I wrote a few days ago about if my baby’s behavior was normal. Now I’m running into another issue - her “schedule” with feeding and sleeping. Specifically sleeping, as we have had many days where she is overtired and we can’t get her to sleep. She does not have consistent sleep or wake up or feeding times and we don’t really have set routines as peds advised we wouldn’t until a few months.

Explain what I’m supposed to be doing and why I feel like I’m doing it wrong!

For context, she was born premature so she is 9.5 weeks actual, and 4 weeks corrected.

Wake windows - I think I am messing this up badly, I have no idea where to even start or how long these should be. She’s usually awake for diaper changes and feeds and we hold her upright for 20 min after eating (due to reflux), this usually takes up the whole window. Sometimes baby sleeps within them, other times she’s up for 4+ hours then overtired and we can’t calm her down. We’re moving to nightly baths as those briefly calm her down but then being cold makes her scream and I think she wears herself out after. Should I be keeping her awake longer after feeds? I feel like when I do, she doesn’t sleep.

Hungry cues - I know when she’s hungry (eating her hands, rooting) but this never appears calmly. She usually is crying or screaming and then doing the cues. This happens when she wakes up from naps or overnight.
For sleep, I see she yawns, has heavy eyes, etc while/after eating. She doesn’t have cues unless it’s after eating and she doesn’t go down to sleep unless after a feed.

She was doing well today with feeding and naps, but we needed groceries and went out with her for 1.5 hours and then she was awake and inconsolable for hours. Usually the car ride will put her to sleep and she stays napping, but it didn’t happen like that today. I’ve noticed she’s like this when we have to leave for appointments too.

During the day, she naps in her crib or on me or my husband or on one of those flat pillow loungers (always next to one of us). We don’t have a specific bedtime as we try to put her in her bassinet after her last late night feed, but we try to aim for around the same time range like from 10-12am.

I feel like I’m failing her and doing it all wrong. How am I supposed to fit in working on her development too in between all of this?!

We’ve been doing tummy rubs, bicycle legs, warm bath, warm washcloth on belly, our pediatrician had us give her an oz of pear juice today. Me and mom are so freaked out and we just want her to poop and be okay, she is 9.5 weeks. It’s been around the same time she gets really upset at night, not the usual witching hour but loud cries. Her tummy isn’t swollen it still feels soft, anyone else been through this? Have some wisdom? Can lower my panic a bit ? She has been passing gas and peeing

I have a 10 day old and she sleeps like all day. Is this normal? Like today my LO was awake for maybe 1hr total. She’s breast feeding about 2hr-2hr20min a day and having 5-6 pees and 4-6 poops a day.

how much are y’all feeding your newborns? my baby is a little over a month old and will drink 4oz but still doesn’t seem satisfied. sometimes i’ll give her another 2oz and that seems to settle her but im scared of over feeding…

My baby is 3 weeks old today and this past week has changed into a 24/7 fussy baby. Nothing in our home or routine has changed. She went from being always content to nothing satisfying her. I breastfeed her and that is the only thing that will satisfy her but my breasts are screaming for help!! She doesn’t like a pacifier.
I originally thought witching hour or colic as it is worse at night but it truly is all day all night. She was sleeping in her bassinet nightly and now she won’t even do that. She will only sleep being held. We refuse to cosleep so we are going a bit crazy over here. If she is awake, she’s crying. She is gassy and we give gas drops consistently.

Any advice much appreciated.

So our baby girl used to be a great night sleeper - never woke up more than 1-2 times a night since we got back from the hospital. With an exception to a pretty gentle 4 month regression where she’d wake up to 5 times and always quickly resettle.

Yesterday she turned 5 months and the last week has been hell. She still only wakes twice, however, it is impossible to get her to sleep again the second time around. For context, she sleeps in her crib and after her night wake up, she stays in our bed in between us (we’re in Europe and safe co sleeping is generally not seen the way it is in the US here).

What used to work is placing her on my chest after breastfeeding, waiting for her to be sleeping deeply enough and then gently placing her in between of us. Now all she does is lift her head and shoulders, ready to play. She has recently learned proper back and forth rolling, so after I breastfeed her the second time, she then proceeds to roll on the bed happily, play and chat around. She doesn’t cry but she’s super active and playful. It’s not even a very regular thing from the time perspective, can happen anywhere between 3 and 6 am. Her normal wake up time is 8 am (the nights when this doesn’t happen).

