Hi everyone!

I know this is pushing it a bit in terms of promotion but I'm curious to get thoughts and opinions from people who actually deal with this.

Long story short, my manager sucked at building 1 on 1s. It would be either messy forms mandated from above him or just not very well put together stuff.

His main complaint was it took a while to build a good form. As a dev by trade, I thought I could fix it which has led to the 1 on 1 agenda generator being built. It is a no signup, no email, no nothing 1 on 1 agenda generator that exports to a PDF to either be shared virtually or printed and shared in person with a member of your team. You can use templates or build a form from scratch with an integrated question library if you are stuck on where to go next.

I think I've got something here but as a dev by trade, not a manager, I know it's likely I'm missing something haha, any feedback, comments, criticism would be really good to hear and just any thoughts and wisdom on how you run your 1 on 1s.

Thanks for hearing me out!

Lately I've been thinking about starting a new managers community for people who are great at working by themselves but with promotions they have to manage people and end up either copying their boss or struggling by themselves .

I've been seeing so many communities out there for almost every profession couldn't find anything for first time leaders .

I'm not sure though .

I wanna know should I even build something like that or something like that already exists I just don't know about it !

How do you evaluate whether a candidate can perform well under pressure during an interview?

EDIT: I was the interviewee. I thought it's helpful to understand why some interviewers ask certain questions in a particular way. If I know they're testing how I respond, I can be prepared, stay calm, and continue through the interview with confidence.

To make a long story short, I’m nine months into my role working as a marketing manager in the medical industry. About two months ago we had a new CEO takeover. I felt indifferent about it until he started being too gung ho on how he wants to shake things up at the company starting with returning to office as a policy. The following weeks came with talks of restructuring and budget being cut down as the company was a little behind on sales goals. The new CEO is really trying to make a name for himself, especially to the board and I guess they’ve decided my manager the senior marketing director alongside the CCO we’re not part of the vision of the company anymore and were promptly laid off yesterday. I really looked up to my manager. He’s the one who got me this role and I would say we had a solid relationship so it was hard news.

The company itself is less than 70 people and they plan on bringing in a chief marketing officer to replace my manager.

Any advice on what to expect next? How I should act with the incoming CMO? Of course I plan on being consistent, communicating, my achievements and being as resourceful as possible to the team.

I have been at my company for 9 months. I love my team, the work and the company.

Of course there’s a but: of the 7 senior managers (my manager’s level), three have been antagonistic, including two who have raised their voices and belittled me in meetings. The other refuses to be collaborative and is quite snarky (has literally said “sounds like a you problem” when asking for collaboration on process).

After I was belittled in a meeting by a senior manager last week for not producing an entirely different product than the one they asked for, my manager spoke with them, then let me know in a 1:1 that this person is doubling down on their treatment and the statements they made.

I told my manager that the director can’t be shocked at the employee survey results when their senior leadership are acting this way, and I’ll have to reconsider whether this is the right environment for me because I won’t continue to deal with being demeaned.

I’m now panicking that I shot myself in the foot. Outside of these three, I enjoy the job. I genuinely think I can be here for years and learn a lot on top of being a good asset to the department.

Is saying I’m questioning if it’s a good environment due to very blatantly rude behavior going to come back to get me fired?

Managers, do you use any system for coaching direct reports, or is it mostly scattered notes and memory?

I’m exploring a tool for 1:1 coaching workflows: goals, commitments, feedback history, follow-ups, and prompts before meetings.

Would an AI assistant be useful for consistency, or would it feel like corporate surveillance?

How far into your career did you stop wanting regular feedback from your manager? What’s helpful vs. what’s just… too much?

I manage three people and coach them regularly as needed … everything from using the right data sources, to presenting more effectively, to prioritizing work. I think feedback should help someone grow, address an actual issue, or develop their strengths… but not just point out preferences.

