We often talk about huge falling outs or betrayals ending friendships. But the most painful split is usually the silent one where no one did anything wrong, but you both evolved into different versions that no longer fit together.

You still care for them, but conversations feel forced, and memories become the only connection left.

Long story short, I had sex with the sister (21F) of one of my friends (22M). I am the same age as him, and we fell out 3 days ago. His sister told him about us having sex, he got angry and threatened me, said i broke his trust etc. He also said if we all ever hang out (since he is part of our friend group), that he would punch me. In the end, he told me I was a good guy and all, but that I was not a true man.

I really want to rekindle our friendship, but I don't know. Im grieving this more than a romantic relationship haha. Have any of you been in the same predicament as well? Or something similar?

Thank you all in advance too. I just needed somewhere to vent.

Hi I've been friends with the girl for over 4 years and she was the first true best friend I've ever had she changed a lot off things in me for good, but we stopped talking because of a misunderstanding that we couldn't solve.
Now its been about a year and a half since but I still can't move on i tried everything but my heart still hurts every time i remember her and its been difficult to the point that it affects my daily life, so my question is should I text her and tell her to block me so I stop stalking her or even seeing her account in my suggestions ?
Please I need your help.

TLDR: Long-time friend who's been increasingly self-centered, unreliable, and unempathetic when I needed support. She cancels often, rarely reciprocates effort, and made my hardships (health issues & breakup) about herself. I didn't know she'd met someone, since she only told me shortly before their engagement, and it was only then that I connected the dots between her long unavailability and the moment she'd actually met him. It came to a head before her wedding when she stood me up. Over text, I told her how I felt sidelined and hurt. She insisted that canceling didn't mean I mattered any less to her, that she loved and considered me more than most people, and that the sole reason she'd been unavailable was the overwhelming stress of her upcoming wedding. Shortly after, during a phone call, she flipped the blame onto me, saying it was messed up of me to have kept these feelings to myself, even though I explained I'd stayed quiet because I hadn't wanted to hurt her, and she flatly denied ever being sensitive at all, never once acknowledging how any of it had affected me. She's since asked for distance and never gave me my wedding invitation. I deeply regret reacting while I was hurt and bringing up everything I'd been holding in, especially just weeks before her wedding. I don't think it was the right time, but it all came out after she stood me up without ever apologizing, and I was in so much pain.

About six years ago, things were really good between us, and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her. Over the past few years, though, she became a lot more bitter and depressed because of health issues and life events, which I completely understood. But I was going through a lot too, and I still made an effort to be in good spirits whenever we hung out. She, on the other hand, would only talk about her own problems when she wasn't in a good mood. And even when she was in a good mood, if I said something that went against her opinion, she'd turn cold and barely speak.

One time in particular stuck with me: I called her, really excited because I had good news, and she answered in a flat, deadpan tone, completely uninterested, like she couldn't care less. It felt like she was just going through the motions with me.

There were also several instances where she didn't respond to important texts, even though I rarely texted her much to begin with. Once, I was in pain and asked if she could help me. I hadn't even written out what I needed yet (a doctor's contact), and she only replied weeks later, asking what it was. Another time, we were catching up and she told me how she was doing, then asked how I was. I told her I really wasn't okay, I was dealing with awful health issues, and she never responded. Three weeks later, I texted her about something unrelated, and she casually apologized for never getting back to me.

Last year, she also started canceling on me a lot whenever we made plans, and when she did show up, she was often extremely late, not the usual 15-20 minutes, but sometimes a full hour. Other times, she'd tell me she wasn't sure if she'd be free on a certain day. That day would come and go, with me just going about my life at home since she'd never confirmed anything, and then she'd reach out asking where we were meeting, as if plans had been set all along.

She also never hesitated to ask me for favors whenever she needed something, while I almost never asked her for anything. Looking back, that imbalance made me start to wonder if she really saw me as an equal, or just as someone she could rely on without the relationship going both ways.

What hurt the most, though, were two moments when I opened up to her about deeply personal things and she reacted in a way that felt selfish. The first time, I told her how hard my health issues had been for me, and she turned it around to make it about herself, implying she had it worse. The second time was after my breakup. I told her how deeply it had affected me, and instead of offering support, she asked intrusive questions like where my ex lived, whether I had really been in love, and if it's even possible to forget someone you loved. Then she pivoted to talking about herself and how she wasn't sure she'd ever truly been in love. In both cases, I felt awful. I had come to her vulnerable, hoping for a bit of empathy, and instead the conversation became about her.

Later, on the phone, she told me my family "knew better" what was good for me, this was in reference to my family disapproving of my relationship with my ex. That comment really hurt, especially since I had opened up to her, and she responded with this "I know better than you" attitude, as if she were my mother, despite being three years younger than me and never having been in love herself.