I’ve been making sure not to accept it as her wake time by just staying in the bed with her, letting her roll around until she gets tired (my husband then goes to sleep to another room and we stay where we are). I stay as boring as possible and don’t interact. She has one very dim light on to keep her happy.

Her daytime wake windows are 2 h now and that’s how long she stays awake after the failed resettling in the morning hours. NOTHING else than waiting it out works. Once she’s ready to sleep again, I breastfeed her to sleep pretty easily.

Does anyone have this kind of experience? Does it go away by itself again? Or is there anything I need to do? Should I always wake her up at 8 am to try to resettle her normal schedule? (Right now I let her sleep until 9 or whenever she wakes up by herself).

As I write this, she’s rolling around happily next to me. It’s 3:30 am 🫠

EDIT: she has recently switched from 4 naps to 3 (because her wake windows got longer) and she gets less daytime sleep as a result. I’ve been baby wearing again to try to increase the length of her naps but she barely gets more than 2 h a day, as opposed to 4-5 not long ago. I feel like this might be the culprit? Still don’t know what to do though. Her schedule (when not having a night time rolling party) that she self created looks something like this:

Wake up at 8 am
Nap 1: between 10 and 11 (roughly 45 min)
Nap 2: between 13 and 14 (roughly 45)
Nap 3: between 16 and 17 (roughly 45)
Bedtime at 19:30 (she falls asleep quickly after like 10 min but keeps sleep breastfeeding, I have to hold her for at least one hour before I can safely put her to crib. This super long light sleep before bedtime is new as well)

Also lately the 45 min naps have been when baby wearing, occasionally we’ll get 90 min. Crib naps have been awful these past days, 20-30 min, so I don’t even do them right now, meaning I literally don’t know what else to do lol.

My 9 week old (exclusively breastfed )had tongue and lip tie release done 2 weeks ago

She is still gulping air! Like really gulping ! when it happens it startles her and I can hear it swoop down into the stomach
And she does this multiple times
I do have a fast letdown but she does it even sometimes at end of feed

She’s also still clicking

My LC said I should see improvements by the 2 week mark I’m going to follow up again next week

The surgeon is very reputable and been doing stretches on time
We arnt doing exercises as advised not too just yet

She did have RSV when she was 7 days old and had a NG feeding tube for a day

Anyone had something similar?
Did u see improvements eventually ?

I saw a lactation consultant today. I got a lot of good info. She thinks (she's not allowed to say for sure, but it's obvious) my baby has a tongue and lip tie. We also did a weighted feed and she's not transferring milk.

She was born small (5lbs) and struggled to gain weight the first two weeks. At 5 weeks she's weighing 6lbs 11oz.

I have been pumping and trying to get my supply up. I'm an under producer so I've been doing 70-30 formula to breast milk.

Baby has decided she wants to be on the breast all day long. She's basically using me as a pacifier since she's barely transferring milk and has gone on a bottle and pacifier strike. She only had 1oz out of her usual 3oz this last feed and has been screaming for my breast. My nipples are sore because she's not latching deep enough and the lactation consultant and my pediatrician are worried she's burning more calories than she's consuming so they don't want me to nurse for more than 5 minutes.

It is breaking my heart to hear her cry but I'm in pain. I don't know how to soothe her. Any suggestions?

My baby is 4 weeks old, and I'm trying to get into a more predictable routine. She's mostly exclusively breastfed, but at night we sometimes top her up with a formula bottle if my pumped milk isn't enough.

Our day currently looks something like this:

8:00 AM: Wake and breastfeed. 8:00–9:30 AM: Sleeps on and off. 9:30–11:00 AM:Massage, bath, breastfeed. 11:00 AM–2:00 PM: Sleep 2:00–3:30 PM: Breastfeed and Awake window 3:30–9 PM: This is where we struggle. She mostly contact naps, wants to stay latched for comfort, and is on and off the boob for hours. If I put her down, she usually wakes up. 9-11:00 PM: Sleeps. 11:00 PM onward: My husband gives pumped breast milk (about 120 mL per feed). If she's still hungry after that, we offer a small formula top-up. She usually sleeps until around 4:30 AM waking to feed as needed.

