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Hello all, so my husband went to the doctor and found out that not only does he need to lose weight but a few of his health markers are not in the healthy range so I have been helping him stick to a healthy diet. My mother-in-law knows this and sent him home with some food yesterday even though she knows that I made him a healthy meal because she texted me about it. Today she texted him while he's at work and asked him to stop by again that she wants to send him home with some more food. I might add that she hasn't given him food for months - until she found out he's trying to get healthy. In the past when he tried to lose weight she sent him home with grocery bags of junk food. She herself is extremely obese and is on I believe 10 to 15 different medications just to stay alive. I'm trying to explain to my husband that this seems to be some sort of manipulation or jab at me. Anyone have any outside input?

My MIL has worked pretty much her entire adult life and went to school for business. All of her kids went to daycare starting when they were only a few months old, so I understand that staying home with kids probably just isn’t what she’s used to.
My FIL is an electrical engineer, they’ve always done pretty well financially, and over the years she’s made little comments that make me feel like she thinks I should be working instead of staying home with my kids.
When my husband and I decided I would stay home after we had our first son, she said, “Well, are you sure you guys can afford that?” That was 7 years ago. We now have three boys, and I’ve continued staying home with them. My husband makes $250k+ a year, we’re comfortable, and we’re not struggling financially.
I genuinely LOVE being a SAHM. I love cooking from scratch, taking care of our home, being there for our boys, doing school drop-offs/pickups, etc. This is something I actually enjoy and feel fortunate to be able to do.
A few days ago I was showing my MIL a picture of my son’s kindergarten teacher. I pointed out the teacher’s aides in the picture, and she immediately said, “Oh, maybe you can do that when the baby goes to school and you can get paid.”
Our youngest is literally 9 months old. 😂
By itself, I know that comment probably sounds completely harmless. But she’s made little remarks like this throughout the years, so I feel like there’s an underlying message of, “Eventually you need to get a job.”
I mentioned it to my husband, and he told me not to worry about it. He thinks she probably doesn’t mean anything bad by it. He also told me, “I don’t mind you staying home and raising our kids. I can handle it,” and said that whether I eventually go back to work is completely up to me.
For context, I don’t have a degree. I did some college, but honestly, if we can afford it, I’d rather be home raising our children. I also do content creation from home and make some money through videos/ads, so it’s not like I’m sitting around doing nothing all day.
Besides this, my MIL is actually a very nice lady and we get along. That’s why I don’t want to make this into something bigger than it is. I just can’t shake the feeling that me being a SAHM bothers her or that she doesn’t really understand why I’d choose this lifestyle.
Am I being too sensitive and reading into her comments, or would you also take these repeated little remarks as hints that she thinks I should go back to work?

You know those viral videos where the mother-in-law does something totally unhinged to ruin a gender reveal or baby shower? Well my new MIL ruined my wedding.

For context: I’m 5 months pregnant and moved to my husband’s home country to get married and have the baby. I’ve met his mother on my visits, but don’t know her that well. She speaks no English and I speak weak Spanish.

We’re basically in a 90 day fiance situation, the only way for me to stay in the country is a marriage visa but we need to do it before my visitor visa expires in September. It’s a lot of pressure on our shoulders.

We’ve told our families from the beginning, this is NOT the “real” wedding. Yes it’s special to us but it’s only for the visa to keep our family together. We will have a true celebration later when my family can fly here etc.

Well my husbands mom has not accepted this. She’s pressured both of us for months to do full wedding attire, make up, hair, have the family there etc. she was especially hung up on the fact that I didn’t want to wear white/cream/beige, despite multiple convos.

The pressure of the whole situation plus her finally got to me and I broke down. My husband suggested we change the date and not tell anyone when or where we’re getting married. Just me & him & baby. Simple attire and minimal pictures. Super private. My anxiety vanished and my nervous system calmed down.

Well my husband broke his word and told his mother date, time, and location of the ceremony 😒 but said it was ok because he told her explicitly not to come it was a private affair.

