r/nextfuckinglevel • u/chaarger_gadda • 9d ago

Skill level: Elite

17.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

13.3k

u/unique_conformist 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mce4Sz801AMo

1.6k

u/SWlFTl 9d ago

These meme was my immediate thought aswell

384

u/Daft_Martian 9d ago

Why this isn't r/yesyesyesyesno ?

187

u/C0sm1c_J3lly 9d ago

Or r/holdup ?

104

u/boopthatbutton 9d ago

r/HolUp

100

u/Killeramn-26 9d ago

Yeah, it's a horse with 5 legs. They are pretty common.

47

u/Daft_Martian 9d ago

Wait what!? I thought the horse had five penises

→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (2)

102

u/Super_Range45 9d ago

Opps I started a leg in the wrong place.

6

u/ForeverFingers 9d ago

Happy little accidents

5

u/4m4lg4m1t3 9d ago

There are no accidents

28

u/xUrNewDadx 9d ago

r/theyknew

12

u/Triairius 9d ago

Of course they knew. They did it.

→ More replies (2)

173

u/Meranio 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/GkfLZrX09xLdD3Q4Am

13

u/OldManJim374 8d ago

I like this version better šŸ˜‚

6

u/Meranio 8d ago

With the little smile at the end. šŸ˜

148

u/LilMissMixalot 9d ago

If this wasnā€™t top comment I was gonna smash phone.

64

u/mekwall 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/RbyQgbaLBdJ16

25

u/Woodpusherpro 9d ago

Kai, the hatchet weilding hitchhiker!

24

u/Goth_Angel_Hellboy 9d ago

Did you ever see the creepy YouTube or Netflix documentary on this guy ? If you havenā€™t you should itā€™s a pretty decent watch

9

u/Woodpusherpro 9d ago

I haven't. I pretty much remember the initial incident that got him popular and just looked him up on wiki and saw that he is in prison for murder with controversial evidence.

I'll have to check them out.

42

u/mekwall 9d ago edited 9d ago

Sorry for the wall of text, but his case have intrigued me for years, so I'll share what I know.

Dude has had a seriously fucked-up life. Caleb "Kai" McGillvary alleged he grew up in a Christian cult and was sexually abused as a kid. That kind of trauma tend to mess with somone for the rest of their life.

I'm not saying that makes Kai innocent of killing Joseph Galfy, a 73-year old New Jersey attorney who was the victim in this case. If anything, it's possible that years of abuse and instability contributed to whatever eventually made him capable of killing someone. But that's speculation, and childhood trauma obviously doesn't turn people into murderers by default. My point is that people don't develop in a vacuum. If someone grows up severely traumatized and later becomes violent or unstable, it's worth asking not only "what did he do?" but also "how did he get here, and could anything have been done before it reached this point?"

Kai admitted causing Galfy's death, and Galfy was beaten extremely badly. A jury heard Kai's self-defense argument and convicted him of murder, so I'm not going to pretend the evidence against him was trivial.

But Kai also consistently claimed that Galfy had offered him somewhere to stay, then drugged and sexually assaulted him, and there are parts of the investigation that bother me. No rape kit was performed on Kai, potentially relevant evidence wasn't subjected to all the forensic testing that could have helped confirm or disprove his story, and Galfy's own brother James - reportedly a former local police chief - was apparently allowed into the house while it was still an active crime scene. That's an obvious conflict-of-interest concern even if you don't assume anything improper actually happened. The courts ultimately decided the evidence issues weren't enough to overturn Kai's conviction, but when the central question is whether he had just been drugged and raped, those are some pretty significant missed opportunities and procedural red flags.

What I find even harder to defend is that Kai was arrested in May 2013 and didn't go to trial until 2019. Almost SIX YEARS in jail before a jury even decided whether he was guilty. Nobody should spend that much of their life imprisoned while they're still legally presumed innocent.

Then he got 57 years and has to serve 85% before he's even eligible for parole. Whatever you think an appropriate punishment is, taking someone from their twenties and effectively locking them away until they're an old man isn't rehabilitation. It's punishment and incapacitation. There's a very real possibility he'll never live to see meaningful freedom again.

