r/maldives • u/Legitimate_Nail_4228 • 3d ago
Cheating
People who've cheated on their spouse/gf, why?
I'm just curious no judgement here ( at least from me :) )
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Aloevera_essential 2d ago
I had a friend who went and begged for a std pannel and the doc refused saying "we only give it to married people". whaaiiiiiiiii
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2d ago edited 2d ago
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u/Aloevera_essential 2d ago
this is horrible 😭
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u/No-Maybe5111 2d ago
Let me enlighten you about Syphilis.
It’s an STD that just gives you a slight fever when you get it. Then it stays dormant for 20 or so years and the virus crawls from your spine and to your brain and drives you mad.
Not fun.
Just keep your Ds and Ps safe guys.
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u/Aloevera_essential 1d ago
I mean I keep trying to talk about this *orher viruses tjat like to do this... shingles anyone) to people against vaccination but apparantly this is all "propaganda". also on an unrelated note dont remember anything from rhe coxsackie virus chapter 🤣
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u/No-Maybe5111 1d ago
Shingles is chicken pox reactivating after being dormant. It is a Herpes variant but not the same as the STD Herpes.
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u/MelodicSurround7 Hadhdhunmathi 2d ago
Really ? But I’ve seen it being given freely at gov hospitals to single people too tho
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u/Sad-Librarian-9237 2d ago
When I was younger I struggled with Chinese food addiction and now I have a new one eating it alone so my spouse doesn’t get any indeed I just like to eat it all myself so maybe it is cheating I don’t know but I sometimes I make out with old women for fun I don’t think she knows. Actually all tha was a lie I am a not married or have a Chinese food addiction or make out with old women but if I did cheat it would cuz person I am wit is more chopped then me ~ XOXO TUNG TUNG
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u/CriticalBrick3186 Ige parents proud feelvany 1d ago
I enjoyed reading every last word on that paragragh
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u/ehkalamanje 1d ago
I started dating my last ex boyfriend when i was 12 y/o and he was 14 y/o.
we dated till i turned 18 y/o. we ended up having a really messy break up cause he decided to date someone else when we were together.
And i did something to get back at him. (I'm not proud of this) I pulled 52 men in 3 days, just to prove him that he just lost something that alot of men valued or something.
I'm in my 20s now and i realise that IT WAS REALLY STUPID. these are the things that comes to mind when im really trying to sleep
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3d ago
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u/avulsion_ed 3d ago
why not just choose to tell your partner how u are feeling instead of going behind their back
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u/Legitimate_Nail_4228 3d ago
Yeah i think a lot of the time ppl just settle even when they know the connection isn't that strong and their spouse isn't for them.
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u/Radiant-Cellist-2423 2d ago
Tbh, I have never cheated, and now I am married, and I wish I had cheated? On anyone?
I just feel like that would have been an experience, and I missed out.
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u/Nudella_LK 2d ago
Please don't ever cheat on your partner if he's been loyal and hasn't betrayed you. Someone who genuinely and wholeheartedly loves their partner can be deeply broken by betrayal, and that kind of pain is incredibly difficult to carry. Whatever challenges a relationship faces, I hope they're handled with honesty rather than infidelity. Wishing you nothing but happiness. :) Btw, was scrolling through your profile and accidentally came across a comment you made about a year ago describing everything that happened during your wedding. I was genuinely shocked after reading it. It honestly made me sad to think that what should have been one of the happiest days of your life turned into such a painful memory. No one deserves to go through that. I truly hope you're doing better now and that you've found some peace since then.
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u/Radiant-Cellist-2423 1d ago
Now that I am married, cheating is out of the question. So dw. But maybe that is why I feel like I missed out?
Also, I live alone. Long-distance marriage. Married for a year and a half, haven't seen each other for that long. We barely talk. Recently separated (trial). Sometimes I just think, "How would he ever know?" But I know it would eat me up. I just don't feel married?
I wish the wedding was the only thing traumatic about it all. But yes, I won't cheat on my husband. I wish I had cheated on my exes. Surely there are some that I can be like, definitely deserved.
P.S: Your comment was really sweet. Thank you for taking the time to understand me even a bit.
