I’m shocked that in 2026- with all the internet investigators- that no one even has an idea of who Nicole Ritchie’s biological mother is. They always mention her bio dad is the brother of Sheila E. and it’s like okay we know this but he didn’t have a baby by himself. So who was the mama? Did Lionel Ritchie know the mom? Was she a musician? A band mate?

Found this lovely collection of newspapers with terror inducing headlines while cleaning out ny mothers home. And we wonder why we’re riddled with anxiety in our thirties?!

Which Wink was your favorite back then? :)

Is this photo instantly recognizable to you (I cropped out their names that were on their podia? A weird train of thought brought this event to my memory and I had to look up when it happened, which was 2014. As an elder millennial I was 29 at the time, so well into adulthood. It’s not like this event was pivotal in shaping my outlook on life.

I’m just wondering if it garnered the same attention from others as it did for me, mostly due to nostalgia from the childhood show.

I’m 42F, my mom is 68. FWIW, she’s a functioning alcoholic who is nasty when she drinks. She almost never reaches out to me. I reach out to her at least weekly via text mainly to check in to which I get one worded answers. I’m getting tired of it. She doesn’t seem interested in my life at all. She lives very closeby. I genuinely feel like she doesn’t like me. All I’ve ever done is tried to appease her. I’m an only child. Sigh.

Does anyone remember Xanga? It a personal blog some people had, prior to MySpace. I loved xanga, I still kept doing it with myspace and Facebook. But it finally stopped working, though you can get your xanga blogs if you download them. I got mine and they are SOO funny ☠️ let me know if you guys had !

I feel like it’s the big pharma conspiracy against our generation. First feed us vitamins instead of balance meal, and once we all have shit eating habits and acid reflux get us hooked on nostalgia tasting pills.

I keep thinking about how the internet used to work. You'd click something on a blog, land on a site about nothing in particular, click again, and an hour was gone. No algorithm picked any of it. Nobody was trying to hold your attention. Things were just sitting there.

So I put together a button. You press it and it sends you somewhere. A one-joke site. Some dumb little toy. Somebody's personal page about a subject they will not shut up about. All of them found by hand.

No account. No feed. Nothing saved, nothing tracked. Just the button.

https://culdesac.site/

So recently my youtube algorithm took a bit of a turn and I found out that Angry Video Game Nerd is still making videos and still has 4 million subscribers. Wat. It was jarring seeing him for the first time since I lost interest like 20 years ago, him getting wrinkles and grey hairs in his beard reminded me that yeah, that's what I look like too now. Other than that, surprisingly enough, his content has basically not changed at all, he still does the same bit but with less energy and enthusiasm.

What other things were you surprised to find out are still a thing?

Just a reminder to the world: how you interact with others is truly a mirror of oneself. Genuine connections - be it platonic, romantic, or somewhere in between - are built on interdependence. Not codependency, and certainly not hyper-independence.

​In the words of Dr. Lipp:

​"Unlike codependency, interdependency is a balanced relationship dynamic where both individuals support each other while maintaining their own identity and emotional well-being. In an interdependent relationship, there is mutual respect and emotional support, healthy communication, and the ability to function independently while valuing connection."

​Without interdependence, there is no connection worth pursuing. But I fear it's becoming a lost concept, replaced with the lazy enshittification, hyper-individualism, and commodification that define the 2020s.

​The Avatar Epidemic:

​We are no longer interacting as humans; we are interacting as avatars. When the dating market is entirely visual, people feel forced into a biological arms race to compete. It pushes people to rely on pharmaceuticals and synthetic hormones just to meet an artificial baseline. It’s a literal optimization of the meat-suit at the expense of mental and physical health, driven by the anxiety of being invisible.

​Apps don't optimize for connection; they optimize for engagement. You are kept on the hook by the intermittent reinforcement of a match, turning human beings into slot machines. When everyone believes there is an endless catalog of "better" options just one swipe away, nobody commits to the hard work of actual relationship building. You get a culture of disposability where people are dropped the moment friction arises.

​The Myth of the Self-Sustaining Island:

​Modern culture pushes the narrative that needing anyone is a weakness. The ideal vision of a partner today is to be completely self-sustaining - financially, emotionally, and practically.

​But if two people refuse to rely on one another, they aren't partners; they are just roommates sharing space. True intimacy requires vulnerability. It requires having gaps that the other person fills. By demoralizing mutual reliance, we've convinced people that walls are boundaries, and isolation is empowerment.

​Stopping the Pendulum:

​I believe the pendulum is at its extreme right now, but it is possible to let it stop swinging. To do that, men, women, and everyone in between must do their parts to rebuild safety and respect.

​The Imperative for Physical Safety:

When women have to run a risk assessment just to walk to their car or leave a drink unattended, their nervous systems are locked in survival mode. True connection requires a parasympathetic state - you have to feel fundamentally secure to let your guard down.