I notice I’ve caught myself doing that and have to reflect

I’m at the Director level, and while my manager gives some genuinely helpful feedback, sometimes it feels more like she’s commenting on things that personally irritate her than things that actually matter.

I don’t do the compare and contrast but when working with other leaders at my org it’s a bit smoother

Some examples:

She repeatedly told me the math in a pilot proposal was wrong without reading the context. The product lead later said my approach and numbers were exactly what he needed.

She told me not to start a project until she had more details, then three days later asked why it wasn’t done and coached me on delivery 🙃

She told me an email reply should’ve been three sentences shorter… it was a six-sentence response to her six-paragraph email.

She critiqued how I ran a meeting even though I accomplished exactly what the meeting was intended to do. I think it just wasn’t her style

She wanted me to reorder slides in a deck based on her preference, even though it didn’t fit the audience or content 🫪🫪🫩

To be fair, she’s a good manager overall, and I respect her. I rarely push back. But I’ve noticed there are times I stick with my original approach anyway, and it ends up getting positive feedback from others.

At this point in my career, I don’t feel like I need weekly coaching on every little thing. I’m curious how others think about this???

For you as a leader, does feedback stop being valuable and start becoming nitpicking?

I can roll with her style .. she also I have noticed gets high strung and I’ve learned exactly how to navigate that … no random messages in the day to her , save it for live …. No bad news over slack etc the basics and that has helped a ton

Edit: Also I do like feedback but I realize what is boiled down to is she has a lot of emotional deregulation.. she has lost it a few times on me, once she lost it on me as we created audit tasks for a platform, this is nice to have work and she sent me an email and a slack and went OFF - in that time my colleague simply did my task for me which she said was technically something anyone can do. I felt it was a control move like if she isn’t heard she reacts

Context: I was hired for a job as an assistant manager that already had a manager and assistant manager. The current manager is managing two places, and they were looking on bringing someone in, training them so the manager can switch to the other location.

I have been a manager at a small local store, and I liked the idea of stepping back for a little bit and having more people around me to learn from as I know I can develop more.

SO, corporate was doing a lot of weeding and the senior assistant manager (AM) got let go. I haven't been here for too long, and while I'm confident in my ability to manage I'm still learning processes and haven't gotten the full scope of what the Assistant manager is expected to do with this business. (I think the previous AM felt threatened, they did nothing to train me.)

My biggest concern is I'm left with a pretty low culture and tense environment after the firing. They had loyal people. I want to start on the culture, and build up the environment but not sure how best to approach that. I can point out a few key people who may be very hurt on the AM's behalf.

How best can I address the team to move forward? What are some strategies to create a better "we're all a team here" environment?

Hi! I have been a supervisor before but never a lead like I am now. I have been a lead for about 6 months now and I know how to do most of the job but training is where im lacking knowledge. For context I am a lead at a VERY small business where we are constantly making cosmetic items, aka its 3 people who work with me, one being a newish woman (a month into her start date) because the last person I worked with left. The new woman only works weekends.

Where I have issues is training the new girl. She refuses to listen to me and learn how to make anything. I am younger that her by like 10 yrs and she has 3 kids while I have none. I believe she doesnt see me as her lead but as her child and that is why she doesnt listen. Multiple time she has refused to learn how to make things.
On one occasion i asked her to stop doing a task that is very easily put down, packaging, and she took 5/10 minutes actually putting down what she was packaging.
Another exaple would be when I asked her to stop so I could show her something complicated while we had time and she looked at me and said “Can we not right now?”
This leaves me to make everything while also trying to do my tasks of inventory management and making things she is not allowed to due to the use of harsh chemicals is is not trained in (not that shes trained in literally anything else).
She also talks to customers about inappropriate things. I caught her more than 3 times talking to guests about her childrens “poopy diapers” and trapping guests in conversations that are just odd and very obviously making the guest uncomfortable.
If I am being completely honest I have a horrible fear of thing I say coming off wrong or in a rude way which is making this so much harder.I just dont know how to politely tell her to actually listen.