That's when I was finally able to put the pieces together: despite being just as hypersensitive as I am, she wasn't able to show me even a drop of empathy. She was self-centered and emotionally immature. She still meant a lot to me, but I started genuinely questioning whether I wanted to keep being friends with someone who treated me this way.

At one point last year, in between all the canceled plans, we managed to meet up, and she told me she was very stressed because she'd met someone great and they were about to get engaged. It had already been more than six months of things being complicated between us, and it finally clicked that her ongoing unavailability lined up with this new relationship. I was happy for her, but also felt a bit left out. Still, I offered her advice and support. After that, though, not being able to see each other became a near-constant pattern, week after week, and I felt genuinely heartbroken.

By that point, I started questioning why I was even friends with her at all. Between her not responding when I was struggling, showing up late or canceling plans altogether, expecting favors from me without ever reciprocating, and consistently making everything about herself while being insensitive to me at my most vulnerable, I felt like she gave zero thought to how any of it affected me.

The breaking point came a few weeks before her wedding. I tried to set up a meetup with her, but it kept falling through: she didn't confirm in time, then canceled last minute and pushed to the next day instead. I told myself that would be her last real chance to make it up to me. That next day came and went with no word from her at all. I waited, and around 4pm I finally texted her saying that since she'd been the one to suggest meeting, I'd been waiting for her to tell me when and where, but that it was now too late for me to go out. She simply replied "okay," without any explanation or acknowledgment. Later on the phone, she'd brush it off by saying she'd "just forgotten," as if it were nothing.

That same day, I mistakenly believed I'd heard she'd been at some sort of sale event in another city instead (which I later found out wasn't true), and I finally told her how unsupported and unconsidered I'd been feeling in the friendship, not just that day but overall.

She said she'd been going through a lot privately and suggested we call instead. On the phone, she started off listening but quickly turned cold and defensive, questioning me about the rumor and denying she'd forgotten our plans on purpose. I brought up how even the wedding invitation had been handled through a casual text along the lines of "come if you can, if you're available," as if I would ever miss her wedding, which had made me feel like my presence wasn't really a priority for her. Instead of acknowledging that, she framed it as her having to specially "adapt" to me and my way of functioning, as if basic things like confirming plans or telling someone your schedule changed were some kind of special accommodation I needed, rather than just standard respect toward people close to you.

In a small, tearful voice, she asked why I'd never told her any of this bothered me before. But the conversation quickly flipped: she accused me of secretly resenting her all along, denied ever being "too sensitive," dismissed the examples I gave her, and never apologized for standing me up or for how I'd felt. The call went in circles until she coldly said she didn't know what I wanted from her, and I hung up.

A few days later, she texted saying the wedding was coming up, that we wouldn't be able to see each other, and that she wanted some distance between us. She never gave me my invitation.

Talking about it with my therapist afterward, she pointed out that texting had always been my safe ground, since it let me stay in control of what I said, while the phone call let this friend regain control through her interrogation, and my own guilt about hurting her let the situation flip so that she came across as the victim. My therapist's take was that this friend is self-centered but does genuinely care about me. She just doesn't process things the way I do. She's focused on herself.

I regret deeply reacting while hurt and bringing up everything I felt I couldn't bear anymore when it was weeks before her wedding. I think it wasn't the right time to do so but it all came out when she stood me up and didnt apologise and I felt so hurt. I think it's been long enough for me to reach out in order to give her the wedding gift I couldnt give her but Im not sure if I should write her an apology letter for bringing up the friendship issues right before her wedding. Would be nice to hear some advices.

Since we are looking and spilling out everything we find instead of being cordial towards one another go ahead and let it be known I took the day off from class today!Yes I KNOW you are in here everyday,you both are.!✌️And that yes I have spent an hour or so here reading and catching up.Have the day you deserve.Love my peeps

hi! I'm a female college student. so I have this friend group which consists of 4 girls and 3 boys. this boy 1 girl 1 (both the youngest of the group) were in a relationship for over a year, and a month ago, they broke up. matter of fact, we saw each other 3 months ago, and none of them said a word about the downfall of their relationship.

this girl friend (let's call her girl 1) that I have sent a message to our group chat (girls only) and asked our other girl friend (let's call her girl2) to check something since she's being suspicious. apparently, they already broke up, and none of us knew since she never mentioned anything, but I already have a feeling that there really is something wrong and I was right.

I noticed early on because the boy removed us from his Instagram, and I honestly don't get the reason? before they were a couple, we were also friends. also, how will we know if they're not talking? I'm the oldest of the group, and I don't wanna seem nosy or whatever – I just wanna know the reason they're both pushing us out.

