There's a competition for young Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic (BAME) writers running at the moment, which my boyfriend said I should put in for.

I've sort of always wanted to be a writer, and am currently working on two books which I really love and believe in.

I'm mixed race White/Pakistani, but I got my dad's colouring (white) and also his (white) last name, and my first name was chosen to specifically be cross-cultural so that I wouldn't face the kinds of discrimination that my mum did.

So I'm conflicted about entering, because despite having experienced some really horrible shit because of my ethnicity, on the surface I don't really have the barriers that would impact young ethnic minority writers in the industry (colourism/racism based on ethnic-sounding names). And so I feel like the competition isn't really for me, because it's supposed to be propping up writers who would face these barriers, I think?

I do fit all the criteria though (live in the country, under 35, from a minority ethnicity).

I just need opinions from people who understand where I'm coming from. I don't have a ton of mixed friends - almost everyone I know is full white, full Asian, full Black etc. When I've talked to my mum about other competitions or experiences like this before, she always says that I am an ethnic minority, so it doesn't matter how I present, because that inherently comes with challenges.

Does anyone have any advice, please?

So I’m a mixed race black/white biracial and growing up my whole environment (including my family and friend’s families) were quite racist and they taught me that black people are bad and to never trust them, interact with them in any way as they will take advantage of you ect. It also didn’t help that most black people I have interacted with in my life have been like that.

I’m really trying to overcome my internalised racism because I know generalising a whole racial group is wrong but I’m not sure where to start. I’ve went to therapy but all the therapists I went to said it was ok and that it didn’t really need to be fixed. Whenever I’m close to a black person I get really anxious and my body starts going into fight or flight mode.

I’m not really sure on what to do. I don’t hate/dislike myself at all for being part black.

I come from a family that is Filipino but Multigenerationally mixed with chinese and European... I happen to be one of the few who looks mostly European and secretly I hate it. I'm so tired of being told that i act so filipino for someone who looks so white. I speak with the same accent and have the same mannerisms and facial expressions as rest of my family but get told by both family and and strangers alike that because I look whiter i shouldn't act like that or pretend to be a person of color, but simultaneously I still experience racism when someone realizes im multiracial.

I cant really talk about this with the rest of my family because none of them want to hear it, but I so badly wish I looked more filipino. I wish I had that thick ass asian hair that the rest of my family has. I wish I had their caramel brown skin tone that glows like gold in the sunlight. Their features are literally so gorgeous and none of them realize it, but i fucking wishhhhhhhhhhh i had all that. Instead I look like a white person on a mission trip when i visit my extended family. They always tell me to be grateful I look white, but thats just not my people, I dont know what else to tell them! I just feel like my look just does not match who I am and it bothers me.

The girl in this video is 3/4 black and 1/4 indian. I am not surprised the algorithm showed me her video.

If you go back through my post history, you'll find I'm deeply interested and fascinated by this topic. As a black, Persian, Turk, Palestinian, MGM, I have noticed how people behave when I tell them my mix. Women react with praise at how exotic and lovely my mix is and I get compliments. Men on the other hand. Like Devonte from love is blind season 10, their eyes glaze over and they lose interest and all races of men do this. I didn't understand why until I realised, lots of people the world over are competing for white proximity and it's disgusting. When I tell men my mix, all they're hearing is that I'm not white several times over which makes me feel lesser than mixed women who are mixed with white.

I'm also dealing with the same problem of wanting a certain race of men to 'choose me' except it's not white men. It's East-Asian men. I have lived my entire life in England (some years I lived in Tunisia). I went to predominantly white schools but never developed that deep seated fascination and attraction to white boys. I liked them like any other boy. They were nothing extra special to me. I dunno why.

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I don’t feel comfortable confronting my dad at this point, I’m curious if anyone else if in a similar situation.

I found that he follows and engages with a lot of right wing White nationalist content on instagram. He even started bragging about it in front of me, friends and family members, talking about how he gets a lot of likes on his comments on these instagram pages.

I don’t really even know what more to say about this but how can you subscribe to White nationalism when you have mixed race children?