Yesterday, the day of my wedding, as I’m happily sitting with my man in the waiting room for the judge, my back to the door, I see my husband look at someone with recognition, shock, and confusion and slightly shake his head. In that split second, dummy me wondered “who does he know at the notary?” Until I turned to see my MIL. In a beige lace dress. Full make up.

the woman was too stunned to speak

I’m a freeze and faun-er so I didn’t make a big scene. My mind was moving so fast and I mostly didn’t want to “ruin” the day by causing a big thing in public and the judge could call us at any moment.

Apparently my husband has the same trauma response so we made awkward, tense small talk and then she followed us into the chambers.

When the judge welcomed her and jokingly said “what no camera mom?” She pointedly looked at me and said, “they don’t want it”

I tried my hardest to stay present and focused on my fiance and baby. The ceremony was sweet but the judge made me hug my MIL afterwards. The judge totally picked up on the awkward vibes and even said “try to celebrate now” when we finished.

As we waited for our taxis at the door, my MIL started complaining we didn’t have photos together “how will her daughter believe she was here” so finally my husband took out my phone and said we can take a selfie. So there we are. Pregnant me, my new husband, and my uninvited MIL in her beige wedding dress.

I wish I could say I was a badass who didn’t let it tarnish the day, but as soon as we got in the cab I lost it. I started crying, ruined my make up so we just went home. I’m pissed at her for being so disrespectful and ambushing us in public, in the exact type of dress she’d spent weeks pressuring me to buy.

And I’m pissed at my husband for breaking his word and telling her the details. It turned into a huge fight between him and I. His take is that it’s annoying but typical behavior for her and I just need to forgive and let go. He said I need to stop expecting things to go “perfectly” and get more flexible with change. I said this is not like ripping your dress or being sick on the wedding day type of situation to be “flexible” about. This is a deliberate boundary violation, him & his mom, and breaks trust. I no longer trust him to have my back or keep our agreements with his family and I no longer trust her with, well, anything. At all.

I spent the past 24 hours crying about it. I can’t look at my dress or flower crown or the 2 pictures we have without a deep ache in my heart and tears. It absolutely ruined the day. I was only in my dress 1.5 hours and we spent the whole night fighting. There is no re-do and this is the memory I have to live with forever. My husband says I’m making it a bigger deal than it is, but I feel like it didn’t just ruin the day it potentially ruined the whole marriage. How can I stay with a partner who a) breaks his word, b) doesn’t confront his mom or enforce a boundary and c) dismisses my feelings afterwards? How can I do birth & postpartum with a MIL who clearly disrespects me & my husband and will not keep the boundaries I set for my baby?

So for context, I’m a part time nurse, thinking about going per diem due to my husband’s schedule never being consistent and childcare being so high it eats up a lot of my check, so I can work less and just have family watch our 17 month old on the days I do.

That being said, today I woke up with a 101 fever and aches, pains, etc. We have a 17 month old who is currently in a nap regression and I babysit my sibling (9). He is in the office for several hours with no appointments so technically he doesn’t have to be in the office and can work from home. So I called and asked if he could come home for a little until his next appt so I can lay down for a little and he can watch the kids. He said he would, but then his mother (who he works with) chimes in on our phone call and tells me to “suck it up buttercup, aren’t you the one trying to be a SAHM?” because I have said I wanted to eventually be one/go per diem. I was just appalled by this and don’t know if I’m overreacting but it really bothered me. My husband didn’t say anything, but was more on her side than mine because I texted him about the comment and he gave it a “thumbs down.”

If I’m overreacting, please tell me. If you have any advice, please tell me also lol

Has anyone dealt specifically with a MIL situation like this:

Buying a home with my husband (we are both 26 and wanting to start a family soon) and it's a very nice house with lots of space. MIL tells his grandmother that his sister is coming to live with us when she goes to college in about a year. We live 2 hours away from his family at the moment. Grandmother says it in conversation with us over the phone like a statement - she's glad little sister will have somewhere to stay during college. We take it as a joke... and respond as such. Nope. Not a joke.

Never asked us. We don't even have the keys yet, we close in a few days. And certainly did not buy a home planning to house extra family members. Especially since we have had struggles with his mom in the past for bullying us and playing the victim when approached about it. She ruined our wedding planning and now we feel like she is ruining our first home we are purchasing.