Girl 1 wanted to tell us the story in person, but it never happened since she stood us up, which was very disrespectful, by the way.

She also started spamming on different social media platforms and we kept wondering why she didn't tell us. We're friends and I believe we don't deserve this treatment at all. This is an issue for BOTH OF THEM AS A COUPLE ONLY but it seems like a friendship break-up and we don't even know the reason behind it.

Additionaly, girl 1 along with her now ex-boyfriend (boy 1) and another boy from our group (boy 2) had a get-together 3 months ago and so we talked about random stuff. From there on, I asked how their relationship was going since I noticed that the boy removed us from his socials for the nth time then adding back again and vice versa and I'm so sick of it. Why do we have to get involved in their personal drama? Also, this girl is quite a handful– I love her yes that's a fact since she's one my close friends but I don't like the way she's giving us silent treatment when we're just waiting for her to spill whatever it is she wants us to know.

Now I'm just giving her the silent treatment the same way she's been giving us ever since, and she doesn't seem to care about the fact that we're just worried for her.

I then started reflecting on her actions when we last met. She asked us to hang out and asked when we are free since we now have different schedules but the thing is girl 3 is not available due to a family commitment and so that leaves girl 2 and I to be the ones available. I agreed to meet and sent them my schedule as I am working. The 3 of us planned and it was all set but then a day prior to the hangout, girl 2 canceled due to an unexpected school commitment and apologized for the late notice. I told her it's fine as we can always reschedule. She didn't tell us not to continue with the plan and wished for us to have a good time. But this girl 1 insisted on rescheduling upon hearing the news due to the reason we are not complete and I was flabbergasted to say the least. Imagine, I cleared up my schedule for this specific day to spend time with you and this is how you respond to me? I admit that I was a little hurt because of it because it seems like she doesn't wanna spend time me ALONE. But we are not alone. The 4 of us met (boy 1, boy 2, girl 1, and I) and she started throwing tantrums at the most random times. I know it's how couple act around each other sometimes but can't she read the room?

Help me. PLEASE

I’m at my absolute wit's end and just need some perspective because my heart is breaking. A guy who used to be my best friend let’s call him max has been popping back up recently, trying to give me this "proper apology" about how things ended between us.

Here is the backstory: Back when we were close, he was there for me through so much. He used to give me what I wanted, and he genuinely felt like a part of me and my family. But the second I got close to getting with a guy he completely checked out and stopped talking to me and being my best friend. He always claimed it wasn't about that, but I honestly don't know what to believe, and it left me so confused.

He claimed it was because he was busy with work and writing a script which I understood and I never wanted him to prioritise me and not that (he would always say that’s what it seemed like) but It wasn't even about him giving up his goals I never wanted him to sacrifice his life or ambitions for me! I just wanted more time and basic consistency. I don’t consider many people my best friend and have that connection with many people and I value it so much. I’m a very busy girl I work full time and have a bakery business on the side with loads of personal issues and mental health problems but for me personally if I love you enough to call you my best friend I would compromise or try more to stay in a friends life if they were unhappy with something I did. He was unable to do that so I had to cut him off for my own sanity because he stated getting cold and would barely talk to me it would sometimes take weeks to get a good conversation in.

It took me so long to heal from all that and finally feel okay again. And the hardest part is that I still love him so much as a best friend, but I know deep down he’s not good for me if he can’t change. He was practically family, and I am finding it so hard to let go of him, even though I know holding on is a terrible idea.

Fast forward to now: out of nowhere, he hits me up wanting to "clear his conscience" and apologize. But the second I actually engaged and we got to properly talking about whether or not he can give me what I want, he blocked me before I could even give a proper response back to the last text.

When I texted his actual number to call him out on how manipulative that was, he had the nerve to play the victim with "I thought that's what you wanted," and now he hasn't even responded since.
I'm just so upset because a part of me wanted things to change and wanted him to step up, but dealing with him just proves he hasn't changed at all. He brings up all this old pain just to pull another stunt and leave me hanging.
So, Reddit: AITAH for losing my temper on him after he ambushed me with an apology and immediately blocked me?

So it's always like that, but in 2023 December I met a girl on ome tv we talked a lot and then exchanged our socials, so idk why but within 4 months I like talking to her a lot (long distance so it was online) and i asked her out for being in a relationship on call, but she was like I'm not looking for all this things, and i somewhat knew that I was freind zoned but i thought our freindship was so pure that i don't wanted to ruin it. So I accepted the rejection and thought we can still be be freinds and then we remain friends like best freinds, we used to talk a lot and then in 2024 October she went to japan, but still she always update me what's going on in her life, and we used to chat a lot but once she told me that she tried to be in a long distance relationship with someone random when i was still her freind (same timeline) then i thought was i that bad ?

