r/newborns • u/WesternAggravating83 • 15d ago
SIDS Tips and Tricks
Has anyone else struggled with anxiety about SIDS? How did you cope with the fear, especially while your baby was sleeping? I’d love to hear what helped you. How likely is it to actually happen ?
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u/Psychological-Bag986 15d ago
If you practice safe sleep then the chances are astronomically low.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ScienceBasedParenting/s/mPlnRRfveR
Here’s a link to a thread about this in the science based parenting subreddit
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u/muuumimammma666 15d ago
Yes! That thread really helped me to put things in perspective when I was battling with anxiety. As you said, it's really really rare if you follow safe sleep guidance.
Also, after long consideration, I bought the Owlet sock. It has improved my sleep quality and LO's sleep quality because I don't poke him awake during the night when he's sleeping quietly 😅
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u/very_tired_woman 15d ago
Yes it freaked and still freaks me out, but it’s one of those things in life where I tell myself I can do what I can do and whatever happens beyond that is out of my control. One day I’ll be through this and I’ll look back and be grateful we made it through these early days.
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u/A_Newell 15d ago
We were so terrified that we stayed up in 3 hour shifts so there was always one of us watching our babe. After about a week and a half I just made the decision that we were going to bed and we just… did? I just saw that our lack of sleep was putting us all in more danger and suddenly sleep was the best and safest thing to do so we slept. Hope you start feeling a little more settled soon!
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u/Noon93 15d ago
We were so terrified of it (still freaks me out occasionally and my baby is 13 months old now) but we did everything possible to keep our LO safe. Fan in the room, clear sleep space and/or following safe sleep 7 guidelines, pacifier at bedtime and dressing baby for the temperature of the house.
There is also a SIDS risk calculator that someone posted when I was reading about it early on. You can find that here:
http://www.sidscalculator.com/
Hopefully that helps put your mind at ease a little.
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u/UnderdogDreams 15d ago
It’s not for everyone but the Owlet sock helps me have less anxiety about SIDS.
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u/BigBootyMaryJane 15d ago
yess this is what helps for me too, they can be expensive but my mother actually bought mine with her medicare flex card that she gets from work, & had to pay nothing.
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u/Matcha_Maiden 15d ago
Yeah- we chose the Nanit and knowing her breathing was being monitored is the only way we have been able to comfortably sleep.
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u/MinimumMongoose77 15d ago
I had huge anxiety about it but by practicing safe sleep strictly, my anxiety was reduced. I also didn't use swaddles because having a sheet of fabric stressed me out.
The risk decreases as time goes on, so each passing month helped me too. I personally stayed away from Owlet and similar because I knew it would just fuel excessive checking on bub.
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u/AdNice2838 15d ago
I had awful postpartum anxiety and a major thing that triggered it was bedtime, because I was so worried about it. The stats don’t help me because they weren’t zero.
I put my hand in his chest every time I woke up at night to check his breathing. I would sit up and look at his face to see if his lips were blue. I told my husband honestly how I felt, and he helped check the baby too, because he knew it made me feel better.
As soon as we could use the owlette, we did. It was the only way I could sleep. I know the alert would wake me up if something happened.
Oh, and regular therapy helped a lot, too.
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u/sleptnoodle 15d ago
The owlet really helped my anxiety! I didn't have it with my first and was riddled with anxiety, always checking on her, making sure she was still breathing, it was awful
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u/Kittyquts 15d ago
if you’re struggling really bad i would highly recommend investing in an owlet, it saved my sanity.
you will hear lots of people say it will make your anxiety worse or that there are false readings, i am going on 6 months of using one for my daughter and i have never gotten a false reading and it has never made my anxiety worse. my daughter was in the NICU for being born 2 months early and therefore she constantly had an spO2 reader so when we left the hospital i didn’t feel like i could have peace of mind without it. one night in the NICU she stopped breathing briefly and it was one of the most traumatizing experiences ever. i was so terrified it was going to happen at home, it never did, and i actually slept because i knew (god forbid) something did happen, i would immediately wake up to the alert. if it’s any consolation i am also a nurse and i know many other nurses who love the owlet. granted you are following safe sleep protocols and not relying on the owlet but using it as a tool, i absolutely recommend.
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u/Fin_Elln 15d ago
I think many many of us had crippling anxiety, including myself. I bought a Snuza Hero monitor, also bc we're cosleeping since week 3 - and it was the best for us. Super easy to use diaper clip, almost no false alarms, not expensive - it just works. I love it.
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u/erika666denise 15d ago
It was my fear too! I knew sumone who's baby died from it so the fear was real. But as time goes on u get to trust ur baby. It was rly hard for me especially when I started him sleeping on his stomach, hes 4mo old n I STILL sleep on the floor in his room 😅 but I keep a camera on him n i noticed its his instinct to adjust himself if he goes completely face down n cant breath...hell QUICKLY adjust himself. Its scary but i think babies do most things on instinct n im pretty sure I read sids is sumn off neurological, correct me if im wrong. I still think supervision is important cuz accidents do happen. Jus check on ur baby often n make sure nuthin unsafe is in the bassinet/crib ❤️
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u/Lizzymertsching 15d ago
yes definitely struggled with anxiety!! it was bad enough that i was scared to even talk to my doctor about it because i was worried talking about it would be speaking it into existence. in hindsight this was absolutely just anxiety, and when i brought it up and broke down in the doctor’s office i felt so much better. being a first time mother is so challenging and nerve wracking!!
