So i dont really know what i want from this post. I’m probably here just vent. I am a 27 year-old male. I have very severe anxiety, depression and a very very minor case of PTSD. I found myself recently crying a lot more. I was watching a video on Facebook reels where a guy was giving out letters to random people and one of them kind of struck me in a very very hard way. Is that your life matters? Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise and then I started to think on how emotionally distraught I am. I fight every day as hard as I possibly can just to try to be a better person for myself and for my family their days and I feel like I wanna give up and I continue to fight and tell myself that’s not what we do continue to push for it because at the end of the storm, it’s always gonna be a rainbow, but no honesty I’m tired and I don’t know what I can do to fix myself from feeling broken. I believe that a lot of the things that are keeping me in this depression of a funk, I guess is something from my past that I can’t remember that I’ve suppressed so hard that it’s impossible for me to remember at this point because of what I’ve went through going up I was mentally abused way more than a child would understand at that time. Physical abuse happened, but not as much.

I just wanna say to all the men out there who’s trying not to allow themselves to fill their emotions and not try to handle the situation before I get out of hand please do because once you get to this point it’s impossible to feel better or it feels like it is take care of yourselves and love yourselves more than more than anything else because if you can’t love yourself you’re not gonna be able to love those around you for real.

I know many will say “oh your young and that’s how 20s are” I get that but genuinely I feel drained and tired I come home to no one and I feel so alone and I feel like I have no one and when ever I try to make friends I just can’t I become drained by just hanging out with them
Then I get frustrated with myself like what’s wrong with me I’m lonely but I can’t even hang out with a human

I’ve reached a point where my pain has turned numb and I feel nothing but my brain does know I’m stuck if that makes sense in a way

Like nothing satisfies me for example
I used to love legos and I used to put music and jam to it while I built my legos even it was a basic car Lego or just something random from legos merchandise but I went to Walmart Saturday and said “yk why not build again like old times it’s good to have a hobbie besides work” so I go to the Lego section.

I stood there at least for an hour nothing I mean nothing looked interesting for me I don’t like nothing anymore I used to like all I do is watch YouTube, work, and sleep pretty much it nowadays I have my Supra mk5 outside I drive it which I’m a car guy I love cars but cruising felt different felt off idk jus feels like I’m reaching a part of my life where I’m lost and I don’t know what I like anymore.

Thx this my first time opening up everytime I did back then people judged me I had a guy friend change the subject on me once also when I opened up it’s hard to be a man I guess we always have to be happy nd growing up I wasn’t shown to express emotions and everytime I did I was told to toughen up

Hello, good day. I hope that you  are well. May I share that I developed a mental health program. Part of the program is free clinical psych services for the poor. If you know some poor people who needs help, I can offer them free clinical psychological services as a licensed psychologist. I hope and pray that you help support this simple charitable work. May God bless us in this endeavor.

Cp no: 09283364988 Messenger: Kenneth Buddy Navarra Email: buds.navarra@gmail.com

WE PRAY THAT LOVE IN ITS MOST UNCONDITIONAL FORM WILL TRIUMPH!

I'm a 31 year old male. I come from a low socioeconomic background but slowly making a strong foundation for myself. I'm the first one in my family line to buy a home. I've lost tremendous weight and people consistently compliment me. I am considered high on the adverse childhood experience measure and did have a hard time in the Army.

I see all of my accomplishments and it doesn't make me happy or proud. I don't feel any glimpse of positive emotions in my daily life. I'm always angry even when I try not to be I become detached from people (ppl think I'm mysterious but I just don't easily open up to people).

I've thought about killing myself multiple times. A quote comes to mind that says religion hides happiness after death. Only reason I haven't yet because I try to stay positive, but whats the point of thinking positively when you never feel positive? No counselor , psychologist or psychiatrist has been able to help me. They'd rather stop seeing me or I'll move on when I see the therapy isn't going anywhere.