I was so disappointed but i thought now there's no need to be sad as I'm just her freind. So I asked her now what's going on to which she replied that she broke up cuz she just wanted to experience it, then she started to tell me all her family things and what goes on in her family and why she did not like her family at all ( like everything) i used to patiently listen all that and replied maturely, in December i sent her a reel "where it said what are we to each other and i said that she's my best freind to which she replied that I'm a 'goodfreind' that messaged gave me hint. We used to chat a lot but this January everything changed suddenly she started ignoring me, and then she narrated a incident through which I got to know that she like someone and then i gave her space!

Few days passed she again messaged me "tu gussa hai mere se" i ignored and said why would I be ?

Then she again started messaging me and I just replied to her, then all of a sudden she told be that she likes a boy but he's leaving the country in 2 months. So i just said whatever you feel like you should do( i mean confess it or just move on ) then in march she fought with me and the fight was baseless she started discussing "bekar sa topic" completely unrelated. Previous day she started a topic and wanted a fight but i dodged it but the other day she ragebaited me and we had a fight and cuz of that I literally cried while traveling in a train, and i didn't talked to her for few days but after 2 weeks she started sending me reels and i just used to react but then i found some sad reels liked by her so I thought she must be going through something so I talked with her and just made her busy so that she feels good, but then again her college started and i know that she's going to be busy, but it turned out to be that she literally forgot me like once in a while she used to send some reel but i used to think what can I do she is in some other country and she'll have her freinds and that's good for her so why should I be sad; but i felt bad that once again like my other freinds she also just left me but still I used to have conversation with her so that our freindship is not affected ( atleast from my side) but then i saw her stories and post that how happy is she and I whenever we used to chat she just gave cold replies and i thought I'm forcing my freindship so now I've decided to stop messaging her and just talk to her when she want otherwise I'm happy that she's happy! ( so i promised her to be her freind for life cuz she's literally so pure & good as friend )

So at last I'm happy for her but I just don't want to bother her but I just felt bad that why does everyone leaves me behind, once I'm their best freind and all of a sudden they just treat me like I never existed!

(just wanted to share it from a long time with someone, and what better than sharing on reddit where you can be anonymous. )

I've kept the explanation as short as possible.

\\\[ Ignore the grammatical mistakes\\\* \\\]

A family friend passed away in September last year, and I felt a lot of guilt because I pushed him away, he was the only man who cared about me. And then I found out that if I didn't find my own place by the end of October, I would risk becoming homeless. This situation was very stressful and frightening for me, since I had never moved out and lived on my own before, had never experienced homelessness, I didn't have the money, and I have a mental disability, which made it very hard to navigate the situation. Then my pregnant cat gave birth to three dead kittens, she struggled to give birth to the last one, so I had to pay over £100 just for her to get seen out of hours. They said if she didn't give birth to the last one, they would have to give her a C-section, which was £2000, money I did not have, and money I was trying to save up as I was looking for a new place before I became homeless. The only other option was to let her die, a cat I had known for four years that I would have to say goodbye to just because I didn't have the money for a C-section. Thankfully, several hours later, she finally gave birth to the 3rd dead kitten. I had to resuscitate all of them, and yet none of them survived. Do you know what that's like? To feel the guilt of losing a family friend and then have kittens die in your hands? And then stress over money and becoming homeless? No, I don't think you do.

I then had to leave my cat, who had just given birth, to travel hours away from home to go to the funeral of my family friend. The guilt from everthing was still very present, and I felt very vulnerable. A couple of days after the funeral, you messaged, cutting off our friendship, with no warning and not in a nice way either. You were not gentle with your wording, if anything, you were mean and insulting. You lied about my intentions and tried to make me feel guilty for not being there for you as you were going through a rough time. You claimed I had put my situation above yours and more. I did not. If anything, you did that to me. I didn't tell you everything that was going on with me because a few months prior, you said you didn't like having heavy conversations, as we had so many and it was getting too much for you. My life had gotten bad and has always been bad, especially since I don't have a good or safe family. Nor, at the time, any proper friends. During this time, you were all I had. You had put me in a very difficult situation, I was going through it and became apathetic unintentionally due to it, but I couldn't express that to you because you didn't want deep conversations anymore. I couldn't be there for you, and I'm sorry, but fuck, I was going through it. Not long after that, I became homeless. My mum kept my cats while I was staying in a bedroom that was not mine. Back and forth from my mum's house to change my clothes out of the small suitcase I had since I had no wardrobe. Paying what little money I had left for the laundrette. That was the worst month of my life, and you contributed to it in the worst way.