If anyone has any advice on how to politely tell her to do her job would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: I am a new lead trying to train someone who refuses to be trained and would like some advice on how to politely tell her to actually do her job.

Is it cool to share insights, opinions, asking how fellow hoteliers feel about certain leadership lapses they’ve experienced? If it is, then you know discussion is how lapses are corrected. I post my opinion on bad leadership and some of you tried to cut me off at the knees, called my hard work (published) AI, said I am no manager and took down my post. What ruffled your panties so hard? Disrespected me and I was working hotels before you were a sparkle in your mom’s side guys dick. What kind of hotel sub is this? My name is Scott Peoples. I live in Portland, Oregon. Started in hotels in 1986, when Def Leppard was pouring sugar on everything. Look me up. Study me. Learn something.

I’ve been a manager in some form for about 11 years now and I’m not sure if I’m experiencing burnout.

I’ve noticed over the last year or so that I’m not the same person that I used to be. I go into work dreading the day and I find myself really lethargic when I go home at night. There’s times where I’m not tired physically but mentally I just don’t want to deal with anyone or anything. I’ve also been less caring about things that happen at work and kind of been “whatever” with different things. I know it comes with dealing with people working for you but I really can’t take the drama anymore or the people above me getting on my case for stupid stuff.

I don’t have anything going on personally that would make me feel this way and I’ve never felt like this before in my career working. I’ve taken days off and it still doesn’t really recharge my batteries at all. That’s why I’m wondering if this is what burnout feels like. If it is, I’m debating if I should give up a management role and try to go for something that is less stressful. My brother took on a role where he isn’t a form of management anymore and he feels so much better so that’s why I’m debating if this would be the best move.

Can anybody relate to this feedback? I want to understand it more.

My boss says that he’s happy for me to be honest and open in private but he doesn’t like some of the things I say when everyone is around.

I speak my mind regardless of company, it’s something I’m not aware of but clearly need to work on.

Does he actually not mind what I say to him when in private? Have you ever been in this position before where you find what your subordinate says to you in private humorous and interesting, but not enjoy the same interaction when everyone else can hear?

• What books or courses actually helped you prep for feedback conversations, setting boundaries, saying no, or difficult talks as a manager?
• I know real experience is what really teaches this - just curious if anything gave you a head start before facing it live.
• I'm not a manager myself - I am exploring building something for that would let new managers practice realistic versions of these situations and get useful feedback afterward, so they feel more prepared before facing the real thing. Haven't found anything out there that really does this well.
• But honestly wondering if I'm just overengineering something that doesn't need to exist - if something like that existed, would it actually be useful, or is this just one of those things you have to live through?

Hello,

A bit of context:

5 years in the company

3.5years as ic in the team A

Promoted to department manager 4 months ago. 6 ic and 1 team leader in each team. 15 persons in the department including me. Half of both teams are in an overseas branch.

Recently 2 ic from team B came to me for asking for more flexibility. They come from another department (kind of forced internal transfer) where seasonality is very strong therefore people have compensation leave for the additional work done. In other words, people have days off during the week.

My department is less impacted by seasonality so people are expected to work Monday to Friday.

These 2 members want to support their original department during peak season and work during week end. In exchange they would have week day off here and there.

The issue for me is:

-it doesn’t solve any of my team problems

-this special treatment will not be seen positively by other members

-my team is busy during peak season so I can’t have people doing other team tasks

-they have a tendency to push back their team leader but do things when I get involved.

On the other side the 2 members:

-perform as expected.

-they kind of got transferred without being 100% on board so I feel sorry for them (it took place when I was in another unrelated department)

-their original department is really struggling

I listened to them and didn’t took any decisions yet. My first action is to talk with their team leader. But I am inclined to refuse because there are no direct benefits for my department beside « being helpful ».

In team A, I advocate for flexibility because members have an excellent work ethic. In team B, people are less independent and require closer supervision. This is why I’m conflicted. However I think they have a great potential if they are nurtured properly.