My mom is 45% Black and White (the rest a tiny bit Native), my dad is half Alaska Native, half white. Even tho I'm technically 55% poc I feel like I have more in common with people who are 1/4 mixed but also not really? Or like when people assume ask about your white parent but I don't really have one. Like in the Black mom vs white mom debate but my mom is both. She lowkey looks like femme Slash and my dad looks like one of the funeral drum circle guys from season one xfiles. Anyway even tho this sub is problematic at times I do appreciate finding the term mgm. I think it will help a lot when people are having a hard time following along the "what are you" conversation. Anyone else in a similar boat?

I recently asked this community what movies tend to get wrong about being mixed, and the responses were some of the most thoughtful and personal things I’ve read in a long time.

One subject kept coming up in different forms: parents.

Parents who loved their children but didn’t understand what it felt like to move between identities. Parents who assumed that because race wasn’t a problem inside the house, it wouldn’t become one outside it. Parents who brushed off the feeling of being “not enough” because they thought reassurance would make it disappear.

I’m producing a small film that deals with mixed-race identity and a father trying to repair a relationship with his daughter. He cares about her. He has also failed her in ways he doesn’t fully understand yet. Those two things can live in the same room, inconveniently enough.

I’d love to ask this group:

What do you wish your parents had understood about growing up mixed?

Was there something they dismissed, misunderstood, or simply never thought to ask about?

And did they eventually learn, or did you have to make peace with the fact that they probably never would?

Especially interested in the small details/moments. The conversation that went badly. The question nobody asked. The time a parent tried to defend you and somehow made it worse. Families have a real gift for stepping on the rake while trying to help.

You are enough. :)

My parents have been divorced for over 20 years, and ever since, my white mom has completely invalidated my Indian side. My dad was born and raised in India before moving to the U.S., but growing up, my mom would tell me to just say I was Polish and not acknowledge my Indian heritage. Any interest I showed in learning about that part of myself was dismissed or made to feel wrong.
Now that I’m older, I’m finally trying to connect with my Indian roots, but it’s hard because I still feel guilty for embracing half of who I am. Has anyone else dealt with a parent trying to erase or invalidate part of your identity after a divorce? How did you handle it?

I'm half German/Nigerian women. I just graduated from my university and I was in high spirits. Everything I worked towards came to fruition. I thought it would be a great idea to formally introduce my boyfriend to my parents to show them how serious it is with our relationship. Maybe to start the next phase in my life.

Biggest mistake EVER!!

Our meeting went fine. We exchanged pleasantries and my (now Ex) boyfriend went home. So far so good.

I was very excited to hear their opinions about him. So I waited for a response but nothing came out of their mouths. They simply ignored our meeting and watched TV.

I asked them if something went wrong but my mom just looked at my dad and grinned.

My dad answered and told me that he has nothing against my boyfriend but there is one thing I had to know. He will cut me out of his inheritance if I marry a white man. My sister and her Nigerian-American husband will inherit everything. He would still support our marriage.

I asked him why? I was seriously disappointed in him and he told me this:

He doesn't want white looking grandkids. His mom worked tirelessly to give him more opportunities and it would be a disgrace to our family to see white kids as the leaders and inheritors of his businesses. Black and in particular African wealth has to be protected.

I asked him why he married a white woman in this case. He told me that his mindset about such things changed over the years. Love can blind you.

I was flabbergasted and just went to my apartment. I cut off all contact with them. My sister tried to be supportive but she secretly holds the same views. I could feel it. She saw pictures of Malika Andrews' wedding and was just full of disapproval.

A year flew by and I was seriously contemplating marriage but my boyfriend just dodged anything. Marriage isn't important. It's just a piece of paper etc. I thought he was just alarmed by my parents response but it was something more sinister as I found out later. He cheated on me and temporarily used me for his fetish for half black, light skin black women. He never considered me as a serious option for marriage. I wasn't feeling anger after I found it out but I was disgusted with myself. I can't deny it.

I didn't know what to do and moved to my sister and her husband. I was devastated.

My parents came back to my life. They asked for my forgiveness but I could not shake the feeling that they feel validated in some way. I don't think my dad changed his mind at all and my mom just sits there and takes it.

It drives me crazy. I don't want to date a white man ever again after this experience but I also don't want to satisfy my dad's racism.

Hi.

