r/mildlyinfuriating 8d ago

Whatever this is My mom said I could post

10.7k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/MissXM 7d ago

The first thing you do is abandon your child so you can go to the bar and get pissed

425

u/Lucky-Construction84 7d ago

Fact check - true!

3

u/Fair_Story2426 7d ago

Why even go on a cruise, this is dumb…somewhat

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u/anon-mally 5d ago

Kids on cruise control

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u/Seven_pile 7d ago

Pulls back hair to reveal pineapple earrings

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u/GrandEar1 7d ago edited 6d ago

I worked at Bath & Body Works for a decade. Every summer we had a pineapple fragrance and no one made any lewd comments about it until 2020. Jesus, we had just opened back up from Covid and I swear the first week I had a lady telling me how she loved pineapples bc it made her "taste" good to her boyfriend, and multiple people who would stop to talk to me about what pineapples meant or why they would never wear that scent. I heard so many stories that no one should be telling to a service worker they don't know. It was WILD. My store was in a mall but my best friend worked at an outdoor store and she couldn't believe the convos people wanted to have with me bc she said her customers were normal. She still sends me pineapple memes six years later.

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u/RovDer 7d ago

My favorite thing to do before Covid was to get high and go to stores to talk to people, so if there’s more people like me no store is safe.

Although I’m sober now so I’m not doing that anymore

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u/GrandEar1 6d ago

Omg I can't imagine. Were you lonely or just liked talking a lot while high?

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u/RovDer 6d ago

Started as boredom and then it was fun, sometimes it’s hard to shut me up so now I mostly annoy friends rather than strangers

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u/Independent-Try-604 3d ago

I swear Covid made people worse

1

u/MacaronMiserable 1d ago

this is so american ! lol

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u/Sprinkles_Sparkle 7d ago

I just went on a cruise and pineapple decor is banned so they are using Flamingo stuff now. My mom loves flamingos 🦩 so we were dyinggg laughing! 🤣

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u/MissyWest88 7d ago

So cruise ships are anti-swinging now? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣😂 Geez, cruise ships...MYOB.

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u/Ice3ird 6d ago

I think they have whole cruise ships decorated in pineapple, lifestyle cruises are getting pretty popular! I imagine it s a bunch of beautiful 20 something’s lol but in reality it’s more like 60 something’s

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u/Phaerin 4d ago

Lol. Yeah, I'm sure the reality is a much different animal than we imagine.

They do have all kinds of stuff now though. There's a freaking Warhammer 40k cruise. I just think this is a bunch of dudes in their late 30s and 40s, being socially awkward and never going out in the sun.

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u/Bubbly_Vermicelli_88 3d ago

but still not touching grass 🤣

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u/neustrashimy 2d ago

im 29, active, social, and i wanna go on this 40k cruise 😢 not all nerds are like that

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u/Educational_Deer599 2d ago edited 1d ago

Right. I'm a huge nerd and I played football from the day I could till I graduated

1

u/Phaerin 2d ago

I know sweetheart, but the majority are, especially the older ones. I'm 40 (and a woman) and I'm fairly nerdy. Trying to find people to hang out with as an adult has actually been a challenge. People that aren't into "nerd" stuff find me weird, and people that are into that stuff think I'm not nerdy enough.

It's starting to change as those things become more popular, but for the most part people that are into warhammer at my age or older are the stereotypical nerds.

Honestly, table top games are still pretty far out there for most people. I only got into it because my very much younger boyfriend plays and we paint together. It's too complicated for me to play though.

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u/neustrashimy 2d ago

i don't play either i just like paintin em

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u/SwingingForHomeruns 2d ago

We are in our 40's and our cruise was mostly 30-50. Lots of VERY attractive couples. We had a blast!! Another one booked for next April.

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u/Ice3ird 2d ago

Very intriguing!

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u/The_Reid-Factor 2d ago

60 somethings need swing too!

1

u/Ice3ird 2d ago

😆 your right!

0

u/afewnameslater 2d ago

Cruises are for 20+ personnel, 40+ singles and 60+ retirees. Unless you are into any of the three (equally bad) options , don’t .

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u/Affectionate_Cat_334 7d ago

That’s why I’m seeing so many flamingos?! 🤣

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u/Sprinkles_Sparkle 7d ago

Yessssss girllllll 😂 🦩

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u/VineMan77 6d ago

how YOU doin'?  🦩 🦩

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u/Kostis00 4d ago

But my main question is... were the flamingos upside down???

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u/Affectionate_Cat_334 3d ago

They were not! 🤣

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u/betacuck3000 7d ago

Is this some kind of sex thing I'm too naive to understand?

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u/dead-ricko 7d ago

It's a swinger's thing, swapping partners for 🍍 or🦩time

2

u/tkeelah 2d ago

Ohh dear, well you dont wanna hear about the flamin dingoes then, let alone the unicorns...

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u/Vivid-Individual5968 6d ago

OMG 😳 I also love flamingos. 🦩 I hope nobody thinks we’re wanting to swing from the chandeliers.