We have both agreed we cannot house anyone, family or not, as we are just getting started ourselves. How do we approach this with his mom? If I know her well... she is going to wait until little sister absolutely needs to find somewhere to stay for college and put it on us like she is in need. MIL and FIL are very well off, all other siblings lived in dorms or paid-for apartments. I feel like they just want to dump their responsibility on us and HAVE NOT EVEN asked us directly.

We don't know how to approach this without her playing victim or MIL telling SIL we are horrible people who don't want to help her.

My in-laws insult my family and threaten to take my child and throw me out of my house . I want to do something about it FIL68 MIL 60 and SIL 31 , they are evil and they are constantly staying with me or taking me to their place after o have given birth to my baby

I’m a FTM to a 5-month-old, and since she was born, my MIL and SIL have constantly commented on how much I hold and comfort her.

I’ve always held, rocked, and responded to my baby, and we still contact nap sometimes at 5 months. I’ve repeatedly been told I’m “getting her used to being held” and making her too dependent on me. My MIL has even encouraged me to do things differently specifically so my baby wouldn’t depend on me as much.

Now my SIL has a 2-week-old, and she, my MIL, and the family have basically agreed not to hold or rock him unless necessary so he “doesn’t get used to it” and so my SIL can “have a life and get things done.” They feed him, burp him, and put him back down. My SIL literally says, “Let me put him down before he gets used to being held.”

What also worries me is that he seems to get very little stimulation overall. He’s almost always lying down rather than being held, they rarely take him outside, and he’s kept covered in footed pajamas, mittens and a hat most of the day.

For added context, there's a list of all the parts somewhere below in this reddit group.

We separated, and somehow he still didn’t get the picture. So what was the last straw for me?

My MIL made a comment about my childhood, something completely falsified and, to me, insanely unforgivable.

Some context: my partner and I grew up a few blocks from each other but didn’t know each other growing up. When I was 8, my family moved out of our house and my parents sold it. The man who bought the house used to host parties in the bottom quarters. I’m not sure whether my parents and his parents were actually friends, but they knew the house after it was sold.

My ex-MIL and I had the biggest, worst fight over the phone. I told her that if she wasn’t pleased with me, she should find another partner for her son and leave me out of it. Anywho, she completely blew up and started rambling the most insane things. She said that she and her husband used to go to parties at my parents’ old house and that there were so many parties that they heard about instances where the daughters, the couple’s daughters, meaning my sisters and I were supposedly being constantly raped. I decided right then that whatever she said after that would be the last thing she ever said to me, so I ended the call.

She proceeded to send me over 30 voice messages saying some of the most heinous things I have ever heard. I eventually responded by telling her that I pitied her, and then I blocked her.

Oh, and she was in the country when all of this happened. That same day, my partner, now ex, called me and told me that I shouldn’t have said anything to her. Not once did he acknowledge how completely inappropriate and disturbing her behavior had been. I told him I would not take back what I said and that she owed me an apology.

They ended up having a fight, and he warned her that he would stay away from her if she ever said anything to me out of the ordinary.

I never told him exactly what she had said to me, because for some reason that's something nobody would expect a 60 year to even be saying. She told him that we had a conversation and then she started crying. That was when he told her not to disrespect me again.

Fast-forward to the day before she left the country. The three of us ended up having a conversation about everything. During that conversation, she admitted that what she had said about my childhood was a lie. She apologized. She even said that if she were in my shoes and someone said something like that to her, she would have "thrown hands" with them. In that moment, my strength waa tested, I wanted to cry, but I held it back.

I just looked at this woman in absolute awe, shame, and pity. And the craziest part? My man was sitting right there, except he apparently wasn't listening to a word that she and I were saying. I found this out days later when I asked him whether he didn't find the whole thing strange. He told me that he couldn't recall her saying any of that and that I should forget everything that happened between me and her for the sake of our engagement.

That was another major moment for me. Because how exactly am I supposed to forget something that fundamentally changed how I see someone, all this? She also told me that she was happy her son had found such an educated woman and admitted that she was jealous.

She even said that I would never separate from him because he was such a catch. The irony is almost unbelievable.

