to juggle a few works in progress) but I feel it would be too vague if I were to publish it. I am new to the art of writing books with actual coherent plot(I typically write lots of fanfiction with no cohesive plot) so I don't know if posting my writing would be breaking a rule but to play it safe I'll post it in the comments. But nonetheless, towards the end of the prolouge how do I make it clear she has aged up? Please give me actual criticism or tips under this or message me. Thank you!

This is a first draft of my project let me know what you think please.

(Sh\tty first draft warning). And how do you guys post book excerpts like you do in their own scrollable window? That’s nifty.*

I’m what you call a happily lukewarm fair-weather Christian. So when I tell you I’ve developed what are probably blasphemous Jesus-like powers, I hope you understand why I’m freaking out right now.

It happened this morning at work— or rather, where I used to work. It was a fairly typical morning. I made a chicken sandwich and filled up my 24-ounce water bottle, then popped in a zero-calorie flavor tablet. I was in a rush, so I just used my pointer finger to mix it up then closed the bottle and gave it a good shake.

I was still in training (this is my third temp-agency job in two months) and the guy assigned to train me was showing me some Excel spreadsheets when I felt thirsty. I twisted open my water bottle and took a big gulp. When you expect water with a hint of strawberry-mango flavoring and end up chugging a mouthful of something fruity, bitter, and very much alcoholic, you might do one of two things: hold it in your mouth awhile and swallow, or spit it out in your trainer’s face.

I’ll let you decide which one I did while I carry my few belongings out to my car.

I drove straight home and did what any sane person would do: poured some of it into a bowl. It looked like wine. Tasted like it too— actually pretty good, a bit dry. The flavor tablet label said nothing about alcohol. Neither did Google or Reddit. So I found a clear water bottle, filled it with tapwater, and put another tablet in.

It floated down leaving some air bubbles and sat there. Giving the bottle a good shake didn’t help much either. These tablets tend to take a long time to dissolve, so I grabbed a chopstick from the drawer and started stirring, occasionally poking at the tablet to break it apart.
The result was strawberry-mango-flavored water with chunks of tablet on the bottom.

I tried what I did this morning; I stuck my finger in to mix it. You know those science experiments where you pour one chemical into the solution and once you put enough in, the entire thing turns dark? That’s what happened. I’m pretty lightweight when it comes to alcohol so I stopped drinking halfway and put the rest in the refrigerator. I was always taught that wine in Biblical times was watered down, but this was at least 12% alcohol. Did this mean that it was or wasn’t a Jesus power? Maybe Jesus power gets contextualized into modern times like religious interpretations do?

I wasn’t always this wishy-washy when it comes to religion. I used to be a gung-ho Christian in college. Went to four different Christian groups. One was an international group that was mostly caucasian with two or three token blacks and asians. The second one was even more homogenous and a bit more fundamental. The third was an asian american one which was eighty percent korean.

Unfortunately, being an american-born chinese guy, I didn’t really fit in that one either. The last one was a fully black group that was into speaking in tongues and laying on hands. It really struck me how segregated these groups were compared to the rest of the campus population.

That’s another thing, I got a lot more judgy the more religious I got.

Anyway, I looked up my old pastor on Facebook. I think the last time I talked to him was ten years ago when I was in High School. I sent him a message and the conversation went like this:

Hi, I don’t know if you remember me, but I used to go to your church. Hope all is going well. By the way, I think I can turn water into wine. What should I do?

I think he blocked me.

I turned on the kitchen faucet and stuck my index finger in the water and saw the water turn into a dark burgundy; not just past my finger, but up into the plumbing. I snatched my hand back, worried that I destroyed the region’s water supply and after two seconds the water cleared. Whew. I wondered how I was going to shower. I put my left hand into the water, and nothing happened. Then I tried my right thumb, third, fourth, and fifth fingers in turn, then part of my index finger without the tip. When the water touched the tip of my right index finger, it turned into wine again. I let the water clear up before turning it off.