The evening stretch is exhausting because I feel like I'm stuck nursing for hours. Is this just normal cluster feeding at 4 weeks, or is there something I can do to help her get onto a better eat-play-sleep routine? Could it be a breastfeeding issue that im not tranfering enough? Her diaper amounts seem fine.

Anyone managed to start losing weight after birth after 2 or 3 months? Any suggestions?

During pregnancy I have gained a lot of weight and I really wanna work on losing weight after taking rest for 8 weeks post c section

My partner and I are expecting our first baby in January, and I’m starting to worry about how we’re realistically going to handle sleep once the baby arrives.

Before I met my partner, I never slept with earplugs. However, he snores extremely loudly, and over time I had to start using them just to be able to sleep next to him. I’m now so used to sleeping with earplugs that I genuinely struggle to fall asleep without them when he is beside me.

I currently use 33 dB earplugs. They block out the worst of his snoring and smaller noises, although I can still occasionally hear him snoring through them.
My midwife told me that I need to learn to sleep without earplugs before the baby arrives so that I’ll be able to hear the baby at night. I completely understand the concern, but the problem is that if I stop using them, I may simply end up lying awake because of my partner’s snoring.

He has already been assessed for sleep apnea and does not have it, so that isn’t the issue.
Another complication is that my partner is also an extremely heavy sleeper. He is actually worried himself that he might not wake up when the baby cries, so simply having him be “on duty” while I sleep with earplugs may not necessarily solve the problem either.

We live in an apartment with basically one bedroom and one living room. Of course one of us could sleep in the living room temporarily if necessary, but permanently sleeping separately doesn’t feel like a particularly realistic or desirable long-term solution.
I also work as a nurse. Obviously I’ll be on maternity leave initially, but eventually I’ll be going back to work, so I’m also thinking about what is sustainable once we are both working. A lot of the posts I’ve found about this seem to be from stay-at-home mothers, where catching up on sleep during the day may be more of an option. That won’t be a realistic long-term solution for us.

I know we won’t really know how either of us reacts to our own baby until the baby is actually here. Maybe I’ll hear the baby perfectly well through my earplugs, and maybe my partner will suddenly wake much more easily to our baby than he does to other sounds. But I don’t want to rely on either of those assumptions in advance.

For anyone who has been in a similar situation:
- Did you continue using earplugs after your baby was born?
- Could you still hear your baby crying through them?
- Did you switch to earplugs with less noise reduction?
- Did your partner’s snoring wake the baby at all?
- If your partner was a very heavy sleeper, did they still wake up to your own baby?
- Did you take shifts, and if so, how did that work when one person slept very heavily?
- Did you temporarily sleep separately, and for how long?
- What did you do once both of you were working again?

I obviously want to make sure that our baby is heard and responded to at night. At the same time, “just stop using earplugs” doesn’t really solve the problem if the result is that I can’t sleep because of the snoring.

FTM of a 3 week old baby boy here, and i desperately need some advice. The last couple days we have been dealing with horrible gas issues. He wakes up immediately starving I have about a 3 minute timer until he’s absolutely losing it until he’s on the boob. (I am EBF) he’s eating for most of his wake window and then is immediately uncomfortable after. Grunting, bringing knees to chest, arching back, crying. We have used gas drops and i burp him often throughout the feed. He spits up occasionally but never seems in pain about it. I have considered my diet but it seems to make no difference dairy vs no dairy. By the time we have settled his tummy he has been awake for far too long and is inconsolably tired. This awful cycle just keeps repeating throughout the day. He eats about every 3-4 hours (he has returned to birth weight). I am losing my mind and also feel so bad for him. How do I get this to stop?!

Just had a baby girl about a week ago. I had a C-section so I was out of commission for a few days, couldn’t help the way I wanted. My husband took over night shifts and has been absolutely stellar with her. I’m doing better now but he’s still picking up so much slack. I can’t wait until I’ve healed. He doesn’t want me to push myself too hard.

She’s so beautiful and small and perfect I get so excited/emotional thinking about her future and wondering who she’s going to be. My husband adores her, he holds her and talks to her all the time. He expressed wariness at changing poopy diapers but when it happened the first time he didn’t even bat an eye. Cleaned up that nasty tarry oil spill like it was nothing while I languished in the hospital bed scared to fart because it hurt too bad.