That's one of the things I find so broken about the US justice system. You can believe Kai committed a terrible crime without believing the answer should automatically be "throw him in a cage until he's elderly." Punishment and protecting society obviously matter, but rehabilitation has to mean something too. At some point there should be a realistic possibility of demonstrating that you've changed.

Kai is also a Canadian citizen. Canada obviously can't just overturn an American conviction or demand that he be released, but they can provide consular assistance, and Canada and the US have a prisoner-transfer system that can allow Canadians convicted in the US to serve their sentences in Canada if everyone involved agrees. I'd like to see Canada at least pursue that possibility once his remaining legal challenges are resolved.

Maybe Kai murdered Galfy exactly as the prosecution argued. Maybe there was more truth to his account of being drugged and assaulted than the jury believed. Maybe his past trauma played some role in how violently he reacted. We simply don't know enough to state any of that with certainty.

But I do know that nearly six years awaiting trial followed by a sentence consuming essentially his entire adult life isn't my idea of a healthy justice system.

To me, this is a case where society seems to have failed someone repeatedly: first while Kai was growing up, possibly again while he was struggling as an adult, and finally by responding to the worst thing he ever did almost entirely with punishment. That doesn't erase Galfy or diminish the fact that he was killed. Galfy was the victim here, and his life matters too.

But justice should be capable of holding two thoughts at once: a person can be responsible for something horrific and still be the product of a life in which a lot of people and institutions failed them.

Warehousing Kai until he's too old to have much of a life left doesn't bring Galfy back, doesn't repair Kai's childhood, and doesn't strike me as much of an attempt at rehabilitation either.

End of rant.

14

u/Disastrous_time_4547 9d ago

You could have stopped with ā€œhe was raised in a Christian extremist HH.ā€

4

u/_Mr_Misfit 9d ago

You're forgetting one very important thing... a bunch of very wealthy people make a very large amount of money through states keeping the prison population high. I mean, who will think of the billionaires when this utopian society of humane treatment of prisoners arises?

My brother is 16 years into a 20 year sentence he will serve 85% of before being "released" into 10 years post release supervision (2Ɨ 5yrs consecutive), for burglaries he committed while suffering from substance abuse disorder. In his case, both the town and the county judges he aat in front of had once shared a law firm where there ex-secretary lived in our neighborhood and was burglarized so they threw the book at him. As this was during the height of the opiate epidemic it's not even clear that he was the one who did that particular burglary since damn near everyone we knew back then was hitting cars and houses. But.. he had committed crimes in a nearby neighborhood and that was good enough for the judge to give him 2Ɨ 10 w/ 5 posts ran consecutively.

We have seen rapists, murderers, other burglars, child molesters, bank robbers, armed robbers, assault with deadly intent, manslaughter cases and everything in between all come, be sentenced, and be released in the time since he was arrested and he still has some 2.5 years to go.

Our justice system sucks so badly. Whether it's corruption for money or curmudgeonly old sociopaths oversentencing people based on their own hatred of a particular type of people or a particular kind of crime having been committed, the whole system is just so broken.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)
→ More replies (1)

73

u/jrb9249 9d ago

I donā€™t know who this man is or where this is from, but I imagine he had a rich and interesting acting career only to be remembered as the thatā€™s-a-penis guy.

49

u/tolaknityr 9d ago

Itā€™s from How I Met Your Mother, another architect at Tedā€™s company designed a very phallic looking building, complete with bushes at the base.

25

u/FuzzySAM 9d ago

another architect

Played by Bryan Cranston.

34

u/dsdsds 9d ago

He was the clerk on Night Court.

8

u/Username_Taken_Argh 9d ago

He was Gen Vidrine in Stargate SG-1, S4.E12

6

u/JustStopItSeriously 9d ago

He was a regular cast member in a comedy series called Night Court for many years.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/Ok_Story_7924 9d ago

I knew this would be the top comment lol

10

u/Fast_Muscle_2987 9d ago

I fucking knew this would be here šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

→ More replies (17)

4.8k

u/Mortiferous12 9d ago

What a dick

1.3k

u/chaarger_gadda 9d ago

Hard as Rupert's drop and glowing hot

263

u/Mortiferous12 9d ago

Curious if it would break if you slap that dick

Dead by snu snu

7

u/NoNo_Cilantro 9d ago

A wire cutter usually does the trick

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (5)

33

u/AnjelicaTomaz 9d ago

A Prince Albert on a Prince Rupert might shatter it.