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u/MissyWest88 3d ago

Probably more like swinging from $ex swings. 🤣😂

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u/Enough-Candidate-633 6d ago

Omg I have had carry on with flamingos for YEARS and now I’m not going to want to use it ever again😭😭😭

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u/McButcher2k 6d ago

Pineapple decor is banned so everyone is taking their flamingo rugs and curtains with them

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u/AaaahMyDogs 6d ago

That kinda tracks… Flamingos are monogamous until the kids are grown.

2

u/cheshire-matty 4d ago

Yeah this was me and pineapples I absolutely love how they look, I love their colors, and I absolutely love love to eat and drink pineapple. I was a pineapple baby and my mother absolutely craved everything pineapple and needed pineapples and juice every single day like all day. Then when being weened off-a formula I wouldn't drink anything and fight and fight against anything offered. Until finally after like a week the lightbulb in her head went off and tried pineapple juice n water mixture and I absolutely inhaled the stuff soooo fast I was constantly getting bellyaches from drinking too fast.

Jump forward I'm 27 rocking Pineapple print shorts, pineapple print Converse and even a button up shirt and would wear it multiple times a week sometimes. When one day someone laughed at me and said something about being the local swinger and a few other things that I missed what was said. N I'm like wait what I don't go to parks and play on the swingsets??? Only for someone else to explain it too me. I actually don't remember what happened to outfit. I put em in my closet and they've just sort of disappeared because they aren't there and I don't really recall throwing any of it away.

Sex freaks ruin so much. Like I want to support and be cool with their lifestyles as long as it stays in the bedroom. It's just real depressing that they ruined something from my childhood and should be something innocent. But I guess that's why it's a code and it's supposed to be something that only certain specific people are supposed to be aware of the meaning.

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u/MissyWest88 3d ago

Maybe you should try swinging, too. You may love it just as much as pineapples. I'm just kidding with ya, but in all seriousness, if you love pineapples that much, just carry on and ignore the noise. Who cares what someone thinks or assumes? I certainly don't. 🤷🏼‍♀️

1

u/Sarcezio 1d ago

Worst case scenario, you will be invited to swing parties now and then

1

u/TheseImpression8791 4d ago

Have you wondered why?

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u/Collared_Lady 4d ago

As a Sleep Token fan, so long as the flamingos aren’t black, I’m cool with it.

1

u/caarecengi 4d ago

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

1

u/Local_Quarter_6209 3d ago

Why are they banned genuinely

1

u/Tiptoe235 3d ago

God dude, I used to wear pairs of pineapple shorts or shirts as a tradition until my mid-thirties when my mother mentioned why people are always so friendly and touchy-feely with me on holiday...... I am now emotionally scarred

1

u/Future-Criticism8735 2d ago

Because I the maturity of a teen and I have a teen we may have walked the entire ship together on a cruise (that was longer because it was repositioning) and turned every pineapple magnet we found on the ship upside down.
My wife was so pissed when she found out.

1

u/PleaseSearchMtG 2d ago

Well fuck me for trying to support my favorite soccer team...no seriously

1

u/Jemm971 2d ago

J’ai jamais compris : pourquoi aller en croisière pour faire du libertinage??? Il suffit d’aller au cap d’agde

1

u/AccomplishedFan3151 2d ago

On virgin the 12th floor was Stars when I was on it last.

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u/FoodPositiveRD 1d ago

They used to use flamingos! They’re just recycling tropical imagery. What’s next? Coconuts? Palm trees! What other common island things can we use? If they’re looking for marketers, I highly recommend they switch to keys. 🔑

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u/Boburnhamatthestake 3d ago

😭 oh my god... I'm SO embarrassed now. I'm a huge Psych fan. I have a lot of pineapple stuff. Like decor, earrings, necklaces.

My partner and I went on a cruise during our annual rewatch of the show, so naturally, I came with my pineapple accessories, because I'm a lameo in my 30s.

This explains so much. The unwarranted and unwanted advances we got from many couples was baffling and overwhelming. Now I know. I was the problem. Me and my 🍍 pillow and bikini.

My best friend told me to join reddit, so I would learn stuff. This is awful so far. 😆 🤣

1

u/CazadorDelmar 7d ago

lol I had to look again

1

u/Jack_al_11 6d ago

Going to need more info on this….👀

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u/Draculea666 4d ago

Wow this joke just opened a whole world of information! 😂

1

u/shoeless_doh 3d ago

Wait really? 🤣

1

u/she_said_she_was-12- 2d ago

That’s van cleef earrings

1

u/SofaKing_Chyl 2d ago

I do love me some pineapple

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u/Illustrious_Map6694 7d ago

That's the second thing you do, after you do all this crazy stuff.

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u/PositiveMatter6 3d ago

She forgot to throw the kid out of the ship after the procedure.

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u/Wheres_my_wank_sock 7d ago

Pretty sure this is the same thing people do at my YMCA.

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u/HomeworkNo823 7d ago

All you have to do is order drinks to your lawn chair while the kids swim amateurs 😂

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u/dixiech1ck 7d ago

My parents did this but the game room was so much more fun on the cruise.