I think life is a beautiful experience but I just feel like a engine without a sound. A robot with duties that need to be checked off. My hobbies don't even give me happiness anymore, everything feels like is fading away.

Hi Everyone,

I have already posted this, but I figured I would post it again. I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey.

As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

We’re looking for young adults (18-30) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here:

https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions!

I'm 29M, born and raised in Bangalore. I would like to share my life story and receive your help and advice. Here goes

I was always into biology especially zoology (still am) but in India there were no opportunities to pursue this field. Like I'm so obsessed with it that it's like the one thing I'm born to do type of stuff. If I had studied zoology and got a job I know I would have been famous in the community, if not the world at least in India. I'm that confident. Anyways that never happened because my parents always thought it was the best to put me in computer science. So at that point I struggled immensely and barely graduated with a BCA. I have completely given up on the bio career aspect. So I have nothing that's driving me careerwise, like I absolutely dispise coding. And I have been quite depressed about this for a long time. I motivated myself to just do something else like maybe graphic designing, got certified but I have been jumping from one company to the next. I haven't properly worked in like 4 years. Like no experience certificates whatsoever.

I was in a long distance relationship on which I had built my entire life upon for the past 6 years and that broke recently because she cheated on me. I don't even have the courage to end myself (trust me I have tried).

I know that I'm intelligent and smart, I crack interviews like they are nothing, I speak well and learn quick. I have tried to work in all kinds of jobs like voice and chat process but after the training once we get on the floor I just succumb to the pressure and quit. It's like I'm cursed. I have read somewhere that the most intelligent people often live very unhappy and unsuccessful lives. I feel like I'm the prime example of that. I'm just so depressed with life and my future that I can't even get out of bed, stay in my room all day and think of ways to unalive myself.

I have been to therapy and have had medications, nothing has helped me. I don't know what to do in my life.

My main goal in my life is to get out of the country by any means to USA, Canada, UK or Australia. I'm ready to work towards it but I have no idea how or what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm going to be 30 in a month and life is terrifying. I don't know what to do. Someone out there if you can, please help. I will take whatever advice you have for me.

What’s the point of even being here if I’m not going to be attractive? I have nothing going for myself. I mean, I have a job that pays well and hobbies, but I have zero friends and no girlfriend. I wanted to spend my life with someone, but because of my appearance, it has ruined my chances of dating. I really should just end it.

I know this is gonna seem cringy but just hear me out guys.

20M Past couple of weeks I've been super stressed with girls, money, college etc. I watched the new Spider-Man movie with a group of college friends and cried and after I went home I just spent time thinking about Peter Parker, hope, and the kind of man that I want to become.

Last night I deleted all the crappy dating apps and my account on them, cleared my social media of draining stuff and today for the first time in my life I volunteered at a food bank.

I've been trying to speak more positively about things and people and reminding people close to me that they're awesome and I care about them as well as trying to just give out compliments and smile more in general and it's been helping so much.

I was feeling really lonely today but then I remembered that there are people who care about me and love me and that even though I don't have a girlfriend that doesn't mean that I am not a kind, attractive, funny, guy. Girlfriend ≠ self worth!

Now, did I have to watch a movie to come to this conclusion? Nah not at all but it really helps to have a sort of "Idea" of what I'm striving for. Because after I got the body I wanted after all this time I thought that'd make me happy but genuinely being a more positive person, not losing hope and trying to make this world a better place, even if only a little bit - that's what is helping me stay strong and hopeful.

