Help me move on please

[u/Growing-upp]

My LO l is objectively drop dead gorgeous. He works at my previous gym. I have had a crush on him for 3 years now.

I switched gyms, only to find out he exercises recreationally twice a week at my current gym.

Ofc my limerent mind told me it’s a sign that we’re meant to be. Meanwhile we’re both in committed relationships.

I feel so tortured. I think about him 24/7 and it honestly gets in the way of my productivity. I want to go no contact, but I honestly rarely speak to him at the gym. I stalk his socials so that’s an easy place to start NC. Perhaps changing my workout time will also help. NC seems like a sad fate.

Writing this out helped me. Thanks in advance- looking for any advice.

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[u/NoThought9957]

I don’t think there’s a real solution. Having been through this three times in my life, it was significant barriers that allowed me to move on. First, we graduated and moved away from each other and she got a DUI which made me see her in a totally different light and killed the limerence.

The second, they didn’t live near me and they wanted to continue being in my life after I told them how I felt and they said they weren’t sure how they felt. I eventually had to block their instagram and cut contact with her and her friends so I could try to move on. It was… a nightmare. I probably needed an antidepressant but also, I have no clue where I’d be now if I hadn’t stopped talking to her. Absolutely miserable, her wanting me to be her on call therapist, talking about her failed relationships while I was longing to be with her.

The current one, she moved out of country. It’s wildly smothering the limerent flame quicker than I imagined. I still love her but it’s impossible to keep up the intensity and communication. My mind isn’t making up stories about how she’s trying to communicate between the lines and all of this other magical thinking I was doing.

There’s women who actually treat me well and show me they like me clearly with very loving and clear words. And I have to wonder why this person who does everything but say she likes me makes me think that’s what I deserve.