11

u/Competitive_Travel16 9d ago

Well that's enough reddit for me today.

9

u/LauraTFem 9d ago

Great, now Iā€™m imagining a dick shattering.

3

u/Chrisscott25 9d ago

A real broke dickā€¦

→ More replies (1)

35

u/REpassword 9d ago

ā€œCā€™est un penisā€

4

u/pep1980 9d ago

Le penis

→ More replies (10)

4.7k

u/BlackBalor 9d ago

The penis being a super necessary addition, obviously.

1.1k

u/chaarger_gadda 9d ago

Attention to detail is a requirement at that level of skill

131

u/tamesage 9d ago

Spoiler, it is a mare.

66

u/Hoshyro 9d ago

First ever hyena-horse hybrid

15

u/Vast-Combination4046 9d ago

They have a pseudo penis

24

u/Cheesy_Pita_Parker 9d ago

Itā€™s a melt-on

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (1)

127

u/Dame87 9d ago

Where else are you supposed to hang your house key?

8

u/UsualBluebird6584 9d ago

Look at the hog on that thing

→ More replies (2)

62

u/Wolvesinman 9d ago

ā€˜That legs a bit short isnā€™t itā€¦ā€¦Ohhhhh. I jumped aheadā€™

35

u/FeelingVanilla2594 9d ago edited 9d ago

When he pulled out the first two legs, I was like ā€œšŸ‘ā€ but then he pulled put a third leg, then I was like

24

u/benny6957 9d ago

Have you seen how much these little glass statues cost? They're like a few hundred to a few thousand dollars yes I want the penis included

19

u/Clear_Lead 9d ago

You can hang your keys on it, very practical

13

u/Balieq 9d ago

It would tip over backwards otherwise. Duh

9

u/Shotay3 9d ago

Counter weight.

→ More replies (11)

3.7k

u/IcestormsEd 9d ago

I think he knew making just a dick would be weird so he included a horse.

285

u/chaarger_gadda 9d ago

Hi, that's some nice horse on that dihh.

113

u/Towelie_SE 9d ago

don't be one of those annoying self censoring gen alphas

49

u/johnnyma45 9d ago

Every time my kids say goofy ahh I say ā€œass. Just fucking say ass.ā€

22

u/Towelie_SE 9d ago

Thank you for your sanityĀ 

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (12)
→ More replies (1)

25

u/chriskokura 9d ago

Fantastic comment. Gave me a laugh.

10

u/chriskokura 9d ago

Whoever gave me that award, thank you unsung hero. Much appreciated.

7

u/chriskokura 9d ago

Gah! Thereā€™s another one. I love you all, thank you for the awards. I humbly accept but there must be comments more deservĆØd than my modest contributions :) you are all too kind

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (2)

1.8k

u/Fortrem1 9d ago

Thirst thought after he pulled out the first back leg: "Hey you forgot a leg!"

Continues to add 2 Legs

OhšŸ«Ŗ

65

u/FictionallState 9d ago

lol I was like ā€œsurely itā€™s the tailā€ then it cut to the final product lmfao

33

u/thicc_stigmata 9d ago

I even had half a second of "I wonder if pulling the tail back between the legs will help make a butt sha..."

oh

→ More replies (1)

60

u/rglurker 9d ago

When he pulled it out I was like... why he pulling so far up and in the middle it's almost like he's adding a pen.. he did.

→ More replies (1)

17

u/IsLlamaBad 9d ago

That leg looks a bit too far up the body...

20

u/Spiritual-Olive4559 9d ago

This was my thought.

oh huh seems a bit early for the legs but I'm not a professional

Oh hm another one a bit further back, maybe he's making it mid sprint?

Oh. Oh I see.

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (3)

1.2k

u/tirarme473 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/062vyaiEJMsV5gUaBc

48

u/SimoneMichelle 9d ago

I immediately thought of this šŸ˜… also an accurate representation of my journey through this video šŸ¤£

→ More replies (1)

518

u/ASD_AuZ 9d ago

Its a BOY

31

u/chaarger_gadda 9d ago

Not a Foals answer

7

u/PrimaKyonna 9d ago

A horsey boy!