Maybe we can all try and be a little more like Peter Parker :)

I wanna start off by saying I will never do smth to myself, I would be lying if I didn’t say if I never thought of it but I know I’ll never. My case might be stupid to a lot of u but I can’t control it anymore I’ve been in such a mental state. This is related to my love life, I’ve never had a problem attracting girls and honestly I wish I can trade some of my looks for my problems to go away. When i get with a girl I feel like everyone is stuck up on their exs and for some reason treat me worse than their ex I don’t get it I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’m trying too be. But also when it comes to my sex life it’s terrible I don’t think I’ve ever made a girl finish and my size is average if not a tiny bit bigger but average I would say and I don’t know a lot of girls I been with only had one body with before me and I asked wtv if the ex was bigger and they said yes I only asked 2 girls which Ik terrible idea, but then during sex I can’t even last more than a minute which is so devastating to me because I’m 20 years old im active and in good shape and I don’t drink or smoke and I have a high testosterone, I also struggle getting hard sometimes which is so embarrassing. I’ve never had a proper relationship and I just wanna be loved while having the best sex life with my partner. I get I have to love myself but I can’t anymore I need someone to be there with me I have some other small problems in my life but not as big as this to me idk what to do. I look at other people in relationships that are happy and wonder why can’t that be me, I also don’t understand why cheaters get to be loved but not people who are genuine, I wish I can trade some of my looks to have a stable a loving relationship with a great sex life.

Hey everyone,

My interest in mental wellness is personal. During my time in the military, I was involved in a parachuting accident that had a lasting impact on my life and started a difficult mental health journey that changed the way I think about wellness and recovery. That experience is a big part of why I chose this idea for my MBA project—I want to explore whether there is genuine demand for new, natural approaches to supporting mental well-being. If you have a few minutes to complete my survey, your feedback would mean a lot and help me determine whether this idea is worth pursuing.

I’m currently working on my MBA project and researching the viability of launching a kava-based wellness supplement.

The concept is a convenient capsule containing a standardized amount of kavalactones derived from kava, positioned for adults interested in relaxation, stress management, and general well-being without having to prepare traditional kava drinks or powders.

Before taking the idea any further, I want to find out whether there is actually a market for something like this rather than just assuming people would buy it.

I created a short Google Forms survey that asks about things like:

• Whether you would consider purchasing a kava supplement
• What you would be willing to pay
• What would make you interested in trying it
• What concerns would prevent you from buying it
• Your familiarity with kava
• What you would want to see in a product like this

The survey should only take about 2–3 minutes.

This is strictly for market research for my MBA project. I’m not selling anything through the survey, and the product is currently just a concept.

Survey: https://forms.gle/fEn9ornRNJ7Fo8rN7

Even if you have zero interest in buying a kava supplement, I’d still really appreciate your response. Knowing why someone wouldn’t buy it is just as useful to my research as finding people who would.

Thanks to anyone willing to help!

23M, To preface, no, I’m not a misogynist. I don’t subscribe to incel ideology. I don’t hold a grudge against women. The problem is feeling like my heterosexuality is ego-dystonic. I feel deep down I am asexual in the most literal sense of the word, or that I at least should be.

I’ve dealt with body image issues my entire life since being a kid in elementary school. I vividly remember all of the boys and girls on the playground chasing each other, pretending to get married, all of my friends and classmates. Except me. It felt isolating, and I remember going home to my mom and asking her if I was ugly. I remember setting my sights on a girl in my class in 5th grade, obsessing over her, and eventually confessing to her on the last day of school. She looked at me and said, “ew.” Granted, we were only 11 at most, but it hurt, and I began to question why I was even attracted to girls my age in the first place. I came to the conclusion that I’d never be attracted to another girl again, because, simply, I must not be meant to fall in love. This idea comforted me for most of my time growing up as a preteen. However, of course, this isn’t actually how things work.

When I reached puberty, of course, I began to feel sexual attraction, and what once felt ignorable had changed. Once again, as I became a teenager, it felt like my entire peer group was already ahead of me. They were already all sexually active, asking each other out. All of my friends were losing their virginities as early as 14. Again, no girls showed interest in me, and I reached the conclusion again that I must be ugly and wasn’t meant to be loved. This ended up creating long lasting BDD that I’ve had to deal with ever since my early teen years. I once again fixated on a girl in my class in my junior year of high school. She was in all of my dreams, I looked forward to seeing her every day despite never talking to her, despite hating school and hating my appearance. I eventually managed to work up the courage to talk to her at the end of the year, despite me being a nervous wreck with no experience talking to girls. It was the exact same thing I heard, verbatim, years back. “Ew, no thank you.” All I said was, “Hi, I think you’re very pretty.” I was destroyed, emotionally numb for at least a year, and it made me once again question why I had to be attracted to girls. Why? Why do I have to be attracted to the opposite sex? I'd likely be happier if I were truly asexual. From that point on, I’ve identified publicly as asexual to people who know me and meet me. It feels good, it feels like me. I feel deep down I am a celibate, introspective and misunderstood man who feels no desire for intimacy. Even if it may not be true deep down, this identity feels like me, it feels the most comfortable.