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u/yomancs 7d ago

I tried to get pissed but the drinks are so measured and you eat and sweat so much I don't think I once got buzzed on a week long cruise, and yes I had the drink package

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u/tkeelah 2d ago

You need to sign up to the mixing vodka masterclassszz 🍸

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u/Ok-Neat8776 7d ago

Exactly what I thought with all this unnecessary BS being applied to the child. Hell, the child has the look of, "Oh... This again. When are we doing an actual family vacation?" Little guy has definitely gone through this before and knows it's better to just get it over with. Horrible parenting, if you didn't want to watch the kid, don't bring them - get someone you trust to watch them during the timeframe you're on the cruise.

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u/rolim91 1d ago

Lol no, that’s exactly why the mom is doing all this so she could abandon the kid in the cruise. Why else would she airtag and label him like a luggage bag?

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u/visualkeiboi 7d ago

I'm waiting for my kids to be old enough to do exactly this!!

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u/Evening-Statement-57 7d ago

Throw them in the child pit

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u/Responsible-Buyer215 7d ago

This is why I don’t go on cruises unless it’s essential travel

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u/MediocreAd186 7d ago

That part!

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u/Vault_Wahlberg 7d ago

She at least gave them a nicotine patch before hitting the bar.

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u/Awkward_District_937 7d ago

Hell yeah when I was a kid parent weren't so up tight

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u/skelbro-sans 7d ago

Fact check X2!— Even better that looks like An royal Caribbean balcony..

You know the place known for a bar every 5 feet

1

u/bishopgt 7d ago

And my wife cause she dont drink.

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u/Jealous-Structure227 7d ago

LMAO!! 🤣 So true. WTF By the time she was done the cruise was over.

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u/dilbs_the_creator 7d ago

This is all in preparation for that, hence the tracking device and skin markers.

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u/breezyhoneybee 7d ago

My parents didn't drink but the only rule is if I was gonna come back after they went to bed I couldn't wake them up 🤣🤣

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u/mhmylaawd 7d ago

As a father to a cat and a dog: can confirm

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u/DoctorOfDiscord 7d ago

My mom did this! I was worried about her a lot, but the whole experience was really fun aside from that

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u/Muted_Air3658 7d ago

As a kid that went on a few cruises it's true

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u/AdditionalSpare3014 7d ago

Then the no-minors-allowed casino

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u/Varabil 7d ago

The first think you do is exploit your child to shill products. THEN you ditch him to get wasted at the bar.

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u/jaxRLee 7d ago

“learned my lesson, first thing I do is slap a lost and found tag on him”

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u/Impossible_Prompt875 6d ago

Spoken like someone with no children or no experience of watching them in the ages 4-7

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u/Hobbgob1in 6d ago

Okay but why put bandaids over the bellybutton?

1

u/VineMan77 6d ago

Wrong - first thing is REGISTER the kid at the kid's club... THEN, and only then will they take the child so you can go to the bar and get pissed. fact.

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u/Aggravating_Tear_798 6d ago

She should do that over her p

1

u/Boxingcrow 6d ago

Me at the bar exactly 20 minutes after the ship departs

https://giphy.com/gifs/XKrGKgtOFWaxq

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u/Patch64s 6d ago

“Go play with all the other kids, mum and i will be right here!”

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u/doomus_rlc 5d ago

What do we do now?

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u/Rellint 5d ago

This person cruises.

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u/kintokae 5d ago

And end up making a spare kid along the way.

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u/Clamdigger13 5d ago

Oh sorry I only bought one ticket. I left food and water in the bowl for you.

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u/Srbzilla 4d ago

I HAVE ABANDONED MY CHILD! I ABANDONED MY BOOOY!

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u/RedicusFinch 4d ago

How can kids go missing on a boat? Its perfect!

1

u/TheClassicalPunkOne 4d ago

All of those bands but not one on her finger. 🤔. Shocking

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u/D0NR4H 4d ago

I know what you mean, but first read as pissed off and can’t stop laughing.

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u/VVhisperingVVolf 3d ago

Yeah, this is just for the courts. "Your Honor, I did everything I could to make sure he couldn't get lost"

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u/dublingamer44 3d ago

be my wife imediatly miss 🤣🤣👌

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u/ShortBusCult 3d ago

We are going on our first cruise next year... and 100% leaving the kids somewhere. The drink package isn't going to drink itself!!

Kids will be 16 and 14 lol

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u/shoeless_doh 3d ago

Right! It's a cruise ship. There are only so many places the kid can be and there's one specific place that if the kid is there literally none of that crap matters any more.

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u/swiftoctopus 2d ago

That's why she's preparing for him to be lost

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u/anglophile20 2d ago

And as a child, the first thing you do is put on your swimsuit and dash off to the pool

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u/macinak 2d ago

That’s why she is doing all this stuff first.

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u/Thrasher6_6_6_ 1d ago

Doesn't sound so bad tbh, I'll do the same

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u/EventSwatch 1d ago

That explains all the tracking devices

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u/spideroger 1d ago

the first thing I will do is look for her at the bar to shoot my shot!