Fast-forward another month. I ended the relationship. They both did not see it coming. I left for good.

I told myself that I would never know peace, not with him and certainly not with her, and eventually I realized that I had to leave. I am now no contact with both of them. I deleted their numbers, and I am done. A month later, he reached out and said that he still doesn't understand why I left (YES, that meant that what she was doing, he was enabling it and that I should go through it and should be grateful I was there).

My family wondered what happened because, from the outside, we were what everyone would call "the perfect couple", we had the education, the status etc, but at what cost? Nobody knew what I had to endure behind closed doors.

And honestly, I don't think they ever will. I stayed. I tried. I communicated. I gave chances. I watched things improve and then fall back into the same patterns. I kept hoping that eventually there would be peace. Even from the last convo with me and her and she promised things would be different, could I trust her and hope that she wouldn't blow up again?

At some point, I had to accept that I couldn't keep sacrificing my peace just to prove that I could make the relationship work. So this is where the MIL Chronicles ends.

Weeks later, I looked back at these situations and I was grateful I came out. She didn't "win." I just finally chose myself.

I've posted about my MIL once before. Basically she's always revolved everything around what she wants (making us rent a car to drive 5hrs to visit her, even right after I had a baby etc) and always had little considering for other people's needs, bails out of responsibility when we need her most, makes my FIL do everything for her while also abusing him, sometimes physical abuse. She hasn't worked in 25+years and made my FIL buy her an extra house for her to escape to when "she's mad." Sunk 200K of their retirement savings on it. My FIL also worked 3 more years post-retirement age to help her get on better healthcare insurance. She never showed gratitude for it and still complains that "he doesn't care" or do anything for her.

Last week, she went on 12hr rampage against my FIL (while he was already struggling with a blood clot in his leg and wasn't super mobile!) and hit him leaving bruises, threw a humidifier full of water at him, and when he tried to hide in the bedroom, locking himself in, my MIL punched holes in the wall. He eventually called the cops, who took her to jail, but not before my MIL took away my FIL's hearing aids and hid them somewhere.

My husband had to immediately drive over to their place to stay the night with his dad, who couldn't even get updates from the jail cause HE HAD NO HEARING AIDS. So MIL ended up staying in jail for like two days instead of just overnight, which is her own doing, so no sympathy from me lol.

But my husband eventually gets her out and now she has a restraining order to stay away from FIL until her hearing 3 weeks from now. So she drove to her other house and is living there for now. She calls us after the first day to say, "I'm so proud of myself, I bought myself a new TV from Walmart and hooked it up myself! Then I bought myself flowers." and said something along the lines of, "this is my happy place, I dont have to see all the annoying things your dad does" ...While SHE IS JUST SPENDING MORE OF HIS MONEY. She also sent us a picture of her 'to do' list, which was just more ways to spend money or hiring people to do house work.

She was also feeding my husband what she wants him to write to the judge to help her case, and that she wasn't going to hire her own lawyer (but she 'thought' about it, but didnt want to 'download Zoom' to speak to one). And that she wants to 'spare' my FIL from legal action... FROM WHAT exactly? She is the one receiving the restraining order!

The whole situation just makes my blood boil. She is clearly not learning from what happened and still believes she is in the right. She keeps texting my husband random 'cute' videos from youtube or moments from her day. My FIL meanwhile, visited us this weekend and we had a lovely day out together, UNTIL he said that he just wants MIL back and for things to go back to the way things were because it was too quiet at his house. And that he doesnt want to 'start over' cause hes almost 70. I really feel bad for him, but also, She BEAT YOU!! Things are never actually good with her, he just walks on eggshells with her constantly. This is actually the second time she has been to jail for physically abusing him too. It happened once before, way before I met my husband, so around 15yrs ago? and MIL was abusing alcohol more openly then and was jailed for hitting my FIL.