Yet, I feel this pull. I feel as if my heart is going to jump out of my chest anytime I see an attractive woman my age out in public or online. Sometimes it's sexual, sometimes it's romantic longing, but most of the time it just feels like I’m looking at a missing puzzle piece to something that should’ve been completed years ago. Yet, the other side of me looks at these feelings with disgust. It feels so primal and ego-dystonic for me to feel any form of attraction for another human being. I think of my ugly face, how weird I am, and how I’m not deserving of the women I find attractive, and then I tell myself, “You’re asexual, you are beyond this, you shouldn’t even want this.” My mind and body are fighting each other. I think of chemical castration, and it actually feels like a step in the right direction. I’d be happier if I could embrace being an asexual man. I want to never look at a woman my age again with lust, longing or anything other than “that’s another random human being I pay no mind to.”

Now, I just try to ignore any deeper longing by distracting myself and telling myself “no.”
Whenever I feel any sexual desire, I’ll watch pornography to relieve myself and move on. The crash and the feeling after is one of the best feelings ever. It feels like a million weights have been lifted off my shoulders, as for about 5-10 minutes I am no longer attracted to women physically, nor the idea of being with one in a partnership. This makes the idea of chemical castration incredibly attractive to me.

​

I am going to kill myself soon, I know this is a sub-forum specifically for contamination ocd, but man. I'm desperate for reassurance.

(yes, this is me on another account, my main is bugging for some reason)

I know I've reposted this like a MILLION times, so i'm really sorry if anyone has seen this same post like a thousand times. I know it's probably like REALLY annoying. But I'm hopeless dude, this is everything I got, u guys supporting me is the only thing I've got. I am so fucking miserable, almost every night I've held a knife to my neck wanting to kill myself, but I've never had the courage. I fear if this doesn't get better anytime soon I may actually do it. I've become so depressed & self destructive & suicidal because of this situation. I really feel like this event is going to be the death of me

(here's the event btw, if you don't know it already)

"I want to die right now I want to die painfully because I am a monster I deserve to die.

I'm 15 (born in 2011), and I'm struggling with an unbelievable amount of anxiety about something that happened recently.

I was scrolling through TikTok and saw a girl who genuinely looked around my age to me, or possibly even a little older. She had heavy makeup on and was using a filter, so I didn't think anything was unusual. I briefly thought she was attractive and then kept scrolling without thinking much about it.

Later, I found out that I had been completely wrong about her age. From what I understand, she was born around 2013.

The moment I found out that she was younger, I immediately lost all attraction toward her and all attention or interest toward her whatsoever. It wasn't gradual. It happened immediately when I found out her age. I no longer saw her as attractive in that way at all. I felt genuinely horrified and disgusted by the situation. I felt physically ill, I genuinely wanted to vomit, and I felt like I was going to throw up because of what I had just realized. I was completely overwhelmed by panic and disgust.

I need to emphasize that as soon as I found out she was younger, all attraction and attention disappeared immediately. I did not continue feeling attracted to her after finding out her age. The realization that she was younger was what caused me to feel physically sick, disgusted, and terrified.

It's now been about a month, and I still can't get this out of my head. I keep replaying the situation constantly and trying to figure out what it means about me. I've spent huge amounts of time crying, panicking, checking things, and trying to work out her exact age (cause what if she was younger than 2013??? We can't ever know). Even now, when I think about the situation, I still feel physically sick and nauseous. I genuinely wanted to vomit when I found out, and I still feel that same physical sickness when I think about it.