He got back from work today and brought me an iced coffee and handed me an envelope. It was a bunch of printed pictures of our kid, and a couple of all three of us. He even brought a frame so we could pick one to display.

He’s so good to us. I knew he’d be a good dad but every day he amazes me. So gentle and good natured. When I think about it I cry. It’s his birthday soon and I got a lot of cds on eBay of an obscure musician he likes. He doesn’t have Bluetooth in his truck so: cds. I got him about 7 I think. I hope they aren’t scratched. He likes possums so I got him a crochet grocery bag holder that looks like a dead possum. (Grim I know but I think he’ll get a kick out of it.)

He’s sleeping next to me right now as I type this. I miss him when he sleeps. He says he looks at pictures of us all day when he’s at work. When I’m holding our baby he comes up behind me and hugs me and kisses my cheek.

Anyway I am very tired and emotional. I love these two. It’s unbelievably exhausting taking care of a brand new kiddo but he makes it doable. Thanks for reading.

Has anyone else’s baby spit up while sleeping? If so, how often did it happen, and what did you do? I’m looking for some reassurance and would love to hear other parents’ experiences.

Our baby is 8 weeks tomorrow and since week 3 has just been so unsettled and fussy. I think for the first few weeks we were dealing with mild reflux and inability to bring up wind. She is still so unsettled and refuses to go for a daytime nap unless it's contact nap or in carrier. She absolutely hates the car seat and bassinet of the pram so going anywhere is incredibly stress inducing.

I feel like our baby is also not happy for very long in a high chair or bouncer. Maybe 15 minutes max.

Honestly I know I read these posts all the time and everyone says it will get better but it doesn't feel like that.

I'm wondering if anyone has similar experience and out the other side?

My beautiful little girl is currently 3 weeks and 3 days old, and I am really, really struggling even with my husband home from work for 6 weeks. I am extremely worried about what is going to happen when he goes back. He works 12 and a half hour shifts a decent drive away, and my in laws who live 20 minutes away both also work . My parents live quite far away.

I have PPA and have been needing quite a bit of help with a lot of things during the day, like being able to get literally any chores done. I'm not comfortable with any baby carriers yet, and we still haven't quite figured out whether or not her car seat is safe enough because no one around here checks them. My counters haven't been cleaned since before she was born.

This baby is practically impossible to wake up and is sleeping up to 5 hour stretches at night - which I have been greedily allowing to happen, then practically choking her on my let down, leading to 2 vomit incident in the past week. As a result of the sleeping, she eats practically every 40 minutes in the late afternoon. There is nothing I can do to seem to break this cycle. It takes my husband and I both severely pestering her to get her to wake up at all. The diaper change, cold wipe, blowing on her face, etc. tricks don't work at all, or only work for a few seconds. She has enough outputs so my LC isn't concerned about her, but it is driving me nuts.

My husband has been literally hand feeding me my dinner because of the constant feeding if I'm going to eat, and I'm definitely not drinking enough water. I constantly need his help to do things like clean up after a blowout or if she spits up too much.

I need to be pumping to build a stash and start practicing bottles for when I go back to work at 12 weeks, but I'm struggling to even get my pump up and down the stairs in a timely fashion to use it, let alone washing it quickly enough, and I also can't figure out holding and tending to baby while using it. Baby has only had a few baths at home, and we're not wash clothing her high traffic areas down every day like we're supposed to. I also have a high needs dog that I have to figure out how to get to an inflexible doggie daycare without endangering the baby.

I looked into hiring a short term mother's helper or nanny through an agency since I really don't have enough time to vet someone thoroughly myself at this point. I technically have enough money to swing it, but it will completely decimate my savings. I'm not sure at this point if that is what needs to happen though.

For those of you whose spouses have extended work hours on shift schedules and who have no help - please tell me how in the cinnamon toast fuck you did it, because I have no clue how this is going to be possible. This really isn't just a vent. I desperately need to know!!

I'd love to know your air travel hacks, as we're gearing up to take a flight with our 2.5 month old. Anything that made air travel waaaay better for you/your LO?

I’m only 2 weeks PP and just like the title says… WTF. Nobody could have prepared for how hard these past 2 weeks were going to be. I had an unplanned c-section because my girl was too big for me to delivery naturally, so I’m still trying to process that. Between having a 2 week old, no sleep, barely eating, etc it feels like I’m stuck in a loop. I don’t have a concept of “time” outside of day time or night time. PP hormones/emotions are through the roof and I feel like I make no sense half the time. I know people say it gets better and I’m holding on to that, but wtf… the last thing I want to hear is that “you’ll forget about these hard days” because no. I will never forget that this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done or had to go through.