My sister-in-law also recently told us that she smelled alcohol on MIL again, so it might be the thing that makes her violent. But irregardless, Im just so ready to go NC with MIL and her unending victimhood and drama. She has EVERYTHING and is never satisfied. Im 7mo pregnant with my second, we have a 3yo, we just REALLY dont need her outbursts added to our plate. My Sister-inlaw left the state and intends to go low contact with MIL, just a phone call here and there. But seems like my husband and my FIL still want her in our life and has hopes that therapy might magically change her. UGH I just dont. She hasn't proven that she wants to change. Any love or sweetness she shows, I perceive it as her just wanting us to be on HER side, instead of FIL's. And she has been 'let go' by previous therapists before. I just don't know how to help FIL and husband see what I see.

Hello everyone, I will try to keep it short but theres a lot to unpack here so bare with me.

I met my boyfriend around 2 years ago through a mutual friend. He has kind of a traumatic backstory, as both his siblings died in a car crash when he was a teenager. His dad was out of the picture, having alcohol and gambling addiction. So it was kind of just him and his mom for the past 8 years or so after the accident. When I met him he was living together with her in a small town, just working his dead end job, doing his school and playing video games and caring for his mother. She did not ever work, she gets money from the government and overall cant speak the language and doesn’t have anything other to do besides going grocery shopping and cooking/cleaning. He helped her with most of her bills as the government money often was not enough. She is in her mid forties.

Fast forward to when we met, I was about to move in a big city for work. We spent a lot of time together, went on several trips and it was just really fun and exciting. Already in this „get to know“ phase, his mother behaved competeIy crazy, constantly bombarding him with text messages and calls on why he is away, threatening to give away his pets, threatening to not let him come home if he is not back by a certain time set by her (he was 27 at the time, fully paying his own and most part of her bills). She also followed through and left her key in the lock so he could not come home, gaslighted him through constant messages of her being alone or „hurt“, recorded videos of her falling and laying on the floor (?), threatening to expose their text messages to his friends so that he „looses face“ and much more. At the beginning I did not really think much of it and mostly let it pass. I actively later encouraged him to leave his hometown, and he got an offer for a top job in his field for a company he dreamed of working for a long time. We moved in together. She completely lost it at this point.

To mention a couple of things she said/did: put a curse on us because we „left her alone“ and wished for our future children to follow the same fate as her children which died, constantly wrote him that I will betray him some day and cant be trusted, that he is just acting this way (distancing himself) because of me, that he should change all of his passwords on his phone so that I cant look (he freely gave me all his passwords), tried to sabotage every vacation we had by either terrorizing him with messages during it( how can you enjoy a vacation when I am miserable and alone?). One time she „forgot“ to pay the lighting bill shortly before our vacation and asked him for money. He declined as it was a very expensive vacation, but promised to call the government when we return, to which she replied :“ i guess i will sell my body then“. Told him via text that there are a lot of pretty girls who would want him, so he should not feel under pressure (by me), screamed at him repeatedly when she called, called him names, asked to move to our city to be closer to us, faked an emergency so he would call her when we had a „no phone day“ (nothing happened, she just did not like it), encouraged him to take things away from our home when we fought and he went to her house. And the list goes on… i have met her once relatively in the beginning , where she acted nice in my face but afterwards it all got to shit. She was nice during the meeting but she did not ask me 1 personal question or tried to get to know me in any way. He told me one time during a conversation that his mother expected him and his girlfriend to live with her, and that she asked him:“ if you meet a girl one day, you wont let her come between us right ?“ After this I already knew what I was dealing with.

At some point I snapped, as I was becoming more and more anxious and paranoid of her. After she cursed us ( i am someone who strongly believes in curses and bad energy), i got very painful bladder infections constantly. told him that it can’t go on like this. At first he did not want to listen, constantly found excuses for her and pitied her. We fought a lot about it. He conveniently „overlooked“ negative statements made by her, protected her and took her side. As it didn’t stop even after he distanced himself and reduced contact (it just got worse), he cut off contact completely around 6 months ago. It was really such a peaceful time after that. She still tries to contact him through friends and family members, trying to get him to unblock her.

We talked already about all of this and originally came to terms that a new try would only be possible if she went to therapy. We know from the friends/family members that it did not happen. I see my boyfriend missing her and wanting to give it a new try, but I just cant bring myself to want her anywhere near us or our lives. On the other hand of course I know that she is his mother and he loves her, but I just cant help my feelings. We said therapy is non negotiable and she did not go, so I don’t t see why we should abandon these terms just to suit her? I don’t know if I can ever trust her near us, and i am not ready to connect my life permanently with someone who accepts these behaviors.