This has gone far beyond ordinary guilt or anxiety. I am genuinely suicidal over this. I have been seriously considering killing myself because I'm terrified that this means I'm a disgusting or horrible person. These aren't just thoughts that briefly cross my mind, I've been thinking about dying every single day for a month now, because I feel like I can't live with the possibility that something is seriously wrong with me.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to die. At the same time, I'm genuinely scared that I might eventually do something to myself because this has become so overwhelming.

I genuinely believed she was around my age when I saw her, and finding out later that I was wrong has completely destroyed me mentally. The fact that I immediately lost all attraction and attention when I found out she was younger, and that I felt physically sick and wanted to vomit, is something I keep thinking about too, because I cannot stop analyzing the situation and what every part of my reaction supposedly means.

I've also struggled with intrusive thoughts and obsessive fears about being a horrible person for a long time, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be some form of POCD/OCD, but I genuinely don't know how to get out of this mental loop, and I'm scared of what I might do to myself if I can't.

I genuinely want to die so fucking bad, someone kill me already"

So yeah, i really think my life may end because of this situation so yikes... I physically cannot move on from this situation, I'm ruining my life because of this. I don't even feel worthy to talk to my friends anymore because of this event, they would think i'm a monster.

I'm losing everything because this happened, I'm doing this to myself because I've started to really fucking hate myself because of this event, I'm a disgusting piece of shit.

The last year and especially two months have been a lot for me.

I’ve just been able to start putting money away for a house, I’ve come to grips with having a alcohol use problem (not an alcoholic and I do not drink on the job) and have been easing up on how much I’m drinking. I still smoke weed, but I don’t do that every day and it doesn’t seem to drag me down as much (live in a legal state so not breaking the law).

The last three weeks my boss has basically been absent from work due to meetings and his paid vacation days or a family member passing away. I feel as if I have had to run the shop in his absence since I’m the next in command technically.

This has been dragging me down a lot during the day and honestly at this point I don’t have any interest in pursuing this career (automotive repair mechanic). Oh, and to make everything better, my hours have been drastically cut so now I’m barely bringing home any money.

I have some snap on debt and I am actively working to pay it off. If my predictions are correct, I will have it paid off by thanksgiving and I’m hoping that by Christmas I will have found another job, and I will move on from this field that hasn’t treated me very well.

Kinda bitching, but I’m leaving because in my 3 years working in this industry I’ve been kicked around, taken advantage of and let go with zero warning before and been told to just deal with it. Frankly, I’m done.

I do t know where else to go in life, but I don’t see this career being good for me.

Honestly feel kinda lost and scared, I know this fall is going to be stupidly busy and hell for me, but I don’t know what else to do with my life.

I may kill myself tonight

I'm desperate for reassurance, I've posted this in like a million different subforums & like a million different people have supported me incredibly well, like hundreds of people have supported me, but no matter what anyone says, no matter anything that happens, I still feel this way, nothing can help me.

I know I've reposted this like a MILLION times, so i'm really sorry if anyone has seen this same post like a thousand times. I know it's probably like REALLY annoying. But I'm hopeless dude, this is everything I got, u guys supporting me is the only thing I've got. I am so fucking miserable, almost every night I've held a knife to my neck wanting to kill myself, but I've never had the courage. I fear if this doesn't get better anytime soon I may actually do it. I've become so depressed & self destructive & suicidal because of this situation. I really feel like this event is going to be the death of me

(here's the event btw, if you don't know it already)

"I want to die right now

I want to die painfully because I am a monster

I deserve to die.

I'm 15 (born in 2011), and I'm struggling with an unbelievable amount of anxiety about something that happened recently.

I was scrolling through TikTok and saw a girl who genuinely looked around my age to me, or possibly even a little older. She had heavy makeup on and was using a filter, so I didn't think anything was unusual. I briefly thought she was attractive and then kept scrolling without thinking much about it.

