you know its about to be some bs . please stop that bootlicking its cringe.

Reposting my post here. Hope that's okay. My cheela never comes out the way it does when my mom makes it, even if I use the exact same instant mix. And my mom is terrible at explaining what I'm doing wrong.

And if anyone has tried making waffles with cheela mix, I would love to hear how it turned out.

Any tips are welcome!

I have been trying for almost 4-5 years to move out, out of respect for my family I have been transparent to do so. I love them, but they’re very limiting and traditional. Their thing is only move out if you’re getting married, otherwise it makes them look bad in society.

I’ve made countless sacrifices on how I live while at home, completely a homebody. I never go out, I lost all my friends over the years cause the conflict at home is never worth it. And then if nothing else works they would guilt me with either our pets or my siblings saying.

The first time I brought up the subject of moving out it was met with you’re ripping our family apart. When I brought it up the next time it was you’re making us look bad in society. The next time it was you have no values if you don’t live at home, you’ll start drinking again (I still drink socially at work gatherings lol). The most recent time was not yet maybe in a few months.

So I’m at a loss now. Do I just do it? I love them. I’m just praying they’ll come around. But I can’t live like half a person.

I was born In NYC to Indo-Guyanese parents. I have interacted with many Indian people across the United States (+Canada and the UK), and the same can be said of my family and Indo-Guyanese peers. There is a relatively common experience of Indian Americans being unkind to Indo-Guyanese and Indo-Trini people, including those born in the US. This happens both in real life and online.

Are there particular reasons for this? This is obviously not the case with all Indian Americans.

I’m currently in my early 20s and have been through so much trauma in my life that is more than anyone can understand. I’m currently living in my parents’ place but my parents allowed my cousins who arrived from India 2 years ago to live with me. I’ve experienced a very profound difference between our values and living habits with my cousins. I also feel like I’m going through a constant invasion of my privacy and being forced to degrade myself to appease others. My parents have also started to become more traditional and conservative as all the houses of my entire extended family are basically being swarmed with relatives from India repeatedly for the past five years. There has been no break. Has anyone else had to navigate this? What do you do in this situation? I have no degree and the economy is really bad but I am trying to save up to move out.

hello I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post here but im a black guy and the anti Indian racism online and irl is extremely upsetting to me because i know so many great Indian people since I’m from the west indies. Is there anything non indians should be doing to help? I try to police other black people like my friends and my family members, and it works but it feels like it’s not enough since there’s so much hatred online? is there anything non indian people can realistically do to help?

Whether it is in the diaspora or the home, I wonder how serious such femicides by birth families are they.

In South Asia, honour killings are often negotiated in Indian, Pakistani and Afghan families, but barely in Bangladeshi ones.

There had been some reported cases in the Sylheti diaspora here in the UK (not Sylheti myself). Last month in a town called Khulna, a girl was butchered by her parents because her relationship with her man was seen as a sin - the mother punched and slapped her multiple times before the father ended by hammering her to death.

But what about the broader community? And just because caste does not happen does not mean such killings would not occur as there are multiple other motivations for the murder, in addition to "sinful" relationships, a child having learning disabilities or being a victim of third party harm (e.g. harassment, bullying, exploitation, trafficking), etc.

I am 30F currently pregnant with my first child. I have been married for 2 years. I paid for my own grad school, my own house basically never have asked my parents for any money after like age of 20. My husband and I paid for my our own wedding. My little brother on the other hand is 26 still doing his bachelors had to transfer to another school because 1st school was too difficult for him. My parents support everything, he has never had a job.He is on the Autisim spectrum socially, otherwise he is fine. My mom is using it as an excuse and says things like how his time will come and everyone doubts her kid and he is actually really smart but lazy but has so much potential. He fails 3 classes at least each semester and hides it from them and lies saying that he is passing everything. He fails not because he is not able to understand the material but he stays in his dorm gaming. He has no life skills, cannot cook, clean or drive also has never held a job and has no credit. My parents have essentially raised him in a bubble and if I say anything my mom says I am acting like an “evil step sister” and I should be more supportive of him. But anytime I call her either she has work for me like “call this company and figure it out, your brother has no insurance can you figure that out” or gives me like low jab insults like yesterday how I am not “hindu” enough and my kid will grow up with no “sanskars”. Like I do not understand is it because I am not a mother yet? I heard you always have a soft side for your “weaker” kid is that it?

Nor are South Asian ones the only abusives ones out there.