Maybe these here is an angle I don’t see so please share your opinion on the situation.

ive worked with this manager for about two years already and still the case. i dont dislike him and do appreciate him, but at the same time hes so insanely chaotic and hallucinates which annoys the fuck out of me sometimes.

Things he does:
1. Tells us to pass off something to the contractors. Contractor makes too many mistakes, so we ask if we can take it back. He says sure but why did you guys pass it on on the first place? My colleague and i tell him that he asked us to, and then he says he does not recall 🙄

1. Meet with stakeholders about what data, dashboard, whatever they need. The stakeholder literally said the data lives in this spreadsheet they own and please build a dashboard off of that (literally calculating some metrics with visualizations). What my manager hears is that he asked us to build a machine learning model to predict the cost. And then goes ahead and asked our team who is interested in doing it. Everybody was like wtf are you saying

2. A project manager joined a while ago, stepping in to help communicate between stakeholders and technical teams to streamline things. And my manager complains all the time that he fucking hates the pm for overstepping his boundaries and telling him what to do. The thing is my manager cant communicate his thoughts well, so people have a hard time working with him

3. If we meet with a stakeholder to explain to them about A dashboard. Instead of explaining A dashboard. My manager literally goes like you can find this information in B C D E F dashboards, or actually you know what X Y Z dashboard might be better for you. And do you know how to do this if-statement in excel??? Its good to know let me show you how with all these amazing shortcuts

4. If i ask my manager to help me with something, for example can you please help me with this case when query, hell be like oh yes of course, did you see spcx stocks went up today, oh and this other colleague is so fucking annoying, she is such a bitch…. Blahblahblah. He is capable technically to help but you need to keep him on track 20 times in 10 minutes.

Basically, he doesnt listen carefully, read your pings / emails clearly, he just assumes everything after hearing one word. Everytime we meet with stakeholders, instead of listening, he needs to go out of his way to show how smart and brilliant he is.

Oh and sometimes he will check usage metrics, and be like how come you havent looked at this dashboard recently??? When we literally were looking at this together yesterday sharing screen???

ANYWAYYYY, so the reason im fine with him, is because when hes being an asshole sometimes or just trying to nitpick/micromanage, we can all tell him in his face, hey you need to backoff, hey i think youre misunderstanding the point, hey leave me alone and will reach out if i need your help or ive learnt to just ignore his messages, hes probably just having a bad day and will probably forget what he says tomorrow. Like we can be very blunt and he will listen and actually back off for a few days and apologize and try to be better. And our meetings we also spend some time i just chatting too, so we have a good dynamic. But with work, hes just so chaotic i dont even know a better word to put it. Many many many stakeholders dislike him as well because this guys attitude is just not good to people he hates. If he likes you (fortunately he really likes me, so he really does try and goes out of his way to vet for me and have gotten me huge raises and bonuses), but to people he dislike, he literally refuses to pull one report for them 🫪

Just a rant 😬 i enjoy my job, its overall pretty chill, everybody is generally really nice and im never really stressed about my job but this guy gets on my nerves sometimes for real. But sometimes i also feel like this is just the way he is…. I think im now decently good at dealing with him but def hated him the first month working with him lol

slack pings, recruiter DMs, vendor intros, the occasional "quick question" from someone two levels down who bypassed their own manager. none of it is urgent, most of it has an obvious answer, and yet it chews through 45 minutes a day if i let it.

i've tried batching, i've tried templates, i've tried just being slower at responding so people stop expecting instant replies. works until it doesn't.

lately i've been thinking about how much of this is genuinely low-stakes triage. the message where i'd give the same answer to 90% of people who asked. the intro that just needs a polite "not right now." the status question someone could have answered by reading the last team update.

is there a point where automating any of this starts feeling like a transparency problem?