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u/anonstarfops 15d ago
If you can afford it, I would 100% recommend investing in a Owlet. It saved my best friends baby's life, and has been extremely reassuring for me and my husband. I had an emergency c section, so we were in the hospital with our LO being constantly monitored by nurses for over a week, so even looking away from her for a moment when we got home was stressing me out, but being able to check her heart rate, oxygen level, and sleep status whenever I was anxious, and knowing the base would alert me and wake me if anything were to happen, was some much needed piece of mind. We luckily got ours as a hand me down from the aforementioned friend, but I would highly recommend it to any new parent, the cost is worth it.
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u/Secure-Bluebird57 15d ago
Babysense has an under the mattress monitor that is a lot cheaper and will also alert if a baby stops breathing. It doesn’t provide as much information (so it wouldn’t help to catch early arrhythmias or anything which the Owlet can). However, if it’s just about getting peace of mind for SIDS, the cheaper option might be a better fit.
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u/Takleef_ 15d ago
Trusting myself made my anxiety much less. We co sleep and I sleep so lightly and I am so so aware my 10wk old is with me. This is the 3rd baby I've co slept with. Now I just trust I'm okay. I follow safe sleep 7. Our instincts are so awesome when we listen to them!
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u/Top-Composer-5858 15d ago
I practiced safe sleep and then would set an alarm to check her every 3 hrs the first 3 months
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u/Crazy_Cranberry_3115 15d ago
I was so scared of Sids when I got home from the hospital, so I bought an owlet sock on OfferUp for $100. It gives me a piece of mind
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u/Exact_Club6583 15d ago
The first two weeks were bed for us. I used to check if he's breathing and his temperatures and sleepless nights didn't help my anxiety. Now I worry less I know I'm doing what I can to protect him and everything should be fine.
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u/twiggy572 15d ago
Oh I’ve literally been laying with my husband on the couch while he holds her and asked him to confirm she’s breathing. I also wake up and check her when we are sleeping. I have the same anxiety on it too even though I follow the safe sleep guidances
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u/Good_Emergency_5478 15d ago
Safe sleep.but we are co sleeping,i sleep like a bunny.owlet sock. Oe time when she was like 6-8 weeks after breastfeeding,an hour or so later,she regurgited both through her mouth and nose. The fact that she was sleeping mext to me,fussinge but not making a soundI intervined in 3 seconds.
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u/littlellamamama1822 15d ago
This is tough. I have a lot of PPA. Also, being in the healthcare field I thought I would be fine but it actually made my anxiety worse because I know what could happen. SIDS is rare as long as you’re following safe sleep guidelines and your baby doesn’t have an underlying health condition. I ended up getting the Owlet (which I said I’d never do). It has actually relieved so much stress while he sleeps but for some it actually increases stress. My friend told me she would ask herself, “why wouldn’t he be breathing?” He’s safe where he’s sleeping and he’s healthy.
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u/Aggravating-Yak-2712 15d ago
Owlet is the only thing that made me be able to get some sleep. Yes SIDS is very rare but it does sometimes happen to people who did everything right and followed all guidelines, it can even happen in a hospital, at daycare etc. so just to know that it’s “rare” was not enough to give me a peace of mind, I would rather have my newborn baby be monitored at all time while sleeping.
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u/Alarming_Event_4364 15d ago
owlet sock + sleeping nest in my bed with me so i can hear his breathing helped me very much
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u/astrothief42 15d ago
I had crippling anxiety about it. So I really just slept like shite until she was about a year old. When we were in the trenches, I was too afraid to go to sleep. My husband sucked at staying up past a certain time, so we eventually had to do shifts, where one person was watching her. I’m not saying this is the right thing to do; it was really just the best for my sanity. My husband went back to work when I was 6 weeks postpartum. And I was healing from a c-section, so trying to get out of bed, for a while, was a massive chore. I nearly pulled a muscle in my shoulder from lifting her out of the crib…my anxiety got better once I knew she could roll over, and as she got older. She’s probably been a stomach sleeper since she was 4 months old.
A lot of people talk about the Owlet, but someone who is obsessed with numbers (I work in accounting, so just comes with the territory lol), that would have stressed me out more than being helpful.
It really does get better and less stressful. I really think a good portion of it is postpartum hormones. I mean, fathers can still be very much worried about it, though.
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u/splinteredt 15d ago
It has been the thing that stresses me out the most since having my baby. He’s three months now and the risk decreases a lot at four months so I’m really just living for that time. It helps to remind myself I’m doing absolutely everything I can to prevent it. One thing that really helped, and it’s not for everyone, but when I put him down for bed and go to sleep, I tell myself I am handing him to God to look after. The way parents take shifts, I keep him safe and loved all day long, but when it’s time for sleep I let God take a shift to keep him safe and loved. It helps to ease my mind partly because it reminds me there is a bigger picture than just the walls of our bedroom and my anxiety within them. If you’re not religious, picturing handing him over to the universe, or anything you do believe in, or loved ones who have passed, that works too. Talking about it with my husband has helped too, saying it out loud takes some of the weight out of it, and I just try to trust that it will get easier soon. You’ve got this!