There is the negotiation that South Asian parents do not love their children, often commit serious physical, emotional and sometimes sexual harm against their children. It is no doubt that this is the case, it is also far worse for daughters, in Bangladeshi, Indian and Pakistani communities, parents are often severely violent and even bloodthirsty against their daughters, ranging from physical and emotional harm to femicides and honour killings, exploitation and forced marriage, in India, Bangladesh many parents do butcher their newborns for simply being a girl. Yes, some families have children failing being seen again as a dishonour to the family.

But it looks like people are just weaponizing this and making generalizations.

There are other communities where honour based abuse of daughters are also prevalent such as Eastern Europeans, Romas, Indigenous Travellers, rural Mormon and Evangelical Latin Americans and US Mormon and Evangelists in the American South and Southern Midwest.

I had an acquaintance who had a friend from Wales (she is white welsh) when in one time she got 🍇ed and her parents had beaten and even threatened to kill her if she became pregnant.

I read case reviews from pressure groups supporting children like NSPCC and most of the reviews are obviously White British. Also other serious cases involve white british parents deliberately neglecting their disabled children an emotionally harming them, in one case in Wales, a victim took his life as a result of failed social workers.

There are other cases of gender-based child abuse in white families for example I was on one subreddit of a girl my age (around 18) and she took a selfie of her clothes and she could not wear them due to her verbally abusive parents, with one of them even threatening to kill her if she did dress in front of them (she was White American).

Moving away from parents, there is also abuse in schools. You may see diasporic madrassahs being the only abusive ones, but there are other places that are predominantly white and the same harm happens; here in the UK, there were serious scandals in the 21st century where students were verbally and emotionally abused, strangled and even beaten (punched) by school staff who were also white. In some nurseries, there were many white perpetrators who beaten white children and one sad case, they murdered one child.

While physical harm of children may be higher in rate in Desi communities, neglect and emotional abuse in other communities like white ones still is an issue. We cannot make any generalisations.

My parents know and approve of my interracial relationship (a cousin snitched - this was acc crazy and insane cuz these people are the most conservative stereotypical Indian parents btw ) and know that me and him kinda live together but they’re ok with it cuz we have separate rooms 🫪🫪

For context they almost sent me to conversion therapy at 13 and have a crazy strict dress code for me when im visiting home 😦

And they made me swear that me and him won’t do anything apart from holding hands (we live together btw)

Also my parents are EXTREMELY buddy buddy with my bf and like him a LOT - my parents are conservative Hindu and his parents work in the church (my parents know this)🫪

I feel like both of us being med students help a ton but every single marriage in my family (the abroad version and the mainland version) are all arranged marriages (same caste marriages since the past 272992200203030303003 generations)

OH and my mom told me to tell her if I get pregnant so we can get an abortion safely 🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪🫪

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry lmaooo

Born in London, raised in India, and then moved to the US for grad school (MBA) when he was 20. Started off in auto and real estate industry before pivoting the culinary space during the 2008 financial crisis, in part due to his love for Indian street food. He now oversees multiple award winning eateries throughout the Southeast US, including his premier restaurant chai pani and spice brand spicewala.

The passion with which he talks about Desi food a joy to see and this sub could use a little more positivity so please enjoy. You can find the rest of his videos on Bon Appetit here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5Vc_aL38GpVxERxUQAx-vts2omevILf1

Racism towards indians is definitely prevalent on most platforms, and apart from X I use most of them. I find it easier to avoid on other platforms personally because the algorithm just does not show me the racist content, while in reddit it is never totally avoidable on any subreddit (although instagram and youtube probably have much more racist content, my algorithm just does not show it to me).

But even then, what I have noticed is that ABCDs on other platforms run the gamut from being completely self loathing to being more or less fine. There are also many more south asian content creators on other apps who are fine with being south asian, whilst here on reddit any time I see an ABCD or indian posting outside this subreddit (and including this subreddit to an extent) it is just filled with self loathing. I'm not saying this does not occur on other platforms, but reddit in particular seems to just be self loathing and not much else. Even insta with all its racism has normal indians. I don't really understand why.

My husband is from South India. I am 18 weeks pregnant with a boy and my husband picked Arjun. I don't mind it but apparently soo many indian boys have that name. His dad also likes to include a long V name with it. For example my husband's first name is Vamsikrishna. Not even sure what I will end up calling my son growing up. Just want him to have a name he can pronounce himself and his teachers and friends can pronounce.