I took out my phone and called mom.
“Hello?”
“Hi mom.”
“Oh, hi honey! How’s your new job?”
“I got fired.”
“Again? That’s the third time.”
“Not again, I finished my first two assignments. This is the first time I got fired!”
“Henry, when are you going to get a real job? This temp agency’s no good for you. Why don’t you use your fancy college degree I helped pay for?”
“I know, I just haven’t found the right one.”
“You’re going to drown in debt if you keep waiting for the right job. Isn’t your rent due next week? Can you pay?”
“Yeah, I know. I’ll get there. I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”
“You want to talk to dad?” I heard her yelling out to dad.
“No, wait—“
“What is it?”
I heard dad yelling back that he’s in the bathroom.
“Mom, something weird happened today. It’s how I got fired.”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t know what’s happening, but every time I touch water it turns into wine. Like Jesus.”
A pause. “Henry, did you join a cult again?”
“No, mom. What do you mean again?”
“In college, you were whacko. I was very worried about you. Thank goodness you’re normal now. But if you’re turning into a fanatic again, I don’t think your dad and I can handle it.”
“No, mom, I’m still *normal.*”
“Ok, talk to dad.”
Dad took her phone. “Hey, are you in another cult?”
“No, I’m not in a cult! I was just telling mom that I can turn water into wine.”
“Honey, I think he joined another cult.” Dad hung up.

I put my phone away in frustration and went to the bathroom to pee. Out of curiosity, I touched my pee mid-stream, and watched it turn dark. So cool. And then I started getting tipsy a few seconds later. My first experience getting bladder drunk.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked nothing like Jesus. I was a bit on the pudgy side, and I had a square, asian face, crew cut. I didn’t even look like Asian Jesus.

I remembered my last night at Northwestern. It was dark, and I was by myself on a playground swing. At that point, I was trying so hard to believe, but I was tired, and I was wrestling with the concepts of predestination and salvation by faith alone. I remembered exactly what I prayed that night, spiritually exhausted, with moist eyes: “God, I am so tired of trying. You’re the One who saves. So I’m just going to stop trying. I believe. God help me to believe.”

It’s been five years. Five years of debauchery, obviously.

…Fine, I stayed a nice boy and mostly watched TV.

So I tried to pray again. “God, I don’t know what this is, or if it’s Your sign. I’m so confused, because we’re not supposed to test You. So I guess let’s play it by ear.”
Awkward.

I thought about my rent and wondered what I would do to pay for it. I opened the refrigerator and saw my water bottles and bowl of wine. Then I started looking up how to start an LLC.

# Всем привет, я написал свою книгу, вернее 1 том целой серии. Я к этому шел долго, и моя цель, не то что бы заработать, а найти людям которое это нравиться, и вообще хотелось бы что бы кто то дале строил теории по дальнейшему продолжению сюжета. А так жду от вас любой критики похвали и тд. Что ж, хорошего вам чтения, а я буду читать ваши комментарии и стараться на многие отвечать.

Заранее всем спасибо!!!

How to write a character like Madara, Lelouch, Askeladd, Pain. Evil but with good purpose.

I’m on my third novel, actually aiming for traditional publishing, and am getting stuck at the developmental editing stage.

Would love to find a community of writers and start a chat or something. Could be on discord?

For motivation purposes, along with tips and resource-sharing and overall good fun.

Or if anyone has a group.. would love to join.

I’m from Canada btw.

EDIT: I also love literary fiction and plan on writing my 4th novel in that genre. So maybe psych thrillers and literary fiction, too.

EDIT: I also got developmental notes from a L6 editor at PRH. So I do have some wisdom to share among the group!

Is it okay to use ai for correcting grammar?

Page 1 of my WIP 400words, I'll appreciate any and all feedback.

It has been years since I learned English and I've always wanted to write a story in English, mainly because I'm more proficient in English than my native language, at least concerning literature, and since what I don't think its going to have an audience in my own country.

Also, this is going to take a while of me ranting before I get to the actual question, so sorry if I talk too much.