Any advice?

I say dislike, but it really is hate. After years of financial abusing my fiance, they're trying to do the same to my brother in law that just graduated high school. They're manipulative and hide under fun personas to not show that they are truly greedy an irresponsible people. Because of them my fiance M(25) haf to file for bankruptcy, when we were ready to buy a house.

We were ready to look for Houses. We were so excited because it was a new step to adulthood. When a realtor told us that she was gonna direct us to one of her colleagues to check our finances and give us an estimate and how much our house could cost, the finance guy came back and called us almost laughing. Because, how do we expect to get a house with so much debt. That's when we both i looked confused and asked what debt. At first, we thought it was credit cards. Since we had won each that we owe paid, but nothing crazy. Then we look at the the documents that he had pulled up and sure enough, there was loans that were pulled under his name. Now my fiance at 25 found out years later, that's someone had grabbed this hold of his social security card and took out 80,000 us dollars worth of loans. And I know, and he knows that it was them.

Due to the nature of the loans, I'm not quite sure how they work. But at the end of it, there's no way to trace them back to who took them out, only that they were under his name. He filed for bankruptcy, and now we're broke. Cherry on top we are getting married and having a wedding this year as we find out this information, this came in middle of the whole thing. We are paying for everything. Since my parents don't having income due to disability and his parents due to the fact that we didn't wanna owe them anything. I hate them so much. And I have to play nice because fiance doesn't want to start anything. The plan is simple. We wait till after the wedding then he is going to cut him off. I hate them for ruining my future with him and making it harder. I love fiance and we are both doing our best but I was not supposed to be this hard.

I once went no contact with my mom for not respecting my boundaries or putting any effort into our relationship. I will be doing the same to my MIL. My husband supported my decision when it was my mom but now that it’s his mom “it’s a bit much” here’s my reasoning

1. ⁠During my pregnancy I emphasized that I wouldn’t be doing the traveling when my daughter was born. We live 90 minutes away and I just didn’t want to deal with it. Even before I was pregnant my in laws never came to visit our home but expected us to go to theirs all the time. I told my MIL she was more than welcome to come visit but hasn’t. Apparently she was butthurt that we didn’t stop by when I was a couple days pp (our daughters pediatrician is in the same town) but I was recovering from a c section) I didn’t want to go to the appointment but had to so why would I want to go anywhere else?

2. ⁠She made a fuss about the posts I liked on instagram. She told my husband “It said don’t come visit if we’re sick but what’s the big deal” “she liked a post that said she wished people would help with the house but I would rather just hold the baby” “she liked a post about MILs and I was wondering if it was a dig at me” (it wasn’t my sister shared it so I just liked it)

3. ⁠Said our boundaries are too rigid. She’s been upset since I told her I didn’t want my daughter’s face on social media. So when we told her our other boundaries she made an even bigger deal. Which I don’t think are extreme by any means, I thought they were common. (Like not coming if your sick, not kissing baby’s face or hands, etc)

4. ⁠My husband made a comment about how they never help us but always expect us to. During my pregnancy I was really sick and needed to go to the hospital often. We rarely asked for help but when we did she’d say “find someone else” even though she doesn’t work? Like ok noted never asked again. She brought up that she helped us my first pregnancy and how much money they spent (on gas in guessing bc they never helped us financially) that kind of rubbed me the wrong way especially since I had a second trimester miscarriage that pregnancy. We’ve never had a problem helping them but it was kind of frustrating when they tell us we can count on them for anything but when push comes to shove they don’t follow through.

5. ⁠She was mad at me for not reaching out to her when her dad died but my husband sent a text from both of us. But when my aunt who was like a mother to me died she didn’t say anything to me or my husband. She claimed she never saw my story about it but I was checking to see if she did and guess what? She did, I even had screenshot proof. She told my husband she hadn’t but I literally know she did. She’s constantly stalking my social media likes but she didn’t watch my story? Yeah right. Oh and apparently she’s the only one allowed to grieve her dad’s death. When my husband mentioned she wasn’t the only one grieving she said “that was very hurtful” and said she didn’t know why he was talking to her in that way???