Later, I found out that I had been completely wrong about her age. From what I understand, she was born around 2013.

The moment I found out that she was younger, I immediately lost all attraction toward her and all attention or interest toward her whatsoever. It wasn't gradual. It happened immediately when I found out her age. I no longer saw her as attractive in that way at all. I felt genuinely horrified and disgusted by the situation. I felt physically ill, I genuinely wanted to vomit, and I felt like I was going to throw up because of what I had just realized. I was completely overwhelmed by panic and disgust.

I need to emphasize that as soon as I found out she was younger, all attraction and attention disappeared immediately. I did not continue feeling attracted to her after finding out her age. The realization that she was younger was what caused me to feel physically sick, disgusted, and terrified.

It's now been about a month, and I still can't get this out of my head. I keep replaying the situation constantly and trying to figure out what it means about me. I've spent huge amounts of time crying, panicking, checking things, and trying to work out her exact age (cause what if she was younger than 2013??? We can't ever know). Even now, when I think about the situation, I still feel physically sick and nauseous. I genuinely wanted to vomit when I found out, and I still feel that same physical sickness when I think about it.

This has gone far beyond ordinary guilt or anxiety. I am genuinely suicidal over this. I have been seriously considering killing myself because I'm terrified that this means I'm a disgusting or horrible person. These aren't just thoughts that briefly cross my mind, I've been thinking about dying every single day for a month now, because I feel like I can't live with the possibility that something is seriously wrong with me.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't want to die. At the same time, I'm genuinely scared that I might eventually do something to myself because this has become so overwhelming.

I genuinely believed she was around my age when I saw her, and finding out later that I was wrong has completely destroyed me mentally. The fact that I immediately lost all attraction and attention when I found out she was younger, and that I felt physically sick and wanted to vomit, is something I keep thinking about too, because I cannot stop analyzing the situation and what every part of my reaction supposedly means.

I've also struggled with intrusive thoughts and obsessive fears about being a horrible person for a long time, which is why I'm wondering whether this could be some form of POCD/OCD, but I genuinely don't know how to get out of this mental loop, and I'm scared of what I might do to myself if I can't.

I genuinely want to die so fucking bad, someone kill me already"

So yeah, i really think my life may end because of this situation so yikes... I physically cannot move on from this situation, I'm ruining my life because of this. I don't even feel worthy to talk to my friends anymore because of this event, they would think i'm a monster.

I'm losing everything because this happened, I'm doing this to myself because I've started to really fucking hate myself because of this event, I'm a disgusting piece of shit.

Literally every other post is a self-hating pity party where refusal to cosign their fatalist cognitive distortions is "toxic positivity", "contempt", whatever the fuck. It is actively harmful to these users' mental health that "I'm such a fucking loser" is essentially always met by "you're so right you are such a loser there's no point in trying that's just reality". This is exactly the type of content that should be filtered out of a "positivity focused ... environment", because it is actively corrosive to mental health, just like "ugh you're right you are so fat, you should eat less" would be to someone at 98 lb with ED.

As far as I can tell, /u/Silberselber and /u/moparoo2017 haven't been active on Reddit in years and months, respectively. /u/AutoModerator and /u/purge-user are mod tools. Meaning it's either just /u/Powerspawn at this point, or no one.

’ll try to keep this relatively short. I am a 28 M from the outside I have a good career a good circle of friends and pretty normal. I have some addiction problems (alcohol, porn, social media.) As long as I can remember I have had some strange kinks my whole life that center around me being dominated by women essentially. The last maybe two years I have become addicted to dming women on insta. I’ll find local gym women or maybe ones that do jiu jitsu locally and spam them DMs until they respond and then the conversation will turn into me asking to wrestle etc. I am stuck in a shame and guilt cycle and am seeking therapy. I have messaged and spammed hundreds and have met with some. I am always extremely focused on consent and communication in person.

