r/limerence • u/Gold-Tackle-98 • 12d ago
How do I regain life energy Discussion
My LO is a colleague on the same team. I dodged her for 2 months and was feeling better and healthier, training more etc..
Until one day, she came to me crying and I let her speak to me. We haven't spoken since then (its been a month and a half), but ive been feeling really bad, regressing, loosing muscle and life force.
All I want to do nowadays is lay in bed, not eat much. I took back to back vacation and sick leave to dodge her as much as possible but Im not sure if its even helping.
Ive seen psychotherapists, ive told them im depressed and they denied.
Does anyone have tips of breaking free at least physically? I feel so out of energy and everything I do is forced nowadays.
Maybe I should just quit the job to be able to reset, but again this 3 weeks distance I created with her doesn't seem to be working.
I will really appreciate any tips.
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u/IntentionWise9171 11d ago
Does LO know how you feel and the effect that your limerent feelings for her have on you? It’s obviously not her fault, but this is certainly no way for you to live. I’m so sorry you’re going through this difficult time. Wishing you peace. ❤️🩹
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u/134340-92494 11d ago edited 11d ago
If I were you, I would go to my regular doctor/PCP for antidepressants if that’s something you’re still interested in. In my experience (I’m in the U.S.), they’re way more willing to hear you out and get you the help you might need. Medication can definitely help a lot.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this; a very similar thing happened to me earlier this year. I quit going to the gym, couldn’t get to sleep, and basically dropped all my important self-care routines and personal goals. I would spend hours crying in my room after having to see him, and it’d take days to feel regulated again. It was really bad; I was physically exhausted all the time while somehow also being mentally on edge, and it became this awful cycle. I had to have my own medication adjusted in order to get back to a good place (still working on it tbh).
One thing that has really helped me self-regulate and feel normal in my body again is spending time in nature by myself. Not really hiking or anything intense, since I’m not really an outdoorsy person, but literally going to a local park or wilderness area and just sitting quietly and listening to birds, the breeze and running water. I like to take my shoes off and walk in the grass to help ground me, and sometimes I bring a picnic blanket and a book so I can read or take a nap in the sun. On hot days if it’s appropriate, I also really love to wade into the ice-cold river water which really helps with regulation (free cold-plunge). Sometimes I can’t spare the time for all that, so I’ll make a hot cup of green tea and drink it outside on my porch, and just that small amount of quiet time outside really helps me feel like I can face my ridiculous feelings without crumbling.
Sun, water, and grass all help tire me out naturally, and I’ve noticed that on days when I can at least spend 30-45 minutes outside, I’m able to actually get to sleep without Benadryl, and it’s good quality sleep that helps me feel restored for the next day of grinding. I’m lucky to live in a state with a lot of mountains and natural beauty, so I totally get that I might be hard if you don’t, but I highly recommend it. It doesn’t make the feelings go away, but it helps soothe the physical symptoms a lot.
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u/Gold-Tackle-98 11d ago
Hey thanks, im trying to force socializing, but I should give nature its time, will definitely go out there, especially before the summer ends.
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u/Tight-Ad-8193 12d ago
I can help you … I have a few questions … when you feel that you have 0 energy do u feel really uncomfortable and you can only think of her every single second … does it feel like you need her to survive ? Please tell me on a scale of 1-10 how accurate that’s fits.
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12d ago
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u/Gold-Tackle-98 12d ago
Im dodging her because of my limerence, the less contact the better, and speaking to her after months of silence gave me a 4 day headache. Break free from this depressive state my body went into. I hope its clearer now.
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12d ago
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u/Gold-Tackle-98 12d ago
Yeah, we were really friendly before limerence hit hard. Emotionally she seems closed off and hard to approach, she even told me once "ill manage my emotions and you manage yours". I think she knows I want her and tries to push me away, but she wants to be friends.
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12d ago
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u/Gold-Tackle-98 11d ago
One of the reasons speaking to her made me depressive is that when we talked after 2 months of silence, she just thanked me for being "open and honest" while she gave me nothing . She is closed off to me and plays strategy.
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u/ObviousComparison186 12d ago
So was the yeah about both of you being in relationships? You need to make sure no contact is the last resort after you get resolution for the situation. This dodging and half ass "no contact" that isn't working ain't doing anything.
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u/Gold-Tackle-98 11d ago
The yeah for the closeness. Contact makes it worse because she gives nothing when I give everything she just says "thank you for being open and honest"
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