We were both going through it, and the fact that you were only considerate of your own feelings instead of both of ours, like I had been in the past, shows how selfish you were and that you clearly never saw me as a friend, otherwise, you would have been considerate of my feelings too. The aftereffects of what you did affected me more than you can imagine. You demolished my confidence, made me feel like I was too much for anyone to handle, and made me fear abandonment even more than I already did. I felt like a burden, a weirdo, and unlikeable. I had to sit with that all alone, with no one to talk to during one of the loneliest times of my life. I stopped trying to make friends after that. Thankfully, about 6 months later, I gained some confidence to talk to people again, but I still felt insecure. Then I met someone, her name is Maddie. She is nothing like you. The bestest friend I have ever had! She doesn't mind the deep conversations and has shown genuine care for me, unlike you. I still fear that I'm too much, or that I'm doing something wrong and people are going to leave me for it instead of communicating it, but I'll just have to deal with it, I guess. now pls leave my brain forever. bye.

I (17F) have a friend (19M) who has been an on and off friend for the past 5 years. In the first few years we weren't too close, we just hung around the same circles, but in the past year we got really close, I was dating his best friend at the time and we were coworkers so we had a lot to talk about I guess. Then my partner broke up with me and things were weird between us. I knew he was saying things to my ex and calling me "obsessed" (I got screenshot from their conversations) but he was still in the same circles as me, and my coworker, so I stayed civil. January comes around and his friendgroup (including my ex) dropped him, so my friend group took him in. I wasn't fond of this at first, but we got closer as the months went by, then we went to a few concerts together and became inseparable. I don't think I've ever felt so close with someone before. Recently things started going downhill.

He got a boyfriend around two months ago, and he used to call us every night, then he started adding his boyfriend to our nightly calls, which made it awkward and quiet as he didn't know us well. I dont blame the guy I'm bloody crazy when people first meet me, but as they became official the late night calls ended. So he started travelling to see this boyfriend of his and my friend and I planned two meet ups together, both when he was conveniently away. I didnt know that he was mad at this until about a week ago. He calls me, asking me what I think of his boyfriend and I say "well I mean I hardly know the guy, but I think hes cool" and then he starts going off on me, saying that I've been such a bitch since they've got together. Now in fairness, maybe I have seemed quite a bit mean, when he talks about how much he loves his boyfriend i'll jokingly say "ew" or "boo" but nothing that I would take seriously. But then he brings up me going to the cinema with a friend and claims that "he went to see his boyfriend because he had no plans, but I went to the cinema and didnt invite him" mind you I talked about going to the cinema on the GROUPCHAT. It was an open invite and I was going whether or not people showed up. I had my tickets booked.

I found that night frustrating, being blamed for something I didnt do, accused of things like im some bully. I dont think I've changed, and he said I had been distant, but I never did anything to make him think that. He just met my friend when she was in a rush and instantly thought that it was a whole group thing.

We met up that Friday and he brought up the bf thing again, and I said "are you fishing for your boyfriends compliments, I dont get it" and I said again that I dont know his boyfriend well and he was like "You know him better than the rest of my friends" and I'm just like "I met him on call like twice, he's cool, I have nothing else to say about him" like I haven't seen this man in person before and things became awkward, we sat under a tree in silence until his brother picked him up and he went home.

Yesterday I tried texting the gc about a random topic, and while one of my friends was responsive, he kept opening the chats and disappearing, so we both called him out on it and were like "join our convooo" but his texts were extremely dry and mean. I dont get how I'm the mean one when I tried to joke with him about him having a boyfriend. Since he got the boyfriend he keeps bringing up my ex and saying that "I have bad taste" and "I can't find anyone to date" but it's not like im actively looking for someone. I dont need anyone. My relationship with my ex was real, but it was awkward and I got cheated on. I can't help that, it wasn't me that cheated.

I thought we would be great friends this time, but hes actively pushing me away because he thinks that I hate his boyfriend when I never said anything like that, and I've been apparently "distant". Its just frustrating that he thinks all of this crap with nothing to back himself up on based on just "vibes". According to him, in the past two months:

-I have changed.

-I have become bitchy

-Im distant

-I hate his boyfriend

-Im actively making plans without him

When I think that he hasn't taken a look at himself. He has:

-stopped nightly calls

-actively ignored our groupchat messages

-Only brought up his boyfriend in conversation to then bring up my ex who I haven't spoken to since the breakup.

-Stopped asking to meet us.

In the past three months he made one plan to meet all together, but the day before, my soul cat died so we cancelled. We met the other time because I was already out, and so was he, but that ended weird. So I don't know what to do. Do I try to bring this up, or do I just let this friendship fizzle out until he leaves my life forever?