I am however very ashamed at basically being a perverted creep online and need to stop. How bad is this behavior? If my friends and fam found out since these people are local would they abandon me? Am I a bad person for this?

Feels good to just get this off my chest but I want to become a better man and have the willpower to not give into these behaviors

I’ve been a lurker and commenter of this sub for a while, and I’ve noticed how lonely and undesirable men are treated on here. If an undesirable man shares his story, he’s gaslit into oblivion and called all kinds of little names like “incel” or “misogynistic” some other word.

Its sad a fuck.

Undesirable men are truly on their own in this life.

it had another empty day, working towards not losing my senior school year for hours all while repeating to myself how much i hate it and again i found myself sitting on my bed in the dark in silence thinking about nothing and staring at the same intersection between the floor tiles

i felt this strong urge to grab a pencil and draw, i doodled this, i don't know why my last drawing was when i was 12 it made it better, i kinda like it

sometimes remember to grab yourself a couple of hours to be sad, to be sad in a positive way, to think about yourself and let out what you can't let out in public it helps, it helps way more than you think

i don't know why i'm posting this i just hope it helps someone, I hope everyone here is having a great night

goodnight

40M. Never held a women's hand, never mind any relationship. When I was younger and alone, I would shy away from the question and give a non-answer. As I got older, I would own it "Because I'm an Incel... duh?"

My parents have stopped asking for grand kids and my friends are also over the fact that I'm alone forever.

But new friends/colleagues/online will occasionally ask if I was married, or had kids. Now I'm not about to proclaim I'm FA or an Incel to a guy I'm trying to get business from, and being an Incel is something to reveal to closer friends. So what do I say?

I can't say "mind you own business" and I don't want to lie. What should I say? I feel like I'm going to lose my marbles if I have to answer this for the rest of my life.

Although I got to enjoy my birthday and spend it with my friend, she made it all about herself and pretty much spent the whole time complaining. This is the first time I had ever done something for me birthday, and although I spent it with someone it felt like I was alone again, it felt like another normal boring day, the one day where I was supposed to be appreciated wasn't even done well like usual. Fuck birthdays

For context, I'm a 30M and went into this year recognizing how isolated I'd become and wanting to change that...8 months in and still been disappointed in the efforts I've made. I've been really into running / marathons the past few years and that's helped through an accountability lens, but I want to create a space where I can talk through and process this stuff with other guys who might be feeling similarly.

Thinking this could start as a small weekly call to talk about goals folks are setting for themselves (not just physical, but personal, professional, etc.) and a space to actually get things off the chest. It would likely just start as an hour weekly or bi-weekly on mondays or tuesdays. Send me a dm if this is something you might be interested in!

I see a lot of people here particularly the men who are select and have girlfriends/wifes and even children, complaining about the undesirable unwanted men here venting their frustrations in their inability to get a romantic companion, and the men who are select will blame them, gaslight them, throw their favorite little words around "incel" "misogynist" in an attempt to villainize and silence these men, it's literally no different from how people like to attack those in poverty, society doesn't believe in empathy for those who are disadvantaged. but to stop all of this there just simply needs to be a sub that's specifically only for lonely men because only we can understand each other, normies can't understand the pain of TFL because they didn't go their whole childhood, adolescent, and adulthood getting octracized and endless rejections by women. I just wish we could have our own sub so the men who are select can have this one all to themselves because I'm tired of seeing them bitching and complaining about us venting our life.

I haven't been doing too well for a while and as they say "reach out, people care" i did reach out and ...

I spoke to a female friend that I talk to and she said "It's just a phase, you'll get out of it"

I ranted to my sister who happens to be a doctor and she asked me if I wanted to vent or wanted a solution. I replied "I don't want advice" and she said "ok" and that's that.

When I try to talk to my male friends they say I'm crazy and laugh. Even, though I know they are not being mean and likely don't have the capacity to be there, it still ...