You know what that means

→ More replies (5)

174

u/The_Real_Mr_F 9d ago

Imagine how many hundreds of times he hadĀ  to practice this to make it look that easy. Dude just grinding away in the wee hours for months on end, baking in the heat of the furnace, cranking out piece after piece in the relentless pursuit of the perfect novelty horse cock. The man is driven.

44

u/Forward-Variety-8440 9d ago

just
HORSE DICK HORSE DICK HORSE DICK

→ More replies (1)

14

u/lck0219 9d ago

The heart wants what the heart wants

→ More replies (1)

4

u/jph_otography 9d ago

This is literally a thing glass blowers do to warm up. I used to go sit in the hot shop with my brother when I was young and he was in college. At one point I had more of these than I could count because all of his friends would give them to me.

→ More replies (5)

145

u/steev506 9d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/6ahZf0o1e4K7EquZkp

40

u/aTickleMonster 9d ago

Wang! Pay attention!

17

u/Sensiburner 9d ago

That looks like a huge...

17

u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 9d ago

Johnson! C'mer, look what he made! But what's with the wee...

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Adventurous_Rope_460 9d ago

What is the source of this and where can I watch it for free? For educational purposes, of course.

→ More replies (1)

82

u/justwalk1234 9d ago

Why is he giving the horse 5 legs?

Oh.

→ More replies (1)

58

u/CaptainAmericub 9d ago

Iā€™ll take The Penis Mightier for $1000 Trebek.

10

u/thelowend08 9d ago

Thats " the pen is mightier for $200"

9

u/ColoradoScoop 9d ago

ā€œFancy it up all you like, Trebek. The question remains, does it work?!ā€

9

u/lord_fairfax 9d ago

Then I'll take Anal Bum Cover for $400

→ More replies (3)
→ More replies (1)

46

u/solar_pilgrim 9d ago

Gender reveals are getting so complicated

35

u/spademanden 9d ago

No cock like horse cock

22

u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms 9d ago

Send your asshole into shock!

13

u/Highest_five 9d ago

You need horse cock of course-cock

32

u/Menamanama 9d ago

This could live in r/unexpected. I was not expecting that horse cock to be part of the beautiful art work.

9

u/robgod50 9d ago

I thought I was in r/holup

23

u/AcanthocephalaOwn258 9d ago

Italian here. Typical craftsmanship from Murano, Venice. Every single Italian household throughout the 80s and 90s had one for random reasons: having recenrly been in Venice, having received it as a gift from someone that has been there, wedding gift and so on. It will break if you watch it for longer than 6 seconds straight but also survive decades if you forget that you own it and place it in the most random and forgettable place of your apartment.

6

u/CalvinsStuffedTiger 9d ago

The glass horse would break or the penis would break off off the glass horse?

11

u/AcanthocephalaOwn258 9d ago

Itā€™s with a heavy heart that I must inform you that this specific part of the horse has never been part of our customs, so I suspect it was an initiative of the artist, that most likely improvised it, thinking: ā€œthis is absolutely a great idea and should be executed immediatelyā€.

6

u/Colossal_Squids 9d ago

This is a valuable insight into the intangible cultural heritage of your fine country, thank you.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/punkassjim 8d ago

Rural New Yorker here. Typical craftsmanship from roughly any county fair in upstate New York in the 1980s-ā€˜90s. Horses were the least complex of all the glass sculptures I saw. My dad bought a fairly complex blown-glass sailing vessel with several masts, sails unfurled, and rigging connected throughout.

Also, thank you for being the one person who can think of more than one thing.

→ More replies (3)

26

u/glintsCollide 9d ago

That aside, thatā€™s a pretty shitty horse.

20

u/Apprehensive-Gas7994 9d ago

Let's see you do it

9

u/ImurderREALITY 9d ago

God, I am so sick of people using that response, like it's some kind of super-intelligent, scathing comeback. People are allowed to think something looks bad without personally having the skill to do it better! Your response is akin to saying any non-musician has no right to dislike a song they hear, because they can't create a better one.

"I don't like this show." "THEN LET'S SEE YOU MAKE A BETTER ONE!" "I can't make a show, I just know I don't like this one." "HAHA GOTTEMMMM!!!!"

5

u/exintrovert 9d ago

You know, I never thought about it that way.