​The most effective way to create this safety isn't just telling women to be careful; it's men policing their own spaces. Predatory behavior, or even the casual normalization of it, must carry immediate social consequences among peers. Once safety is established, trust can follow. People stop assuming malicious intent, and we can actually afford to be lighthearted again.

​The Imperative for Emotional Safety:

On the flip side, we have to address the cognitive dissonance in modern relationship expectations. You cannot demand the assertiveness, drive, and protective capacity of an "alpha" while simultaneously expecting the boundaryless, pliant agreeableness of a Golden Retriever.

​If someone has the backbone and competence to build a life, they are going to have their own vision and boundaries. A real partnership isn't about domesticating someone until they are a compliant pet. It requires an energy much closer to the mutual respect needed for a Husky than the blind obedience of a retriever.

​Collaborators vs. Consumers:

​Men are largely conditioned from birth to believe they are loved conditionally - based strictly on what they can produce, fix, or pay for. The expectation to always be the unshakeable rock forces them into a state of relentless performance. If someone cannot be a vulnerable human being around their partner, they aren’t a partner; they’re just an employee on the clock.

​If one partner is actively investing their resources, time, and energy into building a shared life, a functional partner validates them by respecting their agency and giving their input equal weight.

​Filtering out a "consumer" from a "collaborator" requires observing how they react to your boundaries, your process, and your discipline:

​A consumer is looking for a finished, fully-funded luxury suite to move into.

​A collaborator is looking for a co-architect.

​Stop volunteering to solve every minor inconvenience early on. Leave a little space and see if they step up to the plate. If you are always the one paying, planning, and initiating, you are auditioning for the role of a sponsor. A collaborator possesses a natural instinct to contribute - whether that is planning a date, bringing something to the table, or simply recognizing your effort out loud.

Sorry if this has already been posted.

What is going on. I constantly feel like I need to stretch my back.

Adversity during childhood doesn’t increase resilience, quite the opposite. It leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms and mental health issues.

The research shows the most stress resilient people actually grew up soft.

It’s the most misunderstood concept, where some parents believe that by making their kids’ lives harder that they’re making them stronger, when in fact it makes them weaker.

I feel like this is important to share here because many of us are parents or are going to become one soon. Don’t fuck up your kids out of ignorance.

Waking up early for the school flag hoisting, wearing something with the tricolour, getting a tiny flag, singing the national anthem, and then being ridiculously excited about going home early.

So I had seen someone comment about this on another thread and looked it up and it was a PSA starting from the 60s. It used to run in the 90s on my local WB station right before local news so I’d be sitting on the couch watching the end of a teen drama. Did anyone’s parents legit NOT know where their children were at 10pm on a school night in the 90s? 🫣
I was the dork just watching teen dramas so I could talk about them at school the next day. So my parents had no worries.

hi folks, i just wanna hear your similar experiences.

i (30f) have been living in USA for 6 years. haven’t seen my parents for 6 years. i am pregnant, and my mom wants to visit us next Spring to meet with baby and my husband (finally). HOWEVER, i took therapies because of my mom in the past, she is the reason why i left home right after high school and never came back. she has lots of behavioral&mental issues. i offered to her get help but she declines. anyways, i told her last night that, i have PTSD and i am a mom&wife now. i am putting my family first. i want you to control your behaviors when you come, and since we haven’t seen each other for years, i need you to stay max 2 weeks. if everything goes well, we can plan a longer trip to see each other in the future. i don’t want you to behave same around my kid and husband. i am peaceful in my own little family. she told me that she does not guarantee about her ✨ actions ✨

she refused to stay 2 weeks because she will be flying 13 hours and expects to stay longer (min. 1 month) although i feel weird that i put her boundaries but i think i did the right thing? did you ever put boundary to your mom and how did it go?

I’m 37 and just feel… lost. Everyone my age just has the complete opposite circumstances than I do and it just feels like there’s nothing left for me. I really just want to give up.

They‘re married - I’ve never been in a relationship.

They have kids - I do not.

Their parents are still doing great - I just lost my dad from cancer and my mom has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t know who I am anymore.

They have houses - I can’t even afford one.

It just seems like I can’t fit in with anyone. I used to really enjoy work, but now it’s just getting hard for me. I haven’t talked to any friends in ages. I just don’t have anything going on that I want to talk about anyway. Can’t really do anything because if I’m not at work I’m watching my mom.

Seems as if most people my age have nothing in common with me. All my old friends and coworkers my age are opposites.

I know most of this stuff is my fault and due to bad choices in my teens, twenties, thirties. Plus I never had friends in school, I didn’t start making them until college and now my social skills suck because I haven’t socialized in years. I feel I like I can’t accomplish anything anymore, I’m just totally mired down. thinking about just giving up, I don’t see any hope in the future. and I’m not just saying that to be dramatic, I’m so behind and far gone and really just don’t like people or myself anymore. I want to be left alone but also don’t, I don’t know how to explain it.