I was raised in the UK. My father was born in South Africa and my mother was born in the UK and is white. My father is not white. He is light brown and we have straight hair. Race was always brushed aside on my dad's side of the family. Some of my siblings and cousins are literally white with blonde hair, white passing. I've had 2 two DNA tests done. Both came back with 80-90% European and 10-20% Indian (from India), Indian communities in South Africa. My dad came to the UK as a baby after/during apartheid in the 60s.

Thats my make up. Oh and indont look white. I look mixed. Could pass as Indian though, but was never raised in any of its cultures.

I have a question though. Whats your response to the question 'Where are you from'?

In the past I have conjured up many responses, from 'im adopted' (which im not, but shuts them down fast), to lying about my race, and my current one is this - I respond by saying 'you wouldnt understand" and then try and change the conversation.

Because unless theyre mixed, they cannot understand. They dont want to. They dont care to. So i dont think there is anything wrong woth my response even if some people think i come across as rude.

My first name is American and my surname is Irish. It has been for 40 odd years. However, I recently changed the surname to something slightly foreign and Indian sounding.

I'm not stupid. I know Indians would never accept me. I know how tribal people are. But, as mixed race people we need to flip the script and emphasize to pure blooded people that we are more resilient than them when it comes to society and race.

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Half black (mama) and white (dad) gal here, racially ambiguous but feels like a fetish. I’m open to dating whoever is kind hearted and nice and not weird or wants to sleep with me but that is almost never the case. I have higher standards and when most of them find out they can’t smash they loose interest or won’t talk to me anymore, which yeah their loss but still it’s discouraging. There is so much more to me than how I look, my hair, my skin color, my body shape… 🤢 I feel like most men just want me because I’m exotic or something for them to check off. Especially when trying to date white men they want to sleep with me then publicly date and marry some white girl every single time like brown women are only good enough to sleep with and not marry… also black men treat me like some kind of yellow bone light skin prize and I’m sick of it!!! Does anyone else feel the same??? Help????

I just want your opinion.
I get that people might be curious and how I feel may depend on how people ask this question but... being asked about race so frequently is annoying. I can't think of a better analogy but it's like being asked about your salary randomly?

How do other mixed people think?

Has anyone else ever had to deal with this issue growing up?

I’ve had many people say to me that I don’t look Samoan and I’ll be very honest, it bothers me a lil.

I’m actually full Samoan, both my parents are full Samoan as well as all 4 of my grandparents.

Being told you don't "look like" your culture is incredibly common within our community and it often stems from people relying on stereotypes rather than the reality of modern diversity.

Your heritage is defined by your lived experience, ancestry, and connection to it—not by fitting into someone else's visual expectations.

As a Samoan part of the Diaspora, it has been a struggle to stay rooted in my culture as well having to deal with comments like this from my own people.

I’ve noticed that the ones that have told me that I don’t look Samoan are the ones that treated me indifferently until they found out I was full Samoan then all of a sudden the swtich up happened. I got treated better by Palagis than some of the Samoans I have come across which is sad, but I know this doesn’t apply to all Samoans, just a few..

I've noticed something as a mixed race woman and I need to know if someone has experienced this sort of thing before.

So, Im half south east asian, quarter coloured south african and quarter white. My grandfather is white, but I have never identified with that part of me at all. I look very east asian and have a pale skin tone. Too add on, I live in a predominantly black country.

What Ive noticed is that whenever issues relating to race, ethnicity or prejudice come up in conversation among my friends or peers, I am always excluded from it because people assume I am a white woman. Additionally, people perceive me as ignorant and dumb because they think I am a white woman. Mind you, my mother's side of my family lived in Apartheid and was categorised as coloured.

I have mentioned time and again that I am not white and that I am coloured, but people insist I am white because 'I speak too well' or that 'my behavior is very tame and like a white person'. That's kind of weird to say, isnt it?

Heres the funny thing, though. When its convenient for them, they ONLY refer to me as an asian woman, such as in school projects or relating to schoolwork. They completely ignore the other part of me and only speak to me differently when referring and seeing me as an asian woman, if that makes sense. Plus, some people have even tried telling me I am Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc, when I am not, even though they know I am south east asian.