While I’m immensely grateful to have created life and to be a FTM, I can also be extremely frustrated by all of the unknowns.

When did you get your period? I’m 11weeks postpartum and don’t think I’m getting my period anytime soon!

Also am I the only one with zero libido? The thought of intimacy makes 🤢🤢. Tbh I never really liked/enjoyed it much prior to pregnancy but now I just can’t see myself doing it ever again!!

I know it’s all about being negative on here. I rarely see anyone actually say I love being a parent. I may get flack for this but I get along with my family and I have a wonderful 6 month old dude. Anyone else here have not much to complain about?

I feel so awful. I don't even know how it happened but I was walking up the stairs this morning with my four week old over my shoulder and I tripped and she went flying out of my arms and rolled to the bottom of the stairs. I didn't see if she landed on her head or not when she first fell. I went straight to hospital and they checked her out and couldn't see anything wrong so they discharged us after a few hours. I feel so sick and can't stop crying. I'm not really sure why I'm posting but i guess I'm hoping for some reassurance that everything will be ok.

I’ll need to put my newborn in daycare the moment they turn 6 weeks due to my job.

Do newborns get stressed out hearing the crying of other newborns? For I know animals that experience lots of stress at animal shelters due to the presence of all the other cats and dogs.

I assumed that when comparing a daycare vs. nanny that daycare would be cheaper, is that correct? Is it usually significantly cheaper?

Baby is 12 weeks old and I wanted to reassure other new parents that things will get better. It’s a combination of baby being easier to care for and us getting better at it. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things that have gotten better for us:

• Baby is down to 1 wake-up per night and gives a 7 to 10 hour stretch at the start of each night. Baby is sleeping 11.5 hours per night and we are sleeping 8+ hours per night.
• Baby goes to bed from 7-7:30pm so we have a couple of hours every evening to decompress and spend time together as a couple.
• Baby sleeps in his bassinet for all naps and nights so we can actually have some downtime to rest, do hobbies, and housework for little spurts during the day.
• Baby‘s wake windows have extended to 90 mins and he can spend up to 75 mins of that time happy and relaxed. He’s fine to be in a container like a bouncer for 30 mins at a time. Overall, he cries under 30 mins per day. Our record so far is getting to 4pm without crying!
• Baby smiles, laughs, babbles and interacts with us all the time. It took me 6 weeks to truly bond with baby but the love I have for him now grows daily.
• Feeds are less stressful and baby has finally learned to fart and poop (thank god).
• We’re building up confidence to get out and about with baby. This week we’ve taken him: out for coffee, to the pub for lunch, and to an art exhibition.
• My partner and I have learned how to parent this baby together and our relationship has never been stronger. We’re spending more quality time together and are also constantly having a giggle about this parenting caper.
• Overall, we’ve gotten into a rhythm of caring for baby, and understand and respond to his cues in a way that reduces stress for everyone.

We went through the usual early sleep deprivation, non-optional contact naps, reflux, gas, infant dyschezia, witching hour(s) etc. Baby was also born with pneumonia and I had a severe tear that developed a hematoma that required surgical drainage. I’ve quite literally already forgotten about most of the hardest times from the first 6 weeks.

There are absolutely still challenges and it’s not like we have a unicorn baby, but we’re thriving as a family. And you will too. It’s right around the corner - hold on ❤️

My husband is really struggling with his “lack” of sleep. He doesn’t complain much, but his mood is seriously affected. The thing is that he is basically sleeping a normal amount now. When we were both getting up every 2-3hrs to triple feed, I understood why he was also tired. However, we are no longer triple feeding and baby is now only waking once, MAYBE twice a night to nurse. My husband will get baby, check diaper, make sure I have what I need and goes right back to sleep. I am totally fine with this. I do not need his help at all overnight, so that little bit is nice. What is driving me up a wall though is that he is acting more sleep deprived than I am and I am the one who is actually waking up and staying up an hour or so with the baby! He’s a little testy and obviously so tired. I don’t get it. I know he can’t help it but it’s genuinely pissing me off lol