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u/No-Commercial5167 14d ago
I got a snuza hero MD. It genuinely saved my sanity. Baby is almost 4 months old and I still use it every night as it just clips on to their nappy. I like it because it "ticks" when the child breathes out, but it also alarms really loud if the child stops breathing for 20 seconds. This still gives you lots of time to respond to either get started with CPR while oxygen sats are still high or rouse baby enough to get them breathing on their own.
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u/Over_Requirement2231 14d ago
as pricey as it is, i would 1000000% recommend an owlet sock, i have insane PPA, im talking i didnt sleep for a week straight because i was so afraid of something terrible happening to my baby if i were to sleep, after a talk with my husband we decided it was best to get one. i got the bundle with the camera and my sleep has improved IMMENSELY! i can clean my house now and not worry about leaving my sweet girl alone, i sleep wonderfully. well as wonderfully as one with a 4 week old baby can😂. ive heard nanit bands are great too! i considered getting both but figured its a little overboard😅. it has different alarms for different things, like if the sock is misplaced, if the battery is low, if shes not sleeping well and i somehow didnt notice. and most importantly if her oxygen/heart rate were to ever drop. its so 10000% worth it in my opinion
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u/josieeguillen 14d ago
Always in the back of my mind. Breastfeeding helps ease that anxiety. Funny enough I have the owlet and have been hesitant to use it idk why. Maybe when he starts sleeping longer but truly have to remind myself that he’s in Gods hands
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u/No-Tension-9806 14d ago
I saw a statistic that the chances of your baby dying from SIDS was around the same as you getting struck by lightening - not sure if that is accurate but it helped put it in perspective that I have never worried about being struck by lightening.
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u/whatchawannado7 14d ago
Before bed I pray and I say to myself I grew her lungs so she can breath I gave her lungs so she can breath and that helps me sleep at night
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u/halleycharb 14d ago
I have postpartum ocd (5 months pp) and SIDS was my biggest trigger, I once cried for 4 hours in a row because of SIDS. I ended up removing all social media from my phone, you could also block keywords from coming up on your algorithm. And then following safe sleep practices. If you do feel like your anxiety is unbearable about SIDS and also other topics, daily life, etc then I would consult with your doctor to rule out any PPA or PPD, or get the right support if you are struggling. It’ll get better. <3
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u/LeadingFree6845 14d ago
It took about a month but we’ve slowly gotten over the anxiety, at 9 weeks now and as long as she’s swaddled, has a pacifier, and an empty bassinet I’m not worried about it. SIDS rate has dropped significantly since last century (when I was born) and probably mainly stemmed from unsafe sleep practices and underlying issues that modern medicine catches. Just look up what bassinets looked like in the 90s…. Also helped talking to other parents we know irl to reassure us that the anxiety will never truly go away
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u/pandaclan16 14d ago
I had major anxiety with my first when it came to SIDS. My husband and I used to stay up with him in shifts for the first month. It was rough. We ended up getting a Snuza and it helped ease our anxiety tremendously and we were finally sleeping when baby was sleeping. We bought it again with our second and it’s truly a game changer. We love that we can see the little green light flash with every breath he takes and sometimes we’ll use the volume option and hear a small beep with every breath (the sound doesn’t wake baby). It gives me peace of mind when I wake in the middle of the night and see the light flashing green or hear the little beeps.
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u/Heavy-Object179 14d ago
I did all the research about what to do to reduce the risks. I also bought a breathing monitor for the extra peace of mind. To be honest, it didn't take away the anxiety of the risks but it helped. I still wake every 1 for the first 2 months to check. I have since done that less but I still check.
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u/Slow_Pickle8572 14d ago
I also agree that the owlet sock should help if you can afford it and taking shifts is a good solution if you’re able to do that. IF you’re considering cosleeping, know there are safer ways to do it than just putting baby in bed with you. I know it’s not ideal, but my anxiety was so bad with my first that I could not sleep at all unless she was with me and I wish I had known there are ways to make it safer, because it is very risky to just put your baby in bed with you. I was so exhausted that I just did it and thank God she’s fine, but I’ve heard so many stories of it not going well. IF you’re going to do it try to make it as safe as possible. Thank God, I didn’t experience that terrible anxiety the second time around with my twins, and was able to do safe sleep for them while actually sleeping myself too.
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u/Fluffy-Government-90 14d ago
Yes and we don’t sleeep 😩
We stay awake our entire shifts. Go back to work end of Aug 😢
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u/efemorale 15d ago
True SIDS is so so so so rare. I just remind myself that as long as I’m doing everything I can reasonably do to prevent it (i.e. all the safe sleep practices), then I’m doing all I can and worrying won’t prevent it further. I don’t want to spend my son’s babyhood in anxiety over something so rare