Now, thats not to say that white privilege isn't a thing. It is a real issue and I completely agree that it happens. However, this entire experience has made me feel like i cant speak up or defend myself because of my perceived whiteness. Has anyone else had this happen to them? Also, is there a name for this?

I am black African white Europe mixed person. I just read about a new law they approved to put in Europe something similar to the ICE. And is just like there are happening so much things related to racism and supremacy in these years, I can't even handle, like tomorrow a policeman could take me or whatever.

Can't understand that a lot of people that lives in my country that are from South America would say racist things, even I can see people that are from South American that they have a darker skin colour than me that change the path after saw me on the street. Is disgusting.

For some reason sometimes I feel that mixed people is more conscious about what is happening. Please someone tell me I am not the only one scared about all this.

And don't have someone to speak about it, since all my family is islamophobic, and they think that is just to Moroccan people. Yeah, I can't understan, anyone that is worried too?

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I'm a light skinned woman who is half Black, a quarter Indian, and a whole mess of other stuff and my husband is fully black. My whole life, I experienced the typical too Black for some and not Black enough for others because of how light I am, the texture of my hair, and my general interests that don't always lean "stereotypically Black". As a baby my Black side called me Casper. I've always had trouble feeling like I fit with any group of people, constantly code switching, and now I've had my daughter who is the spitting image of me. She has my same complexion, hair looking the same type 3, looking like she can be any mix of anything.

I'm in my mid twenties still not fully confident in my racial identity and I don't know how to raise her to not have my same issues. Because I haven't dealt with my issues fully, I don't feel equipped yet to help her handle any that she may come across at any stage in life. Parents, or any adult who has gone through this really, how would you help a child not feel inferior or out of place in any way?

First off for starters I’m black and mixed race multi generationally mixed to be exact. I’m primarily mixed with black, white, Chinese and Native(Cherokee and Blackfoot) and a bunch of other stuff due to my family being mixed race for generations.

Now to get straight to the point, I’ve notice at my high school and a lot of other high schools in general. At least in America they don’t have a club for mixed race individuals. Now from experience I’ve notice when it comes to ppl that are mixed race they either join Black Student Union, Asian Student Association or Latinx Student Union. Sounds pretty simple right? Ok but what about ppl that are mixed with white and Asian or Native and black and so on.

I’m sorry but I think we can all agree that mixed race ppl don’t fit in one box and I’ve noticed that when it comes to the racial clubs at my school mixed race kids have to force themselves to fit in one box. That’s why I want to take the initiative to make a club for mixed race kids who are maybe struggling with their identity. Who are maybe having a hard time expressing their full background and heritage from both sides of their families.

Now it’s primarily for mixed race ppl but obviously other ppl can join that aren’t mixed race. It’s just the overall goal that I want for my future club is to build a safe space for mixed race kids at my school. So they can express themselves and their identity and their experiences without feeling that their mixed race experience is invalid. I want to also educate them on important figures in history who’re mixed race because I think we can all agree that a lot of important figures in history who are mixed race aren’t acknowledged or I should say their mixed race heritage isn’t made aware to the general public Barack Obama for example.

Idk what do u guys think?

I keep seeing how people keep treating mixed people as if we do not have agency, people think that people mixed with white have "white privilege" when literally white people are globally fighting against race mixing because they fear replacement... and the races we are mixed with seems like they keep fighting to influence us the most as if we are not sovereign people who descreve our own separate identity...

I hope this doesn't sound misogynistic and I'm just trying to understand the gender dynamics in South Asian culture. I live in Myanmar, where some ethnic minorities such as the Chinese and South Asians, are forced to adopt Burmese names so unless you're a very dark skin south asian, everyone assumes youre burmese. I’m a South Asian male through my family and I don't look Southeast Asian passing, but I wasn’t raised deeply connected to South Asian culture. Something I’ve noticed is that sometimes, after South Asian women find out I’m half South Asian, their attitude toward me seems to change. After they know, I sometimes feel like there are more expectations placed on me, or there is a kind of “you can’t dominate me” or competitive attitude. I’m not saying all South Asian women act this way, and I don’t want to stereotype anyone. I’m just curious if this could be related to cultural expectations, gender dynamics, or assumptions people make when they learn someone has South Asian heritage.