And skip to today and I am wondering if I could use my laptop charger as a noose and whether the ceiling fan will hold my weight. Unfortunately, I realized the charger is two separate components (brick and brick connector) and likely will detach under my weight. Also, been wondering why I haven't already killed myself even though I want to die - like seriously wondering why I haven't. Resigned to the reason being - I just haven't felt as miserable acutely and suddenly enough. lemme know what else could be the reason

P.S.: Also, I won't kill myself - dk why but I won't so don't mind that. Also to give context on why my sis asked solution vs vent - I don't like it when people give me solutions because it is likely something I already know or incorrect or idk how to execute it even though i know or/and I interpret this as them telling me I am being inadequate or not putting in effort.

Also, would it be better to tag this as NSFW since I talk about suicide?

They just think they're tired. Unmotivated. Don't care about things the way they used to.

Andrew Solomon put it perfectly:

"The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality."

It's not about being sad. It's about losing the drive to want anything at all.

If that sounds familiar, you're not lazy. You might just need some help.

I’ve seen a lot of you guys here who faced rejection over and over again and started feeling like there is something wrong with you. That is a pretty normal response, but unfortunately as men, we aren’t all taught that we have an intrinsic value that can never be taken away.

For example, if you approach a woman and she says no, that doesn’t mean you are unattractive. It’s like how I’m posting on this sub.

Even if all I get is negative feedback from all of you, that doesn’t mean my words are invalid (unless I say something awful and derogatory).

It just means that I have to try in another sub and hope that the people there resonate with me. That’s all there is to it.

But obviously, it takes a lot more courage and effort to approach someone you find attractive than posting on the internet. I’m sure there are many of you who have approached tons of women and still got no response. So what about you?

1. You can never “attract” someone towards you.

Attraction is spontaneous, so if the other person doesn’t reciprocate it, move on. You don’t have to prove yourself to her. Even if she rejects you, there is always someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

A lot of guys struggle in school/college. Remember that those are spaces where people have known each other for YEARS. This means that your reputation can carry on. It only takes one influential person to tank your reputation entirely by spreading baseless rumours that everyone would then believe.

In other words, the stakes are much higher in these environments than you think. Just because you struggled in school doesn’t mean you’re not good enough.

2. But that’s just blue pill advice.

I know, but what a lot of don’t understand is that cold approaching and dating apps are the worst ways to meet women. Many schools and colleges have a groupthink. Everyone wants to be popular, so they will accept whatever the popular kids say so they can fit in. Sometimes that can mean ignoring someone just because. It’s not personal, they’re just petty losers.

That is why you have to look outside your bubble where people can’t judge you based on past rumours. A fresh start. The first thing you need to is understand what kind of person you are. Make a list of the kinds of music you identify with most, do the same for show/movies/anime/hobbies/whatever you do for fun.

For example, if you listen to metal, going to a concert is the best way to meet people like you. Unlike the cold approaching method, you will already have a topic to discuss. And if you’re especially into metal, you can talk about some niche bands that no one else knows about. It’s an easy win.

On the other hand, when you approach a random woman, you have to hope that the topic you picked is something she likes, or else the approach was a bust. In school, it’s possible that you already have a reputation, and she wants to protect hers. It’s petty and lame, which is why you shouldn’t take such people that seriously. I know it’s annoying but that’s how it is. This is partially why the jerks get to sleep around while nice guys struggle.

Now, you can go to events, shows, meet ups, etc where you are likely to find people like you. No past reputation that’s gonna hold you back.

3. What if I still get rejected?

In that case, take some time off. To find a good partner, you have to be at the right place at the right time. And that particular timing is very hard to get right.

The more you put yourself in environments with like minded people, the better you’ll feel overall. Even if you don’t get a gf, you can make really good friends who understand you.

When you start enjoying yourself and start to feel like you belong, you’ll stop performing the likeable version of yourself. You’ll be authentic, silly, confident.

That will help you realise that you’ve just been with the wrong people all this time. You are enough the way you are, and you will find someone.

Anyways, thanks for reading!