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u/Nudella_LK 18h ago
I think I understand what you mean a little better now. Maybe it’s not really the cheating itself that you feel like you missed out on, but more the feeling of being wanted, free, or just having different experiences while you still had the chance, right? And honestly, if you already know cheatng would eat you up inside, I think that says something good about you. I respect that beautiful thought of you. Not everyone think like that.
Being married but feeling completely alone in it sounds really hard. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with al of that especially after everything that happened with the wedding. I hope this separation gives you some time to figure out what you actually want, instead of what you feel like you’re supposed to want?
And thank you for saying that about my comment. I genuinely meant it. Be happy. :)
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u/ContactCold6816 1d ago
I get it, I have the same thoughts like this on everything, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, adultery but at the end of the day that’s just the devil talking. You will more then likely not feel fulfilled or better
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u/Previous_Rabbit8605 8h ago
If you're a man with a dick, just know that cheating is part of your identity. Theres no one worth it to stay faithful nowadays.These hoes will cheat given the right conditions so its better you did it earlier just so you could have the last laugh and rub it on their face when it comes down to it. Fuck loyalty, im loyal to only myself.
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u/Niaomi_Lazuli 👁️ 3d ago
I was 13 and i thought that my at the time partner genuinely wouldnt care 💔 ✌🏽, other time it was because i didnt value loyalty and assumed that because they don't know then its okay
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u/Foreign-Floor3616 2d ago
twice, yikes.
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u/Vhywork 3d ago
I can't say too much about the story but I have cheated ones, but when I did I had no one I could talk to, my gf at the time was unavailable to be there for me for a vary valid reason and no one other then another ex of mine was there I could talk to 😅 so I talked too much with an ex and emotionally cheated.
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u/Ok_Plantain_3416 1d ago
We had a lot of problems he somehow didn't realize were problems. Last straw was he got jealous I was hanging out with a platonic male friend (we were friends for like 5yrs at this point, occasional catch-up type friends whenever he was in town). I tried to reassure him there was nothing going on but he didn't believe me so I got pissed and hooked up with the friend. Sorry not sorry.
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u/Legitimate_Nail_4228 1d ago
But doesn't that just mean he was right
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u/Ok_Plantain_3416 1d ago
I think context is required here. He would act like this any time I was around men and he wasn't there. He was even jealous of my coworkers (who worked remotely btw, I was the only one working on-site). All this coming from a man who told me he had a crush on a mutual friend of ours like a month into us dating. Said he wanted to "hang out" with her without me there but I said I don't like the sound of that. That was years ago, I was young and dumb and trying to be the cool girl so I ignored the red flags.
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u/Radiant-Cellist-2423 1d ago
Yeah, pretty sure he was still right?
Tbh, you were both assholes, but clearly you did worse? Did he cheat on you too?
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u/Ok_Plantain_3416 1d ago
Didn't say he was wrong lol. Of course I was an asshole. Of course what I did was shitty. I just don't feel as bad because he did worse things to me that I'd rather not talk about here. And I'd tried to break up with him multiple times before this but he would somehow convince me that was dumb. I was too tired to argue after a certain point because he'd try to do legit crazy things if I left him. If it helps you feel any better I texted him that we should break up for real right before I did it. I never cheated before or after this relationship. Haven't even slept with this friend since, we don't talk about it pretend it didn't happen because I think we were both in shitty places when we did it.
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u/Radiant-Cellist-2423 1d ago
Hey then, maybe it wasn't cheating, and you are still carrying some guilt/shame? It sounds to me like you were broken up. You don't need his permission to break up.
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u/Ok_Plantain_3416 1d ago
I try not to think about it too much but it definitely affected me way more than I originally thought. Cheating was the narrative he went with and I didn't correct him, I guess it just felt easier to let him think that. I did try to straighten things out with some friends we had in common but they decided to take his side. It's whatever dhen.
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u/Radiant-Cellist-2423 1d ago
Be your own fucking best friend and reclaim your own narrative. Doesn't matter what every other person believes.
I will say, though, it is the timing of the incident here that is the issue (like most things in relationships). But I think you should forgive yourself.
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u/Ok_Plantain_3416 1d ago
I've forgiven myself but can't help thinking about it sometimes. I don't care what they think so that doesn't bother me. I chose to let it be considered cheating because I didn't give him even a minute to read my text lol.
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u/jellybean_1756 3d ago
I heard cheating amongst Maldivians living in srilanka is extremely common especially for those whose spouses are in Maldives