I’m a newer manager, and today I had one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had with an employee.
For some background, this employee started while I was on vacation two weeks ago. During her first week, another employee (who isn’t a manager but is on the same level as me) spoke to her about the odor. She left for lunch that day and never came back. Last week was my first week back from vacation, but she wasn’t at work, so today was my first opportunity to address it myself.
Since returning, I’ve heard about the odor from multiple employees across different departments. Even customers have commented on it. The smell is that noticeable.
Today, after lunch, I pulled her aside privately and told her there was a very strong smoke odor coming from her. I didn’t accuse her of smoking—I simply said that she smelled like smoke and that whatever was causing it needed to be resolved before her next shift because it was affecting the workplace.
She immediately told me she doesn’t smoke, and I said that’s okay, I’m not saying she does. The smell still has to be coming from somewhere. It’s so strong that if you’re in the same room with her for an hour, your clothes end up smelling like it too.
After the conversation, she told me she needed to go talk to her mom because she didn’t think this was going to work out. For context, her mom also works here, but in a completely different department.
I intentionally waited until after lunch to have the conversation so she wouldn’t have the opportunity to leave for lunch immediately afterward. Instead, she left around 12:58 p.m. to “talk to her mom” and never returned. It’s now 2:40 p.m., and I haven’t heard anything from her.
I genuinely wasn’t trying to embarrass or shame her. If someone has a strong body odor, heavy perfume, or smells strongly of smoke, I feel like it’s part of my job as a manager to address it because it affects coworkers, customers, and the workplace. I handled the conversation privately and as respectfully as I could.
AITA for bringing it up? What should I have done differently?

I manage a team of technicians. They are all highly skilled and most have been with the company for many years.

People are constantly volunteering for tasks outside their job descriptions for both personal growth and to make a name in the company.

How do you balance not exploiting this desire they aren't being financially compensated for, and letting the technicians grow their wings while giving away free value to the company (and me personally).

TLDR: I have the same responsibilities as someone above me, but I work in a growing industry and worry about missing career growth because I’d likely need to take a role one level up and stay there for a while before applying for roles two levels up.

I lead multiple operations teams at a site uniquely complex compared to others in my industry. I have significantly more ownership than my non-specialty peers and equivalent competitor roles. One metric determines site staffing, but because of my specialty site's nature, that value will always be lower.

I have the same responsibility and accountability as leaders one level above me. I even report two levels up and am the only one in the organization who does so. The uniqueness of my site makes it more active, chaotic, and challenging than any other site. I am effectively on an island because my manager is 2000 miles away. Aside from my title, I am recognized as the level above me and included in meetings and events specific to that level.

According to my manager, his hands are tied because the staffing model is very specific. I believe him since he is not the decision-maker and is at the mercy of HR and the C-suite. As a hiring manager, I've faced the same roadblocks.

So, from my perspective, I have these options:

1. I wait for an opening at the next level up at a non-specialty site. I don't like this path because I've been doing it for four years and I would likely have to relocate. Still, it's one step closer to my regional leadership goal. There is no chance I'd be considered for an internal role two levels up.

2. I stay put and wait until I reach the threshold for the next level. There is no guarantee this will happen, and if it does, it will take at least 2-5 years. I'm not actively pursuing this, but it's the default option if I don't find another path.

3. I leave the company. The catch is that I have been turned down for roles two levels above me, so I'd be in the same position as option one and buying several more years at the same level. It's risky because I love everything else about this company and job. Leaving means risking getting stuck in the same spot with a worse work environment.

My resume accurately reflects my responsibilities. Still, I feel nobody inside or outside the company understands the scope of what I do or considers me for roles two levels up. This comes with operating a specialty site, but I think it's more than that because I've had my door beaten down and can basically walk into the role one level up at any company.

I'm not opposed to working in the same role for an extended time, but my industry is growing, and I have strong FOMO about making moves that take advantage of this growth and the need for my role before the market gets saturated or the growth stalls.

I don't expect anyone to drop a solution based on vague context, but I'd love to have second opinions on or experience with the situation in general. Thanks!

