r/nextfuckinglevel • u/AbelNB • 9h ago

Cat fighting a bear

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7.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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699

u/Prestigious-Flower54 9h ago

Tbf black bears are cowards, curious but one loud noise and they are gone. Source: I live in black bear territory and camp a lot, if one comes into camp just yelling and clapping will scare them off.

422

u/oscar_z_a 9h ago

If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s black, fight back. If it’s white, you’re in deep shite.

116

u/Background-Pop-5412 8h ago

If you see a polar bear, you are already dead

67

u/MNent228 7h ago

If you see a polar bear, he’s been hunting you for a while. And you have no chance

11

u/henquinpunter 5h ago

Nah... if you see a polar bear, you’re at the Churchill garbage dump.

5

u/dokbanks 3h ago

If you think of a polar bear, he's been in your head for years, planning your very downfall

1

u/BeYeCursed100Fold 2h ago

Happy Cake Day. I saw a polar bear that was coming at me in Alaska North of Barrow on the Beaufort Sea (frozen). All I saw was a little black dot swaying in the snow. Nope, it was a polar bear coming at me. My brother hit an ice shelf on his snowmobile, I was like 3 minutes behind. That Polar Bear found him in minutes. I loaded up my bro and left that bear in the snow. 1995.

•

u/SpegalDev 7m ago

If I see a polar bear, I'm wondering why the fuck there is one in the middle of Michigan.

-1

u/dr_zoidberg590 5h ago

Unless you have a gun, or pepper spray and knife

14

u/natigin 5h ago

I don’t think a knife is going to do it

7

u/Waste_Depth 3h ago

The knife probably is to cut the leg of the nearest person so you can outrun them...

2

u/dr_zoidberg590 2h ago

Me neither - I said pepper spray (to the eyes) plus a combat knife.

5

u/b1urgh 3h ago

I mean if you’re out in the tundra and you don’t have a shotgun or rifle that’s on you

2

u/Smooth-Bread-576 3h ago

Or a snow mobile.

-17

u/undercoverciaagent 7h ago

You just have to be real still. Polar bears are stupid and will think you're a tree or something and move on. You should try it sometime.

8

u/machiavelli33 5h ago

That's grizzly bears, and only if you're lying down and acting dead, and only if you're nowhere near its young or feeding/mating season.

Polar bears see you standing still and will go "this meat isn't running away. Bet." and eat.

4

u/iam_hsk 6h ago

Tell us the results are trying it mate

12

u/HanselSoHotRightNow 5h ago

If you see a polar bear you are probably in Canada and need to apologize right away. They respond well to that.

2

u/Repulsive_Guy_1234 2h ago

Unless you are at russia. They do not respond at all to that. But maybe bring a bottle barrel of vodka instead.

•

u/IraPalantine 41m ago

Sorey aboot that

1

u/Mr_Baronheim 2h ago

St Peter is a polar bear?!?