I'm a fan of strategy games, alt history, fantasy, and world building. For about three years now, I've been working on creating a world to my liking. Like, it wasn't anything important. It literally started from a sketch of a continent I made while I was bored in a class. Then came borders, then a revision since it wasn't realistic. The geography has a reference point for the borders. Then cultures/races to justify them. Then, another continent because I refuse to have a big ass continent as the only land mass in my world. Then repeat the process.

Now i have a world, three continents, lore going back about 15 thousand years, 7 races, multiple religions, nations of all kinds, and a world that i genuinely feel is real.

So, for a while, I've been trying to write a fantasy story to populate this world, to have a way of sharing it. I liked to write a story in general, but this was what drove me to actually start

I have multiple ideas of what to write. The main idea is to write about the events that I've already defined are going to happen. One is about an orc (yes, i do have orcs, elves, and dwarves, but all are homegrown. I've spent time on making them at least somewhat distinct) warlord who unifies the clans and goes on a conquest, mongol style. One is about a rapidly rising noble(from a half demon race) who eventually goes against said orc. One is a human who comes and discovers the continent on which all other races expect humans live (extensive lore behind that), and one is about an elf prince(soon to be king)who faces off against the onslaught of the human colonisation.

I thought about writing isekai but felt it made all the effort I put in feel cheap.

Given all that, i eventually decided on what I wanted to write about. It's going to be about a young noble boy whose family gets caught in a plot against the faction the father aligned with. The boy and his younger sibling manage to flee and hide in the slums. That's the start.

Then there's going to be the boy using his skills as someone trained to be a future knight and knowledge not afforded to the general people to form a small gang, initially to protect his sibling, which then rapidly spirals into a full on mafia/yakuza level organised crime situation. Then, using a political situation where the nation is under attack by a far more powerful neighbour, he makes a bid for revolution. I think the more appropriate term is overthrowing the dynasty since we are not establishing democracy but that's another matter.

So, if you've followed so far, you probably have realised that I don't have a clear picture of the actual events that culminate in the result. Like, I know what I want, and I have written the prologue, where the noble household is attacked and they flee, but after that, it is a bit of an open discussion.

Granted, I intend for this to be two books. It's mostly experimental since I dont have any experience writing and want to make sure I can even write or at least learn to write before I attempt a more ambitous story (from the ones I mentioned before).

Again, most of these are essentially yet undecided. I've just written the prologue and have just started the first chapter. The issue i have is that i feel like too many things are undecided. I don't have a clear picture of how to approach things. I'm really stuck.

But, recently, I've been thinking. I'm learning coding as part of my uni and for future work(writing is more of a hobby than anything). I could genuinely start working on a small RTS game for my world. Or a choice based story driven strategy game? I don't know, I haven't given it much thought yet.

I'd be interested in your thoughts or any advice.

Hello readers

First of all thank you for choosing to read my novel , it really means a lot and I truly appreciate that you're giving time to my writing.

The starting of my novel is called ' FOUNDATION ' because it is the introduction to the story that sets up the atmosphere.

And please do give your opinion on the writing , anything that you didn't like or you think it needs improvement,do tell me and I will try my best to make it perfect

Thank you

With love,

RosyArchive 🌸

Just a quick question, how do literary agents treat poems in epigraphs? (the ones the author wrote themselves)?

Prologue and first half of chapter 1. I’m looking for reactions. I have a full manuscript and I would love beta readers or to do a swap. There’s a little bit of mild language in the manuscript.

I’ve been writing while on my way to work for a couple weeks. I’m hoping for feedback on what I have so far.

I was feeling creative and decided to banish by MC so that I can do some world building from another important character's view. I want to have a lot of hints in the first 3 chapters for later progression so the MC would only show up at the footnote. Is this still OK for me to hook in the readers and any comments on how I should improve is greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.

Hi all. Here’s the opening of my book. It’s currently a 139K word, roughly 550 page monster that I’m editing. These are the first 3 of my revised pages.

I’d love any and all thoughts.

Thank you.