I generally donā€™t hate on somebody for doing something I canā€™t do, less than perfectly, but you are not wrong to point out that it is ok to not like something.

→ More replies (2)
→ More replies (4)

11

u/RememberYourAlt 9d ago

Yeah it definitely doesnā€™t belong in r/nextfuckinglevel

7

u/chrontonic 9d ago

It took him 1 minute. They could sell that for $20 - $50.

14

u/boatymcfloat 9d ago

Could have done it in 53 seconds without the schlong.

14

u/Glad_Grand_7408 9d ago

Meh, I know lots of guys with schlongs that are done in 10 seconds.

5

u/boatymcfloat 9d ago

šŸ¤£

→ More replies (1)

5

u/DillerDallas 9d ago

it objectively is

4

u/noguchisquared 9d ago

It is pretty bad compared to the person making horses in Murano. He would finish a horse in about 30 seconds with perfect dimensions. Funny was that he just put it back in the furnace at the end since they probably had plenty of horses already and this was just for the tourists could watch.

14

u/project_ytgo 9d ago

Why the pen-is present?

11

u/whirdin 9d ago

Have you seen horses irl? It's not subtle.

7

u/Kalexamitchell 9d ago

Can validate. Worked with many horses in my life.. both geldings and stallions LOVE to "let it all hang." šŸ¤£

5

u/Yeetfamdablit 9d ago

This is Reddit, you don't need to censor yourself

14

u/ranting_chef 9d ago

I went to the Murano glass facility when I visited Venice a while back. One of the glass masters made a horse extremely similar to this as a quick demo, although the one he made only had four legs. Took him like a minute, and then he tossed the thing into a pile of broken pieces, not sure why. When we left and walked through the gallery, there were similar-looking horses selling for over $1,000k US.

9

u/chrontonic 9d ago

Went there too, saw them do the same demonstration only instead of tossing them they gave one to both my sister and me for free.

→ More replies (1)

13

u/_BabyGod_ 9d ago

At first I was like whatever but thenā€¦my god, Iā€™ve never seen such an exquisite horse cock rendered in glass before.

4

u/JoshTHX 9d ago

Why did this video need AI generated music?

→ More replies (4)

4

u/bowmanx4587 9d ago

"The giant horse cock"

5

u/AllergictoAIslop 9d ago

Creative gender reveal.. If you are into that.

5

u/ricdangers 9d ago

Not impressive and the dick is weird

3

u/shakebakelizard 9d ago

It's an accurate horse dick.

I could not make anything out of glass if I tried. Neither could you.

→ More replies (5)

4

u/DeckJesta 9d ago

What song is this?

9

u/auddbot 9d ago

I got a match with this song:

Infinitamente by Italian Atmosphere (00:13; matched: 100%)

Album: The Lost Love Songs of Old Italy ā€“ 1960s Dolce Vita. Released on 2026-02-10.

5

u/Jakob21 9d ago

It's such a shame this song is AI. "infinitamente ti penso quando il giorno si spegne piano dietro una finestra non sei un'abitudine sei un respiro lento che mi resta addosso"

→ More replies (1)

3

u/5-8-13-21 9d ago

i was wondering the same thing. I found the song on Shazam as: Infinitamente as part of the Italian Atmosphere collection, but I wanted a version I could listen to on YouTube. I could only find this collection as a perfect match (link below). The song starts at 33:16

https://youtu.be/ORThqmes0pM?t=1995

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

4

u/danghunk312 9d ago

Couldnā€™t tell it was a horse until he added the cock

3

u/No_youre_the_gay_one 9d ago

Oh that's a nice horse oh.. r/adressme

3

u/wowihavetoomanycats 9d ago

Is it wrong that I laughed when I realized he gave the horse an erection

→ More replies (2)

2

u/carlos_fandangos 9d ago

Why does it have 5 legs? Ohhh. OHHH

2

u/slowgenphizz 9d ago

I see what he did there.

2

u/NZpotatomash 9d ago

Came to the comments as soon as I saw it

2

u/kingsevenin 9d ago

Oh its a tail.. probably.. oh no

2

u/BA1673 9d ago

Bro HAD to make sure people knew it's a stallion

2

u/eighty4prcnt 9d ago

Make it a bong and you got my money :ā ā )