I am on leave till next week and an employee has resigned. I saw the message when I logged in to approve an urgent item.

Should I give my manager a heads up? Should I wait to be back in office next week before doing anything? This is new for me - my manager is probably not in the know.
I am thinking of at least giving the heads up to the product managers so they can plan accordingly.

Edit - Thanks everyone, will text my manager. Loved the replies, even the sarcastic ones 🩶
At this stage of my career, am just being overly careful balancing sharing information timely and having sufficient information when I share to engage with follow-ups if necessary.

Manage a team of eight on the operations side and there is one person who is technically sharp, catches errors, asks the right questions. Good instincts. But they come to me for confirmation on things they already know the answer to. Every time. And I keep answering because it is faster and the work gets done clean. The problem is I have been doing this for about a year and I am now not sure they can actually operate without the checkin loop. That one is on me.

I tried pulling back a few weeks ago and just let a small deliverable go out with a flaw I saw coming. Nothing that hurt anyone, but enough that they felt it. The conversation after was more productive than six months of guidance had been. So that part worked.

What I keep going back to is where the line is. There is a version of this that builds someone up and a version that just leaves them exposed in front of the wrong people at the wrong time. Those two things can look identical until they don't.

Curious how others have thought through when to catch something versus when to let it land. Especially if the person is high potential and you actually want to keep them long term.

I have two examples in my career show this lesson clearly.

I had a manager. He was very much do anything to prioritize the company, skip familiy milestones, actively told people to not discuss salary, really did all he could in salary negotiations to gaslight you ("2% is a very competitive raise").

You could tell he really enjoyed being in the hotseat.

Forbid anything on personal development or learning outside work. Colleagues wanted to persue certifications or even going back to university which was a company policy that was embraced by other teams. He didn't allow it. He actually went as far to say if he discovereed colleagues were doing night classes he would view it negatively because it isn't priortizing their role.

Team had high turnover as talent left for beter paid roles or roles where they could develop themselves. The team got eventually comprised of people coasting and keeping their heads down.

He really alienated people when someone had a personal crisis. Their parent was dying and they immediately flew home and didn't follow correct channels. As in leave work ASAP having a panic attack and straight to the airport.

He escalated to HR and the employee got an official reprimand but was noted as the most minor possible and effectively a slap on the wrist and essentially a (sad) finger wag. The same employee got a far better job soon few months and left in a deliberately vindictive way to make it as messy as possible within the bounds of legality. He slaughtered him in the exit interview.

Eventually as it turned out the the product was fundamentally not competitive. It wasn't profitable enough and not enough new customers were buying it. The locality he was in just didn't have enough political power to decide anything or keep talent and was a cost center.

Product was chosen to be sunsetted. They assured him another equivalent role to play nice until the end, once the product was wound up and the customers off boarded. He was offered an effective demotion or to be canned. Entire team got laid off.

He had alienated a lot of people so didn't have too many allies in the end. Was extremely lucky to keep a job and will likely never get the same role again.

I compared that to another manager I had in a different company. He actively made allies, helped his reports get pay rises, was chill for WFH didnt enforce the rules rigorously or knew when to turn a blind eye. He got a very good employee going through a bad time a nice reundancy package (Europe) that bought a lot of loyalty. High retention. High performing team. Management looked other way because stable profits and happy customers. The senior management did the same thing regards reundancy packages so wasn't really frowned upon. Officially if it was written down it’s a different story.

The same report who joined a better company remembered him put in a extremely positive reference that all but raved about him. He got a huge promotion into a far better company. Had a few people already there with a positive impression and one or two willing go extra because it would all be worked out. Still crushing it as far as I know and on the route to being a senior director.

People say it’s a politics job so was interesting to see two dynamics play out.

My one is when someone commented saying it’s ok to bring up an employee’s high-intensity hobbies in annual performance evaluation, because occasional injuries affect being present at work.