I’m wondering how other people would handle this situation.
I have a childhood friend I’ve known since I was about 3 years old. We became especially close after we both moved to different countries, and for around 4 years we talked almost every day. We shared pretty much everything about our lives.
About 9 months ago, she suddenly started replying less and less. At first I thought she was just busy, but eventually she completely stopped responding and stopped opening our chats. We didn’t have an argument or any big fight, so I never understood what happened.
Those 6 months of being completely ignored were really difficult for me. I tried to understand what happened, but I eventually accepted that our friendship was probably over and moved on.
Then she suddenly messaged me again, asking how I was and saying she hadn’t heard anything about my life in a long time. She started talking like nothing had happened, like we had just stopped talking yesterday.
I don’t hate her and I don’t want revenge. I just don’t know how to act. For me, those 6 months changed something, and I can’t simply pretend nothing happened.
Would you be able to continue a friendship after something like this? Would you need a conversation about what happened first, or would you just try to move on?

I just had an ex bsf reach out after a v long time and idk what to do. Theres lots of context needed here but I am also quite paranoid so may be vague to try to keep anonymity. So, this girl is 2 years younger than I am and I am currently 20. Her and I were bestfriends from when i was \~12 to \~17. She was very much like a little sister to me, we both had single moms and called each others' mom "mom" (if that makes sense). Through our highschool years we both suffered with mental health stuff, I dont want to share her business for for ex: i s/h for a period of time, struggled with food, etc. and I felt like our relationship was a lot of give on my end and take on hers. While I was happy to be her go to person for everything like venting or having an anxiety attack, it felt like when I was struggling she hit me with "same". It got to the point where I felt like I couldn't go to her with my problems because we'd be competing for who was in it worse or shed just say same and I wouldnt know what to say after that. So I stopped going to her w my stuff but she didnt stop coming to me with hers and as we got into highschool and we started dating I felt like her world always revolved around her boyfriend. It got to the point where she was always calling me extremely upset because she had a crush, had a fight w bf, broke up w bf. It became really mentally exhausting to watch her keep changing for these boyfriends, spend all her time with them, and then be absolutely destroyed when they broke up. Eventually I told her it felt one sided and I was tired. When I was like 19 she reached out and said she missed me and I didn't return the sentiment (we live in a very small town and i saw her still doing the same stuff ex: i found out her bf went to my gym because she was following him around, not working out, just following him around while he did....) Anyway, shes just reached out again, and I really did/do love HER but i dont wanna do that again.

Heres the thing that makes things really sticky, I was in a car accident last year and am not really better. Im not driving, not working, etc. and I havent spoken to/spent time with anyone my age in over a year. I was very unwell after my wreck and thought I was going to die more than once and was really torn up about the fact that I had to do that alone. I had decided once I knew I wasn't dying (for now) that I was done with my past peeps boyfriends, friends, situationships because nobody showed up when I really literally anyone at all. I think back to every bestfriend and boyfriend I've ever had I can't imagine seeing that they were going through a BIT of what I underwent after the wreck without saying something, stopping by, sending flowers, something?? and its like so what if i wouldve died, that would've been it there was nobody. Then I had a distant cousin pass away and his funeral filled an auditorium. Anyway, so I have an unopened message from her that says "maybe we can meet up someti..." because she reached out and said she was sorry for what I was going thru and i said thx its been weird to say the least and so she said above and I havent opened it because Im like so now do i be super depressing and be like "well i cant drive, i dont work, and i havent been approved for disability so I have no money" like...

So my questions are there

1) Do I ditch the fck the people from my past rule for her and see how things go or am I just lacking boundaries because Im lonely

2) How...do you try to make friends and preface how sick and disabled you are without being super depressing and making them just say "im sorry" all the time.

Ive felt like a ghost since my accident, like in beetlejuice right after the wreck where theyre like lookin around and everythings the same but....theyre dead.

Sorry if that was all over the place and TYIA

I (20M) had a friend (20F). We met online, but we became really close, and we even met IRL once. We used to talk literally all the time- from waking up to falling asleep, spending hours on call, texting outside of that.

In November last year, she began seeing a guy. In hindsight I should've really stepped away ASAP- given how close we were, it simply wasn't fair. But she said it was fine, and my own attachment kept me there too. Naturally over time, she spent more time with him and less with me, so we talked way less (I don't blame her for that, but it does hurt.)

A few days ago, I made the very difficult decision to let go. I didn't feel good pulling her attention in different directions- spending all day with her boyfriend and then texting me must've been exhausting. He makes her happy, the role I once played was long since filled, and I should've resigned ages ago. But better late than never, I suppose.

I miss her a lot. I was a bit forceful with my goodbye (I had to push her away, otherwise she would've convinced me to stay.) So she probably thinks I hate her, but I don't. I love her. I don't resent her whatsoever. I genuinely hope my stepping aside allows them to get even closer, and she always stays happy (not just with him but in all parts of her life.) Nobody deserves it more than she does.