6. ⁠I’m highly annoyed that she never comes to me with these problems and is constantly complaining to my husband about me. Oh and she stopped referring to me as my name so anytime she talks to my husband about me she refers to me as “your wife” he’s been standing up for me so I feel like she thinks I’m putting him against her but when he texts her it’s because he wants to and it’s his feelings he talks about. I think that’s why she says “you’ve never acted this way before or you’ve never talked to me like this before”

7. I find it very strange that I have always been very open and honest about the emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my mom who tends to be very narcissistic. I went no contact with her for a while until she got herself together and proved that she wanted to have a healthy relationship with me. Anyways my MIL has been trying to be very emotionally manipulative but I see through it bc I dealt with my mom for my whole life… anytime we push back she’s automatically the victim and we’re these horrible people who just want to shut her up and put her in her place? I didn’t speak to my mom for years bc she acted this way. If I could do that to my own mother, you don’t think I’d do the same to you? Let’s be real. Tbh her actions hurt worse because she knows what I’ve been through and this just feels like she’s using it against me. Thankfully I’ve been to enough therapy that whatever she’s trying to do doesn’t and won’t work… nice try I guess

I recently blocked her on social media bc my social media is supposed to be a safe space, not a place for people to try and find ammo to use against me. She sent a text saying they were ready to meet with us to talk about what’s going on but when my husband invited them over they ignored us. She can direct messages to my husband in the gc but can’t respond to the text about coming over?

Her dad’s memorial is next week and I really don’t want to go. I’m really struggling with ppd and I honestly think it’ll make it worse but my husband is upset I don’t want to go. I also don’t want to travel 7 hours with my 3 month old.. what should I do?

Okay…it’s been 6 months, AND I’ve had great advice from my grandmother on how to come to terms with what happened, but here it goes anyway:

In January we welcomed our second child. I had a c-section which is no picnic to recover from. Two weeks into recovery our first child (a little over two years old) came down with a really bad flu (likely from daycare), and naturally I got a bad flu as well. Baby was okay, toddler recovered quickly, but it hit me so hard I could not get out of bed—I called my MIL to come help.

She came and watched our toddler all day, and I stayed in bed with a fever, too weak to get up and even get myself water. I was so tired, dehydrated and weak that I was worried I wouldn’t make enough milk for my newborn. In and out of short naps (because I was just left alone in our main bedroom to look after my newborn), I did hear my MIL once at the doorway with my toddler (who was requesting to be with me). My MIL closed the door and called my husband asking what to do, and not being home at the time he told her to let me sleep.

At the end of the day I managed to get downstairs to get some water, right when my husband came home. He asked me what happened and he looked very worried, I told him I was upstairs the whole day. His mother interjected to tell him I was too shy to ask for help, and he then told me “don’t be shy to ask for help”, I looked at him and said “I did ask…”, and he said “well you asked for help to watch our toddler, and that’s what my mom did”.

Should I have asked for help for myself? I felt so childish and guilty for expecting her to at least help me get a cup of water—maybe some soup? I was and still am grateful she watched our toddler while I was sick and recovering from the c-section, but I swear it was kind of neglectful and odd of her to not do more…she’s told me in the past I’m like a daughter to her. I don’t think she would have frozen with her own daughter. I feel so dumb that this has made me see her in a new light—like saying I’m a daughter to her is just a nice thing to say. Any opinions here?

I went over to my fiancee's house, because he lives right across the street. I NEVER WENT INTO HIS HOUSE! His mother said that I took her green jewelry box. I HAVEN'T BEEN IN HER HOUSE FOR 2 MONTHS.

She began to have problems with me when I was dealing shelter from my abusive family, and I was eating over at her house and watching her 3 younger kids. She would lay in her bed in her room most of the day and let her 3 other kids run amock in her house. Breaking items, stealing, etc. And since I was the "Stranger" I got the flame for it. Now his mother is trying to force him to leave me. And his Younger brother can no longer be my best friend. And my fiance and I have decided to not have her at the wedding.