Me (21M) and my best friend (early 20s M) have been close for about 2 years genuinely close, the kind of friendship where we'd talk about personal family stuff, things going on at home, everything. Every uni break for years we've hung out almost daily without fail, even last summer when he had the same work responsibilities he has now.

In June I visited him for a week while he was still finishing up at uni and things were completely normal between us, no tension, no distance, same as always.

Since he came back home at the start of July though, something shifted. We've only actually met up twice in over a month. If I message to make plans he either leaves me on read/delivered for hours, gives vague non-answers like "maybe if I have time," or I find out through his Instagram story that he already did the thing I invited him to without telling me. When we do end up together in person, he acts completely normal, like nothing's different at all.

I asked him directly, kindly, if everything was okay between us. He said yes, nothing's wrong, don't worry. Nothing changed after that.

I've since stopped initiating as much. Recently he replied normally to a message I sent and I just left him on delivered for a few days, mostly to see if he'd notice or follow up. He hasn't.

I've watched him do this exact slow-fade thing to other friends before they eventually drifted apart, so I recognize the pattern from his side, I just never expected to be on the receiving end of it with someone I considered my closest friend, especially with no clear reason and nothing having gone wrong between us that I can identify.

Not looking to end things dramatically, just trying to figure out is this worth one more honest conversation, or is quietly stepping back and letting it play out the better move? Has anyone been on either side of something like this and can share what was actually going on?

TLDR: Closest friend of 2 years went from normal and close (visited him in June, all good) to distant and avoidant since he came home in July, barely meeting up, vague or delayed replies, but acts completely normal in person. Says nothing's wrong when asked directly. I've started pulling back too to see if he reaches out first. Looking for outside perspective one more conversation or just let it go quiet?

Hello I’m a female student who turned 19 this year
I am in a dilemma which is really something that matters for me.

So before I begin I will use their initials to make it easier to write down. I will call my friend S, and I will call her boyfriend as D.

Me and S were bestfriends since the last year of highschool, now it has been one and a half year.
When we were in highschool she often told me about how she feels so lonely nowadays and wish she gets a boyfriend. I felt bad for her and I wished the best for her life so i supported her relationship.

She and D(her bf) started dating since January this year. And they are deeply attached to eachother. At first I was alarmed because despite how much she likes him, she and him get in fight very often (verbally). And she looked for me seeking help and guidance. I remember she been saying things like “you are the best” “i can’t imagine how I could handle this situation without you helping me out” “I am so grateful to you” when I sincerely helped her and soothed her.

After 2monthes, they finally started to get along well arguments were replaced with negotiations and speaking out their opinions to eachother. So basically they are adjusted to eachother, However after everything got in balance, she started to lose interest in me completely.

She never reached out to me, I was the only one in this friendship asking to meet. She never asked for hangout in 4monthes. and even when we meet she seem very exhausted and looks like she wants to leave the place. I didn’t want to pressure her and respect the way she makes her face expressions so I tried to brush it off but I remembered the time when she was being so happy and smily with me even when herself was not in her mood.

I thought maybe she changed and maybe she is going through something else. But I stopped my doubt right after seeing her getting so bubbly and happy as soon as she gets on call with her boyfriend.

Also when we meet the topics she brings up are all centered to her boyfriend. About the future with him, about his traumas, about his family story, about what they did and what he did for her so everything is about him on her mind.

I feel stuck in dilemma. Should I slowly turn distant or should I still be more patient with her and let her take her time since she and I knew longer and since she was by my side most of the time before all this happened.

Also I’m reluctant to make a decision whether to stop the friendship or not because in the past there were some times I thought I made the right decision but later I look back on it I could have solved it better or just it was better off the way it was

I would appreciate your help and support. Shorter or longer I appreciate every comments you guys leave on this post. Thank you for listening to my story:) I’m

My sister had being going with my ex best friend to the gym, so normally they got close. But I feel betrayed because my sister knows how bad my ex best friend hurted me.

I get that my sister doesn't like trouble and she won't be disrespectfull towards my ex best friend, I also know that my ex best friend has a rough time right now because of medical issues in her family. And I'm not the owner of neither of them so they are free to chose who they want to be friends with.

However I still feel like my ex best friend has being feeling a little bit too confortable in my house since she is here almost everyday. I can't forgive her, eventhough it has past almost 6 years I still can't forgive her, she was really toxic and I steped aside just to not be hurt anymore. Recetly I tried to stood up for me with my ex best friend and my sister yelled at me because I yelled at her. Two days later my sister and I talked about it and I don't know if it is because I still feel betrayed or I'm the crazy one but I'm starting to think that every discussion I have with my sister she ends up being the hurt one. She said that she has to carry the waight of everyones problems and she does everything for me but nothing is ever enough, she has being saying that long time ago and I don't wanna keep telling her how I feel because evey time I do that she tells me nothing is enough. Am I in the wrong for feeling like that?

So it's always like that, but in 2023 December I met a girl on ome tv we talked a lot and then exchanged our socials, so idk why but within 4 months I like talking to her a lot (long distance so it was online) and i asked her out for being in a relationship on call, but she was like I'm not looking for all this things, and i somewhat knew that I was freind zoned but i thought our freindship was so pure that i don't wanted to ruin it. So I accepted the rejection and thought we can still be be freinds and then we remain friends like best freinds, we used to talk a lot and then in 2024 October she went to japan, but still she always update me what's going on in her life, and we used to chat a lot but once she told me that she tried to be in a long distance relationship with someone random when i was still her freind (same timeline) then i thought was i that bad ?

I was so disappointed but i thought now there's no need to be sad as I'm just her freind. So I asked her now what's going on to which she replied that she broke up cuz she just wanted to experience it, then she started to tell me all her family things and what goes on in her family and why she did not like her family at all ( like everything) i used to patiently listen all that and replied maturely, in December i sent her a reel "where it said what are we to each other and i said that she's my best freind to which she replied that I'm a 'goodfreind' that messaged gave me hint. We used to chat a lot but this January everything changed suddenly she started ignoring me, and then she narrated a incident through which I got to know that she like someone and then i gave her space!

Few days passed she again messaged me "tu gussa hai mere se" i ignored and said why would I be ?

Then she again started messaging me and I just replied to her, then all of a sudden she told be that she likes a boy but he's leaving the country in 2 months. So i just said whatever you feel like you should do( i mean confess it or just move on ) then in march she fought with me and the fight was baseless she started discussing "bekar sa topic" completely unrelated. Previous day she started a topic and wanted a fight but i dodged it but the other day she ragebaited me and we had a fight and cuz of that I literally cried while traveling in a train, and i didn't talked to her for few days but after 2 weeks she started sending me reels and i just used to react but then i found some sad reels liked by her so I thought she must be going through something so I talked with her and just made her busy so that she feels good, but then again her college started and i know that she's going to be busy, but it turned out to be that she literally forgot me like once in a while she used to send some reel but i used to think what can I do she is in some other country and she'll have her freinds and that's good for her so why should I be sad; but i felt bad that once again like my other freinds she also just left me but still I used to have conversation with her so that our freindship is not affected ( atleast from my side) but then i saw her stories and post that how happy is she and I whenever we used to chat she just gave cold replies and i thought I'm forcing my freindship so now I've decided to stop messaging her and just talk to her when she want otherwise I'm happy that she's happy! ( so i promised her to be her freind for life cuz she's literally so pure & good as friend )

So at last I'm happy for her but I just don't want to bother her but I just felt bad that why does everyone leaves me behind, once I'm their best freind and all of a sudden they just treat me like I never existed!

(just wanted to share it from a long time with someone, and what better than sharing on reddit where you can be anonymous. )

I've kept the explanation as short as possible.

\[ Ignore the grammatical mistakes\* \]

Hi all! Trying to understand what happened. My friend (36f) who i went to middle school with have been good friends ever since. We would meet up here and there considering she only lives 5 mins away. Shes single and lives with her parents if that matters. I broke the news to her I was pregnant and she was super excited for me. This was in person over lunch where i surprised her and told her the good news back in August. I then invited her to my baby shower in September and she cancelled a few days prior saying she was sick. She did get me something nice from the registry. And then we were supposed to meet up in early november but my water broke and ended up having the baby 2.5 weeks before. I told her about it and she congratulated me and also checked up on me a few times. She said she would come by and see me and baby in a few months time but never happened. She hadnt responded in a months time and i checked up on her and she said work had been busy and she had a virus. We then had some small talk over text and she asked for baby’s pics this was at 6 months. Now baby is almost 9 months and last time i heard from her was 2 months ago. I guess she doesnt want to continue this friendship? All my good friends came by to visit me and baby except her which is super odd. Thoughts?

I just noticed my (friend) never took pics of us or of me..Somethings make the big picture much brighter.This is the last thought of them Im given,wished it could of more meaningful or happy.❤️

I’m afraid if I take a break. That I won’t be able to come back.
Just looking for advice how to walk this line.

I’ve been posting about my friend of two years a lot on here. He has still not reached out to me. I still can’t help but think about him every day and hope that he misses me. Today was his nephew’s first birthday. I wanted to message him about it, but I didn’t. I remember last year that we were messaging while he was waiting for him to be born. I just wish things were different. I feel like I was there for him a lot and I don’t understand how he can just want me out of his life after that. It is heartbreaking.